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cleanfreak
Posts 87


21/07/2011 10:54:49
what is it over here with people thinking they have the right to comment on my weight? i have increased a dress size to size 14 (UK) over past 2 months - I know the reasons, I know I need to lose it, but this girl at work tells me every day how I have put on weight. it is so upsetting and actually making me feel worse and EAT MORE!!! no advice needed just a bit of moral support - jokes etc!! thanks





Princess_I
Posts 2454


21/07/2011 10:56:59
Just tell them that you knwo that you have put on weight and that you will loose it, however there is nothing they can do about their stupidity of lack of manners.





natalie8
Posts 902


21/07/2011 10:58:06
Just ignore her or anyone else who does this. In some cultures, it's acceptable for people to shout from across a room 'you're fat!'. If you know your reasons and recognize them, that's what matters. Just become deaf to rude people. My thinking is, just because this is OK in their culture, it's not OK with me and I have no time for people like that.





AriVW
Posts 483


21/07/2011 11:07:06
natalie8 wrote:
Just ignore her or anyone else who does this. In some cultures, it's acceptable for people to shout from across a room 'you're fat!'. If you know your reasons and recognize them, that's what matters. Just become deaf to rude people. My thinking is, just because this is OK in their culture, it's not OK with me and I have no time for people like that.


agree. also, everybody has weaknesses. find hers and spill it out in the crowd. may be she will get a message.





mammamia
Posts 309


21/07/2011 11:09:29
I just went to Talise Spa and a Sri Lankan lady working there took me to the locker room and said "we have also facilities here but you are not allowed to use those because you are pregnant". I really freaked out; I was not asked whether I'm pregnant and I didn't say anything like that, ok the dress I was wearing on that day was maybe not the best option and yes, I've some extra weight around my waist (due to PCOS).

And even if I'd be pregnant, I wound' t understand why I couldn't use facilities; for example if you have never been in sauna it's not good idea to go there for a first time while pregnant but knowing sauna very well I don't see any problem in that.

After the comment I had to ask from where she's coming from and ok, it's again the cultural differences but that's true that Asians are really paying attention to your weight (and giving pregnancy comments) - Westerners wouldn't do that, only good friends can comment your weight but not people you don't know well (even colleague).





mammamia
Posts 309


21/07/2011 11:13:03
AriVW wrote:
natalie8 wrote:
Just ignore her or anyone else who does this. In some cultures, it's acceptable for people to shout from across a room 'you're fat!'. If you know your reasons and recognize them, that's what matters. Just become deaf to rude people. My thinking is, just because this is OK in their culture, it's not OK with me and I have no time for people like that.


agree. also, everybody has weaknesses. find hers and spill it out in the crowd. may be she will get a message.


fully agree!!! for example something like "your skin is looking much darker what it used to be" - but basically why bother; just ignore





sarahloudxb
Posts 338


21/07/2011 11:13:59
I was in a well known clothes shop and asked the assistant for a size 10, she said very loudly madam you will not fit in a 10 i will get you a bigger size. I complained to the management who gave her a telling off in front of the customers. Needless to say i doubt she will ever do that again and thank goodness the size 10 did fit perfectly otherwise i would of been embarrassed! :-)





NOUGATNESS
Posts 331


21/07/2011 11:15:23
Just reply, 'it is easier to get lipo than a lobotomy.' 'I can do something about being fat, what can you do about being ugly?' 'there must be something in the air in the office, cos you're looking a bit tubby too'.

I hadn't told many people at work I was pregnant, one secretary said to me 'you are getting sooooo faaaatt', I replied, 'I am 5 months pregnant what's your excuse?'.

There is just no social filters in some people....





egg
Posts 1510


21/07/2011 11:20:49
I have found its a bit of a culture thing in particular with Filipinos i have come across, i have had the following comments

1) you dont eat a lot of rice so why are you fat
2) you have spots on your face (after returning from a holiday, not you look nice relaxed and tanned but that i have spots)
3) if you drink green tea you will have a se*y body again
4) were you slim when you were younger
5) you should really do some sport to help you get fit
6) is everyone in your family fat
7) you drink soda thats why you are big bellied


Oh lovely, thanks so much for your comments i will take them all on board ha ha

Edited to add the best one, sorry madam we dont do your big size the XL wont fit you

Talk about a confidence boost
edited by egg on 21/07/2011





Water baby
Posts 608


21/07/2011 11:29:17
Some of the other ladies have suggested ignoring your colleague's comments but if she is saying it to you regularly, I would consider having a quiet word with her as it's terrible having to endure this every day! Good luck





cleanfreak
Posts 87


21/07/2011 11:44:49
Water baby wrote:
Some of the other ladies have suggested ignoring your colleague's comments but if she is saying it to you regularly, I would consider having a quiet word with her as it's terrible having to endure this every day! Good luck


Considering trying to ignore past comments, but if she says it again I will have to tell her she is upsetting me, as it is going to affect my enjoyment of work, which I know is a rare thing for anyone to have!

