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ewmoda

Are my expectations of my maid too high?

562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 15:41

Trying to work out if my expectations are unreasonable or not!

For those of you with experienced maids who can read English and are paid at the higher end of the scale for these reasons, would you expect them to use some initiative and actually read washing labels/check fabric types, or (another example) read a recipe they've been given rather than just looki g at the pictures, or read instructions on household products? Recent experience suggests i may be wrong to expect some initiative. If so, is there any point in paying a premium for a more mature, experienced maid with decent English if they do t use their common sense?!

Just had a pair of newish, fairly expensive, very manmade trousers ruined as our maid put them in with my husbands white cotton shirts. Fabric is very stretchy and clearly very unnatural! I can live with mistakes, but we are seeing quite a lot of situations where our maid seems to lack some common sense. Yestrdays similar example was treating stains on clothes with something that is not stain remover (despite ha i g 2 stain remover products).

Ive been told before not to make assumptions and to spell everythi g out. But is this just at the start or even after being wih you for a good while ? It seems strange to have to start training our maid after 2-3 years! At the moment i seem to be intervening all the time and tutting a lot! If you buy new clothes do you make sure your maid knows how to wash each i dividual garment?

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562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 12:08

DeeDee I get what you're saying now and I think you're probably spot on! Perhaps we think our maids are brighter than they actually are. Or we think their English language skills are better than they actually are. We certainly have the lAtter issue with ours. When I employed her I thought her understanding of English was much better than it has proved to be judging by the frequent misunderstandings. It is misleading as she speaks pretty well. I am usually quite tolerant, but it has started to irritate me recently, like with you the Russian. Great to hear you've managed to improve things with a chat. I had better try that if all else fails. In The interim I will make a list of issues and focus on clarity in my instructions, perhaps getting her to repeat my instructions back to me to make sure we don't have a misunderstanding. I do have friends who don't have these issues with their maids, so I do think you can get lucky, but it also seems as though these issues are very common. Friends' maids are generally Filipino though, and I believe they tend to have a higher standard of education and better English.

330

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 09:47

Funny, I could have written that post - not about laundry in particular but the constant picking/correcting/intervening etc! Our maid is lovely and has been with us for a year but lately I've been experiencing exactly same thing. All the little things that are suddenly done wrong. Because they are little, you don't feel like picking on them but as it all piles up it starts annoy you quite a bit doesn't it! So I sat down with her one day and told her - look, lately I find myself constantly picking up on you and I don't like doing it. So here's the list of things that I need you to do differently and this is exactly how it needs to be done. It was a good chat because she also shared her view point and some stuff was just a misunderstanding. Some things got better, others I still struggle with but there was definitely an improvement overall. I also try to let some small things go. It will never be perfect but better small than big ;) And yes, you have to lay out everything and more than once!

21

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 09:20

My mother is the same with her complaints with maids. But then it's quite tricky, isn't it? To find a smart maid because we know that if they were smart enough they would be employed with better jobs than what they are doing now. I understand all the grievances but then how do you handle this kind of situation when there's only so much their intelligence can absorb? I believe sometimes it's also a matter of language barrier. They don't know how to communicate with the employers, therefore are afraid to ask or do not understand the instructions that they are given. I agree, if the heart is in the right place you could be more patient. Otherwise if they are just arrogant about their mistakes and seem to be making them in purpose, then that's a different story!

562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 09:07

Given the backgrounds they come from, I truly doubt many of them have the chance to become brain surgeons Deedee, no matter how bright! But point taken. Looks like it's all (sadly) fairly common, though not universal. I can imagine that working as a maid must be so dull that maids switch off and do everything on autopilot. I think ours is just a very distracted type who doesn't pay attention because her mind's elsewhere - no doubt somewhere much more pleasant than my toilet! It has been commented on that she's a bit off with the fairies. But her hearts in the right place, which is crucial.

21

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 08:34

You ladies do know that if they were geniuses they wouldn't be working as maids right?

767

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 06:17

I never trusted a maid with laundry. I want to put it in the machine and choose a program. She can do the take it out, hang it, ironing and back in the wardrobe.

85

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 14 October 2015 - 01:06

It just reminded me of one of my maid's conditions few years back (not in Dubai). I remember telling her on the 1st day of work (while explaining stuff) that she is responsible for any damage caused by her! If any cloth's damage, she will need to pay for it from her salary or replace the item with a similar one! It may look cruel but assure you, the attention level will be increased significantly!

407

Posts

EW EXPLORER

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 23:08

Completely normal. When you say higher end salary, what is it you are referring to? I know one maid who won't do such stuff and she is on 5.5K+ and their family driver is on 7.5K+ for the record. Terminate her and you will likely go through the same over and over. Again just for the record - as I run a business and earlier been involved with building teams - this is the norm for people who are not motivated or been raised that way.... I get close to tearing my hair out with how dumb office staff can behave after years.

