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Has anyone Gotten Divorced Here?

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 16:00

I need to file for divorce. At least get it started. I will go first thing tomorrow morning, just need to know exactly where, what documents, etc.

I've no idea how it works here but I've never worked here, so I'm not planning on hiring an attorney. They have to be expensive and I've got no family support, financial or otherwise.

Thanks if anybody can offer a starting point.
<em>edited by Cherpie on 22/02/2015</em>

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5452

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 26 October 2015 - 08:55

Has anyone heard from Cherpie recently?

21

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 October 2015 - 23:03

Sherow, I wish I could help u...The only thing I can do is to listen to u...if u need someone, I am here for u... Be strong..

1010

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 25 October 2015 - 18:40

Sherow I don't have any advice for you but what a horrible situation to find yourself in. Do you have some support around you?

gryffindornerd6

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 25 October 2015 - 16:11

Hi Cherpie! I found this article here on EW and I think these are the questions you needed to be answered. Hope this helps! http://www.expatwoman.com/dubai/monthly_finance_legal_tws_legal_consultants_divorce_uae_15698.aspx

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 25 October 2015 - 12:12

Cherpie, has your situation improved?I hope you are doing well after reading this thread...

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 October 2015 - 19:41

Sorry to intrude on this thread, I am married too, recently my husband said that he does not want the marriage or relationship and that was after i found out i am prgnant. four months now. i got a house which he paid for the first cheque half. He doesnt come to that house and is still staying with his friends in a shared room. he says he dow not want to end his "free life" Next cheque is next month which i dont know if he will pay. We have not talked for a month now. Should i file for divorce? How does that work if i am pregnant? please advise me.

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EW GURU

Latest post on 24 February 2015 - 13:11

I have been there, true there are free counsellors and the one I saw was a woman. However, I was told i have to either follow sharia law or obtain legal counsel from my home country in order to apply their laws. If I were granted divorce I have no legal status here and seriously doubt I'd find a job while on a tourist visa, so he'd have the right to keep them here while I'd be without status. Basically I would need permission to take my kids out of UAE, without that, I'd be violating some international custody laws from what I understand. If I did retain a lawyer, the whole thing could backfire as the father has other passports for the children and if he can get them physically away from me, he can whisk them away any minute.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 February 2015 - 12:21

If you wish to get a divorce by sharia law then you will need to have your marriage certificate, you passport with you. You will not be given a divorce, there is an approbation period. Your husband will be called and both of you will be put through a discussion. After the set time period you can apply for a divorce, in this case if you are a sole dependent on your husband and you have his visa you may get 3 months accommodation. However most likely you will not get anything. If you have kids, and he proves to be a better supporter for the children he can get custody if he wishes. If you are leaving your husband for another man and your husband will have evidence of your unlawful behaviour you can be put in jail. I'm sorry I do not know your full situation thus Im covering the worst case scenarios. You should consider getting a consultation with a lawyer in order to know exactly where you stand. Good Luck, and dont lose strength! sorry i dont agree with the information above ..i am a muslim woman who asked for a divorced with my ex husband..sharia law actually protects the woman..i applied for what is known as khula ..i had gone to dubai courts ( maktoum bridge ) met the counsellors who were more than happy to assist .. according to sharia below the age of 12 the children will be with the mum irregardless if she is working or not !! end of !! please see a counsellor - its really straight forward !! let me know if you need my assistance ~!

