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Being bullied because of an accent

dorisdaydream44311

59

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 09:48

Been in Dubai for over 6 years and have come to realise that there is definitely a North/South divide with people from the UK. My son, over the summer holidays has attended two summer camps where in both he is being teased/bullied because of his northern (manchester) accent. The bullies are of course southern!. I know kids can be cruel but it upsets me so much that my 9 year old has been made to feel so conscious over his accent that he has asked me how he can change it. I am proud to be where we are from in the UK and just wish my son could be too.

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1601

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 19:58

Loved the stories Joyce:) We raised two boys in various countries and no matter where there were always bullies.....they find a scab and will continue to pick at it until it bleeds. The best we found was to arm the boys with the best ways to deal with it. Our eldest has always been a big fellow and not many picked on him but his younger brother was a target and it took all our efforts to stop his brother from " sorting things out ".....When he stood up to the bullies himself things got much better, he has a tongue like a razor now ! Redrec you have so hit the nail on the head, it is a learned behaviour children live what they learn, it starts and end with the parents.As you say we have our own on EW...... My granddaughter has a funny gait when she runs as a result of how she lay in the womb in a V ,so had to wear a brace for two years. Her mom and dad have been preparing her for years because other children have noticed it and as children do they ask her directly. They are dreading middle school as this is when it generally starts but hopefully it won't be as bad as we think.

Anonymous (not verified)

0

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 17:28

I love all the different accents, I think they give people something extra:)

1236

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 17:16

Think I've told this story before but can't remember so apologies! We enjoy frequent narrowboat holidays and one year we were in the heart of beautiful Yorkshire. One day we had moored up for the day and DH was chatting away to a man who was walking his dog along the towpath. They were there for ages, at least half an hour!! When he came back, I asked him what the gent had been saying and DH said "no idea, couldn't make out a word he said"! Later that evening we went to the local pub for a meal and bumped into the man and his wife. The 2 men ordered drinks at the bar and I chatted to the man's wife. She said that she wondered what on earth had happened to her hubby who had only popped out for a short dog walk. He apparently said that he had "bumped into a lovely Scottish chap and they had a bit of a chat but didn't catch half of what he said!!!" :D

8965

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 14:32

I've been asked if I'm Irish, American, Australian, South African and even German! I do try and speak a little clearer when talking to someone who isn't British but when having a conversation with someone else from 'up north' I must admit that I revert back to my mother tongue, so to speak! (the flat vowel and glottal stop rule lol). I have also been asked if I am Australia and once Italian?

Made in Sheffield

170

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 14:12

I've been asked if I'm Irish, American, Australian, South African and even German! I do try and speak a little clearer when talking to someone who isn't British but when having a conversation with someone else from 'up north' I must admit that I revert back to my mother tongue, so to speak! (the flat vowel and glottal stop rule lol).

588

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 14:02

Kids are not always the only cruel ones - they are learning it from someone. Just take a look at the negative, spiteful comments made on this very board about non-native English speakers and the way they mispronounce or speak English, which is, after all, a foreign language for that person. Its not only children who can learn lessons in patience and acceptance of another's way of doing things differently, or badly. Maybe who knows, if the adults improved, the kids might too. <em>edited by Redrec Tangle on 28/08/2014</em>

477

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 13:51

Firstly OP I am so sorry that happened to your DS, it's so upsetting and frustrating when they are hurt intentionally. Perhaps you can now reinforce ways he can stand up for himself that yourself and DH deem appropriate (I'm sure you already have) but maybe get him to do roll play with your DH so he builds more confidence when confronted by teasing/bullying. With a bleeding nose there wasn't much he could do but perhaps so he feels more equipt to deal with the jibes in future. Good luck :) Joyce you have a gorgeous accent :) Thank you!! We should all be proud of our own accents and celebrate that on such a tiny island, there is so much diversity with dialects and accents. Agree that this little lad should be encouraged to be proud of his lovely warm, friendly accent and try and ignore the ignorant little twits. :) as should everyone across the world (filipino, south african, aussies, kiwis etc). It is a part of who we are and where we are from. If it's not soft on your (generic) ear, then keep schtum and respect that person's heritage ... Perhaps your (generic) accent isnt so soft to them either.

8965

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 13:09

I was bullied for having a birthmark on my face, my nephew for being really pale and skinny. Kids can be awful and I would be mortified if I knew I had raised a bully for a child. The camp need to of done something about this.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 13:03

When I first moved to this country, I wasn't used to hearing English spoken by people other than Americans. I had real trouble understanding people from Ireland and the UK and I used to feel like saying to them: "Please don't call me. Only text me because I won't understand anything you say on the phone." More than 10 years later, I have adapted to all the different ways that English is spoken here...

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:59

I love all the accents My favourites being Scottish Liverpuddlian Geordie Northern Irish The stronger the better for me ;-) Now that we are talking about English accents, I'd like to go beyond the UK. The strongest accent I have ever heard was from a native English speaker from Trinidad and Tobago. He and I were speaking the same language but I couldn't understand most of what he was saying to me. Yet he could understand me...

