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EWmums

EWfood

ewmoda

mums without maids

11

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 06 February 2015 - 09:35

just trying to get a general feel, are there many mums out there who can manage their house and kids without a live in maid? I've got DS at school and DD at home (20 months) - thinking to send back my live in as she is playing up and just do things myself.

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1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 24 February 2015 - 00:15

Yes GB you are right about judgemental remarks, but if you look back on the thread many responses here are subsequent to a post by MF that inferred she considered it demeaning for a woman to do her own housework. [i'>".......not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work"[/i'> That remark was in itself judgemental. In my own opinion; the only demeaning thing is demeaning others for being different than you... I did not disagree with your opinion, was merely referring to the root cause of the replies. And if you read mine you will see it was not at all demeaning, rather advisory and respectful. Ops! I was just just affirming your point of view.... I haven't been here in a while and mybe I need to brush off the rust off my finger tips while typing lol

4000

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 23:13

Yes GB you are right about judgemental remarks, but if you look back on the thread many responses here are subsequent to a post by MF that inferred she considered it demeaning for a woman to do her own housework. [i'>".......not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work"[/i'> That remark was in itself judgemental. In my own opinion; the only demeaning thing is demeaning others for being different than you... I did not disagree with your opinion, was merely referring to the root cause of the replies. And if you read mine you will see it was not at all demeaning, rather advisory and respectful.

1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 23:09

Yes GB you are right about judgemental remarks, but if you look back on the thread many responses here are subsequent to a post by MF that inferred she considered it demeaning for a woman to do her own housework. [i'>".......not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work"[/i'> That remark was in itself judgemental. In my own opinion; the only demeaning thing is demeaning others for being different than you...

4000

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 22:47

Yes GB you are right about judgemental remarks, but if you look back on the thread many responses here are subsequent to a post by MF that inferred she considered it demeaning for a woman to do her own housework. [i'>".......not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work"[/i'> That remark was in itself judgemental.

1170

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 22:13

Did make me wonder when another forum was a newly pregnant mother to be putting hiring a maid as one of their top things to do on their maternity list?! So what? With no family support I do think it's quite important with some help. I came to Dubai with a baby and was not used to the maid scenario. Hubby wanted me to get a maid, but I refused for the first few months and I was totally knackered most of the time. My husband worked more than full time so was no help. I spent a lot of time crying with my baby. Based on the ratings, I would love to put in my five cent; When women will stop judging other based on they hire a maid or not, or they stay at home or have a career? Or having children or not? When women will really stop procecuting other for just being different? Is it a crime to not liking to fold the infinity laundry? Is it a crime to want to be a stay at home mum and not wanting to fold the endless loundry? Is it a crime to hire help just to be able to have time for herself? I don't think so! So why women put down other women for just wanting different things that you don't ? Or it's just pure nastiness puring over the keyboard and hiding behind a username?

179

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 21:48

I have a daughter 1 yr 10 months old and am 5 months pregnant and without a maid. I can't stand the thought of someone I don't know in on top of us, I know her work wouldn't be at the same standard as my own and wouldn't dream of letting her looking after my child. So there's no point getting one. Even though sometimes I do find it EXTREMELY hard. My husband (due to cultural reasons) does absolutely NOTHING in the house, leaves dirty clothes on the floor, changes clothes 3 times a day, likes all food made from scratch etc. If i complain he says he'll get a housemaid for me :s which he knows I don't want. My in-laws advised me to get a maid and i thought about it, until my brother-in-laws wife got one and they all said how lazy she was because she had only one child and a small apartment and got a maid! Can't win :D

11

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 February 2015 - 10:53

hi mommypie theres lots of nurseries you need to visit them to see which one you like the best and offers what your looking for, blossom, childrens oasis, willow are just a few of the many around…its tough and hard leaving your baby for sure but have a look and do some research on these places….usually you provide everything for your baby including bedding but the facilities looked quite clean and welcoming. then the live in option, which i personally from experience wouldn't prefer…i don't know for some reason i felt the nurseries offered a more professional approach where as with one nanny, i have trust issues. only saying so because I've seen nannies with babies some good and some not so at tentative and in short i couldn't deal with the doubt that she would be lying or taking advantage. i can't leave my kids easily with anyone and never have until recently and just didn't feel right. but then again were all different and you just have to go with what u feel is best for your family. the nurseries may cost more though because it is like paying schooling fees

