Maid frequently asking for advances | ExpatWoman.com
 

Maid frequently asking for advances

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 13:41

Hello! I've put this up on the Maid's section but I hope you'll forgive me putting it in the Dubai section as well. A friend of mine has a maid who is lovely and does a great job but keeps asking for an advance. it's not a small amount either but AED3000 which is a fair amount and far more than most of us have just hanging around to lend to anyone. She says it is for her father's hospital bills. This maid has worked for my friend for about 2 months and is perfect in all ways except for the requests for advances. I'm very lucky as my maid has never asked for one but when I was asked for advice I took a firm line and said she should say no and make it clear that such requests are unacceptable. Am I right? What if the maid's father really is ill and this money would make all the difference? Advice please!

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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 12:57
Another point which someone made to me, which helped me feel less guilty about refusing, is that if she was working in a beauty spa, supermarket, hairdresser, hospital etc. she would just have to make her salary work for her, there would be no option to ask the 'boss' for a loan or a salary advance. Thousands of immigrant workers don't have access to monthly loans/advances and they survive.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 12:49
Absolutely no way have I given her all that ! Although I did give her the 7k (foolishly), and a few others here and there. I don't mind if it is an advance of a week or two on her salary, but it was never ending requests, and then it just snowballs out of control. The uniform 'loan' was too funny, as I was buying a uniform in Zaks at the same time and it was a fraction of what she was asking for, when I pointed this out to her she said it included uniforms, school meals, bus etc. Anyway, that was the final straw and she has not asked in the past few months, I let her know that I absolutely could not stand that she was taking me for an idiot. I do feel for her though, she does not spend a penny on herself, everything she earns, salary, extras, bonus all go back to the Philippines and I am sure her husband is living like a king on the back of her hardship of being separated from her children.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 12:32
NO WAY NO HOW. ABSOLUTELY, NO, NO, NO. As other posters have suggested - it doesn't matter if you are in the position to give the money - the point is that it is being taken advantage of. How many rich people have we all met in our lives and have asked for money just because they can afford it? Next time I see someone roll up in a Lamborghini, I'll get them to loan me some money because they obviously can afford it - Is this how we are supposed to conduct ourselves? Besides that - even if you are willing to put up the money - the miraculous cures when asking for the bills is laughable.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 11:16
No I dont give advances and especially not to somone who has only been with me for 2 months.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 10:59
Money is a big deal. So you need to consider all the options before handing someone money. Can she repay it? Does she have a plan to repay it? For example, if she has financial obligations that she needs to meet every month, how is she going to repay the loan? This would be the kind of questions I would ask her. I am sure that everyone needs money at some point in their life. But there are certain stories that seem to be going around with all people. All security people in my building asked for money as they had a father in the hospital. They even had the same photo printed from the internet showing a sick man in the hospital. It was somehow hillarious that they did not even talk among themselves which guard is going to approach which tenant! So different guards approached me with the same photo and story! lol Trust your gut!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 10:26
Every race has its own "black sheep". And I stand firmly, no matter what your origin is/where you came from/what you've been going through in life, you still have no right to deceive/mistreat/hurt/abuse anyone. Though standards differ from one country to another, yet the basic concept of good/evil is almost the same. Peace:) Well said Eunice, we all forget that we are Humans first and irrespective of countries or class we have to do our part to continue living in this world and escaping from work or trying to deceive is a straight no no even if your working with an organization.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 December 2012 - 01:08
Its nice to have phillipino's reply and tell us what the phillipines are really like too often - a few bad experiences with oppurtunitistic / just plain dumb ppl - make ppl assume all philipinos are the same. Their are allot of smart and intelligent phllipino's with good values in the UAE - and it is sad that they are discriminated against simply because more people from their country work as maids Every race has its own "black sheep". And I stand firmly, no matter what your origin is/where you came from/what you've been going through in life, you still have no right to deceive/mistreat/hurt/abuse anyone. Though standards differ from one country to another, yet the basic concept of good/evil is almost the same. Peace:)
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 22:14
Loans: just say no.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 20:28
Its nice to have phillipino's reply and tell us what the phillipines are really like too often - a few bad experiences with oppurtunitistic / just plain dumb ppl - make ppl assume all philipinos are the same. Their are allot of smart and intelligent phllipino's with good values in the UAE - and it is sad that they are discriminated against simply because more people from their country work as maids
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 20:11
