Please NOTE, Ladies and Gents: Going to this procedure in the middle of a workday by myself was a VERY BAD IDEA. I am here to warn you to please go with your husband on a day where you do not have to go back to work! [Service announcement over.]
… I got to the hospital, and got my instructions. Unfortunately, this was not with my doctor, but a doctor that I had never met before, which made me uneasy. I got undressed, put the gown on, and waited in a little room for my turn to be called, where several other women were waiting. I felt sorry for them, but then I realized, “Oh my gosh, that means I must have to pity myself too! Ew! Think of something else, Cathy.” Finally, it was my turn. I figured this was just a basic procedure, and I was relatively convinced my tubes were clear. Why wouldn’t they be? As I laid down on the cold, steel table, the doctor told me what he was doing, and that it would feel a bit odd. As he performed the procedure and the dye went into my cervix and then my fallopian tubes, I was very surprised at how incredibly uncomfortable I felt physically. It felt like an icky, weird pressure that is very hard to describe. I told the doctor. He told me that he was sorry I was so uncomfortable, but to hang on as he ascertained the results. Good news: my left fallopian tube seemed fine! The dye was coming out the other side. But… uh-oh… the dye was NOT coming out of the right fallopian tube. He said that he was sorry to ask me to do this, but could I wiggle around in an effort to see if the dye might come through, and he could give me an “all clear” on the right. I grunted and wiggled around gingerly since he had an instrument up my who-haa! He paused and said, there must be something blocking the right fallopian tube, and he was very sorry. Then he terminated the procedure. The nurse came over with a pitying, sad look on her face, and guided me out of the room as I was in shock. As I got to the dressing room, I started to cry, very slowly. I was baffled. Shocked. So very sad. Ashamed. And angry. What the heck? And wow, I have to go back to work now? This stinks ever so badly.
I called Eric on my way back to the office to tell him the news. He was just as shocked. What made matters worse was every month, I can feel when I ovulate (technically called “mittelschmerz”). And about 75% of the time, I ovulate from the right side. Well, ain’t that a kick in the pants!!! I knew logically that if we ended up doing an IVF procedure, it was completely moot that I had a blocked fallopian tube. But I still felt… so very broken. And I wondered how this had happened? And for how long, for goodness sake!? Work that afternoon was just perfectly awful. I tried to not talk to anybody, lay low and cry quietly in the bathroom until I could sob in the comfort of my home with Eric later that night…
Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. And I wish you the best on your journey.
Warm regards,
Cathy