904

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 22:34

-separate darks from lights -yes madam - my new undies wash them with darks only, they're purple - yes madam Maid comes running to me with my child's white underwear all stained in purple - madam your undies stained the white underwear - didn't I tell you to wash them with darks? - yes madam I did so, but I dried them with whites Yup, lack of common sense..

562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 21:25

Glad it's not just me Daza. I wasn't sure if I was being too demanding. It's hard to know what is acceptable or not when you have limited experience with maids. I suppose it doesnt matter how willing you are in your job, if you can't actually do what you're told for whatever reason then it's not good enough. She does have some redeeming features (very important ones t that!), so I've no problem keeping her for a while, but I may Terminate her contract early. And for the sake of my sanity I may just have to let it all wash over me in the meantime!

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 19:59

Constant things like that would drive me barmy VictoriaM! It sounds like she has mentally checked out of her job already. I guess you just need to decide if she has built up enough goodwill in the time she has been with you to put up with it all and keep employing her until she retires.

562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 18:59

You're probably right Daza. If anything she seems worse and I am getting a bit fed up of repeating myself. It's a shame as she is incredibly willing and hard working, but doesn't seem so good at learning and changing. Perhaps too experienced or long in the tooth (LOL, she's younger than I am, but may have lost interest in being a maid as she's "retiring" next year). Perfect example just now. I brought in a new product for her to use and asked her if she'd read the instructions. She said there weren't any. I looked at the back of the pack and it said 'peel to see instructions'. So I said 'what does that say then' and she read it out to me. Oh I didn't see that she says!! Very, very typical.

4062

Posts

EW MASTER

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 18:41

I don't think you are being unreasonable VictoriaM. If she was new then I'd say it's just a matter of training but if she is in to her third year with you then I doubt she's going to suddenly improve. If her job is laundry/cleaning etc then with the amount of time she has been doing it she should be able to do that job without constant errors, guidance and correcting. Whether it's laziness or lack of common sense it doesn't really matter if the end result is the same. Whether someone is a maid or a CEO they really should be capable of doing the job the are paid for. If they can't, it might be time for another job.

1430

Posts

EW OLDHAND

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 18:29

Trying to work out if my expectations are unreasonable or not! For those of you with experienced maids who can read English and are paid at the higher end of the scale for these reasons, would you expect them to use some initiative and actually read washing labels/check fabric types, or (another example) read a recipe they've been given rather than just looki g at the pictures, or read instructions on household products? Recent experience suggests i may be wrong to expect some initiative. If so, is there any point in paying a premium for a more mature, experienced maid with decent English if they do t use their common sense?! Just had a pair of newish, fairly expensive, very manmade trousers ruined as our maid put them in with my husbands white cotton shirts. Fabric is very stretchy and clearly very unnatural! I can live with mistakes, but we are seeing quite a lot of situations where our maid seems to lack some common sense. Yestrdays similar example was treating stains on clothes with something that is not stain remover (despite ha i g 2 stain remover products). Ive been told before not to make assumptions and to spell everythi g out. But is this just at the start or even after being wih you for a good while ? It seems strange to have to start training our maid after 2-3 years! At the moment i seem to be intervening all the time and tutting a lot! If you buy new clothes do you make sure your maid knows how to wash each i dividual garment? I wouldn't worry, it's not a maid thing, my mother in law (British) has just been to stay and 'helped' with the laundry by tumble drying 8 separate items, in various washes and ruined all these items! Then put so much powder in it stained white DH's work trousers - which are navy! (I have a branded powder measure!). Then had the b@lls to ask me which was the delicate wash on my machine as her tshirts were 'delicates'!

562

Posts

EW GURU

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 17:59

She is in her third year with us already! Do maids get complacent after a while? I seem to be picking her up on things constantly at the moment. Is it unreasonable of me to expect her to read labels on new clothes and instructions on household products, goiven of course that she can read? I cant tell her everything. Surely she has to use her brain and read things herself too. She is not particularly good at changing her actions when corrected (seems to forget a lot), nor does she learn from observation ie she doesnt follow how we do things or where we put things. All normal, or am i being too demanding?

20

Posts

EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 13 October 2015 - 17:00

Yes, you will need to spell it out at least the first couple of weeks until you ensure she does things as you want, with your standards. Laundry is a mystery, to many. I have had lower paid household helpers who do a fantastic job, creative, smart, and working with heart. In every time, I find it necessary to guide them to how I like things done, while I am open to their suggestions. In the end, helpers are not really trained anywhere, per se, they just go by experience. Maybe this one has never done any laundry before, or just not willing to make any effort. You will need to put an effort with her to lay your rules, in all aspects of the household work (not just laundry). I did not understand the part about training her after 2-3 years, it would be extremely awkward that she is not catching up, yet, and from your end being patient with her after all these years. Not sure. All the best

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