should I ask my maid to dress modestly?

OP, you are not supposed to submit to anybody assumption or thoughts overhere, you don't have to explain your self or what you mean, simply it's your house so it's your rules! If you feel that your employee is not representing good image of where she work - the trashy hooker dressing up - then I suggest you terminate her and send her home, if she is taking you for a ride and being a drama queen and sobbing if you tried to tell her about something she fell short in her work, well that should tell you exactly what she is all about!! If dressing up like this not a problem with you; very well let her do what she want, but be careful, as she will keep taking rights and privileges she is not entitled to from you and against your well, and this prove her who really run your house: it's her! If I have a DD I won't allow her dress up like what you described, and h@ll yes I would be checking out her social accounts and I would be spitting fire if my little girl is posting photos like that! I wouldn't post something like that, and h@ll yes I wouldn't let any friend or a relative post things like that or dress like that, even if they are visiting me not in my watch to dress up like a street walker!! So, allowing my employee/ helper/ nanny/ maid, who lives under my roof, taking care of my house in my abcens and babysit my children to post an images like these about herself or dress up like that! Simply what if someone we know seen her like a street walker dress up; what they would say or think about our home? What if this maid treys to hook up with any of my family friends?! What they would think about my house? Just think about these ideas and what ifs..... I know someone who entertained her maids bfs, and finally the last bf did ask the husband if he agree on letting him see the maid!!! As he is courting her!!!! Which didn't end up well after that. Talking about code of conduct; I know someone who was on leave without leaving Dubai, he was out with another friends - mix of men and women - they got drunk, and it was time for everybody to go home, except this dude, who wanted to go with a certain lady up to her place, she refused him and just got to the left, the dude couldn't understand no for an answer, did start a fight with the bldg security, the fact the building security was part of the work place and the building is rented by the work itself, after all the hussle, he was fired from his work, as the reason was he couldn't respect the law to abstain, as he was muslim, the fact he misbehaved badly and couldn't respect his position even he was on leave, and coused unnececesary big sight!!! Yes they didn't call the police, but he lost his job and was sent back to his home in less than 2 weeks after that night! To sum it all, sooner or later this maid will couse trouble, and she must go.

I saw several times how maids are compared to employees here, which is totally different as per the law. They consider a maid as a dependant similar to your own children. If she is caught in act or does anything illegal even outside her workings hours the sponsor will be fined & sometimes jailed. If you are an employee in a company your company will not be held responsible. I'd be concerned if our house maid is dressed like hooker when she goes out, but I wouldn't care if it's one of our company's employee. <em>edited by wickedangel_78 on 23/07/2014</em>

Assuming the maid is on your sponsorship, you have a substantial responsibility under UAE law to be accountable for her actions all the time, not just during the time she is in your home working. If she gets into trouble, at any time, in any form, you are accountable. Of course, her choice of clothes is her choice, but if i were you, i would definitely have a chat about expectations as her VISA HOLDER to ensure you are both on the same page. This may include abiding by UAE modesty norms, UAE laws on *** outside of marriage, public displays of affection etc. Don't assume her friends/peers are informing her of the laws and consequences of breaking them. I recently employed an Indian maid and it's now part of the process for sponsor and sponsee (sp?) to have an interview by the Indian embassy where they inform both parties of the common troubles maids find themselves in, and implications for the sponsor, which really opened my eyes.

Well, I don't have a maid in my home for the moment but in the near future I'm sure I'll. We've been working weekly with Hacer (her name is) more than 5 years, she is totally a part of the family and in the beginning she was a stranger to us, too. From her shoes we were strangers as well. She is my dear helper and I told her from the beginning that in this home all the housework was being taken care of by 2 women, her and me. We shared responsibilities. Luckily, she was a good person and we worked together great! When I have a maid, I'm planning to keep the same approach to that person as well. Yes there's an employment relation between us, but we'll be sharing our home and hoping to end up in a mutual good relationship. More than that, we'll be sharing the same boat with her which is UAE and it's regulations. In this case, if I'm wearing moderate stuff and avoiding any misunderstanding against the rules of UAE, I'd expect the same from her, even in her free times because we'll be sharing the same shell. This is the rule of UAE to work & live together, not mine. If I again be lucky, I'll be falling to another good person. Caring about the safety of the persons, especially the ones that you're in a close relationship, is a part of being a good person -I think- . This includes being cautious. If I am not that lucky, I'd tell her that we can't live & work safely together and let her go her way. Sometimes the choices of other people are not your choices. Sorry for the novel:)

