Problems with my maid! Am I going crazy? | ExpatWoman.com
 

Problems with my maid! Am I going crazy?

10
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:17

Please help me I feel like I am going nuts

I am a western mum and I work full time and I have had a maid for the last 18 months and we have had a very good relationship. She currently works from 8:00am to 6:00pm and takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. She has Fridays off and works for about two or 3 hours on Saturday. We have one son (6 years old) and he is usually at school from 6:45 to 2:45pm each day and is currently in summer camp. We live in a small 2 bedroom villa. I have assigned her cleaning duties during the day while my son is at school and ask her to take him to the park or pool for 90 minutes each afternoon. Recently she has stopped doing things that I would expect her to do and often require prompting to do things that are within her daily duties. I came home yesterday afternoon and she was sleeping at 3pm. When I woke her she angrily told me that she didn’t finish her work until 1pm. We pay her extra on top of her usually agency salary (hired through an agency) and we treat her very well. After sitting down with her last night, she indicated that the work is too much and we expect too much from her and that her hours are too long. She claims that she doesn’t have enough time to complete her cleaning each day. She has also said that we don’t see how hard she works (despite thanking her regularly and telling her how much we appreciate her). She said last night that she doesn’t know if she wants to continue working for us. This has all come out of the blue and I feel like I am going crazy. Is what I am asking her to do unreasonable? I can’t imagine her finding an easier maids job (small house/one child at school) unless it was for a working couple with no children. I would really appreciate some insight and advice. I don’t know how to rectify the situation and we really don’t want to lose her. She great with my son and she is a very good maid.