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Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 17:46

mommypie, i think a lot of working parents look at putting their young ones into nursery care especially the ones for infants - 0-6 months rather than keep a live in nanny/maid. this way the baby is taken care of in accordance to the nurseries policy as well as working with you for what you prefer too. I've met maids who prefer newborns over older children simply because they are easier to manage and take care of, can't tell whats go on in the day etc. it's a really touch decision, personally i wouldn't be able to leave a newborn in anyones care and would try to manage the other expenses so i could be with the baby, but thats my opinion. Hi madam67! thanks for this tip. any nursery place that is highly reputable? I thought when I see nursery villas or establishments, they are schools? I'm just naive..we are new on this whole parent thing despite living in dubai for some time. I mean, we didn't ask or research much esp the nanny options yet..all we know is the live in nanny which is what most of our friends do and way too expensive! I would really love to stretch more of my time to bond with my new born but I am here in the UAE and maternity leave is limited as well the option of giving up my job is not on our cards in the family. Appreciate your feedback tho... As for moonflower, raising your daughter/s with knowledge on household chores is not a degrading thing nor a bad example. I sense discriminating views you have for those women who toil to do the 'dirty' work at their homes. Lucky that you are well provided for by your husband....but I hope in good faith that life will not strike back on you or your daughters when the 'sole' provider is gone...i hope you'll be able to keep up with your lifestyle.

11

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 16:56

mommypie, i think a lot of working parents look at putting their young ones into nursery care especially the ones for infants - 0-6 months rather than keep a live in nanny/maid. this way the baby is taken care of in accordance to the nurseries policy as well as working with you for what you prefer too. I've met maids who prefer newborns over older children simply because they are easier to manage and take care of, can't tell whats go on in the day etc. it's a really touch decision, personally i wouldn't be able to leave a newborn in anyones care and would try to manage the other expenses so i could be with the baby, but thats my opinion.

199

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 16:39

how about if you have a newborn and you need to be back to work after let's say, 90 days here in UAE? Cleaning the house and ironing and laundry we could bail it to the shop or agency cleaner. But having an infant with work to juggle, how did you manage it? I need to work along with my husband to manage our finances here in Dubai. It's too expensive :(

2

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 16:14

I used to have a full time maid (24/7) earlier, but now I only have one that comes in part time for chores that I feel are a waste of my time, and don't require too much of supervision and perfection. I am a perfection freak you see, but that is bad too, since I do not delegate easily. My earlier maid (the full time one), got married to a nice man and went back to her home country. She does email me occasionally and I know she is happy and doing well.

11

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 15:55

soooooooooooooooooo after discussing that things were not working out and giving her the option to either find a new employer or go back home, she started the waterworks and really just pleaded to stay with us for a year. I realize now I'd probably been better of with taking on regular part time help from an agency and kept on searching for the right provider, but since we've taken her on as a live in, didn't want to be unethical and kick her out, considering she 'wants' to give it a shot and improve on her weaker areas. she did portray herself as very hands on but I've realized she's positioned her self incorrectly, she's not as great with kids as she said or the experience she said she's had with children, because my kids still don't want her to help them yet are happy with assistance from other helpers - either way I feel it's my fault, wrong decision taken with the wrong person, so will have to bear the consequence of putting up with her until her contract ends or in short if things don't improve then homebound it is. I keep hearing that they are all the same. theres always drama and theres always going to be something, i keep getting little white lies from her too following our chat and am constantly having to make confrontations - I sound like I'm always on her case, probably am, but she repeatedly does things I've asked not to do. in short, she's failing to gain my trust. would it really be so wrong to give her the boot if she doesn't keep up to expectations? we're in a contract and have done her visa etc…she's been with us almost 2 months. and i know she wants to stay because she's got a fairly good package and at the moment I'm a SAHM.

804

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 17 February 2015 - 08:56

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 Exactly. Well said. I was raised in a pretty entitled environment with nanny/cleaners etc, but from the time I was 10, my mother would sort through the washing and separate mine apart from the rest. I would wash, hang it out, iron etc because she believed I should learn to take care of myself, and know how to do everything, which included every level of cleaning/hoovering/polishing/cleaning silver/raking the garden/cooking from scratch/sewing/knitting ... you name it. And I'm a better person for it. Moreover, I'd been 'helping out' with various household tasks since I could hold a dusting cloth. Raising one's daughter to be an entitled know-nothing spoiled princess is very possibly one of the worst things one can do. Same applies to sons. Self-reliance and the ability to cope with anything life throws at you is key to being an adult. I hesitate to mention the Beckham kids, but their oldest kid works in a local coffee shop for pocket money, and they've bought a second-hand clunker for him to learn to drive. They're teaching them the value of money and self-worth and that nothing is 'free'; you have to work for it. I reiterate: they'll be better adult human beings because of it.

