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204

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 December 2012 - 06:31

Go to the "Dealing With the In-laws and FOO (Family of Origin)" group at babycenter.com you will get to read a ton of stories! What I have learned from there is that in most cases, a MIL is a problem because the wife's husband won't admonish his mother (including giving consequences) for her antics toward his wife. One shocking story I read was an exclusively breast-feeding mother was bugged by her MIL about switching the baby to formula so she could feed her. The woman refused as she wanted her baby to only have breast milk. One visit to her MIL's house, the MIL locked herself in her bedroom and was formula feeding the baby (meaning she had to have went and bought formula and pre-planned this) because "I am the grandmother and deserve to feed my grandchild". The couple actually had to take the hinges/screws off of the door to get in and get their baby back. But there are more horrifying stories over there! <em>edited by Abaddon on 10/12/2012</em>

452

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 10 December 2012 - 02:08

I was blessed with a wonderful MIL. We had several topics upon which we agreed to disagree but we enjoyed the arguments we had - one mind against another but there was never the thought that one was better than the other - we both agreed that we each had valid arguments. Edited to add that upon her death DH's brothers had a massive fall out and haven't spoken since - pathetic. <em>edited by debliz on 10/12/2012</em>

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 10 December 2012 - 01:52

About a month before my MIL died (we reckoned she was ill then but showed no sign and said nothing!) we were sitting in our conservatory having had dinner and she started going on about her will and the fact that she had all her effects up to date and so on. My DH was getting a bit upset and told her to stop being so morbid! When he left the room to refresh our drinks, she turned to me and showed me a beautiful ring on her right hand. She told me that she was given this ring by her MIL's sister, after her MIL's death saying that it had to stay in the family and was to be given to each Bell (my married name) DIL. I am now the proud owner of a gorgeous ruby and diamond ring. As I said before, my MIL did rattle my cage from time to time but I did value her words of wisdom and cherry picked as I saw fit. I was so blessed with my second mum and miss her so much. Those MILs who try to dominate and undermine their children's OHs do so much damage and only miss out on what could be such a wonderful relationship with their child's life partner.

271

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 December 2012 - 01:00

My MIL and her daughters made major changes in my wedding. Things like modifying dresses, changing music, adding paragraphs... WITHOUT INFORMING ME nor my husband. Although this happened many years ago, i still cant forgive her. My MIL takes every chance to say how i cant raise my kids, whom, by the word of their teachers are "the most polite children they have ever taught". A lot of negative feelings..

25

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 December 2012 - 00:01

If I wrote about my MIL you'd all go running to give your MIL's a big bear hug! Its a shame she is so mean because she's pushed her away her son. I have to force DH to call her. He hardly ever speaks to her and we wonder what we would tell DS when he grows up as there isnt much nice things to say.

44

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 23:21

When I got married my DH's parents had both remarried long ago (they separated when he was 4), I therefore got the joy of 2 MIL's in one go.... and as you can imagine they did not like each other much. The 1st wife hated the second for stealing her husband even though she had been happily married for 20 years since, and the second never quite got rid of the chip on her shoulder about being a second wife even though she had been happily married for 20 yrs. Upshot was when we got married and invited mum and step dad as well as dad and step mum we kinda of knew it might cause problems but had hoped they would get over it and act like adults. If it had not been for all of my husbands siblings from both marriages at the wedding I think it would have descended into anarchy, they all ran interference to keep the peace in the hope that I was oblivious on the day. I wasnt but I will always be grateful for their efforts. Sad to think that 20 years on, the resentment was still very much alive and kicking. As you can imagine we never see either set of parents at the same time now unless marriage or funeral and quite frankly I am glad. The siblings from both marriages...well they all get together as often as possible and enjoy being family. In my first day of marriage I had seen enough of both of them.

149

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 23:01

On the day my MIL arrived in dxb from a long flight from nz, I had my wisdom teeth removed and was in a lot of pain. I arrived home to my MIL having severe swelling all over her face and body. Eyes almost swollen shut. When I saw her, I asked her if I could pls take her to the dr, as I was worried about her and she looked terrible. She said no, I insisted, she refused. Dh gets home minutes later and sees his mother and asks to take her to the dr, she agrees and says she thinks its a good idea. As if I never asked her....

