Getting the Guilt Trip

Hiya Ladies,

A while ago I posted a thread asking you ladies what the procedure and your experiences were having a baby here. At the time i was still deciding if i should stay or not. I have now decided that it makes sense for us to stay her for a number of reasons.

We have told our families and surprisingly my in laws were okay with it and have decided to fly out here on Saturday for a week (not sure if they plan to give me the third degree when they arrive, but for now they have accepted it) I was feeling more relaxed about my own family as I thought i would get the support from them but for the past two days I have had a non stop row with my older brother.

He has told me that he misses us and wants to see his niece...which i totally understand, but the pressure has been unreal and deep down i have felt there was an alternative reason for this. In the end I found out he wants me to meet his girlfriend. Cutting a long story short, hes been with this girl for 6 months, he is intending of marrying her and will live with the rest of our family. Everyone at home was taken back as this decision was made so quickly. one minute hes getting to know her the next minute hes talking about marriage. He has made everyone uncomfortable with the situation at home by forcing everyone to meet her, its come to the point that our younger sister doesn't even like to come home after work and shops around oxford street to kill time (shes not the shopper type) all this because of the non stop bickering that is happening at home. This was one of many reasons why i didn't want to head back whilst i'm pregnant and with a 15 month old toddler.

In the end i have been told that i am being selfish, live in my own bubble and show no interest in the family. Which is totally not the case. My first child was born there and it was the worst experience of my life. Everyone has told me so many good things about the birth here and as I feel more prepared and we have a routine here it seems like the best decision is to stay. Not to mention my hubs may miss the birth if I do go back. Its like no one is ready to accept that this is my home now.

No one understands where i am coming from and the two day bickering over whatapp has given me an insight of what it probably will be like when i'm there for god knows how long...no wonder my sister doesn't enjoy coming home straight away.

I really don't know what to say to them any more...its so stressful and it feels like i'm going to be just as stressed no matter where i decide to stay. Am i really wrong for not wanting to go back!!!