What do I do?

AM 86 I wish you well, yes it seems like we are are giving you worst picture but believe me Dubai is not as worldly wise as we would like to think it is - it has tested most of us to the limit at some time. I am an ex RAF wife and thought that after 23 years with a husband in several war zones had thrown everything it had to give me, but Dubai had thrown several new curved balls. As others have said nothing is black and white those grey areas are everywhere - chill, if this is what you really want then jump through the hoops you need to, if you have any doubts then life will be a challenge - you can't change it (even if you think it's unjustified and unfair) Dubai is here for its own reasons - embrace them or let go, personally we've loved it (battle scars and all) but it's not for everyone Good luck with your planning - there are a good core of ladies on this forum who offer honest and true advice - take it x

AM86 in a few of your post it seems you are a bit impatient with the replies you have got. A number of long time residents and contributors to the forum have given you honest opinions and answers to your questions. This advice is invaluable. Believe me we all know just how stressful it can be and yes I am sure some of the information maybe is not what you want to hear. You will find out that there is seldom one hard and fast rule in DXB and you will get different info from different departments about the same issue ! The advice you got to work through the PRO is your best option. I guess what I am saying is don't shoot the messengers. Personally I would take a step back ,take the extreme urgency out of getting everything done as quickly as possible. It is a big step your are anticipating. It is all do able but the sequence is important to ensure that your first expat experience is as smooth as it can possibly be. <em>edited by Nomad on 01/04/2015</em>

I agree with Beebers here, in that given the issues you have I would let your partner come here first, work through the probation period, come and visit him with the children and then see how it goes. Things change here in a second and he or all of you might decide that it's not for you. Better to be apart for a few months and be sure, than to relocate and then decide the place, job etc is not for you. On the marriage front, it would be far easier for you to do it in the UK than to wait and do it here - bearing in mind that your partners company can do nothing about sponsoring you or the children until you are married and you can't hang about on visit visas given your current situation.

Well I don't know if we will cope with expat life because I've never been an expat, [b'>it is a stable relationship else I wouldn't have thought about relocating with my children[/b'>. The children will have regular contact with their fathers, I'm trying my very hardest not to breakdown their relationships but I felt this was an amazing opportunity. I am getting everything in written confirmation from the company for when I present myself to the judge. Whether it's been budgeted or not to come back to the UK it has to happen regardless. AM, in your OP, you said there were no thoughts of getting married until you heard about the visa situation here being problematic (actually, impossible) for unmarried partners. Not trying to sound judgmental, but amazing opportunity or not, I personally wouldn't marry anyone just to be able to move to Dubai. Perhaps see how things play out in the next 6 months? For one, make sure your partner's job works out here and is [i'>stable[/i'> while you sort out the custody issues back home? Your partner can always fly into the UK where you could get married, if that is what you truly want to do? Just some thoughts.

Here is a link to the formalities of getting married in Dubai http://www.government.ae/en/web/guest/getting-married-in-the-uae Seems like it would be easier home in the UK. Hope this helps

Just came across this info too from gov.uk (see sponsoring family members link): [url=https://www.gov.uk/living-in-the-united-arab-emirates#sponsoring-family-members'>link[/url'>

Here's a link to an article published in the local newspaper Gulf News about the procedure for sponsoring stepchildren: [url=http://gulfnews.com/guides/family/getting-visa-for-a-stepchild-1.440558'>link[/url'> It was published some time ago and things may have changed slightly since then, but it echoes what the ladies have been saying above. Also good advice to have your partner speak to his company's PRO (public relations officer) who deals with the immigration authorities on behalf of the company's employees, and often assists with their family visas too.

