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Dilemma of a SAHM

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199

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 19:38

Well at lest you were able to stay at home and look after your child as you wanted. There are plenty of women who cannot do that because he family cannot survive without he two incomes. I can totally understand that you feel dependent, and some men will make a woman feel that way. Of course work is more than earning money. If you are lucky enough to enjoy the work you do, then it gives you more than money. It gives you satisfaction, and a purpose in life apart from the family. Regarding salary, many of us here work for lower salaries than we received at home, strange as it may seem, but for many it is still preferable to being a SAHM. However, if you are lucky enough to get a job, then I see no reason why you should automatically pay for the childcare from your salary- or indeed the car! This depends on your husbands salary.In my opinion if he earns way in excess of you, then he could pay for these necessities, and you could pay for luxuries. The best of luck in securing a job.

191

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 18:49

If its just about money (and not a career in a specific field) why not go for a job in school where you can be home with your child (schools have day cares for the extra few hours you will need to stay there)... i think if a mother needs to work the best option is to either teach or work in a school administration with less working hours n all..... but then again i am more of an ambitious mother than an ambitious woman... :)

17

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 17:29

I would actually work for 10 k. I know there wouldn't be much left, but it would give me a good feeling to be back in the working environment. Plus you can earn more in the future.

Londiamond93030

495

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 16:52

I could be wrong, it sounds or reads as though you do not actually WANT to go back into the workplace. Looking at all the possibly negatives and playing those. So costs are 6K, lets say. 6K on things you did not need before. If you are earning as low as 10K, the is 4K into the budget, or 48K/year that is not there when you are not working. A lot of women do this everyday. Decide with DH the lowest you are both willing to accept to trade a mother being available all of the tine for a nanny being. If that cannot be achieved, then stay hone till it is.

Doubting Thomas

2298

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EW EXPERT

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 16:32

If you are going to have to earn a minimum salary in order to be able to work (i.e. pay for a maid that will look after your child) I don't see the point..sorry. You are effectively working to pay for someone to look after your child !! Cut out the middle man and enjoy bringing up your child yourself..Sit down with your husband and tell him what you have told us and ask him to give you a regular amount every week or month that you are free to spend as you choose. As long as all your household obligations are met you should divide up what's left in a way that's fair on you both and doesn't make you feel so dependant..

17

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 16:23

I have sent a few CV's and will keep doing that. Just hope to get a decent salary cause we will need to sponsor a maid that picks up the child from nursery etc. That will cost us roughly 3k/month, plus I will probably need to get a car (another 2k incl. petrol).

pussycat12100031

49

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 15:59

Start searching for ajob now that your child has started nursery

204

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 15:47

I don't think it matters much what we think. You need to sit down and discuss it with your husband to make it work.

17

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 24 November 2014 - 15:22

I have a 3 year old child that just started nursery. It is a big relief now because it's the first time that I can find time for myself. I don't have a helper and my husband is always tired when he comes home from work. I always wanted to be a SAHM especially for the first 3 years cause it's so important for the child's development. Lately my husband and I are having more arguments. It's all about money. I have always tried to use our money carefully. He always checks his credit card statement and asks for what I spent f.e. 200 dhs. I was always earning my own money before having our child. I don't like being dependant especially if I have to give account of everything. I also don't feel equal anymore cause of not earning money. This is just how it feels in our marriage. Personally I have a different opinion about it: I think his money is our money cause I run our household and I am looking after our child. I sacrificed so much from the moment I became pregnant. His life is pretty much the same as before. It was a mutual decision that I will stay at home and he will earn the money. He didn't like the idea of having a housemaid. I am still glad that I had the opportunity to stay with my child. I would be really interested what you think about our situation.

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