I understand the Phillipines has an exellent health care system. The gals usually wait for their yearly trip home to do their medicals as health care is free for the citizens.. Its not free but it is very cheap. Defnitely not the thousands that the maids in Dubai are asking. Also the medical standards and education is not up to par with western standards. They only go to school for 10 years and graduate when they are 16. To become a medical doctor you only study 4 years (where as in western countries it takes about 7 years),so they can be 'medical doctors' when they turn just 20 years old. I'm sorry to correct you with this! Education in Philippines comprises the following: 1yr- kindergarten 6yrs- primary education 4yrs- junior high school 2yrs- senior high school 4-5yrs- college 4 yrs- additional for MD Concurring with Eunice here. Before one goes to Med School, they have to take pre-med (4 years). Med School another 4 years. Then of course you have residency.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 20:06
Mum2girls?? 19,000 aed?! have you given her all that? :\: School uniforms, 1,000 aed????? :\: :\: I am just as shocked! Mum2girls, I am a Filipino and have family back in the Philippines. I have 4 nephews there and their uniforms definitely do NOT cost AED1000. How many kids are there that your maid needs AED 1000? As for healthcare costs, it really all depends on where they go to get care. The government hospitals are relatively inexpensive. Of course the bills are a lot higher if they go to a private hospital. <em>edited by mumto2 on 02/12/2012</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:52
I understand the Phillipines has an exellent health care system. The gals usually wait for their yearly trip home to do their medicals as health care is free for the citizens.. Its not free but it is very cheap. Defnitely not the thousands that the maids in Dubai are asking. Also the medical standards and education is not up to par with western standards. They only go to school for 10 years and graduate when they are 16. To become a medical doctor you only study 4 years (where as in western countries it takes about 7 years),so they can be 'medical doctors' when they turn just 20 years old. I'm sorry to correct you with this! Education in Philippines comprises the following: 1yr- kindergarten 6yrs- primary education 4yrs- junior high school 2yrs- senior high school 4-5yrs- college 4 yrs- additional for MD
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:40
I understand the Phillipines has an exellent health care system. The gals usually wait for their yearly trip home to do their medicals as health care is free for the citizens.. Its not free but it is very cheap. Defnitely not the thousands that the maids in Dubai are asking. Also the medical standards and education is not up to par with western standards. They only go to school for 10 years and graduate when they are 16. To become a medical doctor you only study 4 years (where as in western countries it takes about 7 years),so they can be 'medical doctors' when they turn just 20 years old. <em>edited by Appletiser on 02/12/2012</em>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:35
In case like this, I personally appreciate employer who makes effort to verify the real story, instead of straightly saying "NO". It simply means, he/she cares for the maid's welfare. But for me, if it's the first time, I would maybe give 50%(at most) of what she requested. The next times, whether it's true or just an alibi, I preferred to say "NO". Not because I don't want to help but I want to teach the maid's relatives not to "totally" depend to her financially. The maid's salary is just so little and if everyone is asking a part/whole/more than of it, what will happen to the maid herself after her contract? I am also a Filipino and I witnessed how this "sick thing" kills OFW(Overseas Filipino Workers). My last update with our Health Benefits, it's 50% off of the total bills. There are also outpatient medications that can be bought on a discounted price.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:34
Mum2girls?? 19,000 aed?! have you given her all that? :\: School uniforms, 1,000 aed????? :\: :\:
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:30
I understand the Phillipines has an exellent health care system. The gals usually wait for their yearly trip home to do their medicals as health care is free for the citizens..
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 19:07
It's common practice for maids to ask for loans, advances. It's amazing how quick they get on the bandwagon, ours was 3 months on the job before the sob stories started and then they came fast and furious. In 18 months, we have had requests for loans/advances for Hospital bill for husband 7,000 AED 2nd Hospital bill for husband 2,000 AED Hospital bill for mother with broken arm, 2,000 AED Hospital bill for nephew with broken leg 2,000 AED Hospital bill for brother after car accident 1,000 AED Farm after floods 1,500 AED House was robbed 2,500 AED School uniform for kids 1000 AED Plus there are more which I have forgotten I am sure ! I detest it, but I just found it so hard to say 'NO' as I actually can afford to give her the advance, but I hate being taken for granted ! Some people don't mind advancing salary, my friend has no problem with it, but it bugs the life out of me. If it's going to bother your friend, than tell her not to loan it, maybe your friend may decided to loan a percentage of it but not all, she could then tell the maid to never ever ask again. <em>edited by mum2girls on 02/12/2012</em>
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EW GURU
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 18:50
The first time this happened to me I said I would help and that Iwould call the hospital directly. She offered to show me a bill and I again said no I will call and deal with the hospital directly. Well saints be upon us her Father did a complete 360 by the next morning and was discharged. Next it was her nephew with autisim. My lesson being that once they think you are willing it does not stop AND a fake bill is not unlikely. I decided to call her previous employeer (for many other reasons) before her probation was up. Seems this Father, nephew and so on has been in and out of the hospital and even died a few times. It was the first time I had any type of dealings with a maid. The man who ran the agency even said to me (which I now say on here)-"Mam-do you ask all your bosses before for loans and support for your family?! Why would this be ok?!"
