Toddlers in delivery room | ExpatWoman.com
 

Toddlers in delivery room

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 03:38

Hi ladies,

My husband and I would like our daughter to experience the birth of her sibling. She is a very mature 6 1/2 yr old and prepared. I am 35 1/2 weeks and my ob/gyn don't seem supportive of the idea. However, I don't really care what she advises as this is our choice. We don't have friends and family here and don't need an added stress on the day of not knowing if our daughter is okay or not with some strange staff. Has anyone had their toddler with them in the delivery room in Dubai and if so, which hospital? I am attending in NMC in DIP. She didn't say it's illegal. Thanks

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 June 2016 - 07:34
if you want to bring your child into your delivery room, do it. it's your child, do whatever you want. just be prepared to deal with any consequences is all i would say. for those who are confused about why this woman would not take the advice of her doctor - it's better not to blindly follow anyone, even if they're a professional. i don't always listen to my pediatrician, nor do i always accept advice my OB gives me. it's not a matter of me knowing better than them, its a matter of me understanding that even doctors are people and have differing opinions on things. why do some of you opt for second opinions when one dr tells you that a c section is the way to go but you want a VBAC? there are lots of women who have their families with them when they are giving birth - and as for husbands, my husband was with me during my delivery. it has nothing to do with being "strong enough". let's not undermine other women who make different choices just because we made different ones. wind up post or not - sad to see the sanctimony in some of these posts. precisely why women are labeled as ******* - instead of creating a supportive sisterhood we rejoice in blaming shaming and fingerpointing.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 29 May 2016 - 12:37
I forgot to wonder what happened to Floza! Maybe there was a complication? PS I love a woman who says she doesn't care what her OB advises ...
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EW GURU
Latest post on 29 May 2016 - 12:11
just saw this thread and it's hilarious :lol: I'm pretty sure this was a windup since she never posted on anything ever again!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 14 February 2016 - 13:17
And not to scare you or put you off, I know quite a few women here in Dubai whose epidurals have failed recently. Perhaps it's the type of medicine they're using or something but it's becoming quite common. Yes, I am one of those women. My fourth child's birth was expected to be calm and painless with the help of an epidural. Instead, I was staring at the ceiling screaming "God help me!" lol
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 21:47
Epidural failure is quite common. http://bja.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2012/06/26/bja.aes214.full Epidurals can also slow down the process and make childbirth more difficult, depending on your opinion on this subject.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 21:39
And not to scare you or put you off, I know quite a few women here in Dubai whose epidurals have failed recently. Perhaps it's the type of medicine they're using or something but it's becoming quite common.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 20:18
Also not understanding why your 6.5 year old is being referred to as a toddler?!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 19:03
The idealism of this idea is not that bizarre now, is it?? It shows you how fickle this forum is. Someone wants to have an elective surgery or inject botulism into their face and you don't hear the peanut gallery focus on complications near as much as in this thread. Are complications in birth more common? Dramatic and sometimes unpleasant-- yes. I've been queasy around births with zero complications, but that's just me. Nearly fainted when I saw how an epidural is administered. (Shudders). I have a friend who had her 2nd at home, in an inflatable bathtub of sorts. Her husband was in the tub with her. Heck, maybe the whole family was--I really didn't get the floorplan and itinerary and if it is not weird for them, it's not weird for me. Children are resilient yes, and I'm no expert but they respond to their parents reactions and perceived fears I would guess? The unpredictability and uncontrolled atmosphere is what I would worry about, for instance, doctors and nurses will not mince words and speak like kindergarten teachers simply because a child is present, should there be an emergency. And as far as epidurals, bit of pain usually comes before those are administered, and I don't think I would want my child to hear my howling like a wolf or swearing at my (not so useless) DH. Sorry can't help more, OP.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 18:46
OP what would your DD gain from this experience[strike'> apart from terrible nightmares[/strike'>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 11 February 2016 - 18:41
Here's a collection of a range of experiences. They mention some potentially helpful points to consider: "Witnessing the Birth of a Sibling" http://www.llli.org/nb/nbsepoct04p178.html Best of luck with the decision and for the birth!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 21:14
Plenty of mothers have their whole family with them during delivery - particularly at home births. children are remarkably unfazed by such things if the parents are relaxed. I know a few obstetricians who might not encourage the idea but a few who would go along with it assuming no operative/assisted delivery necessary. Plenty of people will tell you it's wrong but the mother knows her family best and is best placed to make the decision. ...................................and I was going to stop commenting on here. So weak, sigh.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 19:06
wind up. surely?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 16:49
