recent threads recent posts search posts faq
Home » Dubai & Northern Emirates » comments on weight
Pages: 1 2

mariahh
Posts 35



28/07/2011 18:45:43
i don't think those filipinos were insulting you. Ive been in the Philippines for 5 yrs so I know their culture quite well. They find it cute for children who are not skinny. I have some filipina friends before. One girl told the other that she was gaining weight. And the girl smiled and said thank you. It's like complement for her. I guess it's normal for them to be skinny that's why they feel happy if they gain weight. O.o


Sanddy_Dogg
Posts 9143



21/07/2011 22:20:29
kittykittycat wrote:
I have discovered a very simple way of dealing with this. the next time someone says- You got fat, simply turn around and tell them to F off- when they turn round and say that your language is so rude madam just say as is yours. They wont say it again I can tell you that much!



You're brave - there's no way on earth I'd tell anyone in the UAE to F off!!


nadadanada
Posts 450



21/07/2011 22:05:09
...but when a co worker tell you the company could use your ar$e for advertising I think it's time to get brutal and get the big guns out!!!Whaaaaa?


kittykittycat
Posts 212



21/07/2011 21:57:32
I have discovered a very simple way of dealing with this. the next time someone says- You got fat, simply turn around and tell them to F off- when they turn round and say that your language is so rude madam just say as is yours. They wont say it again I can tell you that much!

The other way which is slightly evil is when hey wear an unflattering outfit pay them lots of compliments so they wear it again! It doesn't help much but lets you have a snigger at your desk.

Whats really annoys me though is when you loose weight they tell you your breasts have got small- no oo you look slimmer- just oo your boobs have shrunk! You cant win- just tell them to f off.


Sue R
Posts 2390



21/07/2011 19:11:03
Cheeky Monkey wrote:
I feel your pain cleanfreak, I put on quite a bit of weight after being quite slim and several colleagues made comments (even one bloke who, usually meek and mild, was walking up the steps behid me and so, "Oh my, your bottom's getting really big!" Riiiight. ), but one in particular kept commenting all the time. In the end I just said "I know you probably don't realise, at least I hope you don't, but it's actually really rude to comment on someones weight and quite upsetting, please don't". They were actually quite mortified to have upset me as commenting on someone's weight is quite normal in their culture.


Exactly CM!!
Most people react as though the comments were intended to be uncomplimentary, but try to consider that in other cultures, it's perfectly acceptable to talk in such a way. Rather than retaliate with an insult, just explain that in your culture it is considered unkind. Cultural understanding is a two way thing!


JoyceB
Posts 3007



21/07/2011 18:38:34
everythingnice wrote:
I lived in Thailand for a year and I would say not only Philippinos do this but Asians in general. At first I was also a bit shocked by how frank they could get and thought it was rude but after some time, I realized it is just in their culture that they don’t care as much as we do about weight. Yes, we all want to be on our best figure but I think it’s because that Asians can easily control their weight (As much Philippino secretary tells me, she can easily gain weight and lose weight whenever she wants to), it’s not a big deal for them to comment on weight. Some of Thais actually appreciate if you tell them any change about their weight so they could do something about it. Unfortunately, they don't realize that for us, it can be insulting.

Although I think to assume and directly say that a woman is pregnant without asking is definitely over the top!
edited by everythingnice on 21/07/2011


I have a bit of a tummy and was asked by a fellow expat lady when I was due. I didn't know whether to slap her or hug her as I was 55 at the time!!!!


Gorobattie
Posts 1258



21/07/2011 17:44:52
Oh women! tough it up!
if someone is rude to you, just return the favour back!
as other posters said, just tell them off, and for colleges just tell them that you didn't ask for their opinions and when need opinion you will ask from a friend not you - the college - and so he/she should keep their opinions to them selves.... and then tell him/here about something you know about the appearance of her or him and tell them in their face!
that should do the trick, and believe me they won't dare telling you anything similar again for the rest of the time you are spending in your work.


Lynney
Posts 65



21/07/2011 17:20:46
I had plenty of weight comments when I was pregnant and a friend of mine had LOTs of comments when she was visiting but my favourite comment has to have been to my MIL. We were in Nero and she asked for cheesecake, the girl serving us turned and said to her would you not be better off with the low fat muffin or low fat cranberry slice. My MIL's face was a picture!


everythingnice
Posts 627



21/07/2011 17:02:55
I lived in Thailand for a year and I would say not only Philippinos do this but Asians in general. At first I was also a bit shocked by how frank they could get and thought it was rude but after some time, I realized it is just in their culture that they don’t care as much as we do about weight. Yes, we all want to be on our best figure but I think it’s because that Asians can easily control their weight (As much Philippino secretary tells me, she can easily gain weight and lose weight whenever she wants to), it’s not a big deal for them to comment on weight. Some of Thais actually appreciate if you tell them any change about their weight so they could do something about it. Unfortunately, they don't realize that for us, it can be insulting.