Thanks to everyone else - nice to know I am not the only one!!





Cheeky Monkey
Posts 1605


21/07/2011 11:54:06
I feel your pain cleanfreak, I put on quite a bit of weight after being quite slim and several colleagues made comments (even one bloke who, usually meek and mild, was walking up the steps behid me and so, "Oh my, your bottom's getting really big!" Riiiight. ), but one in particular kept commenting all the time. In the end I just said "I know you probably don't realise, at least I hope you don't, but it's actually really rude to comment on someones weight and quite upsetting, please don't". They were actually quite mortified to have upset me as commenting on someone's weight is quite normal in their culture.





pollydxb
Posts 1424


21/07/2011 12:05:35
I was in designer store in Burjuman (there was a sale) yesterday when I asked the male sales assistant what size an American 6 is, all he answered with was LARGE

When the lady assistant who actually knew what she was doing told me it was a UK 10 I was shocked, so what now a size 10 is large.

Horrified





pollydxb
Posts 1424


21/07/2011 12:06:50
Cheeky Monkey wrote:
commenting on someone's weight is quite normal in their culture.


You are right it is, my cleaner often comments, wow ma'am you've put on weight, apparently it is suppose to be a compliment of good wealth, can afford to eat well - or so I have been told.





Eli1979
Posts 833


21/07/2011 12:11:01
I just quit my job yesterday because my company was bullying me into losing weight. I have a customer service job where I guess the image is important but I was never at an extreme unsafe weight that would hinder me in doing my job. The only reason I did put on weight first of all was because I had a baby a year ago and even thought I worked very hard trying all different diets and exercise the last kgs are just slow to get rid of. They have done monthly progress reviews of me losing the weight and I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be sacked if I didn`t reach their target weight. Now, we are only talking about 4 kgs here and I would have most probably lost it but I have decided to quit. I think no company has the right to treat anyone like that but hey, we are in the ME, they can do whatever they want.





Custard Apple
Posts 834


21/07/2011 12:23:07
Eli1979 wrote:
I just quit my job yesterday because my company was bullying me into losing weight. I have a customer service job where I guess the image is important but I was never at an extreme unsafe weight that would hinder me in doing my job. The only reason I did put on weight first of all was because I had a baby a year ago and even thought I worked very hard trying all different diets and exercise the last kgs are just slow to get rid of. They have done monthly progress reviews of me losing the weight and I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be sacked if I didn`t reach their target weight. Now, we are only talking about 4 kgs here and I would have most probably lost it but I have decided to quit. I think no company has the right to treat anyone like that but hey, we are in the ME, they can do whatever they want.


How absolutely awful, Eli. And presumably totally illegal elsewhere. I can't believe you were subjected to a monthly review and given a 'target' - I can feel steam coming out my ears! Good on you for refusing to take it. I hope you made it very clear why in your resignation letter. This is neanderthal stuff - I have difficulty in assuming men doing the equivalent job are similarly treated.





shellly
Posts 8181


21/07/2011 12:24:06
Eli1979 wrote:
I just quit my job yesterday because my company was bullying me into losing weight. I have a customer service job where I guess the image is important but I was never at an extreme unsafe weight that would hinder me in doing my job. The only reason I did put on weight first of all was because I had a baby a year ago and even thought I worked very hard trying all different diets and exercise the last kgs are just slow to get rid of. They have done monthly progress reviews of me losing the weight and I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be sacked if I didn`t reach their target weight. Now, we are only talking about 4 kgs here and I would have most probably lost it but I have decided to quit. I think no company has the right to treat anyone like that but hey, we are in the ME, they can do whatever they want.


Thats shocking! How dare they bully you to loose weight... and 4kgs is hardly a big change. Which company? We should all boycott it.





mammamia
Posts 309


21/07/2011 12:24:33
Eli1979: funny that some companies even have time for such monthly progress reviews!!! Ok, many companies here also have lots of headcount so they have time to concentrate non-business critical issues.

I'd understand for example if you would be selling weight loss products and would be seriously overweight and the weight wouldn't come down (in fact it would be great to have before and after photo in that profession) but 4kgs is really nothing!

By the way, did they have scale at the office?!?





Eli1979
Posts 833


21/07/2011 12:26:38
Hi Shelly.If I would mention the company's name here , most prob this thread will be deleted, but I think you know the company very well





shellly
Posts 8181


21/07/2011 12:35:25
Absolutely shocking, they should be ashamed of themselves!





JoyceB
Posts 3107


21/07/2011 12:36:52
I would simply say "well I can always lose the weight but you will always be ugly, rude, crosseyed etc" Big Grin I have a 93 year old aunt who is forever commenting on my weight!!