10
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 July 2015 - 10:50
I think there may be some truth to the fact that she may have a "better offer". I sat down with her and very calmly outlined what my expectations are in terms of her duties and gave her a detailed list of what she needs to do each day/week/month and she has ignored about 25% of the things on the list. It's very frustrating but my husband doesn't want to rock the boat, because my son loves her and he doesn't want the hassle of finding another maid. I just know that I really need help and I don't have time to be cleaning my fridge (which is what I was doing over the weekend) when I work full time.
444
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 20 July 2015 - 10:25
my maid full time live in, wakes up at 7,30, clean 2 cars and then she has 1 hr rest; then she cleans the house, at 12,30 she has lunch and sleep until 5,00 pm; OFF on Fridays and holidays;no pets, no children! in the afternoon 1 hr to clean outside area then...ironing ...when necessary...then watching television ....reading, talking on the mobile... we are not having lunch at home, dinner at home 2-3 days only per week; before I was giving salary and buying for her food+toiletry but as we are never at home and I'm going few times in a month to supermarket, then I've increased salary with food/toiletry allowance and I told her to buy want she needs. and she is not happy! 6 years with my Indonesian maid with no problems ...with this one ( Philippino)...I'm only waiting that contract expires...
4
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 July 2015 - 02:41
Please help me I feel like I am going nuts I am a western mum and I work full time and I have had a maid for the last 18 months and we have had a very good relationship. She currently works from 8:00am to 6:00pm and takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. She has Fridays off and works for about two or 3 hours on Saturday. We have one son (6 years old) and he is usually at school from 6:45 to 2:45pm each day and is currently in summer camp. We live in a small 2 bedroom villa. I have assigned her cleaning duties during the day while my son is at school and ask her to take him to the park or pool for 90 minutes each afternoon. Recently she has stopped doing things that I would expect her to do and often require prompting to do things that are within her daily duties. I came home yesterday afternoon and she was sleeping at 3pm. When I woke her she angrily told me that she didn’t finish her work until 1pm. We pay her extra on top of her usually agency salary (hired through an agency) and we treat her very well. After sitting down with her last night, she indicated that the work is too much and we expect too much from her and that her hours are too long. She claims that she doesn’t have enough time to complete her cleaning each day. She has also said that we don’t see how hard she works (despite thanking her regularly and telling her how much we appreciate her). She said last night that she doesn’t know if she wants to continue working for us. This has all come out of the blue and I feel like I am going crazy. Is what I am asking her to do unreasonable? I can’t imagine her finding an easier maids job (small house/one child at school) unless it was for a working couple with no children. I would really appreciate some insight and advice. I don’t know how to rectify the situation and we really don’t want to lose her. She great with my son and she is a very good maid. Mat29, does the agency you hired your live in maid starts with E ? Yes Apr04 it does! My husband works from home (he is not always there) so he sees her working during the day Maybe you should have a real talk with your hubby and try to understand what's going on. Your maid will continue disrespecting because your husband who's supposed to protect you but he's given her green light which is odd
4
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 July 2015 - 02:41
Please help me I feel like I am going nuts I am a western mum and I work full time and I have had a maid for the last 18 months and we have had a very good relationship. She currently works from 8:00am to 6:00pm and takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. She has Fridays off and works for about two or 3 hours on Saturday. We have one son (6 years old) and he is usually at school from 6:45 to 2:45pm each day and is currently in summer camp. We live in a small 2 bedroom villa. I have assigned her cleaning duties during the day while my son is at school and ask her to take him to the park or pool for 90 minutes each afternoon. Recently she has stopped doing things that I would expect her to do and often require prompting to do things that are within her daily duties. I came home yesterday afternoon and she was sleeping at 3pm. When I woke her she angrily told me that she didn’t finish her work until 1pm. We pay her extra on top of her usually agency salary (hired through an agency) and we treat her very well. After sitting down with her last night, she indicated that the work is too much and we expect too much from her and that her hours are too long. She claims that she doesn’t have enough time to complete her cleaning each day. She has also said that we don’t see how hard she works (despite thanking her regularly and telling her how much we appreciate her). She said last night that she doesn’t know if she wants to continue working for us. This has all come out of the blue and I feel like I am going crazy. Is what I am asking her to do unreasonable? I can’t imagine her finding an easier maids job (small house/one child at school) unless it was for a working couple with no children. I would really appreciate some insight and advice. I don’t know how to rectify the situation and we really don’t want to lose her. She great with my son and she is a very good maid. Mat29, does the agency you hired your live in maid starts with E ? Yes Apr04 it does! My husband works from home (he is not always there) so he sees her working during the day. Maybe you should have a real talk with your hubby and try to understand what's going on. Your maid will continue disrespecting because your husband who's supposed to protect you but he's given her green light which is odd
260
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 July 2015 - 15:30