Although I think to assume and directly say that a woman is pregnant without asking is definitely over the top!
edited by everythingnice on 21/07/2011


fairwater
Posts 2081



21/07/2011 17:00:57
my mother was with us and she choked with laughter, thanks mum. trouble is i always think of the quips after the event. i wish i was one of those quick witted ones.


nadadanada
Posts 450



21/07/2011 16:56:11
fairwater wrote:
yes what is it with the comments, i've had it in the shops - oh madam your skin is terrible or your eyes are wrinkled you should use this cream, we have some weight loss pills you should take. can you imagine saying those things to someone say in the uk if you were working in boots or cleaning for someone, i reckon a few choice words would be thrown at you or worse
ps was eating in aquarium rest. a few months ago and the waitress said as we were leaving ( we dont know her by the way ) congratulations when is your baby due - as she patted my rounded tummy !
edited by fairwater on 21/07/2011


ps was eating in aquarium rest. a few months ago and the waitress said as we were leaving ( we dont know her by the way ) congratulations when is your baby due - as she patted my rounded tummy !
I'd have said "The same day you're having your nose slimmed down!"


fairwater
Posts 2081



21/07/2011 16:50:08
yes what is it with the comments, i've had it in the shops - oh madam your skin is terrible or your eyes are wrinkled you should use this cream, we have some weight loss pills you should take. can you imagine saying those things to someone say in the uk if you were working in boots or cleaning for someone, i reckon a few choice words would be thrown at you or worse
ps was eating in aquarium rest. a few months ago and the waitress said as we were leaving ( we dont know her by the way ) congratulations when is your baby due - as she patted my rounded tummy !
edited by fairwater on 21/07/2011


llyc1
Posts 319



21/07/2011 16:37:18
My Phillipina cleaner said to me recently "Maa'aam llyc1, you are fat now!" with a big grin on her face.

I don't know if she meant to hurt or insult me and I was too shocked to react in any way than to say "ok".

If they honestly don't mean to offend why do they say it? What reaction to they expect? Do they expect a "thank you?" Are they bewildered when we look crestfallen? I just don't get it.

However after reading this thread if she does say it again I will tell her that it is rude and to please not comment on my appearance again whether good or bad.

I think they know it's rude and offensive becuase once I lost a lot of weight and my secretary of the same nationality/culture said "you have a sexy body now!" Implying I didn't before when I was plumper!


Princess_I
Posts 2454



21/07/2011 15:42:24
egg wrote:
Princess_I wrote:
@egg; if you took a job and the parameteres for that job were a weight below xkg and you went over it, why is it the employers fault?

Sorry but if you signed up for it how can you complain?


just to add, i would never take a job that specifically described what my weight / appearance / preferences should be, i wouldnt want to work for a company like that FYI


neither would I but what i am saying is that IF you did, you can't really complain when they tell you that yuo need to maintain that weight.....


egg
Posts 1506



21/07/2011 15:18:30
Princess_I wrote:
@egg; if you took a job and the parameteres for that job were a weight below xkg and you went over it, why is it the employers fault?

Sorry but if you signed up for it how can you complain?


just to add, i would never take a job that specifically described what my weight / appearance / preferences should be, i wouldnt want to work for a company like that FYI


egg
Posts 1506



21/07/2011 15:17:38
Princess_I wrote:
@egg; if you took a job and the parameteres for that job were a weight below xkg and you went over it, why is it the employers fault?

Sorry but if you signed up for it how can you complain?


Come on unless its in the weight / fitness industry why would you sign something that stated you would stay a XXX KG, there are many reasons why people put weight on, maybe the said employer should spend more time being concerned for its staff member instead of a few KG


Princess_I
Posts 2454



21/07/2011 15:16:03
@egg; if you took a job and the parameteres for that job were a weight below xkg and you went over it, why is it the employers fault?

Sorry but if you signed up for it how can you complain?


egg
Posts 1506



21/07/2011 15:13:58
Eli1979 wrote:
I just quit my job yesterday because my company was bullying me into losing weight. I have a customer service job where I guess the image is important but I was never at an extreme unsafe weight that would hinder me in doing my job. The only reason I did put on weight first of all was because I had a baby a year ago and even thought I worked very hard trying all different diets and exercise the last kgs are just slow to get rid of. They have done monthly progress reviews of me losing the weight and I was told in no uncertain terms that I would be sacked if I didn`t reach their target weight. Now, we are only talking about 4 kgs here and I would have most probably lost it but I have decided to quit. I think no company has the right to treat anyone like that but hey, we are in the ME, they can do whatever they want.


Absolutely disgusting and shocking, in this day and age in any other country you could have taken them straight to a tribunal and be awarded millions no doubt for something so ludicrous and down right nonsensical.

Amazes me how people think they can behave like that as if its a normal thing, a few KG for goodness sake, so what most people are probably a few KG over what the medical industry describe as the ideal weight, your ideal weight is what YOU feel comfortable with, not what society says you should be, Love yourself xx


4sidekicks
Posts 393



21/07/2011 14:23:06
Princess_I wrote:
which company? Emirates?


