Why Women and Girls Should Learn Self-Defence

As an expat parent, how would you respond when your daughter tells you she has been physically assaulted? It’s a question no parent wants to be faced with, and yet it is one that my parents have been faced with twice. Each time, we’ve had to face what happened and find a way to move on.

Moving to Dubai in the late 1970s was a wonderful opportunity for our family, and it remains so until today. It took a lot of courage for my parents to take a leap of faith and move to the Middle East. The life I’ve been fortunate to live is a far cry from our family’s working class origins in Manchester.

Why Women and Girls Should Learn Self-Defence

As a Dubai expat kid, I also grew up in a sea of protection and wasn’t very streetwise. Back then, we didn’t think about the need for girls and women to protect themselves. Even when I took up Karate at the age of twelve, it was more for recreation than for practical self-defence. 

Like many people, I assumed that violent assaults took place in dark alleys and dodgy places. Because of such media fuelled stereotypes, I made sure to avoid such places, never thinking that danger could be lurking in my own social network, at the hands of people I had trusted.

One day, not long after my fifteenth birthday, someone I knew assaulted me. It created a disconnection from myself, leading me into and thankfully out of a wrong marriage.

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I wouldn’t change the journey of my life, as that would alter the woman I’ve become today. But I do believe I have a responsibility to share what I have learned. And so, when a friend of mine asked me, which martial art should she enrol her teenage daughters in for their self-defence, I could only tell her this:
 
“A martial art is excellent training for young girls and women. A good instructor will teach us discipline and build our confidence and character. He or she will test our strength and teach us to stand up for ourselves in and outside of the dojo. Yet the road to mastering a martial art sufficiently for self-defence is long and hard.”

I’m now a second-degree black belt Martial Artist but instead of recommending Martial Arts, I advised my friend to take her daughters and herself to a local self-defence class. It is something I wished I had done as a teenage girl growing up in Dubai but such classes simply weren’t available in the 1990s.

One reason why I recommend an actual self-defence class over Martial Arts is that they address real life situations of violence. The focus tends to be on preventing violence but what you learn can also be applied to inter-personal relationships, where violence can occur. 
 
Surprised at my response, my friend came back to me with more questions. She wanted to know what to expect in a self-defence class. How would it differ from a Martial Arts class, and why should she attend alongside her daughters? As a married woman and mother, wasn’t she already safe?
 
“A typical course or class will cover both the psychological and physical forms of self-defence. What that means is that we will have an opportunity to learn how to fight back and reflect on the environment we’re living, studying or working in. We also need to understand cultural norms and our rights, as well as local laws.”

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I continued to explain that knowing our rights as women – for example, that we deserve to be treated with respect by others – is just as important as knowing how to defend ourselves from a knife attack or fighting off and escaping violence.
 
Understanding the mindset of a violent person is something that a typical Martial Arts class will not teach, unless it includes practical components of self-defence that are adapted to modern life. This isn’t a topic we can buy a book on and instantly understand. It requires an expert to show us the way.
 
Another reason why I recommend a self-defence course over a regular Martial Arts class for pure self-defence is that some of the best are run by former security personnel, like police officers. These are people who understand crime first hand, and they are therefore well qualified to teach us reality before theory.

For example, they can talk about actual facts and case studies on how young girls and women can find themselves in abusive relationships, where they can be exposed to emotional, physical, psychological, and other kinds of violence. They can also talk about attacks outside of the home and equip us to be prepared.

 
Photo: Globegazette.com

As a teenage Martial Artist growing up in Dubai, I was under the illusion that my coloured belt would protect me. Unfortunately, it didn’t. This is not an easy thing to say as someone who passionately promotes Martial Arts, but I consider it my responsibility to tell people, and especially parents, the truth about self-defence.
 
When I see families in the UAE today, I want to tell them to appreciate the best of what this beautiful country has to offer. It is indeed safer than many other places in the world and we are lucky to have so many opportunities here. At the same time, it isn’t a bubble. It is a place like any other and we need to be aware.
 
Attending a self-defence class with your daughter or friend is a wonderful way to face reality together in a safe, positive and educational setting. It is also an excellent addition to Martial Arts training, and one I recommend to all girls and women training in the Martial Arts.

About the Author 

Claire Higgins is a Martial Artist living in Dubai. She is passionate about people, culture and communications and building bridges of peace and understanding. For more, you can visit her blog Love, Fight, Surrender.