YES parenting .........does anyone here actually do this? Or is this reflected here by maids who bring up the kids?

Ok I read this thread and thought, that's appalling, then I read the article and actually, this is not that dissimilar from the way I try to parent (cue a thousand thumbs down I'm sure...). The headline is totally misleading, if you read all the way to the bottom, this mother DOES say no to her kids. She is just mindful of not setting more boundaries than necessary and giving autonomy and responsibility as often as possible. I am quite sure she sets clear boundaries and spends a lot of time helping her children understand the reasoning behind them rather than resorting to a simple "no" followed by a "because I said so" (which you could easily argue is true lazy parenting because your role should be teacher not policeman). I don't use time out, I very rarely punish, I do try to avoid saying "no" while still quietly controlling the situation. I don't force my kids to say "please" and "sorry" and "thank you" and yet, even my 18 month old says "please" and "sorry" and "thank you" (so cute to hear her spontaneously say "thank you" to our taxi driver today, even before I did!) which goes to show that modelling is more important than dictating. A really great book along these lines is "how to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk", I have found it, plus another book by the same authors (Siblings without Rivalry) enormously helpful in understanding better ways to guide and help my children than constantly criticising, punishing and saying "no". To be honest, I'm sure most of you experienced mothers and grandmothers figured that out along the way too. It is common sense to a degree but when you are new at this stuff and thrown in the deep end having some guidance is really helpful. The over-indulged expat brats I see here are a totally different kettle of fish, nobody is guiding them, they are truly children who do not hear the word no, and they must feel very lost and lonely as they are also children with nobody listening to them. Oh and although I totally had boundaries, I actually never had a bedtime growing up, nor was I asked to study/do my homework, and yet I always put myself to bed and did my homework, and if I didn't, I felt what it was like to be tired or felt the consequences of not having completed an assignment on time. I think there is a tendency to helicopter parent these days, let's not raise our children as though they are idiots! <em>edited by kiwispiers on 16/04/2014</em>

Wonder what will happen to these little darlings when they are released into a world where NO exists....... Parenting is HARD WORK ,a big reason many opt out. <em>edited by Nomad on 16/04/2014</em>

I wasn't allowed to swear as a child but I swear in front of my parents now. Generally conversationally not expletively and I draw the line at the c bomb. My children aren't allowed to swear but we don't say they are bad words, just that like beer, some things are only for adults. As for being a yes parent, nope. I say no. All. The. Time.

If we were very cheeky or swore as kids My Mum would say Persil Soap Fairy Liquid Pick your poison. Needless to say we never swore or were cheeky! Me too, and I got the odd whack on the backside! My parents were strict but fair and loving and I wouldn't have dared give my dad any lip! Mine too. Mind I once used the F word in front of my Dad by mistake and got a clip. I was over 18 at the time too. Never used the F word even to this day however called my Sister a stupid moo and was grounded and had my mouth washed out. My Mum wouldn't ever tolerate back chat or swearing. Manners cost nothing was her favourite saying and my Sisters have brought their children up exactly the same. Yep mine was a total accident and have only ever used it once since and that was here. The first time I saw the Burj Khalifa two years ago. DH clipped me then too.

If we were very cheeky or swore as kids My Mum would say Persil Soap Fairy Liquid Pick your poison. Needless to say we never swore or were cheeky! Me too, and I got the odd whack on the backside! My parents were strict but fair and loving and I wouldn't have dared give my dad any lip! Mine too. Mind I once used the F word in front of my Dad by mistake and got a clip. I was over 18 at the time too. Never used the F word even to this day however called my Sister a stupid moo and was grounded and had my mouth washed out. My Mum wouldn't ever tolerate back chat or swearing. Manners cost nothing was her favourite saying and my Sisters have brought their children up exactly the same.

I see this style of parenting practiced every day. Our garden backs on to an area in the community where I live, where kids play with eachother. There is never a single parent there. The kids are "supervised" by nannies and maids. The nannies and maids are either on their phones or just chat with others. The kids run around like crazy with massive bags of crisps or sweets that they have just bought from the local shop with the maid/nanny. I always wonder why the parents of these kids don't ask the maid to clean, cook or whatever it is that they are doing at home, and instead spend some time playing with their kids. Why is their maid delegated to entertain their children? Perhaps the posters on this forum don't practice this type of "parenting" (i.e. delegation of parenthood to domestic staff) but it's certainly pandemic across all parts of society.

I still don't swear in front of my parents. My mum was fond of asking at weekends if we wanted to go visit grandma/go to church. We of course always said no. Only to be told we were going anyway.

If we were very cheeky or swore as kids My Mum would say Persil Soap Fairy Liquid Pick your poison. Needless to say we never swore or were cheeky! Me too, and I got the odd whack on the backside! My parents were strict but fair and loving and I wouldn't have dared give my dad any lip! Mine too. Mind I once used the F word in front of my Dad by mistake and got a clip. I was over 18 at the time too.

If we were very cheeky or swore as kids My Mum would say Persil Soap Fairy Liquid Pick your poison. Needless to say we never swore or were cheeky! Me too, and I got the odd whack on the backside! My parents were strict but fair and loving and I wouldn't have dared give my dad any lip!

If we were very cheeky or swore as kids My Mum would say Persil Soap Fairy Liquid Pick your poison. Needless to say we never swore or were cheeky!

I actually have a girl in my Guide unit who is a complete nightmare. She is the youngest of 3 girls, the other 2 being in their late teens. She has been completely spoiled and speaks to her mother and grandparents as if they are dirt. She made the mistake of doing it to me one evening at a meeting and I tore strips off her! Mum complained that I had upset her little darling so I told her that it was up to her how her DD spoke to her but I wouldn't stand for it. Funnily enough I had the mum in my Guide unit years ago too and she was equally obnoxious!

I practice a form of Yes Parenting - Yes you can tidy your bedroom Yes you can clean your own bathroom Definitely Yes you can make me a cup of tea Yes you can have whatever you want for dinner as long as it is what I have already cooked for you This woman is an idiot. Can you imagine being a yes parent to a teenager ??? Nightmares !! <em>edited by mrsg on 16/04/2014</em>

Poor children, can you imagine being able to do what you want and then come across a strict teacher.... or a school bully

I wonder how they cope at school, surely they cant tell the teacher to f*** off! so they probably are being disciplined and told no, just not by mum. Yes, I bet it's a very different world at school for them.

I wonder how they cope at school, surely they cant tell the teacher to f*** off! so they probably are being disciplined and told no, just not by mum.

She is going to regret this in a very few short years from now. As for the children turning into brats because of yes-maids, how are the maids expected to discipline? Everyone on here is happy enough to advocate BBB for asking for a night off on Fridays and raises, shock and horror wont cover it if they found out that somewhere in Dubai a maid said No - to an overindulged child!

She rejects the idea that her parenting style is lazy. I think her parenting is lazy and here is a great place to witness the results of parents who never say no. Of course she does, she reckons it's the right way to go so they can make their own minds up. If that's not the lazy way I don't know what it, apart from seeing it in practice out here.

Just in the middle of reading this and I don't quite know what to think. I would hate to meet her children in a few years time and as for saying that the marriage didn't break up because of this. Well...................