Lol....How long until this one gets deleted ;-)


Princess_I
Posts 2454



21/07/2011 14:17:56
which company? Emirates?


QF2011
Posts 508



21/07/2011 13:58:36
Is the weight issue not just an excuse to cut staff? I think companies are looking forr any excuse they can.


BJones
Posts 20



21/07/2011 13:52:03
I had the same with my male colleauges after pregnancy.... Ones i told them that even if i put another 20kg i am still my super fab self! No weight comments - only compliments since then!!!

Try it!


Princess_I
Posts 2454



21/07/2011 13:44:53
Kim67 wrote:


Some cultures pretend that it's okay to say someone is fat, but in truth they know how rude and nasty they are being.


It's a power kick thing - they KNOW they are in a sh!t job / position here and they say it to make you feel cr&p and tehm feel better about themselves.......

If as many say, its a culture thing, then the fillipinos would only say it once as they could tell by the look on the face of the person they say it to that it is offensive..... they are just being biatches - end of story.


shellly
Posts 8181



21/07/2011 13:42:39
That just s.u.x!


Eli1979
Posts 820



21/07/2011 13:40:38
shellly wrote:
Eli1979 wrote:
it has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth as this was my dream job when I came here and have been doing it for the past 7 years .This is certainly not the way I was expecting it to finish..
And to answer the poster who asked, yes, men do get subjected to the same treatment, and sometimes for less weigt than ladies. Let's say it's just a very very image councious company even though they have far bigger issues that alter their image other than the staff's weight


But what is pathetic about all this is that I have often seen some 'questionable' staff members there, and what I mean by that is I knew one familiar face over the time span of approx 2 yrs and this person's weight did not change at all, which leads me to question, why is it ok for some and not the others, like you? So, so wrong!!! Look at it this way, they did not and do not deserve you!!!


Shelly, I think you will not see that familiar face around for too long..at least not with the same weight..even though the bullying has been there foever , only recently (january ) have they started sacking people over weight, so it will take a while untill they get rid of all the unsuitable,overweight ones )))


shellly
Posts 8181



21/07/2011 13:35:24
Eli1979 wrote:
it has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth as this was my dream job when I came here and have been doing it for the past 7 years .This is certainly not the way I was expecting it to finish..
And to answer the poster who asked, yes, men do get subjected to the same treatment, and sometimes for less weigt than ladies. Let's say it's just a very very image councious company even though they have far bigger issues that alter their image other than the staff's weight


But what is pathetic about all this is that I have often seen some 'questionable' staff members there, and what I mean by that is I knew one familiar face over the time span of approx 2 yrs and this person's weight did not change at all, which leads me to question, why is it ok for some and not the others, like you? So, so wrong!!! Look at it this way, they did not and do not deserve you!!!


Eli1979
Posts 820



21/07/2011 13:34:40
amalzd wrote:
This is what we need, bullying over kilos!!!! I am really sorry that it is your dream job and you had to let it go, but this is for your best. you have 7 years experience that will help you be anywhere you wish, and if I got that right you have a good experience in a well known place so!!!! let's cross fingers that not all similar companies are **.


I am just going to take care of my son and get some rest for a while .And most probably the kilos will come off too as I am pretty sure the stress they were putting me though was not helping either.
edited by Eli1979 on 21/07/2011


S0_IndEcIsiVe
Posts 479



21/07/2011 13:29:02
I too found this really shocking in dubai. I have recently become pregnant and the amount of horrible comments , I couldnt believe. Obviously Im bound to gain weight and get bigger - granted I was with a bump earlier than most like at 3-4mths but it happens , nature for me!!
anyway been told and looked at funny at how BIG i am , but i wish i could tell them to FOOOOOOOOK off! cos for god sake 1. you dont know me that well, 2. whats it to anyone else how much i gain, 3. keep your comments to yourself ... you wouldnt dare tell a heavily obese lady she is fat in her face!! why tell someone who is average weight and gaining ...its like im open to all public abuse here!! lol


Tru Blu
Posts 1846



21/07/2011 13:05:17
egg wrote:
I have found its a bit of a culture thing in particular with Filipinos i have come across, i have had the following comments

1) you dont eat a lot of rice so why are you fat
2) you have spots on your face (after returning from a holiday, not you look nice relaxed and tanned but that i have spots)
3) if you drink green tea you will have a se*y body again
4) were you slim when you were younger
5) you should really do some sport to help you get fit
6) is everyone in your family fat
7) you drink soda thats why you are big bellied


Incredible!!! THe mind boggles Whaaaaa?


amalzd
Posts 382



21/07/2011 13:02:10
This is what we need, bullying over kilos!!!! I am really sorry that it is your dream job and you had to let it go, but this is for your best. you have 7 years experience that will help you be anywhere you wish, and if I got that right you have a good experience in a well known place so!!!! let's cross fingers that not all similar companies are **.


Pages: 1 2
 

 
 
 
 
Abu Dhabi Dubai Bahrain Kuwait Oman Qatar Saudi Arabia Azerbaijan Singapore Site Map

© 2001 - , ExpatWoman.com. All Rights Reserved.