WTF? She doesn't want to do dishes after.... | ExpatWoman.com
 

WTF? She doesn't want to do dishes after....

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 20:03

My Filpino maid doesn't want to do dishes after ironing or even cooking anything. Saying that it can make her hands "shaky". How on earth it is possible to give her half an hour to relax every time she does cooking or do ironing before laundry or dish washing. I am not aware of any such illness neither believe in it. I do cooking and dish washing side by side... OrWashing hands right after ironing cloths. She is so persistent about it that I had to come here and ask if it's true?

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 February 2016 - 15:45
One of a kind! There are plenty of them - get another one and on the interview, ask her about this. Problem solved. :loser:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 15 February 2016 - 15:20
Please Spare some of us, Not all filipino maids are like that..we maybe from one culture and another but that doesnt mean we are all that insignificant and ungrateful. Sorry to hear that my "kabayan" is not that effective when it comes to her working frame..they're still alot of us who knows how to value and respect our employer without asking and demanding for higher compensation. If you're treating her well and she still do the same..its time for you to find someone who is willing to do what she refuses to. :) <3 :)
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EW GURU
Latest post on 15 February 2016 - 13:56
My Filpino maid doesn't want to do dishes after ironing or even cooking anything. Saying that it can make her hands "shaky". How on earth it is possible to give her half an hour to relax every time she does cooking or do ironing before laundry or dish washing. I am not aware of any such illness neither believe in it. I do cooking and dish washing side by side... OrWashing hands right after ironing cloths. She is so persistent about it that I had to come here and ask if it's true? Hi Smartee, I'd never heard of this but just asked 2 of my filipino colleagues and the say it's very common for their nationality to believe in this. They themselves do but not to any extremes. I've not had chance to read the other posts so excuse me if i'm repeating but maybe suggest she works out a schedule? I'm sure she gets breaks during the day so maybe suggest she does the ironing before a lunch break is due etc... I'm sure she'd appreciate your understanding
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 15 February 2016 - 02:05
Dear me, what is happening to EW? So much aggression, so many unnecessarily defensive posts..........is it something in the water? Can't we post our own different views on here without starting WW3 any longer? And to the OP, I think after your final response that your maid is not perhaps, the only drama queen in your household. It's always been like this! If this maid was employed in a cafe in Europe, would she then be able to refuse to wash dishes after cooking food due to her beliefs? I do not think these beliefs are ones that are protected in Europe. Simple as that. Likewise you could not demand you boss gives you a day off because you don't want to work on Friday the 13th, or refuse to serve table 13 in a restaurant. Anyway for the OP here is an interesting blog on Pasma: http://www.lifesomundane.net/2014/09/pasma-pinoy.html At the end of the day this person is employed to do a job. If you employed an accountant to do a job and he couldn't do it would you be impressed? Or a solicitor? A personal trainer? If your doctor refused to examine you because of a superstitious belief would you still pay him? Simply put no. Just because she is a maid and it seems like a 'luxury' to employ someone to clean and help you cook etc. does not mean she should not have to do her job. My suggestion would be to advise your maid to organise her tasks accordingly to ensure she can get them all done without subjecting herself to risk from this ailment. Or look for another maid. Good luck, hope you manage to get it sorted!
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 21:49
Dear me, what is happening to EW? So much aggression, so many unnecessarily defensive posts..........is it something in the water? Can't we post our own different views on here without starting WW3 any longer? And to the OP, I think after your final response that your maid is not perhaps, the only drama queen in your household.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 18:40
Smartee, if you have hired her to do a job and she can't do it the way you want and her beliefs annoy you so much then employ someone else better suited to working in your home. She is meant to take stress away from you, not add to it. Why do you always resort to age related digs when you go on one of your defensive rants? Does ageing scare you? One day inshallah you will find yourself older and you will realise that it doesn't mean you are senile. You might even find yourself a little wiser with the years.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 17:55
OMG, how did you people survive back home without all this maids stress?