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EW GURU

Latest post on 24 February 2015 - 11:31

Cherpie ..you are welcome. Also, I still don't always manage but what I found best is I if can "accept" the way things are. I don't mean this in a weak, passive way but when I have attempted to get any points across I find it is futile and all I do is wind up upsetting myself and feeling even more trapped. As much as possible, I accepted that I needed " to do my time" so as to speak. I cope by keeping very busy, plenty hobbies, I also give myself small, inexpensive treats even if it's just buying a cheap mag. Getting up to date with studying and keeping my mind active has also helped a lot and hopefully should make it easier to return to the workplace. Even if you just keep up to date with computing skills. There are some interesting group talks etc on Meetup etc ( I know childcare is probably an issue at the minute but perhaps when school age.). I find these help me meet other people and gain more perspective. If possible look at starting meditation or yoga . If you can't get out to classes there are a lot of online classes. Several "big names" in the meditation world etc run a couple of weeks free meditation. I will post when I see the next one. Once kids are school age then it might be worth looking for a parttime job, usually jobs are going in schools which fit around the kids. This would assist you in becoming independent, would boost confidence and get you out and about meeting people and probably allow you to squirrel money away. Good luck x <em>edited by Buddha on 24/02/2015</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 21:24

Cherpie - if at any time in the next few weeks (I am moving to Bahrain with DH job) you decide 'to take the children out for a day or evening' however, wish to 'let your hair down' and go out with friends or for time on your own, please let me know and I can be there in a flash. I am a qualified child minder from the UK and a mother of two myself. As in a famous advert 'in UK from 1980's' (look up on Google if not sure) - I can be there 'anytime, anyplace, anywhere'... uae newbie at g mail. Hugs to you and the children... You are never alone.... x <em>edited by JEAHH45 on 23/02/2015</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 21:24

Cherpie - if at any time in the next few weeks (I am moving to Bahrain with DH job) you decide 'to take the children out for a day or evening' however, wish to 'let your hair down' and go out with friends or for time on your own, please let me know and I can be there in a flash. I am a qualified child minder from the UK and a mother of two myself. As in a famous advert 'advert in UK' (look up on Google if not sure) - I can be there 'anytime, anyplace, anywhere'... uae newbie at g mail. Hugs to you and the children... x

674

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EW GURU

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 20:49

Buddha your response is awesome and means a lot to me. Thank you. I've been saving money bit by bit and you're right, it adds up. Although I have a good education, I wanted to do some classes actually so I'll look into that. My LO is potty training at present so that's a full day. But if and when that's under control I've got some hobby things set aside. Best wishes to you as well. Really thanks to everyone, strangely I feel like I'm less "alone" than even just yesterday....

553

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EW GURU

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 19:29

I really feel for you. I understand when you say you feel trapped and no way out. I know many people will say things along the lines of " if you really want out, you will" but I know that in some situations it isn't that easy. I'm very envious of those who can find a way and no it isn't making excuses when some of us can't "get out" (Sometimes I find those sorts of comments almost as hard to deal with as the feeling of being trapped). Cherpie, all I can suggest is keep speaking to and meeting friends. Make every effort to keep up hobbies and do things for yourself and that you enjoy. Give yourself little treats from time to time. I know it might sound silly when you are so unhappy but what I did and really helped was to buy myself a little notebook. Every night before I go to bed I write down three things that I am thankful for or that made me happy...small things but it means I go to sleep thinking of good things and not the bad things. I can't remember if you are working or not but maybe if not then do some home study so that when your kids are older it will be easier for you to become independent. ( www.coursera.com do a lot of free online courses). Kids do grow up quickly..it seems like no time since mine were babies and I felt hopelessly trapped but now they are almost old enough that I can extricate myself...on one level time goes slowly but on other level it has flown by. If possible attempt to stash a little bit of money, even if you just start collecting AED20 notes...keep this as your nest egg, escape plan. Is there any support at all to be had from your family? I know I have none, so again I understand if none is forthcoming. I wish you all the very best .will be watching to see how you get on.

674

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EW GURU

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 18:10

Thank you Anon & SDogg Its ok, at least I do feel better being on the forum. I was able to FB a few of my family members, I think they're starting to understand a bit more.