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 21:52

On a serious note, we have a maid as this allows us to manage our time. DH and I have realised we cannot do it all on our own. Coming home to a clean house, with laundry done, and not having to worry about dishes means we can spend time as a family. Plus we need an adult home at the end of the school day, which is earlier than when we both finish work. If I was not working full time, it would be a different story, as I would be able to get cleaning/laundry done while the children are at school, and be with them in the afternoons. What works for one family may not work for another, so we all have to see what works for us and do what we think is best for our circumstances. That's all i'm saying! Life is too short to spend it cleaning up after yourself! <em>edited by MoonFlower582 on 16/02/2015</em>

203

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 11:31

I have 5 maids, as I would hate for my children to see me doing housework and think it is normal. Every day (since we have lots and lots of free time) I coach my girls on how to marry well. I also play the eur* millions so DS can inherit our winnings and provide the same for his future wife. :evil: On a serious note, we have a maid as this allows us to manage our time. DH and I have realised we cannot do it all on our own. Coming home to a clean house, with laundry done, and not having to worry about dishes means we can spend time as a family. Plus we need an adult home at the end of the school day, which is earlier than when we both finish work. If I was not working full time, it would be a different story, as I would be able to get cleaning/laundry done while the children are at school, and be with them in the afternoons. What works for one family may not work for another, so we all have to see what works for us and do what we think is best for our circumstances.

Doubting Thomas

2298

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 10:23

In my experience, the people who really do have money and class, don't talk about it....

keeperofthetrea...

94

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 10:16

Moonflower you were not raised particularly well, if you had you would not find the need to boast. Money you may (or may not) have but good breeding you have not and cannot buy. I suspect you are making everything up, is your castle and staff not keeping you busy?

146

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 02:45

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I am raising my daughters in the fashion in which I was raised, and I turned out just fine edited by MoonFlower582 on 15/02/2015 Oh please.....boasting on here will gain you no brownie points I can quite assure you....

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 00:06

Sadly that's not how it works - your thumbs are added up and then you automatically get a star at a certain amount edited by Doubting Thomas on 16/02/2015 O

Doubting Thomas

2298

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 00:04

Sadly that's not how it works - your thumbs are added up and then you automatically get a star at a certain amount <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 16/02/2015</em>

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 16 February 2015 - 00:02

Thanks to whomever gave it to me! a secret admirer perhaps? <em>edited by MoonFlower582 on 16/02/2015</em>

Doubting Thomas

2298

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 23:58

I hope it's jewel-encrusted !! lol

2287

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 23:49

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I am raising my daughters in the fashion of which I was raised, and I turned out just fine That's only your opinion :lol: One that's shared by more than just a few people I might add Apparently. On top of your tigercat you also received your first star today! Congrats :biggrin:

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 23:46

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I am raising my daughters in the fashion of which I was raised, and I turned out just fine That's only your opinion :lol: One that's shared by more than just a few people I might add

Doubting Thomas

2298

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 23:31

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I am raising my daughters in the fashion of which I was raised, and I turned out just fine That's only your opinion :lol:

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 23:29

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I am raising my daughters in the fashion in which I was raised, and I turned out just fine <em>edited by MoonFlower582 on 15/02/2015</em>

4000

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 22:26

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them. You are entitled to raise your daughters as you like of course, and I don't mean to be critical but how can you guarantee that even if they marry super wealthy men that something could not possibly happen to affect their wealth? If they are raised to only expect to be served by maids they will be ill prepared to deal with any eventually that might heaven forbid change their circumstances. Even the Queen of England was taught how to sweep, mop, clean and dust as a young girl, does she ever need to do these things, no, but actually she chooses to sometimes to when she is on her private vacations so she can enjoy a bit of privacy away from servants. She also regularly walks her dogs herself as well. Just my opinion, I do not deny you yours, and I wish you all the best. <em>edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015</em>

MoonFlower582104519

56

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 22:04

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015 I would like for them to one day marry men that can properly provide for them.

4000

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 15 February 2015 - 11:40

You simply cannot put a price on three to four hours a day everyday, not to mention the bad example I'd be setting for my girls by doing that kind of work How would taking care of your own home yourself be setting a bad example to your girls? I would have thought the opposite to be true, many choose to do their own housework out of preference, and for whatever reason there's nothing demeaning in doing so. <em>edited by chezmoi on 15/02/2015</em>

keeperofthetrea...

94

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 February 2015 - 14:00

We have part time and send the ironing out too, unless we had a very large home or I were working full time I think part time agency maids is the way to go. We are lucky to have had ours for several years and I trust her, I sometimes get tempted to take her on because we spend as much as full time all in all. I grew up (back home in London) with full time or live in help but for some reason here I find the maids have so much more drama than back there. I think they are a) a lot less experienced then by the time they get to Europe and b) pray on women who until they came here never had home help, and therefore take advantage. Of course the opposite is true and there is appauling behaviour to some maids but that is another conversation.

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