Wild Mint
Posts 628


21/07/2011 12:38:54
egg wrote:
I have found its a bit of a culture thing in particular with Filipinos i have come across, i have had the following comments

1) you dont eat a lot of rice so why are you fat
2) you have spots on your face (after returning from a holiday, not you look nice relaxed and tanned but that i have spots)
3) if you drink green tea you will have a se*y body again
4) were you slim when you were younger
5) you should really do some sport to help you get fit
6) is everyone in your family fat
7) you drink soda thats why you are big bellied


Oh lovely, thanks so much for your comments i will take them all on board ha ha

Edited to add the best one, sorry madam we dont do your big size the XL wont fit you

Talk about a confidence boost
edited by egg on 21/07/2011


I recognize some too, funny!
I can also add that Filipinos often have weird/absurd health-related beliefs. I h`ve been told by two different people that taking multivitamins will make you FAT, seriously.

Latest shopping in Carrefour, i hear whisper in my ear: 'stretch marks cream maaaam'....
Don't sneak up on me like that, i DON`T have stretch marks you silly cow!





NOUGATNESS
Posts 331


21/07/2011 12:45:18
haha - like when my sister was pushing my 11 pound baby in her pram, a shop assistant took one look and handed her a bar of vagina tightening soap......I thought it was excellent proactive customer service....

Was this an airline that was on about the weight? That is a terribel story and another example of the bigotry that would end in penalties on other countries that is allowed here, Just disgusting.





Eli1979
Posts 833


21/07/2011 12:47:14
it has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth as this was my dream job when I came here and have been doing it for the past 7 years .This is certainly not the way I was expecting it to finish..
And to answer the poster who asked, yes, men do get subjected to the same treatment, and sometimes for less weigt than ladies. Let's say it's just a very very image councious company even though they have far bigger issues that alter their image other than the staff's weight





NOUGATNESS
Posts 331


21/07/2011 12:49:41
Eli1979 wrote:
it has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth as this was my dream job when I came here and have been doing it for the past 7 years .This is certainly not the way I was expecting it to finish..
And to answer the poster who asked, yes, men do get subjected to the same treatment, and sometimes for less weigt than ladies. Let's say it's just a very very image councious company even though they have far bigger issues that alter their image other than the staff's weight


I am sorry that it has ended like this, by the sounds of it you will be better off out of there. Is it a local company, because if not, if it has international branches etc, you should register harassment complaint with them - unless it is part of your contract. God, I put on and lose four kilos in a day! Just ridiculous.





everythingnice
Posts 627


21/07/2011 12:51:34
Eli1979 wrote:
Hi Shelly.If I would mention the company's name here , most prob this thread will be deleted, but I think you know the company very well


I think I know this company and if what I'm thinking is right, this thread will most probably be deleted if you name it! Cos I've heard the same story from a friend and I do hope it is the same company otherwise having two companies with that kind of regulation is just sick!





Kim67
Posts 1507


21/07/2011 12:57:48
My son has a genetic condition that can predispose him to weight gain. He's not only a little over weight but very tall for his age. We're really quite strict on him maintaining a healthy diet and active lifestyle. I took him to one of his specialist appointments at one of the major hospitals n Dubai and the Philipino nurse came in to do his height and weight and after she fills in the growth chart, she looks at him and says "You are fat, fatty, fatty, boy".

I just glared at her and leant forward and whispered "how dare you say that to my son, that's not the kind of comment I expect a medical professional to say to a child". She went white and apologised and must have scurried off to the doctor to tell him what she'd done before I got a chance to because he made a big deal about how well he was doing with his weight and exercise when he was examining him.

Some cultures pretend that it's okay to say someone is fat, but in truth they know how rude and nasty they are being.





amalzd
Posts 382


21/07/2011 13:02:10
This is what we need, bullying over kilos!!!! I am really sorry that it is your dream job and you had to let it go, but this is for your best. you have 7 years experience that will help you be anywhere you wish, and if I got that right you have a good experience in a well known place so!!!! let's cross fingers that not all similar companies are **.





Tru Blu
Posts 1896


21/07/2011 13:05:17
egg wrote:
I have found its a bit of a culture thing in particular with Filipinos i have come across, i have had the following comments

1) you dont eat a lot of rice so why are you fat
2) you have spots on your face (after returning from a holiday, not you look nice relaxed and tanned but that i have spots)
3) if you drink green tea you will have a se*y body again
4) were you slim when you were younger
5) you should really do some sport to help you get fit
6) is everyone in your family fat
7) you drink soda thats why you are big bellied


Incredible!!! THe mind boggles Whaaaaa?





S0_IndEcIsiVe
Posts 483


21/07/2011 13:29:02
I too found this really shocking in dubai. I have recently become pregnant and the amount of horrible comments , I couldnt believe. Obviously Im bound to gain weight and get bigger - granted I was with a bump earlier than most like at 3-4mths but it happens , nature for me!!
anyway been told and looked at funny at how BIG i am , but i wish i could tell them to FOOOOOOOOK off! cos for god sake 1. you dont know me that well, 2. whats it to anyone else how much i gain, 3. keep your comments to yourself ... you wouldnt dare tell a heavily obese lady she is fat in her face!! why tell someone who is average weight and gaining ...its like im open to all public abuse here!! lol





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