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A Fish Out of Water…………….Culture Shock!
We may all be having it or have had it!
It’s that feeling of disorientation, loneliness, insecurity or confusion that we feel when we leave our own country …no matter how much we wanted to move and no matter how prepared we thought we were.
Culture shock, defined as the anxiety and feelings felt when people have to operate within an unknown culture, is almost like a silent sickness that afflicts the inexperienced traveler or the unwary expatriate. It can affect us any time and can come with any of the following symptoms : feeling out of control and unable to cope, depression , homesickness, needing more sleep than normal, withdrawing from people, eating more or maybe eating less, lack of energy, stereotyping of and hostility towards the country you are in.
Feeling like a fish out of water can at times be overwhelming, isolating and very lonely.
Kalvero Oberg, an anthropologist described 4 stages of Culture Shock as a way to help us understand our feelings of uprootedness and lack of belonging:
Honeymoon Stage
This stage is when there is a general excitement and euphoria on your arrival. There is a positive anticipation of everything you are about to experience. You might be eager to learn the language spoken and happy to embrace the many new challenges that confront you.
This stage can last for a short time for some and up to 12 months for others.
Frustration Stage
Some of your initial excitement dissipates. Feelings of anger, anxiety and homesickness might creep in. you might reject your new environment and have a lack of interest in your new surroundings. Small things may begin to bother you and you might appear more irritable than usual.
Understanding Stage
This stage arrives when you get a more balanced view of your experience abroad. You become more familiar with the culture, people, food and language of the host country. You will hopefully make friends and feel less homesick. You will overall become more comfortable in your new environment.
Acclimatization Stage
In this final stage, you’ll be able to compare the good and bad of the host country with the good and bad of your home country. You’ll feel less like a foreigner and more like your host country is your second home. You might even laugh about the things that frustrated you at the earlier stage s of culture shock.
So What Can Help Us?
Don’t Panic!! Please reassure yourself that these are totally normal feelings and nobody escapes them at some level.
Be aware of the feelings and go with them.
Fighting your feelings is only going to increase them.
Acknowledge to yourself first that this hard, maybe more so than you thought and be reassured that it passes and is okay.
Give yourself a break
Please don’t beat yourself up with the ' should be managing better statements’ as they only serve to put us down and don’t help at all.
We are all human and go through rough patches at times so allow yourself time to adjust and don’t expect too much from yourself when you are adjusting.
Try to stay as positive as possible by challenging yourself to find at least one good thing about your host country…this will hopefully lead to a ‘mood shift’ and in time things will become more balanced.
Focus on what you can control. There is nothing worse than that feeling of being out of control. Try to only focus on what you can change and take small steps first and then you can take the jumps.
Ask for help
It’s a hard thing to do but you will be amazed if you bring up the topic of homesickness, how many others will be feeling it or have felt it too. Human nature always feels better when they can connect with others and not feel so alone.
Write it down – another great way to release feelings is by keeping a journal. Sometimes thoughts in our heads can be relentless so by writing them down, we are releasing some of that intensity and will feel a little lighter.
If you can, try and remember culture shock is a typical and very normal reaction to difference. While at times it can feel very overwhelming, it does pass and in time most people settle and the shock eases. If these feelings persist, please feel free to contact me at any stage and I will do everything I can to help.
Sabina Christensen M.A.,M.Psych Science
Clinical Psychologist
Dubai London Clinic