How do you feel when your friends start competing with you on anything and everything?

i hv friends like this. so i played it down, but refer to her for all organising and planning for whatever. If she is good at baking I make sure I placed orders. hahaha... make her do the work and the same time praise her to the max how wonderful she is! she loves it!

"Imitation is the best form of flattery"...so you should really realize that this 'friend' regards you quite highly. But if you feel that her intentions are malicious, then she is not a friend. I think you are quite lucky to know that and now you can decide what to do with this..eliminate her or just let her know her place...This kind of thing should actually make you laugh not get annoyed...how silly of someone to always try to compete with you. What kind of sad life do they lead! It could be argued that the op slaying her 'friend' on a public forum is also malicious. <em>edited by Snitch on 15/03/2011</em>

If you truly want to liberate yourself, cut them out of your life completely. Hear hear. True. And remember...birds of a feather flock together..... I would rather be friendless than put up with such annoying and fake people.

"Imitation is the best form of flattery"...so you should really realize that this 'friend' regards you quite highly. But if you feel that her intentions are malicious, then she is not a friend. I think you are quite lucky to know that and now you can decide what to do with this..eliminate her or just let her know her place...This kind of thing should actually make you laugh not get annoyed...how silly of someone to always try to compete with you. What kind of sad life do they lead!

There are really nice people out there - they are not always the funniest ones in the crowd, with nicest car etc , but if you scratch the surface of the ones that seem a little quiet and dull, they are often really the best most interesting friends. The ones in line to collect your kids who aren't always chatting and laughing - seek them out ! ( not saying the chatty ones aren't always - just that its often the things right infront of you that you didn't notice )

Why don't you ask her? Isn't to communicate the common way to solve a problem? She, your "friends",...

Cut her off, move your child to another nursery. Less stress! It's a fake place here anyway so a lot of your friends seem to be fake too. Think about if you did something wrong too, then move on and find nice friends. There are actually a few out there...good luck!

Big thanks to the chicks that do know know me...silly muppets, I am ok! And I feel very lucky to have you lot in my life. and that will teach me to muse out loud on line hey? Love ya guts chick! And yes we were worried as another of your fabulous qualities is that you rarely whinge so the alarm bells went off. :) :) :)

Its surprising and a bit dissapointing to know how many of us have been burned by female friendships. I wonder if its ever possible to meet a genuine good friend here. I would love for that to happen. But it makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one going through this. When I first came, DH had a network of friends and wives group, one of which took a particular 'shine' to me. She then proceeded to do the following: When I told her I planned to invite our common friends to dinner that weekend she beat me to it and invited all of us a day earlier instead. I happened to wear a particular style of dress to that dinner party and a few weeks later when we went around to another common friends house, guess what she wore? Yes, the same style of dress I had on earlier. When we went shopping together, insisted on buying the same top I was planning on purchasing, and when I bumped into her months later, found her wearing it with the same kind of trousers and accessories she had seen me wearing. Barged into my kitchen and criticised my style of making a particular dish that I was serving for dinner for all of us. Bought a hair straightener (she has naturally curly hair) and asks me how do I style my hair. NOW this is when it gets freaky Tells me DH would flirt with her friends' (in short dresses, too) who he met at her apartment when he was single When DH and I stayed at Al-Maha for a weekend, tried to book a place there for her family the next month. When she found out I went skydiving in Thailand, decided to do the same in good old Dubai. When MIL came over for a visit, this friend wanted to take her, alone, back to her place and have her stay there. Why I dont know. Possibly to malign me. Said SOMETHING to another, very sweet, old friend of DH's, we dont know what, while we were away on holiday, that girl and her husband cut us off completely when we got back. I shudder to think what could have happened if I'd allowed her to interact with my MIL. There's lots more, but I forget.... it was drama and tension every time. I got tired of it and begged DH to cut her off and we were much happier since, but I also lost many other common friends we shared. Oh well. So derbend, sorry to tell you it happens a lot, not sure if its a Dubai thing, I never had a problem with friends before but I tend to struggle a lot here.

http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/grinspire407.htm :):)

I had NO idea this thread had got turned around to me and my silly little sulk, sorry derbend. I am lucky, and I am sure you are too that you have people in your life who LOVE you, and that is YOU...the lovely messy beautiful you and everything that is and means. Of sourse we all have our place in the world and in the hearts of people...you know the ones, they will drop everything in a minute and come to you, as you would them. You can cry, laugh, and be yourself. I reckon we get lucky if we can count those friends on one of our hands. The secret to less freindy friends is as I said...know yourself, be secure in yourself....I say I am hopeless. And yup,I am at a lot of things but i am also very good at others, and quite frankly those are the things that are important in my life. But I also believe we are here to learn as much as we can, and at the risk of sounding a bit airy fairy...we have people and experiences in our life to learn things, people for a reason, and a season lalalalala. I don't know why we would want a negative person in our lives, but maybe there is something I can learn, or they can learn? I think you just have to be careful that it never gets detrimental to your health etc. Big thanks to the chicks that do know know me...silly muppets, I am ok! And I feel very lucky to have you lot in my life. and that will teach me to muse out loud on line hey?