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 17:53
It's sad to know many women here don't have pair of functional eyes or it could be just their age? I clearly mentioned that I am not the one scheduling things for her, she does things at her own that's why I am offended that why she doesn't arrange tasks in such a way that could facilitate her belief? I just asked her about few undone tasks and she told me, she Cudnt do it as she was resting after ironing and before doing dishes etc. I find it an excuse only. Btw, Thank you everyone who understood my point and gave me advice. I think so it's really time to let her go... I hope she finds a madam who can put up with her BS. It does get onto my nerves to listen such stories after a hectic day. Your posts were a little confusing to me as I could not figure out if she was a daily live in maid or live out. I assumed you were home as how else would you know she is resting all the time, unless you come home from work and only half the housework is done, thus, you are given excuses. I agree with CP that you've hired her to do a job, and that's that. However, your manner makes it hard to sympathize with you. If you are panicked at work so much, as you mentioned, and you lash out at posters here left and right, then I think you better get to stepping on getting a new maid. It sounds like you are really stressed out. Further, if you are a professional yourself, I can't understand why you would put up with anything less in your own house with people that work for you. And yes, I did miss that line about her setting her own schedule, my apologies. It is nothing to do with being old or blind but could be the facts were obscured by your defensive rants.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 16:52
But then we'd have nothing to read about!! :P Roxan....................... :confused::idea::confused: I hope your DM's contract is up soon! As it sounds as though you are the DM in this situation!
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EW GURU
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 14:44
I have no maid problems at all cause I do everything myself here in Melbourne. Cooking, cleaning, sweeping, mopping, gardening and what have you... :-D No more than 2 hours a day. You should try it ;-) And I love gardening, so can spend up to 3 hours somteimes, pottering in my garden. The best solution :cool:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 13:40
I have no maid problems at all cause I do everything myself here in Melbourne. Cooking, cleaning, sweeping, mopping, gardening and what have you... :-D No more than 2 hours a day. You should try it ;-) And I love gardening, so can spend up to 3 hours somteimes, pottering in my garden.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 13 February 2016 - 12:14
smartee...I agree with you! This is only an excuse I'm thinking about what many people said in the past years...they were complaining because rich russian people were offering bigger amounts to get a property and this spoiled the market.....and now we have people offering big salary, more days off, hotel treatment to maids...and this is the result. let me explain what I mean hoping to be able to make myself clear for better understanding: I've 2 university degrees, I'm 60+ old, we came here for work many years back , I work 10/11 hours a day, if necessary, only Friday OFF! and when I'm back home I cook, I wash and organize immediately dinner for me and my husband , and so on....under the supervision of my philipino maid....I mean that I work and she looks at me...because what I can do in 5 minutes she does in 20/30 minutes...! she is cleaning/dusting 2 cars in the morning and then 1 hour rest, and then 2 hours for her is more than enough to clean the house and then she has lunch and 3 hours rest, in the afternoon half an hour ironing thrice e week, and then 1 hr rest, and IF WE HAVE DINNER AT HOME she just waits till I'm back at home...just to look at me. But if I tell her to clean vegetable she throw away half of them ( ....she doesn't care...I'm the one paying for grocery...!) even if I told her thousand time how to do that! If I ask her to please cut some parsley ( and we are 2 people only) she cuts a full bunch!!!!then after dinner she clean up the kitchen and then she goes to sleep...in the morning I wake up at 7....and often I've to call her because at 7,30 she is still sleeping... We have no children, no pets... and we never have lunch at home ( because we are at work) and in the evening we are having dinner at home 2 or 3 times only! I have no time to go to salon for my mani/pedi....she changes her nail polish color every day! I'm only waiting her visa expires and then I will send her back as I'm very tired after 2 years with her! I'm going work with fever....she is in the bed even only for a sneeze, I went back work in 3 days after small surgery....she had 3 days rest after taking out a tooth...! And every time to make her happier, I've tried to give her more and more...more salary, more food (...she likes shrimps...but the big ones ONLY ) she has internet, TV...! I was donating to her my almost new bags, nice branded jackets and shirts....and she was selling them to other maids : my home was a small "satwa" while I was at work! I've been forced to block my landline because she was calling her friends' mobile ...but not for emergencies...she was talking in the same morning 55 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes....one day we went out for dinner and she has been talking more than 2 hours with the maid of my neighbour....My landline number is ONLY for my relatives in my country, nobody here knows my landline numbers....except almost 30 friends of her ( all the maids living in my area! ) I've been told when I'm at work my house it the meeting point of all philipino walking dogs or with babies... We have tried thousand time to talk with her, to explain to her, with no results!Even my philipino secretary ( my secretary since 8 years....) talked to her with no result! She is crying on demand, on cue! she lies, knowing she is lying! I've never had these problems with my Indonesian maid, 7 years with her, she was always ready to help, she was working full day and having also more than enough time for rest , for lunch, dinner, time for internet...but she was also working...and helping me to prepare food. I think that now Philipino are demanding more and more day by day, as they think to be better and higher of other workers ( in term of nationality) ; they are asking BIG salary, 2 days OFF, and many people are accepting all their requests, and they are asking more day by day...and they are getting more day by day! I think you are right and you have done everything properly, she should have been able to organize her tasks keeping in mind her " fixations" without bothering you even for that.