When a worker falls foul of the law the employer disciplines the worker. But how many employers here dictate what a worker should be wearing [b'>outside the workplace or at home?[/b'> If the OP is concerned about whether the maid is bringing someone over or not, a camera would be the most logical solution. edited by Arch on 23/07/2014 As mentioned earlier outside workplace I do not care what she wears, but at home I do care [b'>because it is "inside workplace" for her[/b'>. I decided to have a chat with her this afternoon and tell her that she can wear whatever she wants outside but at least dress modestly when she is going out and coming back home " the workplace" It's also her HOME !! Home, then she must respect the rules of the house like all other members of the house.

Lolacat, some Western expats are in the privileged position of working in jobs which are highly skilled and their expertise highly paid. Obviously, if an employee is failing to obey the law or is failing to perform well at work, that will have serious repercussions, irrespective of pay grade. But in the case under discussion, there is no suggestion of illegal behaviour. It's laughable to suggest that international companies routinely scrutinise the sartorial choices of their employees at the weekend for no reason. As anybody who has been here more than five seconds knows, the experience of maids as opposed to professionals in the workforce is barely comparable. Professionals with international skills and the consequent mobility which this brings versus domestic help from impoverished countries? Maids are in the unenviable position of working in unskilled jobs where they are seen as disposable and they often live with their employer, subjecting them to 24 hour scrutiny. I am grateful that I come from the kind of privileged background which means I don't have to walk in their shoes and I never cease to be amazed by some of the attitudes exhibited towards maids. This has nothing to do with social class, it has to do with employment and boundaries. If an employer requests modesty and respectful behaviour whilst out of working hours of their employee then the employee has to honour those requests regardless of who they are. And every employee is disposable when under employed regardless of education, class or nationality, anyone who has been employed should understand that. Regarding illegal, well that is a moot point. Dressing like a hooker certainly breaches modesty laws here, regardless of nationality. Having a relationship with another of the opposite *** outside of marriage is not legal. Why should maids be treated any different to any other employee? The attitudes you speak of are yours. The reality is that any employee who brings an employer into disrepute through poor behaviour is at risk of legal implications.

When a worker falls foul of the law the employer disciplines the worker. But how many employers here dictate what a worker should be wearing [b'>outside the workplace or at home?[/b'> If the OP is concerned about whether the maid is bringing someone over or not, a camera would be the most logical solution. edited by Arch on 23/07/2014 As mentioned earlier outside workplace I do not care what she wears, but at home I do care [b'>because it is "inside workplace" for her[/b'>. I decided to have a chat with her this afternoon and tell her that she can wear whatever she wants outside but at least dress modestly when she is going out and coming back home " the workplace" It's also her HOME !!

I had this issue last year and yes of course I addressed it.. carefully. When was the last time any of us wore fishnet stockings for any other reason than the obvious! They have not even been fashionable in such a long time & it's summer lol! It is also Ramadan so if I saw someone walking around the mall etc wearing fishnets it would stike me as inappropriate.

Lolacat, some Western expats are in the privileged position of working in jobs which are highly skilled and their expertise highly paid. Obviously, if an employee is failing to obey the law or is failing to perform well at work, that will have serious repercussions, irrespective of pay grade. But in the case under discussion, there is no suggestion of illegal behaviour. It's laughable to suggest that international companies routinely scrutinise the sartorial choices of their employees at the weekend for no reason. As anybody who has been here more than five seconds knows, the experience of maids as opposed to professionals in the workforce is barely comparable. Professionals with international skills and the consequent mobility which this brings versus domestic help from impoverished countries? Maids are in the unenviable position of working in unskilled jobs where they are seen as disposable and they often live with their employer, subjecting them to 24 hour scrutiny. I am grateful that I come from the kind of privileged background which means I don't have to walk in their shoes and I never cease to be amazed by some of the attitudes exhibited towards maids.