I for one feel that they are not friends at all ... is it a dubai thing? Ok here's the situtation got a friend who is all sweet and nice all the time but recently i have noticed that no matter what i do she tries to do the same thing only better than me .... i dont feel good about her anymore ... and all my friends are friends with her too so cant discuss it with anyone Dubai is such a hard place to make friends anyway :( Dubai is full of sycophants. Keep your family close and forget about friends here my dear.

thats the damn problerm Arohadxb!!! they are jealous, pure and simple. They envy you...hurrah, go celebrate your specialness and feel sorry for them that they feel the way they do and it makes them feel better about themselves when they make you feel bad about yourself. So, stop it.... :)

I have friends who make it quite clear that they are better than me, and I am hopeless at all sorts of things. Theyre probably right but its awful to feel so belittled. But I just don't compete, what is point? In fact, i have decided to feel liberated by being so hopeless...the bar is set at a low standard for whatever it is so theres not a lot to live up to, no? The real trick is to know yourself to be better than that and let the rest slide off your back. With friends like these, who needs enemies? I agree, those are not friends Aroha. You sound like a doll and you deserve to be surrounded by good people. :)

arohadxb, surely there must be one thing you do well??? being a mother, running, solitary activities, decorating, shopping...gotta be one thing you are good at. Friends who tell you they are better than you? omg..you need to hang out with a much better class of woman. The ones you call friends must be very self centered...not people I would want in my life. Gosh, just hand me the razor. Honestly, woman who do the oneupmanship are usually very insecure and dont think very much of themselves. How could they, when they get their identity by belittleing other people..so poop on them lol Actually Aroha is a fabulous painter, a good cook, a wonderful mother and a very honest friend. Aroha's only real failing is that she sells herself short Had to be something! LOL

arohadxb, surely there must be one thing you do well??? being a mother, running, solitary activities, decorating, shopping...gotta be one thing you are good at. Friends who tell you they are better than you? omg..you need to hang out with a much better class of woman. The ones you call friends must be very self centered...not people I would want in my life. Gosh, just hand me the razor. Honestly, woman who do the oneupmanship are usually very insecure and dont think very much of themselves. How could they, when they get their identity by belittleing other people..so poop on them lol Actually Aroha is a fabulous painter, a good cook, a wonderful mother and a very honest friend. Aroha's only real failing is that she sells herself short

arohadxb, surely there must be one thing you do well??? being a mother, running, solitary activities, decorating, shopping...gotta be one thing you are good at. Friends who tell you they are better than you? omg..you need to hang out with a much better class of woman. The ones you call friends must be very self centered...not people I would want in my life. Gosh, just hand me the razor. Honestly, woman who do the oneupmanship are usually very insecure and dont think very much of themselves. How could they, when they get their identity by belittleing other people..so poop on them lol

Know how you feel derbend. Was there myself. In the end she did everything so much better than me and eventually completely cut me out of the friends circle. Just cut it out of your life. It obviously bothers you and it did bother me and I should have limited contract ages ago instead of investing time and effort into that particular group of friends (was lonely for a long time and still have not made a ton of friends to make up for it). Nip this 'friendship' in the bud. I know its cliched to say this, but you really dont need this in your life. Frenemy is an apt word here.

I have friends who make it quite clear that they are better than me, and I am hopeless at all sorts of things. Theyre probably right but its awful to feel so belittled. But I just don't compete, what is point? In fact, i have decided to feel liberated by being so hopeless...the bar is set at a low standard for whatever it is so theres not a lot to live up to, no? The real trick is to know yourself to be better than that and let the rest slide off your back. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

I have friends who make it quite clear that they are better than me, and I am hopeless at all sorts of things. Theyre probably right but its awful to feel so belittled. But I just don't compete, what is point? In fact, i have decided to feel liberated by being so hopeless...the bar is set at a low standard for whatever it is so theres not a lot to live up to, no? The real trick is to know yourself to be better than that and let the rest slide off your back. Glad you know your place woman! (love you!)

I don't have the time or energy to compete with people. I am me....and if you want to compete then knock yourself out....i'll be in the garden having a glass of wine. I value my true friends and would never (knowingly) try to compete with them...in fact I think most of my friends are better at pretty much everything than I am so I know my place! Its actually great to be treated to something like homemade cookies or rum balls or sangria (for example) when I know darn well that I couldn't make them! oooh that makes me sound like a scrounger! lol

If you truly want to liberate yourself, cut them out of your life completely. Hear hear.

I have friends who make it quite clear that they are better than me, and I am hopeless at all sorts of things. Theyre probably right but its awful to feel so belittled. But I just don't compete, what is point? In fact, i have decided to feel liberated by being so hopeless...the bar is set at a low standard for whatever it is so theres not a lot to live up to, no? The real trick is to know yourself to be better than that and let the rest slide off your back. Better than you!!!!! In what way? Sounds like these so- called- friends -of - yours have very big ego's that feed off of, what appears to be, a self endorsed, I am happy for you to wipe your feet all over my confidence attitude. If you truly want to liberate yourself, cut them out of your life completely.

it takes 2 to compete..why do you worry about what she's doing anyway ? I don't have many friends here yet but i have enough to think about with my own family without worrying about whether or not other ppl we know are trying to be better..what does that even mean ? If you are finding this friend hard work then just cut down the amount of time you spend together...and the others too - if you think they are that shallow then do you really want to be with them anyway ? I don't seem to have come across this aspect of expat friendship yet so i'm sorry i can't offer anything worthwhile.. We have a very, we are what we are attitude in our house and so far it hasn't been tested..