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 19:48
It's sad to know many women here don't have pair of functional eyes or it could be just their age? I clearly mentioned that I am not the one scheduling things for her, she does things at her own that's why I am offended that why she doesn't arrange tasks in such a way that could facilitate her belief? I just asked her about few undone tasks and she told me, she Cudnt do it as she was resting after ironing and before doing dishes etc. I find it an excuse only. Btw, Thank you everyone who understood my point and gave me advice. I think so it's really time to let her go... I hope she finds a madam who can put up with her BS. It does get onto my nerves to listen such stories after a hectic day.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 17:38
Smartee, is she is a live out maid that comes every day, not sponsored? If she is, and if I were in your place, and she did a [b'>really[/b'> good job, was trustworthy I would be okay with doing tasks in what I perceive to be an odd order unless I was tripping over half done tasks. As long as she doesn't make a big production about it, like running around waving her hands in the air after ironing and throwing herself into the deep freezer-- then personally I wouldn't care. It sounds like you just think she is a dingbat for believing something like that and it irritates you. Does she really rest an entire 30 minutes in between tasks? That sounds like an exaggeration. But if it is to the point where it is a major annoyance that actually makes more work for you and it is no longer a situation where you've hired a helping hand, then....drumroll....just get a different maid!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 16:38
LT, it was the dismissive tone of OP's post 'I'm not aware...nor believe' - so can't even be bothered to entertain it. This isn't tolerant at all. Some cultures have many such beliefs, so to just sweep it aside really isn't nice at all. How hard is it to change her schedule so she doesn't do these things one after the other? It isn't really is it?! It took me all of 5 minutes to Google what it was and to realise that a whole country basically has this belief. Perhaps if people stopped to think that others might have different beliefs etc to them and had a bit of understanding towards it, these issues can be avoided. Why should she be 'convinced' of something? Honestly, people have to stop this train of thought, that just because someone believes something different to them, it makes them wrong. It took me 1 minute of google to see what you posted was incorrect as per the link you referenced. I don’t think the OP was intolerant or rude. If the working world stopped to consider and rearrange its working day to accommodate every fable, folk law, old wives’ tale from every culture not a lot would get achieved. Why on earth should the employer reschedule the employees schedule, surely educating the employee is of greater benefit than accommodating such behaviours.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 16:28
Well I'm shocked by some of the replies. Aren't we taught to be tolerant and respectful of other peoples beliefs? IF you actually bother to research it, it's a VERY common belief by Filipinos and it has a name - Pasma! It's the thought that sudden changes in temperature i.e. going from a hot activity - like ironing, doing laundry, to using cold water, going to a fridge/freezer causes shaking and circulation problems in the extremities. It's studied and acknowledged by medical professionals in the Philippines, who can't yet decide whether it's an actually medical ailment or a psychological belief from old wives tales - but many Filipinos believe it. Koreans have something similar - it's called 'fan death'. So before you so rudely disregard someones complaint or belief, maybe look into it. Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasma Just because YOU don't consider something to be true, doesn't mean it isn't 100% FACT for someone else. Maybe reading the link you post may also be good advice? Fairydust wrote "It's studied and acknowledged by medical professionals in the Philippines". The link you posted; "There are distinct signs, symptoms, perceived causes and treatments which are recognized in the folk medicine of the Philippines, [u'>[b'>but these are not described in medical [/b'>[/u'>t[u'>[i'>extbooks, discussed in medical schools, or generally recognized by contemporary medical science.";)[/i'>[/u'> Please post the link that confirms your statement above.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 13:53
It may be true, it may not. In the end all that counts is wether or not you can live with it. If not, and your maid refuses to play by your rules, there's a conflict and you should probably start the search for a new maid. A new maid will most likely have other issues, so think carefully if you can't somehow work it out. I completely agree with you. Keep up the good thoughts.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 12:01
And people used to believe the world was flat...............