Are you employed? Because if you are and your employer deems any of your behavior outside of the work place unacceptable you will be disciplined. This is the reality of the working world, regardless of whether one is a domestic or a top executive. . When a worker falls foul of the law the employer disciplines the worker. But how many employers here dictate what a worker should be wearing outside the workplace or at home? If the OP is concerned about whether the maid is bringing someone over or not, a camera would be the most logical solution. <em>edited by Arch on 23/07/2014</em>

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned... she has been with me for 5 months now, she usually leaves thursday afternoon and come back friday night. and yes I am concerned about the way she dresses and behaves because she is taking care of my son when I am at work and I do not want her to end up bringing someone to the house while we are at work. I am sure she is dating someone, [b'>however it is not my business,[/b'> what I care about is the safety of my son and not to get my DH into a trouble since he is her sponsor. PS: and I also know that as per UAE law , she is suppose to dress modestly. It IS your business - she is not just an employee but someone who is in your care while in teh UAE, whatever she gets up to in her off time, can come back and bite you in the ass. I agree. I'd be worried she came back pregnant. and if she accused your hubby of molesting her, he could end up in jail until the baby was born....

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned... she has been with me for 5 months now, she usually leaves thursday afternoon and come back friday night. and yes I am concerned about the way she dresses and behaves because she is taking care of my son when I am at work and I do not want her to end up bringing someone to the house while we are at work. I am sure she is dating someone, however it is not my business, what I care about is the safety of my son and not to get my DH into a trouble since he is her sponsor. PS: and I also know that as per UAE law , she is suppose to dress modestly. You are the employer not her friend, set the boundaries and enforce them or get rid of her, it is clear you do not respect her or trust her.

From this thread, one can clearly draw a map on how some of us treat our house girls. How, from this thread, is it apparent that some people treat their maids?

Threads like this are interesting because they demonstrate how some people believe they have a right to dictate every detail of someone else's life, including what she wears during her one day off, simply because she mops their floor. I wouldn't want a total stranger living with me and would certainly never wish to be in the onerous situation of controlling every aspect of this stranger's behaviour. Having a maid is a huge responsibility and it seems that often it's an adversarial one. At least judging by some of the stuff you read on this forum. Are you employed? Because if you are and your employer deems any of your behavior outside of the work place unacceptable you will be disciplined. This is the reality of the working world, regardless of whether one is a domestic or a top executive. There is nothing complicated about employing a domestic, the complications come when the relationship dynamics are confused and employers don't set their expectations down clearly from the start.

So maids are to be given a code of conduct for their free time? She doesn't work for a multinational! [b'>As long as she isn't doing anything illegal it's her own business.[/b'> If you are worried about her, as in worried she may get into trouble by all means have a talk with her and if you are worried about her appearance coming or going from your house ask her to change somewhere else. Personally I don't get social networking between employers/employees. Whether you like it or not, we all have a code of conduct for our free time, if people get up to illegal acitivity in their own time, they CAN and are OFTEN sacked.... the chick in the back of the taxi, the chick on the beach... etc etc. The law is separate to a code of conduct and I am not suggesting that she isn't accountable in her off time, there are modesty laws. The examples you gave are illegal as they are back home (I love how people think Dubai is the only place you can't **** in public!) however the law is enforced here. Its a bit of jump to go from skimpy clothes to calling her a hooker and expecting her [b'>to be bringing guys over[/b'>. Women do themselves no favours when they talk about each other this way. what I meant here is bringing her BF and not any random guy, which could easily happen and we have heard about similar incidents several times. and Yes I am concerned about the way she's in and out from the house but not really bothered about the way she dresses on her day off as long as she walks in and out dressed modestly. Having a male over BF or random would be illegal. Just talk to her and remind her of the laws here.

From this thread, one can clearly draw a map on how some of us treat our house girls.

So maids are to be given a code of conduct for their free time? She doesn't work for a multinational! [b'>As long as she isn't doing anything illegal it's her own business.[/b'> If you are worried about her, as in worried she may get into trouble by all means have a talk with her and if you are worried about her appearance coming or going from your house ask her to change somewhere else. Personally I don't get social networking between employers/employees. Whether you like it or not, we all have a code of conduct for our free time, if people get up to illegal acitivity in their own time, they CAN and are OFTEN sacked.... the chick in the back of the taxi, the chick on the beach... etc etc. The law is separate to a code of conduct and I am not suggesting that she isn't accountable in her off time, there are modesty laws. The examples you gave are illegal as they are back home (I love how people think Dubai is the only place you can't **** in public!) however the law is enforced here. Its a bit of jump to go from skimpy clothes to calling her a hooker and expecting her to be bringing guys over. Women do themselves no favours when they talk about each other this way.

