Horrible recommendation by a KG teacher. | ExpatWoman.com
 

Horrible recommendation by a KG teacher.

23
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 January 2015 - 07:15

So I am writing here not to be bashed but would love some help, I would tell you first what kind of a parent I am. I am a very involved parent, I read, write, breathe, have activities according to my children, I had a very active role in his school, constantly in touch with parents association, participating in bake sale, participation in internation day, the first one to volunteer for chaperoning. Recently we packed our lives up and said goodbye to UAE, our home for seven years. Abudhabi was a second home, my son attended a very good prestigious school there. Past six months were very hard on us, with us selling almost everything and anything we owned there to living in a hotel for the last few months, kids room and toys packed up and left in the container. Everything was knowin to his current teacher and school, I mention this because I have never had any bad experience with any teacher, I have had few this happened or that happened at school but never have I experienced anything serious or ever received a threatening call or message from any of his teacher or school. However his new class teacher who was with him for around two months before the move was quite stern, expected students to be a certain way and gave almost every parent quite a bit of trouble, my time was ending there anyway I didn't bother changing the section despite my friends advising me to, I told them it's just a matter of few weeks and who knows she could be the best for him. I must mention his school reports have been good, he is an average student, I won't lie but he has made quite a progress in this school.
So now we have moved, still in a hotel, searched for schools in the new country we are in, and one of the schools I am so eager to get my 5 year old in, gives me a call and mentions I need to have a meeting with the headmaster to discuss if he would accept the application. So then I worry. I gave them all the permission to access any school records and willingly asked them to speak to anyone they could regarding my son, so we have a meeting. He says he had couple of recommendations from School, with mentioning how sweet, humble, over friendly and how participative my son is, to one saying how my son was a "physical threat" to others on the playground and how he took a one on one attention of the helper, who in turn couldn't help the other students in class and this is word by word read out to me, lastly it mentions how I have hindered his independence constantly and do things for him in class so he is very dependent. (I am certain this is his class teacher)
I was in shock, I was quiet I didn't know what to say, he was observing my son in the mean time and says that he appears wonderful to me but can you explain what is written here? I told him he is 5, kids do get physical on the playground and I don't know how to explain this, I was never told this by anyone I met the teacher in person couple of times, meetings after meetings, yes we were working on my son being more independent with placing his food and bottles and he goes washroom completely on his own, makes his own bed, even sloppy, changes his clothes, sometimes wears the shirt inside out, but he is 5 and he just joined KG Senior.
I don't know how to react to this, they have given my son a provisional enrollment on the assessment, I am so upset I fear they will scrutinize my son. As if moving to a new country away from Grand parents and aunt and uncles wasn't hurtful enough for him, i was already searching a good peadtrician or a child councellor because i wanted this transition to be smooth, right now he loves this country but sometimes he wants to go back to his old house, old school, old friends. I am going bonkers, this is not my son she mentions, even if there was ever any problem, why wasn't I told, why would she wait to write this to a complete stranger? This is a recommendation? His Ex teacher of KG Prep completely disagrees with this, I am furious, hurt and never ever saw this coming. What should I do? I need some advice, she has jeopardized future enrollment for my son, how is this a recommendation for a 5 year old kid?
Few of my friends have asked me to lodge a formal complaint with ADEC but the damage has been done. How does that help me?
<em>edited by Apach on 13/01/2015</em>

203
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 January 2015 - 13:06
Apach, glad you are getting to the bottom of this, but from reading your post it does sound like you are a tad too involved. You mention that you do things for him in class - how often were you at that school? Within the space of two months, you spoke to the teacher very other day, and had three personal meetings with her? That does sound a bit much. What were the meetings about? Was your son having issues in class? Why would the new school be looking for records (of behavior and things, compared to records to show he attended school) from his previous school when he is only 5? Did you offer that info without being asked? Please do not take this the wrong way, but maybe in the new school you need to take a step back, and give him a chance to let his personality shine. If the teachers ask to meet with you, then do so, but if not let him get on with things.
23
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 January 2015 - 06:35
You must go and speak to the teacher who you think wrote this about your son, have a face to face meeting. At the moment, you're only guessing it was her/him. You are entitled to know exactly what happened and why this was written, and this can only be achieved if you have a proper meeting. Sorry for what you are going through - moving house & relocating is a VERY stressful time. Please don't worry too much - your child is only 5 years old, he has his whole educational life in front of him! Thank you for the reply, I have been going crazy. It has been confirmed it was infact only her. I am six hours flight away and can't speak to her personally even if I could, I won't, she doesn't deserve a talk! I am too hurt and furious at the moment. I did however talk to the principal who first kept on apologizing for what went wrong and how he wasn't aware she wrote this and will look into this, then blamed the new headmaster for unnecessarily fishing for something, I told him now you unnecessarily have given him something so No thank you for that. I told him in future any recommendation will not go from this teacher who has no respect for her profession and who was infact only two months with my son and was somewhat vindictive and never ever spoke to me in person to say such about my son, despite me speaking with her almost every other day and three personal meeting with me and my husband I am a very easy mother, I would take anything said by the teacher about my son's behavior or attitude very seriously,, he said I am really sorry I have never had you or your family in my office ever, never have I heard a complain about your son, infact I think he isn't what is written here,, yes I told him I knew about him being less independent in class, infact we were working on it, but the rest is just Bull. Anyways I don't expect him to take any action other than "speak" with her and she will do the same with other parents I am certain, I wasn't the only parent who didn't approve of her btw. I will however raise this concern with Gems main office and file a complaint with ADEC. I hope they look into it, I have had four very trained teachers with my son and never have I had to go through with this. My son was sitting across the table listening to what was said, he is 5, he came out and said Mama I am sad. I would need to work with him more so he forgets what was said about him in front of him, as a parent I am hurt and damaged. I hope no other parent goes through this! <em>edited by Apach on 15/01/2015</em>
309
Posts
EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 January 2015 - 09:46
You must go and speak to the teacher who you think wrote this about your son, have a face to face meeting. At the moment, you're only guessing it was her/him. You are entitled to know exactly what happened and why this was written, and this can only be achieved if you have a proper meeting. Sorry for what you are going through - moving house & relocating is a VERY stressful time. Please don't worry too much - your child is only 5 years old, he has his whole educational life in front of him!