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 11:31
LT, it was the dismissive tone of OP's post 'I'm not aware...nor believe' - so can't even be bothered to entertain it. This isn't tolerant at all. Some cultures have many such beliefs, so to just sweep it aside really isn't nice at all. How hard is it to change her schedule so she doesn't do these things one after the other? It isn't really is it?! It took me all of 5 minutes to Google what it was and to realise that a whole country basically has this belief. Perhaps if people stopped to think that others might have different beliefs etc to them and had a bit of understanding towards it, these issues can be avoided. Why should she be 'convinced' of something? Honestly, people have to stop this train of thought, that just because someone believes something different to them, it makes them wrong.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 11:02
Well I'm shocked by some of the replies. Aren't we taught to be tolerant and respectful of other peoples beliefs? IF you actually bother to research it, it's a VERY common belief by Filipinos and it has a name - Pasma! It's the thought that sudden changes in temperature i.e. going from a hot activity - like ironing, doing laundry, to using cold water, going to a fridge/freezer causes shaking and circulation problems in the extremities. It's studied and acknowledged by medical professionals in the Philippines, who can't yet decide whether it's an actually medical ailment or a psychological belief from old wives tales - but many Filipinos believe it. Koreans have something similar - it's called 'fan death'. So before you so rudely disregard someones complaint or belief, maybe look into it. Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasma Just because YOU don't consider something to be true, doesn't mean it isn't 100% FACT for someone else. FD, i don't think anyone is being disrespectful. Just because, to paraphrase your last sentence YOU believe something to be true, doesn't mean it is 100% FACT for someone else. Or indeed for anyone else, belief does not equate to facts. For ladies who encounter this belief, misconception, old wives tale, whichever category one's own mindset and culture regards it, for the very first time it is only natural to be puzzled . And as several of the responses on here show, to misread it as a try on. Obviously this maid is truly convinced she will be harmed if she follows her duties in a certain sequence (though that begs the question as to why she thought she should seek work as a domestic helper) and the OP has several choices.. One would be to attempt to show her by example that no harm ensues, and to gently persuade her that she has nothing to fear. Another would be to allow her to manage her schedule in a way acceptable to the needs of the household and her own beliefs. And the third would be to find a replacement who was happy to perform her job as per her employers wishes.
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 11:00
It may be true, it may not. In the end all that counts is wether or not you can live with it. If not, and your maid refuses to play by your rules, there's a conflict and you should probably start the search for a new maid. A new maid will most likely have other issues, so think carefully if you can't somehow work it out.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 10:44
As much as I agree with you ladies most of the time :) , this is not right. If you are hired for a particular job, i.e. washing up, ironing whatever then it's your responsibility to tell your employer at the start that you have to do things in a certain order otherwise you have a hand shaking problem. If you have not notified your employer about this you cannot then expect later down the line to be allowed a half hour break in between each task to avoid said hand shaking problem. This person has been employed to perform these tasks. If the employer is fine with things being done in a different order to accommodate the problem then that's fine. If not, then the employee has to just get on with it or find a new Madam.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 10:08
Talk about first world problems!!!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 09:43
lol AdventurerB, no the line that got me was 'I am not aware' - oh I'm sorry smartee, are you an omnipotent (look it up if you don't know what it means) being who knows everything about everyone, their culture, beliefs. Are you a medical professional? Sorry but the arrogance!