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:59

Firstly OP I am so sorry that happened to your DS, it's so upsetting and frustrating when they are hurt intentionally. Perhaps you can now reinforce ways he can stand up for himself that yourself and DH deem appropriate (I'm sure you already have) but maybe get him to do roll play with your DH so he builds more confidence when confronted by teasing/bullying. With a bleeding nose there wasn't much he could do but perhaps so he feels more equipt to deal with the jibes in future. Good luck :) Joyce you have a gorgeous accent :) Thank you!! We should all be proud of our own accents and celebrate that on such a tiny island, there is so much diversity with dialects and accents. Agree that this little lad should be encouraged to be proud of his lovely warm, friendly accent and try and ignore the ignorant little twits. :)

8965

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:56

I love all the accents My favourites being Scottish Liverpuddlian Geordie Northern Irish The stronger the better for me ;-)

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:56

What a shame, kids can be so cruel. Sadly, there are adults who are just as bad. We had a holiday in China with Saga which was almost ruined by a group of 3 couples who constantly made stupid remarks about our strong Glasgow accents. They were from Surrey and to be honest we struggled to understand them at times. These "adults" were all in their 50s!!! My DH eventually snapped and cornered the male ring leader one evening, tearing strips off him loudly in front of the rest of our party who also thought that this group were out of order. Their behaviour stopped and they kept very quiet after coming up against my normally quiet DH's wrath!! A lovely Welsh couple were also on the receiving end of these idiots' behaviour. Bullies need to be stood up to. Hopefully your DS won't come up against these stupid boys again. x Good for your husband! He must have shown that bloke from Surrey who's boss! Not quite LOL! He just made him look small and childish saying that the last time he heard that kind of infantile talk was in a school playground and wouldn't his grandchildren ( that he had been droning on about) be so proud of hearing the way grandpa treated people just because they sound different. Told him to grow up and tell his equally childish WEE pals to do the same, while pointing in the direction of the kids' adventure playground telling him to run along and play. The best bit was when the 2 lovely English couples we were sitting with, clapped!! :D Awww! We need more guys like your DH!

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:55

What a shame, kids can be so cruel. Sadly, there are adults who are just as bad. We had a holiday in China with Saga which was almost ruined by a group of 3 couples who constantly made stupid remarks about our strong Glasgow accents. They were from Surrey and to be honest we struggled to understand them at times. These "adults" were all in their 50s!!! My DH eventually snapped and cornered the male ring leader one evening, tearing strips off him loudly in front of the rest of our party who also thought that this group were out of order. Their behaviour stopped and they kept very quiet after coming up against my normally quiet DH's wrath!! A lovely Welsh couple were also on the receiving end of these idiots' behaviour. Bullies need to be stood up to. Hopefully your DS won't come up against these stupid boys again. x Good for your husband! He must have shown that bloke from Surrey who's boss! Not quite LOL! He just made him look small and childish saying that the last time he heard that kind of infantile talk was in a school playground and wouldn't his grandchildren ( that he had been droning on about) be so proud of hearing the way grandpa treated people just because they sound different. Told him to grow up and tell his equally childish WEE pals to do the same, while pointing in the direction of the kids' adventure playground telling him to run along and play. The best bit was when the 2 lovely English couples we were sitting with, clapped!! :D

174

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:52

Firstly OP I am so sorry that happened to your DS, it's so upsetting and frustrating when they are hurt intentionally. Perhaps you can now reinforce ways he can stand up for himself that yourself and DH deem appropriate (I'm sure you already have) but maybe get him to do roll play with your DH so he builds more confidence when confronted by teasing/bullying. With a bleeding nose there wasn't much he could do but perhaps so he feels more equipt to deal with the jibes in future. Good luck :) Joyce you have a gorgeous accent :)

8965

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:51

If he ever sees the kids again tell him to remind them about the Northern football teams ;-) I hope he is okay. Kids can be so cruel

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:40

What a shame, kids can be so cruel. Sadly, there are adults who are just as bad. We had a holiday in China with Saga which was almost ruined by a group of 3 couples who constantly made stupid remarks about our strong Glasgow accents. They were from Surrey and to be honest we struggled to understand them at times. These "adults" were all in their 50s!!! My DH eventually snapped and cornered the male ring leader one evening, tearing strips off him loudly in front of the rest of our party who also thought that this group were out of order. Their behaviour stopped and they kept very quiet after coming up against my normally quiet DH's wrath!! A lovely Welsh couple were also on the receiving end of these idiots' behaviour. Bullies need to be stood up to. Hopefully your DS won't come up against these stupid boys again. x Good for your husband! He must have shown that bloke from Surrey who's boss!