Egg, I've never done any shopping for my maids; they get a decent wage and should buy their own food, toiletries etc. from their salary, preferably in their own time. I can't see what advantage it would give me as an employer to waste my time doing the maid's shopping for her, unless she's ill. Perhaps think about doing things differently with your next maid soy don't have the shopping list hassle.
Anonymous (not verified)
0
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 July 2015 - 12:23
She has seen a kind western woman and is taking advantage. Most maids who work for others work 24x7 with only an occasional day off; they usually have a large family to look after as well as a larger home; they cook as well as all their cleaning and child minding duties. She is just plain naughty and needs to be put in her place. You are working hard and you expect her to do likewise. She is a spoilt maid; she certainly wouldn't manage my large family. Get tough with her.
1052
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 July 2015 - 11:12
No she writes me a shopping list each week of what food stuff she needs, I also get her basic toiletries such as shower cream and body lotion, but recently she's started writing which particular brand of whitening lotion she wants and asking for allsorts of stuff, I just give her back the list and tell her those are luxury items and if she wants them she has to pay for them herself, they are +150 aed that she is asking for, I already pay her a decent salary and were not hard work to clean up after. Her contract expires in October. :-)
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 July 2015 - 05:42
Mat, what's the update? Egg, do the face creams end up in your trolley or do you say no? How long do you have to wait until her contract is up?
1052
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 July 2015 - 22:11
I'm sick of mine at minute too, I have (guilty) been far too soft and let the boundaries of employer/employee get crossed. I have made decision that come renewal it wont be getting renewed. She moved MY kitchen around not once but twice without saying/asking, rearranged all my cupboards, continually asks for luxury face creams on her weekly shopping list (stuff I wouldn't even buy myself), must have lots of hair I cant see the amount of shampoo she goes through!! Enough is enough, I will be tough egg with the next one! I would say to her if she doesn't like it, she can find a new employer, I have had only 2 maids since I was here, no issue with the first, my kids also adored her, but they moved on and whilst this one is good, I am just finding that she is annoying me more and more with the things she does and the attitude. You will find another one who is good with your kids. Good luck.
267
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 July 2015 - 20:58
Mat29 If you would like to chat let me know. i have few year old experiance with E agency as a customer,
Anonymous (not verified)
0
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 08 July 2015 - 14:57
Definitely sounds as if she has her own agenda. There are two possibilities: 1. she is working outside during the day while you are at work and she "sleeping". 2. she has another offer, better salary etc and wants to be fired or given a raise. Either way, she is not doing her work. Either she shapes up or ships out!!! I have no tolerance for maids anymore.
1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 15:44
What does DH say with regards to her sleeping at odd hours, and not completing the daily duties that she is supposed to do. If he's home surely it is easier for him to monitor and he must notice that she is flat out snoring when she is supposed to be hoovering?
10
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 15:39
What makes you think that would be possible mat? Nothing really - there is absolutely no evidence of that. Just being paranoid as he is home with her all day and seems to always defend her rather than support me, which of course is adding to the sense that I feel like I am crazy.
1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 14:55
What makes you think that would be possible mat?
10
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 14:48
Please help me I feel like I am going nuts I am a western mum and I work full time and I have had a maid for the last 18 months and we have had a very good relationship. She currently works from 8:00am to 6:00pm and takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. She has Fridays off and works for about two or 3 hours on Saturday. We have one son (6 years old) and he is usually at school from 6:45 to 2:45pm each day and is currently in summer camp. We live in a small 2 bedroom villa. I have assigned her cleaning duties during the day while my son is at school and ask her to take him to the park or pool for 90 minutes each afternoon. Recently she has stopped doing things that I would expect her to do and often require prompting to do things that are within her daily duties. I came home yesterday afternoon and she was sleeping at 3pm. When I woke her she angrily told me that she didn’t finish her work until 1pm. We pay her extra on top of her usually agency salary (hired through an agency) and we treat her very well. After sitting down with her last night, she indicated that the work is too much and we expect too much from her and that her hours are too long. She claims that she doesn’t have enough time to complete her cleaning each day. She has also said that we don’t see how hard she works (despite thanking her regularly and telling her how much we appreciate her). She said last night that she doesn’t know if she wants to continue working for us. This has all come out of the blue and I feel like I am going crazy. Is what I am asking her to do unreasonable? I can’t imagine her finding an easier maids job (small house/one child at school) unless it was for a working couple with no children. I would really appreciate some insight and advice. I don’t know how to rectify the situation and we really don’t want to lose her. She great with my son and she is a very good maid. Mat29, does the agency you hired your live in maid starts with E ? Yes Apr04 it does! My husband works from home (he is not always there) so he sees her working during the day.
