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JoyceB
Posts 2772
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31/10/2010 00:00:52
LOL! Had that situation the other way round where our hosts were the most boring people on earth and had only accepted the invitation out of courtesy as it was a business deal of my BIL. Hardly in the door and we were dragged round their "gorgeous villa" with every room bathed in candlelight?? Who on earth does that unless you are selling a house?? They droned on about how wealthy/important they were, made comments about my BIL"s shoes because they weren't designer made??? My DH pretended to fall asleep while the other guests (who were friends from home) flashed eyes at me to say "get us out of here NOW!!" I went to the loo and called a taxi on my mobile and we managed to escape!!!! Have never seen them since thank goodness.
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homesickk
Posts 160
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30/10/2010 23:10:54
yes - my dh family. like sweet double edged knives the ladies are!! i refuse now to meet them. i go into shock at how nasty and manipulative people can be so dont reply and then wen i try to discuss it with my hubby he says i should have confrotned them and i shouldnt let them affect me- but they do - so i just dont wnt to know anymore.
it is mostly women i find who are like this
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fairwater
Posts 2038
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30/10/2010 10:01:31
i would have been polite for so long then told her to get out. i wouldnt put up with that from anyone in any situation, no one has the right to belittle and be rude to someone whether in front of others or one on one. your husband should be supportive of you and back you up not worry over offending his friend by refusing to have them around again.
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paras
Posts 824
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30/10/2010 09:44:17
yes, one of our regular guests does that often ... i cant say 'no more invitations' for this particular person as she is DH's cousin ... and its really strange because one minute she's acting all nice and well mannered and the other minute she starts acting all wierd ... and its always about my food ... i always happen to make stuff that she doesnt like to eat ... i dont understand how she can manage to dislike so many different food items ...
Needless to say that i have stopped caring about her behaviour .... and have put her down as a weirdoo .... there are times when i want to treat her the same way when she invites me over to her place ... but after a few tries i have just decided that i cant be that nasty
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cryptic
Posts 1805
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30/10/2010 09:36:33
Ginnee wrote:
Yes I've had the experience where people will come and eat my food, complain about it in arabic to my husband (he tells me later), but proceed to have second and third helpings!! he tells them not to eat it if they dont like it!
I solved that one.. I make my husband cook when his friend and their wives come for a visit. That way if they complain about the cooking, they are actually insulting him, not me.  And I am none the wiser as I do not speak Arabic..
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shjbelle
Posts 1638
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30/10/2010 08:55:20
Hi Stardust,
Sorry to hear that.. just don't invite her around anymore...however, I would have asked her in out loud in front of everyone " you have a problem with me Love? you seem to be mocking me at every angle..if you don't like it, please don't ruin it for the rest of us..you know where the door is don't ya?" and give her the BIGGEST smile ever....
What a B*&%H!!
S
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mokkapala
Posts 373
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30/10/2010 08:41:24
Stardust,l if you ever get an invitation to their house, you could give her your own feedback! But then I suspect you have far more finesse and better manners than this lady. She sounds like one sour human being. Lucky DH she has. If I spoke like that to anyone, my DH would "straighten me out" verbally.
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Ginnee
Posts 1458
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30/10/2010 08:04:57
Yes I've had the experience where people will come and eat my food, complain about it in arabic to my husband (he tells me later), but proceed to have second and third helpings!! he tells them not to eat it if they dont like it!
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Purple
Posts 2988
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30/10/2010 08:02:34
Stardust, why did you put up with it?
I would have asked her to tone it down a bit or leave. I would never have someone treat me badly in my own house. I am horrified. Just read your op to my husband who said he would have thrown the woman out no questions asked, lol
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mokkapala
Posts 373
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30/10/2010 07:58:20
Here is what happened in our house few years ago. I have an Iraqi Palestinian friend who I used to work with. After I got married, I invited her and her mother and sister to our house for dinner. We had just decorated our house and were very proud of it. t was winter months. My husband lid candles and worked on the lighting to make everything just so. I had spent the day cooking. Then our quests arrived. FIrst thing they did was tell us to blow out the candles. "What are you trying to do" "This is what you do when you are alone with your husband, not when you have guests" they told me, trying to "teach me right from wrong. OK, candles were out and bright lights in. (And for the record it was not that romantic, just a touch of nice touch to add cosiness to our home). Then came time for praying. My husband is a Muslim but he does not pray. They launched into an assault of him and how he will end up in **** as a result. And then at dinner the mother refused to eat my food, said she did not like it, it was not cooked right (thank God she is not my mother-inlaw !!!). And hey, even the cup of coffee I made was not right. My husband said those people should never come for a visit to our house again. And they have not. Let us say it was not a pleasant visit. They have invited me to countless of weddings, none of their marriages seem to last, (not that surprised if the mother has a constant presence in their lives) but have politely declined to attend. Now I know we are all different and respect each others' cultures, bt when you are a guest in MY home, you do not insult my husband nor my cooking. That results in no further invitations.