Do the fathers have an active and positive interest in their children's lives? Do they contribute financially on a proven and regular basis? Does the father who is contesting custody and the move have a god relationship with the child and is not deemed abusive in any way? If so then you may have a very difficult task ahead re court. Tallybalt has set out the procedure. You have to be married before coming out, getting married here is not an option. All paper work has to be in place to gain visas and school places, for medical to be valid etc. I would ask you to think very carefully about this whole situation, have you been with this partner a long time? Is the relationship very stable? Have you thought about the long term effects of the children’s fathers not being in regular contact with their children? Will you and your relationship cope with expat life? Have you budgeted for trips for the children back to the uK to see their fathers? <em>edited by Lolacat on 31/03/2015</em>

The company are aware of the biological status of the children and they still offered him the job with education and health allowance. I wasn't aware that the father had to write a letter, we were advised that permission from the judge with an undertaking that I get the order 'mirrored' in the UAE would be what we would need. Now I'm even more anxious I won't be able to relocate I strongly recommend you contact your companies PRO (it's a known position here) and get them to sort it ahead of time. A good one can move things in the right direction (or at least give you a definitive answer) and they are the only people who can give you the RIGHT advice. This forum is useful but is always opinion, some well informed, some well intentioned guesswork. The company can arrange for you to come out for a week and spend that time with the PRO and/or take a phone call with them ahead of time. It's P-R-O not Pro (I mades this mistake when I moved here and no one knew what i was talking about!)

Even if you get the custody issue sorted out - you also need to check out whether your partner's salary and benefits package would be extended to step-sons regarding benefits such as housing, health insurance and schooling. These would be a substantial additional cost for a family

Your problem isn't so much getting married but that the father of one of your children is fighting you taking him out of the country. I don't think it matters what the UK judge may say. Because the child is not a biological child of your partner, the UAE will not allow him to be sponsored by your partner, even after you marry, until they receive a letter from the child's father granting permission to take him out of the country. This letter needs to be signed and notarized by both the British and UAE authorities. Will the UK judge order your child's father to prepare such a letter? I have a feeling they can't force him to do so, and even if they did, he could easily separately notify the UAE authorities it was done against his will and they can reject the sponsorship. The UAE operates under Sharia law and according to Sharia law, the son belongs to his father's family, not his mother's family, once he reaches a certain age (I think it's either six or eight). It's a very peculiar concept for a boy to be raised by a man who is not his biological father, or his father's family . Every now and then custody disputes between a Western woman and a local man blows up and can be very nasty, which is why someone married to a local and in a failing marriage is often urged to get herself and her children out of the country as soon as possible before the father exercises his legal (in the UAE) rights over the children. If you tried going down the route of finding your own job and getting your own sponsorship separate from your partner to avoid getting married, you still have the issue of getting the father's permission, let alone the chancy difficulties of being unmarried and attempting to sponsor children born out of wedlock. Also be aware that if your partner's company is providing school fees and health insurance, they will not provide them to children who are not directly sponsored by him. Before you make any move to the UAE you must get the custody issue sorted out and permission from the father. And, no, don't wait till after moving here to get married. It's a whole set of headaches living in the UAE unmarried with children because they will not be able to get sponsorship as long as you're unmarried, which means they cannot enrol in any schools or nursery. edited by Tallybalt on 31/03/2015 <em>edited by Tallybalt on 31/03/2015</em>

Anxiousmummy86, with regards to your own visa, you have two options: 1. Marry your partner before you move to Dubai and he can then sponsor you as his wife. Without being married, this isn't possible. As his wife, you will get a 3 year (renewable) residence visa. If you choose this route, don't forget to attest your marriage docs in the UK before you move to Dubai. 2. Find a full time job in Dubai and have your employer sponsor you. You will also get a 3 year residence visa. This is the harder option, plus if you go down this route and decide to live with your partner unmarried, you are taking a risk because de-facto marriages are not legal in the UAE. That's not to say that people don't do it, but just be aware of the risk and the consequences of 'getting caught'. Once you have your visa sorted, you can organise your kids' visas. Both fathers must give their consent and, again, make sure all the docs related to this are attested, etc. After you have the consent, you will be able to sponsor them and organise their residence visas. If you and your partner get married, he MAY be able to sponsor them, but don't quote me on that. I'm guessing that may be possible. Otherwise, you would be their sponsor. Getting a residence visa is a very straightforward process, provided you have all of the required documents with attestations. Good luck!

Who will sponsor your children? ( Usually the Men do but he cannot as you aren't married) You need permission from one of the Fathers or it is not going to happen I personally would never risk living with my partner and my children without being married here as it can cause a whole world of serious problems. You need to sort the one Father permission issue out and then get married After that it will be easy If you are married or single with no kids obtaining a visa is simple Good Luck <em>edited by sarahlou123 on 31/03/2015</em>