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My heart goes out to you; there is nothing worse than getting those types of phone calls.
My best friend since 2nd grade had breast cancer while I was away. It is something I still feel guilty about -- not being able to be there. However, I can tell you that today she is leading a more meaningful life, cancer free (over 5 years) and could care less she lost her breast. I am not saying it is easy, but it changes you and, from what I have heard, more for the better. I am so proud of her. I pray it is the same for your mother!