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janesul
Posts 4131
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30/10/2010 07:43:44
I'd be absolutely mortified if somebody sat at my dining table and behaved like this! How did her husband react? Perhaps this is 'normal' behaviour for her and you shouldn't take it personally. I wouldn't be inviting her back that's for sure.
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JulesinDXB
Posts 2595
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30/10/2010 07:40:18
Clairehdp wrote: JulesinDXB wrote:
I hate it when people are like this, it's so rude. I normally say to them if you're only point of coming was to sit there and be nasty all night, there's the door and you can leave. Does it happen a lot then?
No only had it happen once or twice, where people were just being openly nasty about another at the table. I won't tolerate people having a go at other dinner guests, they are invited because they are friends of mine and I won't tolerate issues with other people being brought into my house. I expect people to be civil to one another.
edited by JulesinDXB on 30/10/2010
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Clairehdp
Posts 15142
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30/10/2010 07:35:58
Stardust wrote: Had some friends around for dinner, not sure what went wrong but one of the guests spent the entire night mocking me on every level. Was exhausting, and I didn't really know what to say/do? Anyone else been through this? How did you handle it? It was the wife of one of DH's friends, so for the time being I have asked him not to invite them again in the near future 
I agree with others that sounds like her life is not so rosy but there's no excuse for being rude. I would ignore it and never have them over. I'd also organize the most fantastic night and make sure that she gets to know about it and realize that she's not been invited. If she's a really nasty person she might even ask you why she's not invited and you can hold your head up high, look her in the eyes and tell her exactly why she is not welcome!
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Clairehdp
Posts 15142
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30/10/2010 07:30:41
JulesinDXB wrote:
I hate it when people are like this, it's so rude. I normally say to them if you're only point of coming was to sit there and be nasty all night, there's the door and you can leave.
Does it happen a lot then?
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JulesinDXB
Posts 2595
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30/10/2010 07:24:20
I hate it when people are like this, it's so rude. I normally say to them if you're only point of coming was to sit there and be nasty all night, there's the door and you can leave.
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BS Detector
Posts 1139
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30/10/2010 07:14:03
I would have spat in her dinner
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Ginnee
Posts 1458
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30/10/2010 07:10:21
I would have waited a while and then told her, in front of everyone, if you dont like it, you can leave!
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DesertRose1958
Posts 1906
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30/10/2010 06:32:28
Maybe she was jealous of you, maybe not everything in her garden is rosy and she thinks it is in yours - so she was nasty to you.
I think to do what she did you'd have to be an unhappy person. Either that or she has a genuine reason to be angry with you and you just don't know about it.
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GlitterPunk
Posts 306
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30/10/2010 02:51:59
Happens to me a lot when it comes to in laws. What I do? Well if you really want to know: I generally find ways to spill oily food on them 'accidentally' or find ways of tripping them, dropping their shoes in the toilet etc. (I know, it's very passive aggressive and quite crazy, but I've confronted them soo often about their behavior and it never changes, so I just mention the rudeness in passing and get even. It makes me happy.)
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SueB
Posts 10931
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30/10/2010 02:21:30
aw give her a ring today and ask if there is a problem because she was such a biatch to you at your home last night!!! seriously lol. Or, if she is not a friend and you could not care less, forget it and dont invite her again. Oh right, you asked what we did if this happened to us. I would eventually ask if she had a problem because she was being a bit rude....do this in the kitchen though or she might tell you in front of everyone lol....seriously though, people who do this are really not worth the time of day as they apparently have an adgenda that putting people down makes them feel better about themselves. I would just forget it and put it down to her rudeness.
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Stardust
Posts 1794
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30/10/2010 01:32:16
Had some friends around for dinner, not sure what went wrong but one of the guests spent the entire night mocking me on every level. Was exhausting, and I didn't really know what to say/do? Anyone else been through this? How did you handle it?
It was the wife of one of DH's friends, so for the time being I have asked him not to invite them again in the near future
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