2937

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 22:09

My MIL rocked up for a holiday when I was 8 months pregnant with DS, complete with a list as long as her arm of what she wanted to do while she was here. Bus tours, souqs, water parks, dinners, fountains, Hajar mountains, the works. She also rocked up for a holiday when I was 8 months pregnant with DD, complete with another equally long list, same again. Funnily enough, both my children arrived early as I was ill...

2584

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 20:41

OMG! Mrs b!!!! :\:

105

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 20:38

My MIL sent me a 40th birthday card when I was turning 38!! But overall she's a good lady!

271

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:19

Goodness KB100....you are awesome to cope with that type of MIL...well done girl,you are a star!BRAVEST!

207

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:03

Worse than annoying MIL are annoying needy SIL At least MIL can be credited with raising a man worthy of marriage and your love SIL on the other hand - I just don't know Mine decided to visit me when my second child was born - but instead of pampering the kids and occupying no1, she spent her time shopping for her kids (with me driving her around and the 2 little babies in tow ), or re-arranging my house, she's short - so most of the kitchen items were placed in low cupboards, I'm tall so bending after a c-section was not fun! And her reasoning - she's finicky like that, so instead of relaxing and catching up on sleep I had a SIL who kept me up while she re-arranged my house - and now she is always telling on bb how tough their life is financially (but i think lots of dxb. expats of "family" like that tho so if you have a nice set of "in-laws" treasure them! Agreed. My MIL is a saint. SIL however. Ewwwww.

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 12:57

I too had my moments with my MIL who passed away last July. On the whole she was great, a caring mum, MIL and wonderful grandma to her 3 grandchildren. Seeing my 6 foot 29 DS sob at her bedside when she died broke my heart. I feel so sorry for you ladies who had/have nightmare MILs, mine was a wee diamond and I miss her and my gem of a FIL so much. Just hope that I am half the MIL to my SIL.

199

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 12:49

Worse than annoying MIL are annoying needy SIL At least MIL can be credited with raising a man worthy of marriage and your love SIL on the other hand - I just don't know Mine decided to visit me when my second child was born - but instead of pampering the kids and occupying no1, she spent her time shopping for her kids (with me driving her around and the 2 little babies in tow ), or re-arranging my house, she's short - so most of the kitchen items were placed in low cupboards, I'm tall so bending after a c-section was not fun! And her reasoning - she's finicky like that, so instead of relaxing and catching up on sleep I had a SIL who kept me up while she re-arranged my house - and now she is always telling on bb how tough their life is financially (but i think lots of dxb. expats of "family" like that tho so if you have a nice set of "in-laws" treasure them!

111

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 12:15

Me too - I am really lucky, my MIL is great :)

2287

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 12:09

My MIL is quite nice, and really likes me. She does however have a couple of habits that drive me wild. However after reading your posts, as well as another one that was removed overnight (you know who you are, I feel very sorry for you!!!) I have vowed never to complain again.

181

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 11:39

I knew from the day of our wedding what I was in for, my mother in law took half of our wedding guests from our reception home to her house for drinks and a meal! She didn't say a word about her plans beforehand. On the day my daughter was christened she turned up twenty minutes late and afterwards wouldn't let anyone else touch my daughter then when my son was born she told my mum how disappointed my husband would be on not having another daughter!! She always wanted a girl and only had sons. Since then everything has gone from bad to worse, she doesn't like me because I won't bend to what she wants. Her sister in law told me last summer that my mother in law told her she despises me. That's fine by me, I knew before but it was a bit of a shock to be told by another member of the family. I am so grateful I no longer have to suffer Christmas with her.

271

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 11:29

Had a MIL who caused me many sleepless nights,being so offended by her behavior,while she was sleeping soundly! Then one day decided that while I wear away,she is thriving and eventually started to be only polite and loving as far as I possibly can and see that she will NOT get between hubby and me...she eventually backed off...it was not easy though! She nearly ruined my life!