5499

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 17:41

I wish we could do more to help you :(

5452

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EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 16:42

Very exhausting day unfortunately. I thought about it and decided this government is probably the last thing I want to get more involved in so I did approach embassy and recommended legal consult. My options, minimal unless a. Pony up bunch of money b. Prepare to take drastic measures and potentially severe consequences later. It is what it is and I'm pretty much stuck. Hi Cherpie! If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you. I can't help you with your issues but I can listen to you.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 16:35

Can't advice anything except that I really wish you strength in this trying stage of your life. Hope all will work out for the best and that you'll be able to be get the answers asap.

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 16:05

Very exhausting day unfortunately. I thought about it and decided this government is probably the last thing I want to get more involved in so I did approach embassy and recommended legal consult. My options, minimal unless a. Pony up bunch of money b. Prepare to take drastic measures and potentially severe consequences later. It is what it is and I'm pretty much stuck.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 12:46

Cherpie, I have followed your story for a while and I don't think you should go anywhere near a government building or court until you have received legal advice, I think your position, particularly in relation to the custody of your children is precarious.

5499

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 23 February 2015 - 06:56

Sorry to trot out the usual, but are yours and the kids' passports somewhere safe where he can't get them?

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 22:30

Thanks I've followed leaves Dubai now

1097

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 22:29

As someone else recommended, http://www.leavesdubai.com, maybe you can get some advice from them. Good luck, I hope you can find a solution to get out of the marriage with your kids.

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 22:19

There is no way I'm getting to my home country, not even an option.

553

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 22:04

I suggest you speak to someone on Leaves Dubai Facebook group. They are very helpful and will give free advice. You DEF can divorce out here as I know a few who have but I believe it was rather costly and I don't think they had custody issues. As another person says you may be better going to your home country and doing it from there. There are pros and cons for both options.

GirlAnachronism35688

1039

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EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 20:55

You should speak to a lawyer - there was one here who did a free clinic once a week, I'll try to find the details. You may be able to apply through the courts in your home country but I'm not sure if/how custody judgements could be enforced here. Agree with the suggestion of going to the court for advice but you have to go early at opening time. All the best to you - life is too short to spend it being unhappy and despite the rather popular "stick at it for the kids" advice, no child wants an unhappy mum and dad.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 20:40

Please look up Leaves Dubai on Facebook. It is a support group and speaking from experience was of great help to me. They gave me good advice and definitely steered me in the right direction. Good luck!

162

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 20:28

Cherpie, can you take the kids on holiday back to your home country and file for divorce from there? I don't have any experience I'm afraid but it seems like this might be one way to start proceedings and still keep custody of your children on firmer ground so to speak?

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 20:01

If you had a civil marriage rules are totally different for divorce. Talk to your embassy and let them find you a lawyer before going to the court. Good luck

674

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 19:45

Editing for clarification, apparently the divorce decree would be easily obtained but anything pertaining to custody, no. I just thought if I could try to start getting things straightened out here it might be easier for the future. But he's not going to comply in any way. I heard they don't even have to grant you a divorce and with a reluctant, uncooperative, manipulative party involved with language and religion on his side.... Yeah I swear I'm in dead water. Really disappointing. Now I can totally see why everybody thinks Im just willing to put up with this.

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EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 22 February 2015 - 18:44

Cherpie, sorry that you're going through a very tough and stressful time. I have friends (non-Muslims) who have divorced in the UAE. There are a lot of misconceptions and rumours about what happens, who gets what, etc. I suggest you go down to the Dubai Court (the Family Matters Section, as you mentioned) and ask to speak to a counselor/judge who will be able to advise you on the procedure. In my friends' cases, it was fairly straightforward, but both parties needed to be present and agree to the divorce (i.e. you can't do it yourself - of if you do, it gets more complicated). Don't think of worst case scenarios just yet. You will get independent advice, free of charge, about the process from the Court officials. Since the divorce decree is issued by the Court, I don't see why it wouldn't be valid in your home country, or anywhere else in the world! You will simply have to get it translated into English and authenticated. All the best and don't fear, just take yourself down to the Dubai Court next to Maktoum Bridge and ask. BTW, parking is a nightmare so either go early in the morning (7am) or take a cab.

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