2 points...... 1. A 6 year old is not a toddler. 2. If you really think she can handle it let her watch some birthing videos before hand. There's no way I would want to watch another lady giving birth, and I'm 41. But at the end of the day it's your decision really and you and your daughter must live with the consequences should things not go as smoothly as you imagine.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 16:13
You wouldn't let a toddler to witness the making of a baby, which is also a beautiful and a natural thing, so why would you want her to witness the birth?
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 12:42
I had my 2nd child about 2 years ago and have a 6 year old, it happened all so fast that my mother did not arrive in time to help with my 6 year old, we took her to the hospital and she stayed in the waiting room with a lovely nurse until everything was completed. I had an epidural and all was calm until my babies hart went in to distress, so you can imagine the craziness as everyone was running around, and turned out the doctor had to cut me (you know where). You have to prepare for the unforeseen as these things happen and I can not imagine what it would be like for a 6 year old to witness these things as for me it was traumatizing enough. Good luck with the delivery and hope all goes well. I know you do not want anyone's opinion and the decision is still yours, but try to see it from the prospective of a six year old.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 10:16
Thank you all for your opinions. However none of you have answered my question. Thank you notnewintown for well wishes. I will be in epidural and the situation will be calm. And how will she see blood if she will be on the head side? I take it neither of you know anyone that's done it. But I would rather not focus on the negatives. Sorry Sheikhandbake your husband was useless to you, but mine was my strength and very much needed in my 1st delivery. And I did mention in my post we don't have anybody here. Quote - "I will be in epidural and the situation will be calm" I certainly hope it stays that way. Sorry but as a mother and grandmother there is no way I would allow a child in the delivery room. There is always that "what if" situation and in this scenario I can think of quite a few and some that I don't even want to think about. Personally I will be very surprised if any doctor or midwife would ever allow this.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 09:33
My point only being that if push comes to shove (pun intended!) she can leave her daughter with her husband. Sure it's nice to have them there but if she has no other choice, it is perfectly possible to labor without them.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 08:18
Guess I'm strong enough that I don't need someone else to hold my hand :) Seems like you've already made up your mind, god help your poor daughter. Just because you are strong enough doesn't mean it's not nice to have your special someone on your side. My husband was with me with my 1st child and it was wonderful having him there. that doesn't make me weak i don't know why you thought this would be valuable information to the OP, just because your husband was useless doesn't mean everyone feels the same way as you. OP i understand that you want your child by your side but maybe think about it some more. she is a child and this might traumatize her. Not only that, i really don't think they will allow her to stay for the delivery. Maybe for everything else but not the delivery. When my due date comes i'd like my daughter to come after the birth just so that i won't stress out. but we have decided that either she stays over with us for the night or if there is no complications we want to see if we can leave on the same day because i have never spent a night away from her and i am not willing to do that.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 10 February 2016 - 07:16
Guess I'm strong enough that I don't need someone else to hold my hand :) Seems like you've already made up your mind, god help your poor daughter.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 22:34
Thank you all for your opinions. However none of you have answered my question. Thank you notnewintown for well wishes. I will be in epidural and the situation will be calm. And how will she see blood if she will be on the head side? I take it neither of you know anyone that's done it. But I would rather not focus on the negatives. Sorry Sheikhandbake your husband was useless to you, but mine was my strength and very much needed in my 1st delivery. And I did mention in my post we don't have anybody here.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 18:15
That's right - if I were so concerned about leaving my daughter with strangers, I would leave her with my husband. Husband's are basically useless at birth anyways - nice to have but definitely not necessary.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 17:47
i can understand you wanting her to be part of something amazing as seeing her sibling coming. however, i agree with the ladies, the idea of her seeing so much blood and seeing you in so much pain might not be the best idea, this might effect how she will feel when having children in the future and how she will feel towards her sibling. If you want her to experience it. maybe let her dad bring her in after the baby is out.
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 07:24
That maybe the worst idea I have ever heard! Seriously, what if complications occur? You will scar her for life. And she may be so put off by seeing the whole thing - even if it goes well - that she never wants to have children of her own! Perhaps after 6 1/2 years, you've forgotten how awful it really is! Grown men are known to faint ... Surely you have friends she could stay with?
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 February 2016 - 06:43
Hi Floza, Has your daughter been exposed to large amounts of blood before? And what if, God forbid, complications occur? Would you want to expose her to panic and stress? These things could have a bigger impact on her psyche than you would imagine. Regardless of the fact if it's legal or not. My personal opinion is: don't do it. But of course, you're a free person. Good luck with your search. And wishing you a safe delivery!
 
 

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