2192

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 11:21

ha ha ! whenever i see my mother in law she hugs me and prods me .. either on my bum or hip or arm and says .. Dear you still havnt lost the baby weight 8 years on ! :\:

1575

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 11:11

Pity please. I have two. One is bonkers and a pathological liar,the other is off the Richter scale with her offensiveness, judgmentalness and thoroughly unpleasant presence. I must have done something bad in a past life! The 2nd one sounds like mine. And she wonders why I never tell her anything!

654

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 10:54

Pity please. I have two. One is bonkers and a pathological liar,the other is off the Richter scale with her offensiveness, judgmentalness and thoroughly unpleasant presence. I must have done something bad in a past life!

1575

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 10:30

I want to write a few stories about my MIL but I just don't have the energy. We had a huge blow up this summer and I haven't spoken to her since, nor will I until she comes down from her perch and aplogises.

2171

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 09:58

I didn't have a great relationship with my MIL, and have a few stories that would make you laugh/cringe which I've told in a previous similar thread, but since she passed away just after last Christmas I'll let them (and her) RIP! Countdown to FIL's arrival...... And note to self: be a good MIL when the time comes! Though having DDs and not DS's I think that (possibly??) is easier??

3376

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 09:33

Wow, I do not envy all the ladies here with monster-in-laws :( My relationship with my MIL is fine, but I did have to warn DH that his MIL is a bit nutty. Luckily for him, I am the focus of her disapproval and antics. ETA: Stardust, you are leaving us hanging! <em>edited by Beebers on 09/12/2012</em>

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 08:17

Wow mrsb. that's awful:( Note to myself: Make sure potential MIL is decent before deciding to marry her son! I think Maroosh is right - check out the MIL before marriage. also check out potential husband - does he have a spine???????

1848

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 08:11

My MIL was awful in the beginning of our marriage (making up stories about me and gossiping about me to others) however my DH went to her and put his foot down. Told her that I'm his wife and she must respect that and he will not tolerate anyone putting me down or doing anything negative towards me. I have never had a problem since in fact we get along fantastically now and its been a few years already. Too many spineless husbands out there who should be sticking up for their wives... <em>edited by Asti on 09/12/2012</em>

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 08:10

Wow mrsb. that's awful:( Note to myself: Make sure potential MIL is decent before deciding to marry her son!

Anonymous (not verified)

0

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 08:07

I have experienced both ends of the spectrum: MIL#1 was the Motherinlaw from ****!!!!! She did envy thing to break her son and me up - she never left us alone, even when we were abroad on vacation - calls constantly, complaining about me - my cooking, housekeeping, child raising, money management, fashion style - you name it and she complained about it. She gave everything to my eldt son and. Nothing to my second son as she "only wanted one child". apparently, therefore, that s all I was to have. She had a key to our home and she would come every day and take my husband's washing and do it and bring it back, of course, leaving mine and our children's for me to do. While ther, she would drop off his dinner - a plate of food for one to be nested upon his arrival home. Of course, nothing for me or our children. I could go on and on. Finally, when out to dinner one night, she brout up the topic of divorce and informed me, mid mouthful, that "they" were divorcing me and tht papers would arrive for me soon. I was to vacate our home within the week. My weak husband never said a word. She continued to harass me even after divorce and succeed in bribing my eldest son to go and live with her leaving the other son with me as he was "not wanted". And it continued until the day she passed away, about 3 months ago. Even tried to destroy second marriage but luckily my DH2 was not interested in horror stories about my lack of ability. MIL#2 is an Angel. She is sweet and loving and would give me the clothes off her back should I request them. She is sooooooooo sweet and nice, I can't do enough for her. I look forward to her visits and love her company. There are some great MILs out there.

1337

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 07:23

Am already rather worried about someone very close to me and who she's going to have to contend with very soon. She is as well, but feels she'll be able for the person. Im not so sure. I dont think they sell brave knickers in the size she'll need. I hope the person she is doing it for is going to support her when the time comes. I've no worries about that if the other day was anything to go by. Some people really are there own worse enemies. AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <em>edited by DesertRose1958 on 09/12/2012</em>

1337

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 00:57

Am already rather worried about someone very close to me and who she's going to have to contend with very soon. She is as well, but feels she'll be able for the person. Im not so sure. I dont think they sell brave knickers in the size she'll need.

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