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Stubborn mother-in-laws and lost mis-addressed post

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5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 09:08

I'm ashamed to admit I gave up working (in a job I hated) because I was fed up with all my money going to pay her bills for things she didn't need and couldn't afford but expected us to pay for. It back-fired on me because after so long at home I have become obese and unemployable (one not the result of the other), so maybe don't take a leaf out of my book :)

1530

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 09:01

thanks simpleasabc, I know its wrong but for some reason my Dh is immovable on this. I think there are some major guilt issues there too! She went mad when I quit my career due to stress and started to retrain in something low paid (following my bliss :-) and urged him to 'force me' to go back to work. She has iced towards me considerably since then and Im standing firm, although we could do with the money....***sigh***

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 08:50

I know its a real icky one. He is an only child, she smothers him and all through his single years until getting married in his 40s he paid for everything. I didnt care when I was working as I was earning much more than him, but now that Im financially dependent on him, its become an issue. Its cultural too as the older folk in his culture do expect to be kept by the children Hilsbils, I sort of know what you mean - my ma-in-law died in March and we are still paying off the large debts she incurred. Strangely, I miss her as she used to be before she started spending all our money (when we had none in the first place) :)

2262

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 10 June 2012 - 08:23

curious. Have you told your family that there is no house to house mail delivery here? This is very normal in Canada and the U.S. so our family are not dim, they get it :) I would think just saying there is no house to house delivery and only post box it would hit home?

1530

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 19:12

I know its a real icky one. He is an only child, she smothers him and all through his single years until getting married in his 40s he paid for everything. I didnt care when I was working as I was earning much more than him, but now that Im financially dependent on him, its become an issue. Its cultural too as the older folk in his culture do expect to be kept by the children

3220

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 18:40

Mine expects my Dh to maintain her lifestyle of endless holidays and cruises. He spends more on her than us, and it makes me grrr Why is he paying for her holidays and cruises? He has no obligation to do so.

1530

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 18:29

Mine expects my Dh to maintain her lifestyle of endless holidays and cruises. He spends more on her than us, and it makes me grrr

CAPTAIN AMERICA...

1260

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 17:46

Sadly i've lost mine, and still miss her terribly... You can have mine then ;)

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:41

Sadly i've lost mine, and still miss her terribly...

1042

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:32

Oh don't get me started on phone calls. Last year MIL went on a three week holiday. DH had to travel for work a few days before she got back (and he had some really stressful jobs at that time 80+hrs a week everything going wrong type) he went to four different countries in three weeks with no weekends. He finally was back in Dubai for a weekend. Tried to call his mother who then gave him a mouthful because she hadn't spoken to him for nearly six weeks and he was such a bad son blah blah blah. I had to persuade him to call her as he was traveling again the next day and very tired (regretted it when he did). She actually reduced him to tears (he was already tired and very stressed). I sent her an email politely advising her that he is working very hard and is very tired and stressed and giving her his mobile number, FaceTime and skype IDs and suggesting if she hasn't heard from him she can still give him a call anytime she likes. I even bought her an iPad for Christmas last year. The response I got was a mouthful back. She does call him now, once a year, on his birthday. MILs, who needs them? <em>edited by RuthM on 09/06/2012</em>

3376

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:11

It doesn't surprise me one bit about Moms or MILs and their confusion...my MIL calls us at either midnight or 6 am, and asks each time "Oh, what time is it there?" Like the time zone changes :D At least she calls. Some of my family don't even email anymore!

1042

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:10

My master plan now is if we move again this year we can give her the PO Box address and then when she next comes to visit she won't be able to find us muwhahaha!!!

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:07

oh i see....but it is difficult for people who don't live here to understand the postal arrangements... But she was categorically told to use the PO Box. For the last two years she has been using the PO Box. Then we moved last September (only 100m up the road) and for some reason which I cannot fathom she decided to use the villa address! <big sigh> ahhhh...because now that you have moved she is waiting for your new PO box address ?? lol... have you actually told her since you moved that the original PO Box address is still valid ?

Sugarbeach23383

1566

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:04

Some MIL's will do anything for a bit of drama.

1042

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 15:02

oh i see....but it is difficult for people who don't live here to understand the postal arrangements... But she was categorically told to use the PO Box. For the last two years she has been using the PO Box. Then we moved last September (only 100m up the road) and for some reason which I cannot fathom she decided to use the villa address! <big sigh>

2171

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:54

I gave ours to my M&D so dad could Google Earth us when we first moved here - they 'got' the only use the PO Box instruction for post; however DH against my advice did the same with his parents - who didn't get the PO Box bit and needless to say they didn't use it and our Christmas cards (with you guessed it cash inside) went astray.