1236

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 12:19

What a shame, kids can be so cruel. Sadly, there are adults who are just as bad. We had a holiday in China with Saga which was almost ruined by a group of 3 couples who constantly made stupid remarks about our strong Glasgow accents. They were from Surrey and to be honest we struggled to understand them at times. These "adults" were all in their 50s!!! My DH eventually snapped and cornered the male ring leader one evening, tearing strips off him loudly in front of the rest of our party who also thought that this group were out of order. Their behaviour stopped and they kept very quiet after coming up against my normally quiet DH's wrath!! A lovely Welsh couple were also on the receiving end of these idiots' behaviour. Bullies need to be stood up to. Hopefully your DS won't come up against these stupid boys again. x

dorisdaydream44311

59

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 11:52

Lolacat replied : DorisDaydream you are obviously upset but you need to establish what the actual issues are. One minute you say it's because of his accent, the next he had his nose busted the next he was manhandled. Lolacat, the issues are, my son was teased because of his accent. This then became an issue of bullying after his nose busted when his face hit the ground after having his face pushed down. He has never had a nose bleed before! What do you mean by 'next he was manhandled'?

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 11:18

there is little one can do except what you have which is remove your child. Actually from experience this is the worst thing you can do, as the child never learns to stand up for themselves and address the issues. As someone who was bullied mercilessly for about 10 years at school, for the most pathetic and ridiculous reasons ever - bad surname, wore glasses, had big fuzzy hair - I can well believe an accent can cause bullying. OP, needs to teach her son that bullies are cowards, once you stand up to them and they realise you're not afraid, then usually back off. The majority of time, bullies have major self confidence issues themselves, and they pick on others to make themselves feel better. My parents tried everything, but it wasn't until I found my self confidence and stood up to them, to the point I smacked one boy in the face, that they finally left me alone. <em>edited by FairyDust on 28/08/2014</em>

2738

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 11:08

DorisDaydream you are obviously upset but you need to establish what the actual issues are. One minute you say it's because of his accent, the next he had his nose busted the next he was manhandled. Having a nose bleed is not a busted nose. However, I would be extremely concerned that anyone pushed your child or another down to the extent it caused a nosebleed. Now either this was an over exuberant accident or it was malice. Both should be addressed by the camp as serious and apologies and discipline handed out accordingly. Re the accent, what is the issue really? SO many children have accents in this part of the world i would honestly be surprised is an accent alone was cause for bullying. That is not saying bullying is not going on but something is and your son is just picking up on the accent bit. Maybe you can speak to him more and see what else is he gets picked on for. Unfortunately camps are very difficult as they are open to a whole range of kids and some attendees really are not very nice, there is little one can do except what you have which is remove your child.

477

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:31

This is very sad. OP, i hope your son is ok. One look at the "could they be more vacuous" thread shows that accents are apparently an issue for grown-ups too.

14

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:24

We are from the North east of England, my eldest has been teased about his accent since moving here 4 years ago. He went to one school for 3 years and has been at another for 1 year. We didn't move him because of this, it wasn't an ongoing problem but periodically it would be an issue. Since moving to the new school it has happened a few times. He is now quite sensitive about it.

5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:14

The way I see it, Doris, is that our children are going to have to learn how to face bullies and we as parents need to learn to deal with them too. It could be an accent, acne, being too fat or too skinny, wearing glasses, being too smart or pretty, etc... You just need to instill pride in your son about where he came from and I would have reacted the same way that you did. I would not have sent my son back to summer camp. How about demanding a refund for the days he didn't go?

2264

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:13

Children can be so mean sometimes. Regardless of why they're picking on your son, just remind him that bullies are all cowards and usually run in the other direction if actually confronted. Bullies will always pick on others for seemingly silly reasons. They're not worth him worrying about. I hope he's ok and the attitude of the instructors is appalling.

318

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:12

Violence is never okay. You will probably never get the full story of how that all came about. Interesting that an accent is a cause for bullying here - it's Dubai! Everyone has one! P.S. I hate the expression 'boys will be boys'. Being male is not an excuse for poor behaviour, any more that being female implies appropriate behaviour. <em>edited by Stix on 28/08/2014</em>

dorisdaydream44311

59

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:11

No fighting involved. It was a sports camp and the kids were asked to do press up's. As my son was doing them, another boy ( the bully) pushed his head to the floor resulting in a bloodied nose. Yes, the instructors were spoken to and their response was that 'boys will be boys' and that yes it was my son being 'picked on' today but tomorrow they will move on to someone else! Hasten to add, he never went back!

IzzyOnTheSeat82823

5334

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:05

DS has been in Dubai since he was 3 so he considers Dubai his home. Picking him up from summer camp with a busted nose in my opinion counts as being bullied. Depends how it happened - sometimes a fight is just a fight.

5452

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:03

Oh no! Totally unacceptable! Did you address this with the camp counselors? I would be livid if one of my children came home from summer camp with an injured nose!

dorisdaydream44311

59

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 28 August 2014 - 10:00

DS has been in Dubai since he was 3 so he considers Dubai his home. Picking him up from summer camp with a busted nose in my opinion counts as being bullied.

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