The Expat Partner’s Survival Guide

The Expat Partner's Survival Guide

We’re living in:

We’re currently in our home country of the UK but as a family we have been posted in Pakistan (Islamabad) and St Lucia. Previous to this, I was in Jamaica where I worked at the British High Commission in Kingston (and where I met my husband). I have also lived, as a child and young adult, in the Philippines, Nigeria, Venezuela, Gibraltar, Spain and New Zealand. I was born in Cuba.

A bit about us:

I was born to British diplomat parents and travelled around the world with them and my three brothers as a child. We all went to boarding school and then later on I lived with my parents for a while in Venezuela, where I worked at the British School and taught English.

After university I started work as a journalist and worked on newspapers in Gibraltar and the UK. Just before I turned 30 I decided it was time to see a bit more of the world and took off on a round-the-world trip on my own. This included living in New Zealand for nine months. Returning to the UK, I took a career change and joined the Foreign Office, where I spent time on the UN desk and as a press officer, before taking my first posting to Jamaica. Here I met my husband, got married, and fell pregnant with my first daughter.

We returned to the UK, had a second daughter and moved to Islamabad with his job. We only lasted a few months before being evacuated following the Mariott bombing of 2008. We took another posting, to St Lucia, and then returned to the UK at the end of 2010. Here I trained to be an antenatal teacher, and started work on my book – the Expat Partner’s Survival Guide (based on my own experiences, as well as those of more than 75 contributors). The book is now published, I have stopped teaching antenatal classes, and we are preparing to move again – this time to South Africa.

How long have you lived there?

We lived in Pakistan for just three months; St Lucia for 20 months. We have been in the UK for more than 4 years. Our posting to Pretoria will be for between 2 and 4 years.

Why did you move?

We are moving with my husband’s job. He is a law enforcement liaison officer and will be attached to the British High Commission.

Why we like living here:

Every place has it’s pro’s and it’s cons. Pakistan was fascinating and the curries were great! But it was quite a difficult place to live with very small children – although I know people who lived there longer than we did had a great time. St Lucia had beautiful beaches and the Caribbean sea but was very small and very hot! We are really looking forward to South Africa and exploring such a beautiful country, as well as other countries in the region.

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Accommodation Options:

In Pakistan we had a modern house on a large compound which included a school, pools, club house etc. In St Lucia accommodation was a real problem – trying to find something of the right size for the family that wasn’t a mansion was difficult! We did end up in two beautiful villas though (we moved once), with pools and lime trees in the garden!

What do you enjoy doing with your time:

Both me and my husband love to scuba dive! This is really what brought us together when we were living in Jamaica. We dived quite a bit in St Lucia but haven’t done any diving in the four years we have been living in the UK. We are hoping to take it up again in SA. We’re also really looking forward to going on safari.

What top tips do you have for anyone considering a move?

Read my book the Expat Partner’s Survival Guide! Quite honestly though, make sure you are prepared and be realistic with your expectations. If you want to work (if you are not the one with the job) then look into this a long time in advance of your move. Don’t leave it to chance. Read up on culture shock. If you have children, start thinking about schools the minute you hear the move might even be a possibility.

What do you wish you’d known before you moved?

I wish I had read my book! Seriously, it’s why I wrote it. In particular, I wish I had understood culture shock better – in particular that things will almost certainly be hard to start with; but that they will almost certainly get better.

What’s the best thing about being an expat?

Travel! I love seeing the world and wherever you are, there is something to explore – whether in the country you are living in or in one of the neighbouring countries. Get out and see the world!