Why do parents cheat?

looool ;)

You just want him to gangham-style when he wins, right? ;)

yeah me too but i looooove Mr Gayle so i always want him to win ;)

Ha ha! I don't blame you. I want to see the BEST teams -- from this particular comp' -- go through. I've been stunned and amazed at some of the performances [there really has been some great cricket on display'> but I'm not *quite* sure the Windies have the ability to go all the way, despite Gayle's fireworks. Whatever happens: I'll be watching. And loving it. :) . <em>edited by LadyBee on 31/03/2014</em>

Oh I love Mickey Mouse Jim Jam Cricket.... Am hoping Chris's boys go through.... I think they need to beat Pak thou..... lets see ;) Sorry Dolley :)

LadyBee - if felt for you last night :( Ohhhh we were PANTS last night, Izzy. All I can say is: we nabbed the Ashes, beat the Saffers, and it was the end of a very long busy summer. Not having Mitch DID hurt [I know he's not the king of spin and all, but even his presence would have given a boost, I reckon!'> ... but truly: the boys need a break. A holiday, if you will. I'm taking it on the chin; we didn't deserve to go through. England, on the other hand -- while in the same boat -- were completely ROBBED in some of those dodgy decisions ... I do hope questions are raised there. Because you guys could have really moved forward if dead-set catches weren't overturned by TV umpires!!! Grrr on your behalf. ;) I'll be watching -- and enjoying -- the remainder of the Mickey Mouse contest, but I'm still dirty about portions of it! :D

Apropos of the football mentality ... a little story. I have friends with sons playing a multitude of sports in UK (from rugby to cricket to football to athletics) and we were chatting about a year ago about how behaviour -- from both parents and children -- changes depending on the sport. The rugby v football example is probably the best one, though cricket and rugby do share a similar mindset ... Anyway, what absolutely astonished the parents with whom I am friends, was that these children could be playing football one week, rugby the next, and their behaviour and attitude on the pitch was completely different depending on the code. In football? Children were yelling, screaming, swearing, taking dives, questioning the ref' and in fact, doing everything to mimic their heroes in the premiership leagues. Their parents were doing similar; it was almost as if what they saw on the television made it 'okay' to do in an under-11s social game. They yelled, they swore, they were aggressive ... they were, literally, mimicking the behaviour of their alleged football idols. In the next week -- when rugby was the 'sport of choice' -- these VERY SAME CHILDREN behaved like different beings altogether. Any reprimand from the ref was accepted with a 'Yes, sir' and bad behaviour/swearing/dirty play resulted in being sent off to the bin to 'cool off' or a sending-off [red card'> altogether. But that just didn't happen, because on a rugby pitch, respect for the ref -- and as a consequence, respect for the game itself -- was king. Parents on the sidelines were spirited but accepted whatever decision was made. There was no aggression, no swearing, no interfering; both players and parents accepted what was happening and a loss was a loss and considered to be a learning experience. I think making the behaviour of parents on the sidelines a topic of discussion is an interesting one, but to my mind, it's less about the cultural leanings of a particular race or people, but is more down to the dynamics of the sport itself. Don't (necessarily) attack parents OR children when they behave 'out of order'; look to the sport and the way it's played in the big leagues and the way THEIR players behave in big games, and THEN realise -- in my humble opinion -- how the drip-down effect taints so many keen young sportspeople. If you don't teach your children to be polite and play fair and accept losses on the chin and all that other stuff, then there are bound to be issues. That goes for parents AND children. And people would do well to look to the codes of sport which observe those sorts of niceties rather than those which celebrate winning -- and cheating and diving and behaving like numpties -- at all costs. Summed it up excellently (I green thumbed it as well :-)

