Marital strife

I know exactly what you mean, and add children to the equation - drama! It's the little things that irritate us the most, and then it all blows up. Everything is intensified because the family unit becomes more concentrated when you become everything to each other. No family and friends around to distill things. The part of my co-dependence on my husband I hate the most is the fact I have 'housewife' written on my ID! And don't get me started on the letter of permission I needed from my husband to get my driver's license.

I totally agree with you both. In my case, we also have a lot of stress regarding the stability of my husband's job. At home, if he lost his job, it would be difficult, but we would keep our house, friends, schools and there would still be my income to fall back on. Here, we would have to leave the country and start again. With the approach of children's exams over the next few years, the effects would be terrible. A few years ago I was desperate to leave, but again we were reliant on my husbands job. It is the lack of control that really frustrates me. Our entire way of life is in his hands. Actually, worse than that, it is the hands of an ever changing management team based overseas.

Sorry you are arguing Ruffles. And No, you are not the only one. I'm in the same boat (also long married though not as long as you!) and wondering why too! I thought I was the only one, so it is helpful to see that other women in Dubai may be going through something similar and it may be our situations here rather than our relationships themselves that are the issue. As a result, it has occurred to me is that this sort of conflict may be common after the long summer, when many couples and families have been separated for at least some of the time and now have to get used to living together again in a normal day-to-day routine. Add to that the fact that many women will have been operating independently in their home countries and feel strong and capable, then return to Dubai and a dependent role. Quite an adjustment! I too know what you mean about being at home, and think one thing that doesn't help is that those of us who are at home seem to be far more dependent on our husbands here than in our home countries, which is not good for self esteem or an equal relationship. Ive only been back in Dubai a week or so, but after an independent summer, my inability to do anything financial myself is getting to me. For instance, I use my credit card in a shop and my husband is immediately notified via text of the purchase. Or use my credit card to buy something online and the security mechanism sends a PIN to my husband's phone. I then have to call him to get the code to complete the transaction! This is very hard for Western woman like me and many others who may well have had good jobs and been financially independent in the past. As I understand it, this is the only way accounts and credit cards can be set up here if the wife has no job, but please correct me if I'm wrong. In my case I do actually work (though from home), which should help me feel like I make some financial contribution. But my earnings are so pitifully low compared to my husband's that I still feel totally unequal in the financial stakes, and it barely seems worth it!