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 18:34
Does anyone know what the healthcare system for citizens in the Philippines is actually like? From the article below it sounds like there is a free public system although it's not great. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/expathealth/9195995/Expat-guide-to-the-Philippines-health-care.html If maid's stories here are to be believed then do fee paying hospitals really take so many patients without means to pay with the line 'my daughter/mother/aunt/cousin in Dubai will send the cash'?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 18:13
This happened once to us. Once we gathered the money and then requested pretty much the same items that SueB suggested below before handing over the donation, suddenly the "sick sister" in the hospital was miraculously cured and all bills paid up. Not saying this is always the case, but best to be cautious on this one.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 17:27
if you decide to go the lending route, I would ask her some questions first. 1. Is the bill outstanding at the hospital, or, so you must pay the bill AT the hospital. In other words someone else has not paid the bill and she would be paying someone else back. 2. Produce the bill as Oopsidaisy suggests. If the bill cannot be produced ask her to call or write the hospital and have one sent to you or have a family member get a copy. Actually, the original would be the perfect one :) 3. Find someone to translate the bill to make sure it is for her father and is actually a hospital bill for 3,000. 4. If all this looks good then tell her that you (or your friend rather) will be more than happy to help her and to save time you will send the money immediately TO THE HOSPITAL so the fathers bill can be cleared. Now wait and see what happens. If she says great then good, pay the bill....if she hedges and says you must give her the money because someone else has paid the bill and you must pay her then.....I might not do this. just my thought.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 17:12
I fully agree with other posters, one should make it clear from the beginning that no advances will be granted. HOWEVER: In some cases there are indeed hospital bills to be paid. Fact is that the maids are expected to help their families out, thus, if you decide not to give an advance they are very likely to go to one of the many loansharks that operate illegally in their community. They will then have to pay large sums of interest, which in the end will lead to even larger debts (and as her sponsor it will always come back to haunt you). So the practical thing to do, at least for me, would be to ask for a copy of the hospital bill. Depending of the amount to be paid, set up a scheme to deduct x amount from their monthly salary, preferably for a maximum of 3 months. Keep in mind that while living in your house they can really make do with a very small monthly amount, if live-out they will need more (but are likely to earn more as well). Yes, I have done this with my maid who at that time was working for me 4 months. She paid it all back and is still with me. She has even asked me to keep deducting a part of her salary and keep it as her savings (apparently when she doesn't have acces to it she can say no to her family, whereas if she keeps it herself she is likely to send it home, thus not being able to save it for her (and her children's) own future).
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EW GURU
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 16:44
I would nip this in the bud immediately and warn her to never ask again! Have seen and heard about this so many times and it's rarely true. Sorry if it sounds harsh but I believe your friend is opening herself up to a whole heap of trouble. ETA... [i'>if [/i'>of course she is telling the truth, I would ask for copies of the bill. I would then call the hospital personally to check their authenticity. If all adds up, then I would look at ways to assist with her request if possible. But I would not be taking her word for it. <em>edited by coffee_mate on 02/12/2012</em>
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 16:14
If your friend is giving her a loan then she should take it out of her salary each month until it is paid back in full.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 16:03
and she is likely involved in using this money to give loans to others..
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 14:28
Maid shouldnt be asking for advances whilst she is still on probation anyways (first 6 months). Once you start you just dig yourself deeper and if you read the maid threads you would know they always have 'hospital bills' or 'someone who died'. Dont fall for it. Very true. The next request from this maid will be for money and a ticket home for her father's funeral. It sounds like she is confusing her employers with an ATM.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 14:21
Maid shouldnt be asking for advances whilst she is still on probation anyways (first 6 months). Once you start you just dig yourself deeper and if you read the maid threads you would know they always have 'hospital bills' or 'someone who died'. Dont fall for it.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 14:18
No way. Unless the maid has a very large salary how does she expect to pay back the 3000 out of her future salary? Also, if she is asking for that much this soon, the requests are only going to get worse. I make quite clear in the initial interview with a maid that I don't give advances and not to ask, it saves a lot of headaches.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 13:49
Let me start by saying I don't have a maid, so I'm not that familiar with what is and isn't common. However, since the maid in question has only been with your friend for a few months, I wouldn't just give her that kind of money without seeing some proof that it will actually go to her father's hospital bills. Can she show your friend these bills? Perhaps she could even request to wire the money directly to the hospital to go towards the father's bills? If she can't show any sort of evidence that her father is indeed ill I'd refuse. Sounds too much like she's trying to take your friend for a ride.
 
 

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