LadyBee - if felt for you last night :(

Having regularly watched teams of young boys playing football and witnessed the responses of their parents, I can say that cultural differences is not the reason, its the individual personalities of the parents. Some people unfortunately have naturally 'bullish behaviour'. They just think that they and theirs have the right to own/get/win/take/ cheat for whatever is up for grabs. You can pick them out a mile away. Sadly their kids think this is normal, and it gets perpetuated!! Apropos of the football mentality ... a little story. I have friends with sons playing a multitude of sports in UK (from rugby to cricket to football to athletics) and we were chatting about a year ago about how behaviour -- from both parents and children -- changes depending on the sport. The rugby v football example is probably the best one, though cricket and rugby do share a similar mindset ... Anyway, what absolutely astonished the parents with whom I am friends, was that these children could be playing football one week, rugby the next, and their behaviour and attitude on the pitch was completely different depending on the code. In football? Children were yelling, screaming, swearing, taking dives, questioning the ref' and in fact, doing everything to mimic their heroes in the premiership leagues. Their parents were doing similar; it was almost as if what they saw on the television made it 'okay' to do in an under-11s social game. They yelled, they swore, they were aggressive ... they were, literally, mimicking the behaviour of their alleged football idols. In the next week -- when rugby was the 'sport of choice' -- these VERY SAME CHILDREN behaved like different beings altogether. Any reprimand from the ref was accepted with a 'Yes, sir' and bad behaviour/swearing/dirty play resulted in being sent off to the bin to 'cool off' or a sending-off [red card'> altogether. But that just didn't happen, because on a rugby pitch, respect for the ref -- and as a consequence, respect for the game itself -- was king. Parents on the sidelines were spirited but accepted whatever decision was made. There was no aggression, no swearing, no interfering; both players and parents accepted what was happening and a loss was a loss and considered to be a learning experience. I think making the behaviour of parents on the sidelines a topic of discussion is an interesting one, but to my mind, it's less about the cultural leanings of a particular race or people, but is more down to the dynamics of the sport itself. Don't (necessarily) attack parents OR children when they behave 'out of order'; look to the sport and the way it's played in the big leagues and the way THEIR players behave in big games, and THEN realise -- in my humble opinion -- how the drip-down effect taints so many keen young sportspeople. If you don't teach your children to be polite and play fair and accept losses on the chin and all that other stuff, then there are bound to be issues. That goes for parents AND children. And people would do well to look to the codes of sport which observe those sorts of niceties rather than those which celebrate winning -- and cheating and diving and behaving like numpties -- at all costs.

Some parents do cheat. They cheat themselves and they cheat their children when they actively teach them to do everything they can to what they think is 'getting ahead'. They teach by example (doing it themselves) or by turning a blind eye when they witness their child displaying less than stellar behavior. It makes me wonder if I should talk more to my child about what to do when getting pushed out of a line than about waiting in one. But what to do? edited by Redrec Tangle on 31/03/2014 Absolutely agree ( and I have used the 'like' button too!) as you say many parents even see cheating as something to be praised rather than a bad trait. I was queuing for petrol yesterday in a very long line and a lady drove in on the exit side of the pumps in the adjacent queue to me, reversed to the pump in front of everyone waiting , stuck her hand out of the window and snapped her fingers at the attendant and he served her! You can only teach your child to have good manners and to politely stand his ground when someone pushes in front of him.

Some parents do cheat. They cheat themselves and they cheat their children when they actively teach them to do everything they can to what they think is 'getting ahead'. They teach by example (doing it themselves) or by turning a blind eye when they witness their child displaying less than stellar behavior. It makes me wonder if I should talk more to my child about what to do when getting pushed out of a line than about waiting in one. But what to do? <em>edited by Redrec Tangle on 31/03/2014</em>

Do you not also think that many children are not taught the concept of playing fairly? I play in a squash league and i notice it with those of a younger generation and with those of different nationalities....

Couldn't agree more with everything you've said, GMKSME. Asking a deliberately provocative "question" then feigning dismay and shock when people happen to take it in exactly the inflammatory way you intended.

When I said is it cultural, I simply meant that in some cultures, winning and particularly winning at particular sports means more than to others. But I personally think AmyA is closest to the answer. Well it depends on the sport really? Also what do you mean by cheating? Losing teams often jump on the *they cheated* bandwagon. Winning at sport is a whole different topic to cheating.

I would be interested in finding out why DM has posted this thread. I do feel certain cultures conceptualize cheating differently.

Having regularly watched teams of young boys playing football and witnessed the responses of their parents, I can say that cultural differences is not the reason, its the individual personalities of the parents. Some people unfortunately have naturally 'bullish behaviour'. They just think that they and theirs have the right to own/get/win/take/ cheat for whatever is up for grabs. You can pick them out a mile away. Sadly their kids think this is normal, and it gets perpetuated!!

OK, let me reiterate for the last time............recognising cultural difference does NOT equate to negative prejudice. I am sorry if you have found that elsewhere, but you will not find it on this very multicultural forum, so please stop looking for it here.

