Things You Only Know If You Don’t Like Sharing Food |

Things You Only Know If You Don’t Like Sharing Food

Don’t touch my chips!

Posted on

5 March 2019

Things You Only Know If You Don’t Like Sharing Food

All Credits: PA

Sharing is caring we’re told, but when it comes to food – surely not?

If you too dread the words ‘sharing platter’ and ‘shall we order some for the table?’ this is for you…

When someone leans across the table to dunk their naan in your curry sauce -the curry sauce you were saving until the end, to enjoy as your last bite – you just want to scream.

You’re fully prepared to walk out of a restaurant if presented with a menu of dishes followed by the waiter saying: “We’d recommend five or six dishes to start, between you.”

The eating of chips is a nuanced dance concerning the right amounts of vinegar, salt and sauce. If there’s bowl of fries to share, you just know someone is going to get ketchup in the mayo and you’re going to have to tut aggressively at them.

You can’t be dealing with the etiquette around ‘the shame’ – that last morsel of a shared dessert everyone is too awkward to just scoff. This wouldn’t happen if everyone had just ordered their own sticky toffee pudding.

No, you don’t want to split a mushroom rice and peshwari naan at the Indian. Yes, you are hungry enough to finish both portions all on your own.

Anyone who hovers over your dinner with their own fork and asks to ‘just have a taste’ will cease to be your friend/family member from this point onward.

You are ok with dipping into a huge bowl of shared salad, but you’d much rather be allowed to sort out your own dressing.

Pizza is made for sharing, yes, but it makes you so incredibly stressed out watching someone else reach for the biggest slice. That was meant to be yours dammit.

No one can have your last Rolo, ever.

The Lady And The Tramp spaghetti scene is not cute, it’s a nightmare.

‘Family-style’ food – when everything is laid out on platters – requires tenacity, planning, and getting to the table first.

A buffet you can handle because the rules are clear that everyone can help themselves, and you can do repeat visits to the spread, so you can pretty much guarantee you won’t go hungry.

When sharing food, there’s always someone who’ll say, ‘I’m actually not that hungry’ who will then proceed to eat way more than their fair share. You hate them.

You really like soup. Soup cannot be shared. Actually, bowl food in general was a brilliant invention.

One-for-one when it comes to crisps is not a concept you’re familiar with.