1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 14:36
working elsewhere during daytime hours (which is why cleaning at home has gone downhill)
4062
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 14:32
Def working on the side. Has likely also been offered "her own visa" or has friends doing this and has seen how she can rake it in having multiple jobs. The OP has said she's home at night so are you thinking evening webcam action or (the rather more boring) morning part time cleaning elsewhere? Mat29, have you checked she is definitely at your home working in the morning?
1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 14:23
Def working on the side. Has likely also been offered "her own visa" or has friends doing this and has seen how she can rake it in having multiple jobs.
1285
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 13:58
Alternatively maybe she's just bone idle and taking you for a ride. Yup - bone idle
267
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 13:06
Please help me I feel like I am going nuts I am a western mum and I work full time and I have had a maid for the last 18 months and we have had a very good relationship. She currently works from 8:00am to 6:00pm and takes a two hour nap in the middle of the day. She has Fridays off and works for about two or 3 hours on Saturday. We have one son (6 years old) and he is usually at school from 6:45 to 2:45pm each day and is currently in summer camp. We live in a small 2 bedroom villa. I have assigned her cleaning duties during the day while my son is at school and ask her to take him to the park or pool for 90 minutes each afternoon. Recently she has stopped doing things that I would expect her to do and often require prompting to do things that are within her daily duties. I came home yesterday afternoon and she was sleeping at 3pm. When I woke her she angrily told me that she didn’t finish her work until 1pm. We pay her extra on top of her usually agency salary (hired through an agency) and we treat her very well. After sitting down with her last night, she indicated that the work is too much and we expect too much from her and that her hours are too long. She claims that she doesn’t have enough time to complete her cleaning each day. She has also said that we don’t see how hard she works (despite thanking her regularly and telling her how much we appreciate her). She said last night that she doesn’t know if she wants to continue working for us. This has all come out of the blue and I feel like I am going crazy. Is what I am asking her to do unreasonable? I can’t imagine her finding an easier maids job (small house/one child at school) unless it was for a working couple with no children. I would really appreciate some insight and advice. I don’t know how to rectify the situation and we really don’t want to lose her. She great with my son and she is a very good maid. Mat29, does the agency you hired your live in maid starts with E ?
8965
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 12:01
Does she fast? I would love to work from 8am-4pm ( that's what she does with a 2 hour sleep) I could understand if she worked 12 hours a day 6 days a week
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:58
Alternatively maybe she's just bone idle and taking you for a ride.
1285
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:57
No she is live-in and doesn't go out in the evenings usually (only for an hour if she does). So she is definitely not doing night work. She does always seem to be angling for more money (from me). Then she's just very cheeky and spoilt. What is your husbands take on this?
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:53
No she is live-in and doesn't go out in the evenings usually (only for an hour if she does). So she is definitely not doing night work. She does always seem to be angling for more money (from me). Does she have any health problems that might be making her so tired? Could she be spending all night online? It doesn't seem normal to need a two hour nap during the day unless she is up all night for some reason.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:49
No she is live-in and doesn't go out in the evenings usually (only for an hour if she does). So she is definitely not doing night work. She does always seem to be angling for more money (from me).
1285
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:38
Her workload sounds fairly light. Is she live in? If not, I'd be guessing that she's working another job in the evenings and that is why she is struggling during the day. hmmm yes you're right Daza, this could be the case. If so, I think that's illegal and very cheeky. I would be having a firm word and telling her don't ever dare to think you can work at night and then slack off on your day job with this attitude. But then that's just me :biggrin:
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:34
Her workload sounds fairly light. Is she live in? If not, I'd be guessing that she's working another job in the evenings and that is why she is struggling during the day.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 07 July 2015 - 11:30
She's taking you for a ride!! I don't know anyone who works such short hours and gets to nap during their work day. When I was young, I was desperate to work and despite being very very sick and in constant chronic pain, I worked 8-16 hour days, sometimes 6 days a week and it was hard physical labour. I never had a chance to stand still for one second during my work hours. But I had responsibilities and bills to pay. She's taking advantage of your kindness and it sounds like you may have blurred the employer/employee boundaries, which is so easy to do. I've done it myself and have paid for it with our maid - we just replaced her and will be doing things very differently. I hope you can work something out with her, or get a new one and start fresh with boundaries and realistic expectations (she needs to get real, not you!! and you need to let her know that from the start) I'm doing this myself, my new maid started today and while I'm polite and friendly, I'm also going to try to maintain that boundary and when I ask for something to be done, check that it was indeed done. Things like that. I really wish you luck - you're not going nuts!!
 
 

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