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so...what do you say to your child about stranger danger?

6350
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 18:15:12
I'm struggling with age appropriate/scaring the poo out of her!
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 18:33:52
There's a suggestion from DBS in the thread with updates on it. For Primary school children, they recommend a book called ‘Car Trouble’ which highlights these issues.
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 18:45:56
I told my 7 year old exactly what's been happening and what to do if it happened to him. No use hiding the truth.
Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 18:56:25
guinness wrote:
I told my 7 year old exactly what's been happening and what to do if it happened to him. No use hiding the truth.


Same.

Even went through scenarios that might be used: eg my 6 year old loves animals and will chat to anyone. If someone came to him and said, help, I've lost my puppy, 2 years ago, he probably would have followed to help look for the dog. I hope, based on some of the scenarios we've covered over the last 2 years, that these days he would not. That being said, my kids are never left without adult supervision anyway (as I know your DD isn't either Aroha). BUt you are right, they still need to know about these things.

At the end of my most recent discussion, I tried to empower them by talking about strategies they could put into action if they did see something suspicious happenning down at Town Centre (for example). I think that helped them leave the discussion on a more positive note.
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 20:52:52
Nothing yet
egg
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 20:57:02
Just had exact same talk we explained that there are some bad people out there who for many different reasons (no specifics) would want to take boys and girls away from their families. We explained that if anyone approaches him near school to go straight away and find nearest teacher, he gets the bus home from school which collects the lower grades from within school grounds, but you just never know, we also told him if he needs to to scream at the top of his voice and run back into school and if someone "grabs" him to bite and kick, its so difficult to try and explain to them the innocence he just found it hard to believe that people would want to take kids away from their parents and family bless But in light of recent events i think its important not to become complacent and to explain the ways of the world and how they can try and protect themselves.
edited by egg on 05/12/2011
874
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 22:25:57
As previous posters said it is useful to go through different scenarios and even what the definition of a stranger is (some kids may perceive a nice man with a suit is not a stranger for e.g.).

dd is 4 and she knows both our mobile phone numbers and home address if in need. We chatted yesterday about strangers and defined it as anybody who you don't know.
Then I asked her if a really nice lady would come to her in the park and play and offer an ice cream, would she follow her to get the ice cream and she said yes ... after I reminded her of the first rule (stay away from strangers and go to mum/dad if approached) she realised and every other scenario I threw at her was ok.
Again today I threw more "nice man in a suit", "lost lady who needs directions", "gentle and kind man who says mummy has asked to pick you up", "accident" etc ... and she was very confidently saying no , no ,no.

Another thing I am teaching her is to vocalise and say "Stay away" on top of her voice. I have found that part the most difficult as she just says it very faintly. This is what will raise the alert around so it's important for them to do it as a practice so they know they can shout/scream/be heard if in need.

Finally one of my friend has that really cool thing with her kids: they all have a secret family password. The kids and both parents are the only one to know that password. Instructions are that the kids would only go with people who have the family password and she tried it several time with people that her kids knew and they only jumped in the car when the lady gave her the word/phrase/sentence (even though that lady was a friend). You obviously change the password everytime it's been used.
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 22:31:27
Quizzme, that family password idea is excellent.
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 22:34:34
An old article, but still worth mentioning http://www.timeoutabudhabi.com/kids/features/8637-earn-your-stripes DD teaches this in UK and thinks very highly of it.
Edited to add She knows the instructor at
http://dunamistraining.net/media.html who teaches this programme - may be worth checking out.
edited by lal1 on 05/12/2011
1904
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 23:18:56
Quizzme,you take me back almost 30 yrs now...
When our boys were little we hatched a super
secret family password.I was most insistant that
they NEVER spoke to anyone they did not know.
Never to fall for a story of any kind and if anyone
said your mom or dad sent us without the super
secret password it was a no go.I went a step further
if the "person" knew the password to get hold of the
first teacher to confirmit was OK.

We still chat about it to this day.Apperently I scared the
c..p out of them.

Always be aware and keep your little and big ones close
and know at all times where they are and what they are doing.
3560
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Latest post on 2011/12/05 at 23:37:52
I tell my 3 yr old the hansel and gretel story where the witch is a description of a real life stranger. He mostly follows and knows he shouldn't do anything without asking mom and dad and that strangers can be dangerous who might give you everything you like, like candies, icecreams etc only to make witch soup out of you!

I think DS does concur a bit now! I hope I never find out if it works in real life situations.
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 05:48:12
guinness wrote:
I told my 7 year old exactly what's been happening and what to do if it happened to him. No use hiding the truth.


Same. I furthermore emphasize that the majority of child abuse is committed by family/friends/acquaintances. No use telling them only about stranger danger when the worst might lurk among the unexpected.
758
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 07:56:04
Hi
Does anyone know where to find this book " car trouble"? Thanks!!
429
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 08:09:38
hollyhook wrote:
guinness wrote:
I told my 7 year old exactly what's been happening and what to do if it happened to him. No use hiding the truth.


Same. I furthermore emphasize that the majority of child abuse is committed by family/friends/acquaintances. No use telling them only about stranger danger when the worst might lurk among the unexpected.


I tell my kids nobody should ever touch them-- ...not anybody! they are the owners of thier body.
I also tell them that no matter what they can tell us anything, even if they think they cant, and that nobody will hurt us.
Often, predetors tell children the parents will die if they tell.....?
6350
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 08:09:40
Thanks everyone...I too, really like the super secret password idea, and roleplaying scenarios so it gives me good solid stuff to go through with her and work on it. Especially like the bit about empowering the kids, rather than freaking them out...it was the bit i was struggling with. So thanks again.
429
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 08:45:48
Yes, but there are alot of creepy people here. I caught someone taking a video of my kids on the beach.
The american in me wanted to take the phone and throw it in.....
Sorry- culture or not, creepy when 3 young men are taking pic/video of kids in swimsuits.

What on earth would you want to watch a video of someone elses kids? this is comming from my arabic husband who was ****** i didnt phone the cops on the spot.
758
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 09:35:19
Hi
Bump for me for the book Car trouble? Thanks
1556
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Latest post on 2011/12/06 at 18:54:06
My school always told us to make as much noise as possible if someone got a hold of us or was doing something we didn't like.

When I was about 7 a guy tried to get me to go with him to his car, when I wouldn't he tried to grab me so I gave him an almighty kick and ran screaming like blue murder down the path to the front of the school... apparently the crosswalk man heard me half a block away and came running to meet me off the path... P

Later we found out this guy was wanted by the police....

So even if you think your kids might be timid, it can be a good idea to get them to try what a 'real shout' sounds like. Especially if they were shy. I was quite an- ahem- hyper child so had no problems finding my voice but shy ones might be. So, give it a whirl!!! P

As an older child, my mum told me that the word 'Fire' often gets more attention than 'help!' so to try different words until I got someone's attention. also, a big strong NO! is always good for a child to practise with you. (Though most kids know this one well, lol)

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