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:53

Actually, Sue62, I do give the villa address for documents to be sent via courier and of course, for Shop & Ship. well yes, i meant family members... Me too, in some cases :) My mother still thinks it's a deliberate slight that she doesn't have our physical address here, she doesn't get it even after having visited us :)

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:53

why would you have given anyone your villa address in the first place ? none of our family have a clue where we live !! and i agree Simples - very difficult to describe the lack of postal system to people in the UK... hope OP's husband gets his things...my father insists on putting cash in our birthday cards - so far nothing's ever gone missing but i don't rest until they all arrive !! We gave her the address as she flew out with Etihad last time she visited and had the chauffeur drive thing. Thanks for all the responses I'm going to send DH to Karama post office tomorrow to see if it's there. oh i see....but it is difficult for people who don't live here to understand the postal arrangements...

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:52

Actually, Sue62, I do give the villa address for documents to be sent via courier and of course, for Shop & Ship. well yes, i meant family members...

1042

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:47

why would you have given anyone your villa address in the first place ? none of our family have a clue where we live !! and i agree Simples - very difficult to describe the lack of postal system to people in the UK... hope OP's husband gets his things...my father insists on putting cash in our birthday cards - so far nothing's ever gone missing but i don't rest until they all arrive !! We gave her the address as she flew out with Etihad last time she visited and had the chauffeur drive thing. Thanks for all the responses I'm going to send DH to Karama post office tomorrow to see if it's there.

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:47

Actually, Sue62, I do give the villa address for documents to be sent via courier and of course, for Shop & Ship.

3901

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:28

why would you have given anyone your villa address in the first place ? none of our family have a clue where we live !! and i agree Simples - very difficult to describe the lack of postal system to people in the UK... hope OP's husband gets his things...my father insists on putting cash in our birthday cards - so far nothing's ever gone missing but i don't rest until they all arrive !!

5400

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 14:04

We just didn't give our respective mothers any address. They still couldn't comprehend lack of postal system here and office PO Box No is apparently too complicated..

3220

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 13:55

They keep the packages at Karama post office for two weeks then dispose of them or return to sender if not collected. In the older days they used to make an effort and would deliver it to your villa if someone forgot to put your postal address but those days are gone.

3376

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 11:39

Hi Ruth, this has happened to me twice. Once in Abu Dhabi, twice here in Dubai. When I tracked the package online (are you able to do this?) it showed it was here in the UAE. I went to the central post office in Karama, and went to the desk, and handed them my driver's license (the only ID I had on me). They took my ID, looked for the package, and found it, opened and inspected it, and I think the pick up fee was 3 dhs or something minimal. Likely your husband can do the same thing. I also have picked up a package addressed to my husband. The lady at the info desk said they wouldn't do it, but I took a number and went to the pick up desk, and they handed this one over, too, because they remembered me from the last one. (A box exploding with white powder seemed to stick out I guess and we had had a laugh about it) Good Luck! <em>edited by Beebers on 09/06/2012</em>

711

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 11:33

FYI, my son once ordered something on line and had mistakenly placed our villa address down on the delivery address as opposed to PO Box. I was just in the process of trying to figure out where to start myself, when a knock came to my door from a courier who delivered it and charged us I think 30 Dhs. We were shocked but happy. I don't know if this will happen for you, but it certainly relieved the headache as I had already been to the post office to inquire as to what will happen in this situation. Funny enough, there was a lady right behind me wanting the same info for the same situation. Hope this helps a bit.

870

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 11:02

your husband needs to speak to her. the stubborness gets worse as they get older! sorry cant help you with where to look for parcels but good luck.

1530

Posts

EW EXPERT

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 10:54

I just wanted to say that I feel your pain.... MIL is really hard work for us on many fronts. Good luck!

1042

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 09 June 2012 - 10:48

My mother-in-law has (against my advice) sent DH birthday presents and cards from all his family to our villa address. I have in the past succeeded in persuading her to use our PO Box but on this occasion she didn't even contact me before sending it. She is now having a moan at DH telling him to contact the post office and see if he can pick it up (he's having a great birthday). As unlikely as this may seem does anyone know where to start with this? If only so he can advise her he tried.

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