Set Intentions to Positively Influence Your Infertility Journey |

Set Intentions to Positively Influence Your Infertility Journey

Learn how you can take small steps to positively impact your life

Posted on

14 October 2018

Last updated on 14 October 2018
Set Intentions to Positively Influence Your Infertility Journey

Cheers, dear readers,

This past July, I had the honor of attending my third World Domination Summit (WDS) conference in Portland, Oregon. I’ve mentioned here before the main tenant of this conference is “How to live a remarkable life in a conventional world.” I know firsthand that there are many days on the infertility journey where we do not feel that we are living a remarkable life AT ALL.

We may feel that we are living a challenged life fraught with difficulty and misfortune. Why do we have to deal with infertility while all around us, our friends, our families, celebrities in the media – they are all having healthy, happy babies seemingly quite easily. Remarkable life? Hardly! How about unmanageable life! Or exasperating life. That feels more like it.

Yet if we circle the drain of this type of downer, self-defeating thinking, our journey only feels even more stressful, exhausting and “woe is me.”

When I was at the WDS event, one of the speakers I was honored to see speak was a Mr. Darrel Vesterfelt (Twitter @dvert). I loved his overall message as well as his upbeat nature. The quote that he opened with was super powerful and has really stuck with me. I hope it resonates with you too.

SEE ALSO: Turn Your Toxic Thoughts into Empowering One During this Infertility Journey

“When you change your mind about the world, you can change your world.”

Darrell went on to discuss more about how we can get the most out of our lives, connect better with each other, and achieve more positive outcomes. All of this helps us make a greater impact in our families, in our communities, and ultimately the world. Wow!

I want me some of THAT! He went on to say that it’s important to put our egos aside while we are attempting to leave our mark on the world (whether that mark is by creating children and enlarging our family tree, or our professional pursuits). Darrell pointed out that “people generally remember how they feel when they are with you, not how much you impressed them.”

So with all this in mind, here are some pointers that Darrell gave us from his experience in terms of making the most of this thing called life, setting intentions in our lives, and making an impact.

Refrain from saying “I don’t want….” - as this doesn’t get us where we need to go. It puts focus on what we don’t want. By putting the focus on what we DON’T want, it ironically makes that a focus in our minds. Also try to refrain from repeatedly saying “I hate….” for the same reasons. It puts the focus exactly where you DON’T want it.

SEE ALSO: 4 Things to Make You Happier Through Infertility in Dubai

Notice how you feel - when you focus on what you DON’T want. For example, you might feel shame, anger, disappointment, sadness, frustration. These type of emotions and feelings are unpleasant and draining. Why invite that into your life if you don’t need to? You are in control of your thoughts and your words. Is fear one of the emotions that comes up for you thinking about what you don’t want? How do you act when you feel fear? Perhaps you go into the default.

Fight, Flight or Freeze - this type of “knee-jerk” reaction to fear puts you at war with yourself instead of in control of you, and your reaction to a situation. Here’s a TIP: Trying making fear your friend – pull it closer to you. Consider asking yourself: What can this fear teach me?

Objectify Your Fear - Re-frame your stories about fear. Why? Because you can make your stories about fear more empowering to you, and understand yourself and your situation better.

  • Ask: How do I feel when I fear that?
  • Ask: How did I look / my life look at age 21?
  • What would present day you tell 21 year old you?

Bottom Line: Get Clarity On Your Intentions

SEE ALSO: How to Enjoy Yourself During Infertility in Dubai

Focus on the Positive vs. the Negative to pull you in the direction you want. When we focus on the positive, we help put our focus, our thoughts, our intentions in the direction that we actually want to go. Think of it like a law of attraction. Our thoughts help attract what we are thinking about to us.
How could this positively impact your infertility journey?

I hope something here resonated with you as you traverse your path with your spouse. Every day is a gift, even when we are experiencing hardship. How do you want to spend your days? Focusing on the positive? Making magic happen? Loving who you are with, empathetically? Loving yourself compassionately?

How can you make each day just a little bit better along your journey?

Please join me next week to hear more about my personal journey down the infertility path. I look forward to speaking with you. I wish you the best on your journey.

Warm regards,


Conceive - Slow Swimmer & Fried Eggs
Sponsored by
Conceive - Slow Swimmer & Fried Eggs
Slow Swimmers & Fried Eggs is a blog about real-life individuals who have been/are re-productively challenged and are trekking through this arduous and uphill journey to parenthood. Join the SSFE writers each week as they open up and bare their fertile souls and infertile reproductive organs to us, all in the hope of reducing stigma and loneliness in this journey. With SSFE, there is always and forever, light at the end of the tunnel.