Recognising cultural differences is not the same as prejudice. I am sorry if you have experienced the latter. It is easy to infer from her text that she is imparting some prejudicial sentiments which is, I'm sure you can agree, unfair judgment to lay on an entire culture. Whether it was intentional or not. I'm not villainizing her, in fact I sympathize when I said I've been through it and have both stood by and also in cases stood up and said something. To ask if it's cultural might start people piping in, "Oh yes, I've lived in xxxxx country and they always cheat." Then it steamrolls. What if it was: "Why don't parents buckle their children up? Is it cultural? Do they have a psychological problem?" Immediately most of us would probably think about Arab families because they are always the ones pointed out as not buckling up here in Dubai. Well to be truthful, I've seen just as many East Asian, South Asian and Eastern European families doing the same thing. And I know Lesley Cully has said the exact same thing before as well. But that's what prejudicial statements do, they create this picture in our heads that some people's actions are representative of all people of that culture. That's wrong and distasteful.

Recognising cultural differences is not the same as prejudice. I am sorry if you have experienced the latter. One of the biggest cultural differences I experienced when leaving my ' home country ' was the lack of queuing.....yes I know a can of worms.... I come from a background where life entailed queuing ( boarding school etc ) and waiting your turn.Drove me nuts initially but after 30 odd years you just go with the flow......;) <em>edited by Nomad on 30/03/2014</em>

Recognising cultural differences is not the same as prejudice. I am sorry if you have experienced the latter.

I did not see where OP mentioned culture… have I missed something... Here is where she mentioned it. Is that a cultural thing? Implying cultural difference per se is not necessarily pejorative, sometimes I wonder if some people go through life looking for opportunities to feel offended, either on their own account or as a general response to life. It is most certainly pejorative when you are making a complaint about a behavior that you have witnessed X number of times and have decided to ask "innocently" whether it is a cultural thing. What kind of answer are you looking for? Yes, it is culturally accepted for parents to cheat in X culture? Don't be offended it's just how THEY do things? My goodness... And yes, SOME of us have been offended throughout our lives based on our culture / color of our skin and that has affected how we look at statements such as the OP's. Or am I not allowed to have feelings?

Yes realise that but we are still allowed to voice an opinion ;) unless that is not ' allowed ' since the thumbs up and down arrived on the scene...... <em>edited by Nomad on 30/03/2014</em>

Implying cultural difference per se is not necessarily pejorative, sometimes I wonder if some people go through life looking for opportunities to feel offended, either on their own account or as a general response to life. In answer to the OP's question, there are parents cheat everywhere, usually because they are more childish than their own children. ' Looking for opportunities to feel offended ' Wow you have hit the nail on the head LT... edited by Nomad on 30/03/2014 And that is what that green thumb up thingie is for :P

Implying cultural difference per se is not necessarily pejorative, sometimes I wonder if some people go through life looking for opportunities to feel offended, either on their own account or as a general response to life. In answer to the OP's question, there are parents cheat everywhere, usually because they are more childish than their own children. ' Looking for opportunities to feel offended ' Wow you have hit the nail on the head LT... <em>edited by Nomad on 30/03/2014</em>

Have you asked the parents?

Implying cultural difference per se is not necessarily pejorative, sometimes I wonder if some people go through life looking for opportunities to feel offended, either on their own account or as a general response to life. In answer to the OP's question, there are parents cheat everywhere, usually because they are more childish than their own children.

OP I don't think it's cultural and in fact, not sure why you would mention that unless you are pointing fingers at a particular culture and generalizing them to be cheaters (based on what, the handful of times a particular parent(s) cheated in a sports event?). Cheating happens across all cultures, all ages and in every activity imaginable. It happens in sports, in homework, political races..........can anyone name anything that is free of cheaters/cheating? Izzy to talk about lack of ethics, well we all cheat at one thing or another to get ahead or as it suits us. How many of us download movies and tv shows for free (V*P*N...??)? Ever given your parking ticket to someone else so they didn't have to pay for their own (I know it's just you being courteous but you are cheating hte government). It's wrong what you saw. I agree, I htink it's silly. Did you say anything to the person or are you jsut here to vent? I can understand both as I've done them too!

Isn't it because failure / losing is not an option! I thought children nowadays were not taught about being second!