Threads like this are interesting because they demonstrate how some people believe they have a right to dictate every detail of someone else's life, including what she wears during her one day off, simply because she mops their floor. I wouldn't want a total stranger living with me and would certainly never wish to be in the onerous situation of controlling every aspect of this stranger's behaviour. Having a maid is a huge responsibility and it seems that often it's an adversarial one. At least judging by some of the stuff you read on this forum.

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned... she has been with me for 5 months now, she usually leaves thursday afternoon and come back friday night. and yes I am concerned about the way she dresses and behaves because she is taking care of my son when I am at work and I do not want her to end up bringing someone to the house while we are at work. I am sure she is dating someone, [b'>however it is not my business,[/b'> what I care about is the safety of my son and not to get my DH into a trouble since he is her sponsor. PS: and I also know that as per UAE law , she is suppose to dress modestly. It IS your business - she is not just an employee but someone who is in your care while in teh UAE, whatever she gets up to in her off time, can come back and bite you in the ass. I agree. I'd be worried she came back pregnant.

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned... she has been with me for 5 months now, she usually leaves thursday afternoon and come back friday night. and yes I am concerned about the way she dresses and behaves because she is taking care of my son when I am at work and I do not want her to end up bringing someone to the house while we are at work. I am sure she is dating someone, however it is not my business, what I care about is the safety of my son and not to get my DH into a trouble since he is her sponsor. PS: and I also know that as per UAE law , she is suppose to dress modestly. In that case, I would be concerned. It is time for you to have a talk with her...

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned... she has been with me for 5 months now, she usually leaves thursday afternoon and come back friday night. and yes I am concerned about the way she dresses and behaves because she is taking care of my son when I am at work and I do not want her to end up bringing someone to the house while we are at work. I am sure she is dating someone, [b'>however it is not my business,[/b'> what I care about is the safety of my son and not to get my DH into a trouble since he is her sponsor. PS: and I also know that as per UAE law , she is suppose to dress modestly. It IS your business - she is not just an employee but someone who is in your care while in teh UAE, whatever she gets up to in her off time, can come back and bite you in the ass.

So maids are to be given a code of conduct for their free time? She doesn't work for a multinational! As long as she isn't doing anything illegal it's her own business. If you are worried about her, as in worried she may get into trouble by all means have a talk with her and if you are worried about her appearance coming or going from your house ask her to change somewhere else. Personally I don't get social networking between employers/employees. Whether you like it or not, we all have a code of conduct for our free time, if people get up to illegal acitivity in their own time, they CAN and are OFTEN sacked.... the chick in the back of the taxi, the chick on the beach... etc etc.

yes. Do you let her stay out at the weekends? IF you do,perhaps monitor her social media - as this doesn't sound like the behavoiur of a happily married woman. And how is a happily married woman supposed to dress and behave? She's 36 - not 60! well taking selfies and posting on all sorts of social media is the behaviour of someone wanting / needing lots of attention... for sure she will be getting it at the weekends if you let her walk around looking like a hooker. And who are you to judge how people dress??? Please, live and let live! naive, how people dress is judged and live and let live has no place in the world of employees. It's regarding how she dresses in her OFF time. <em>edited by pmd on 23/07/2014</em>

Hi, Why are you examining her social media postings? Surely her Facebook postings are her concern. Would you be happy if she was scrutinising yours and passing judgement? Why are you concerned about what she's wearing during non working hours? Isn't she allowed to wear what she chooses on her day off? If her work is satisfactory, why are you focusing on irrelevant stuff which isn't impacting her job? You shoudl be concerend as the maid is your respinsibility while under your sponsorship. What she does can and does affect your family. She is not JUST an employee.

So maids are to be given a code of conduct for their free time? She doesn't work for a multinational! As long as she isn't doing anything illegal it's her own business. If you are worried about her, as in worried she may get into trouble by all means have a talk with her and if you are worried about her appearance coming or going from your house ask her to change somewhere else. Personally I don't get social networking between employers/employees.

How long has this maid been with you? If she has been a good employee for, let's say 5 years, I'd let it slide. But if she has only been with you a few months, I would be concerned...