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EW EXPERT
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 09:16
Well I'm shocked by some of the replies. Aren't we taught to be tolerant and respectful of other peoples beliefs? IF you actually bother to research it, it's a VERY common belief by Filipinos and it has a name - Pasma! It's the thought that sudden changes in temperature i.e. going from a hot activity - like ironing, doing laundry, to using cold water, going to a fridge/freezer causes shaking and circulation problems in the extremities. It's studied and acknowledged by medical professionals in the Philippines, who can't yet decide whether it's an actually medical ailment or a psychological belief from old wives tales - but many Filipinos believe it. Koreans have something similar - it's called 'fan death'. So before you so rudely disregard someones complaint or belief, maybe look into it. Here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pasma Just because YOU don't consider something to be true, doesn't mean it isn't 100% FACT for someone else.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 09:04
I have something wrong with me and it has destroyed me. And every time I feel upset or frustrated, I snap myself swiftly back in by reminding myself that I am so, so, so fortunate and I could have been born in a country where you are not even worth a half an hour rest if you did have a need for it. Sorry, but big deal. The woman is obviously trying to earn a living despite this shake. She hasn't asked for a day off. WTH to you! You're not human? Make a flipping schedule! 5pm Ironing 6pm Rest 6.30pm Prepare dinner 7pm Rest 7.40pm Eaat/washing up I could easily rest for half an hour between tasks and still have it all done. Get her iron levels and Vitamin D levels checked. Give her enough iron inner food. Make sure she is eating. Make a schedule. Well, first of all please go sip some water. Secondly, she has no issues at all currently , she thinks... She might get it in future, which is stupid and illogical. Thirdly, her schedule is upto her what she wants to do first, I just needs things to be done. She comes for 8 hrs and I can't afford to give her 3-4 breaks of half an hour to relax and cool down temperature which she can definitely manage otherwise as well. Last but not least, I haven't hired maid to baby sit her. As an adult, if she has problem she should tell and get it treated. Not making up stupid stories which has no sense. She is here for living just like any of us. How about j ask my boss to give me an hour of break every time I get panic because it might give me heart attack?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 08:57
I have something wrong with me and it has destroyed me. And every time I feel upset or frustrated, I snap myself swiftly back in by reminding myself that I am so, so, so fortunate and I could have been born in a country where you are not even worth a half an hour rest if you did have a need for it. Sorry, but big deal. The woman is obviously trying to earn a living despite this shake. She hasn't asked for a day off. WTH to you! You're not human? Make a flipping schedule! 5pm Ironing 6pm Rest 6.30pm Prepare dinner 7pm Rest 7.40pm Eaat/washing up I could easily rest for half an hour between tasks and still have it all done. Get her iron levels and Vitamin D levels checked. Give her enough iron inner food. Make sure she is eating. Make a schedule. LOOOOOL What's wrong with you?
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EW GURU
Latest post on 12 February 2016 - 07:26
My Filpino maid doesn't want to do dishes after ironing or even cooking anything. Saying that it can make her hands "shaky". How on earth it is possible to give her half an hour to relax every time she does cooking or do ironing before laundry or dish washing. I am not aware of any such illness neither believe in it. I do cooking and dish washing side by side... OrWashing hands right after ironing cloths. She is so persistent about it that I had to come here and ask if it's true? Our previous maid said something similar as well. She said if you iron then work with water you will get sick, I assume cooking is similar because it involves heat. Just let her do all the ironing at night before she goes to bed, and have her lunch right after cooking. Clever!
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 23:46
LOL The maid seem to be pretty good at having you on... You need to remember that it's an employer-employee relationship. You're the employer and you call the shots. I do hope you've been an employee too at some stage so that you remember the other side and rather than barking orders you can manage in an appropriate manner. Is it a communication issue? I'm just asking, not blaming.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 21:32
This has cropped up before on EW, it appears to be a common belief with Filipino people, nonsense of course but it seems to be quite engrained. Quite how to deal with it, I have no idea, logic rarely prevails over superstition. Oh and CP, do you recall the maid who had had surgery (she of the sliced mangos) who was exacerbating her wound by rubbing Vicks on to it? Another deeply ingrained misconception..
 
 

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