Funny things people say | ExpatWoman.com
 

Funny things people say

1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 08:17

Someone has just told me 'maam today your face is not good'.

::confused:

:(

:lol: :lol: :lol:

What funny things have been said to you?

*Disclaimer: In jest/spirit of Thursday/no offence meant/just for fun/etc

1010
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 29 May 2015 - 05:50
OMG Beebers!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol::lol: This is the funniest one EVER!!!!!! I have laughed so loudly have probably woken everyone up! And it's funniest because you can absolutely imagine the scene OMG HILARIOUS!!!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 29 May 2015 - 04:52
In a taxi, headed home from DXB airport. Radio silence for 15 minutes, then Driver: You are coming from where? Me: X country Driver: And now you are coming to Dubai? Me: (?) Yes that's right. Driver: You prefer X country more than Dubai? Me: No, I just flew there for a meeting Driver: You are from which country? Me: Y country Driver: You prefer Y country or Dubai? Me: I suppose Dubai Driver: One more tiny question? Me: Yes? Driver: Man or woman? Me: Excuse me? Driver: Man or woman? Me: Which do I prefer???? Driver: No...which are you? Me: I'm a woman. (I smile. Did this just happen?) Driver: I was not sure. But you are very beautiful Me: Errrr thanks :thinking:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 May 2015 - 16:55
One of these days I'm going to point out a flaw of theirs to see how they like it. Childish? Yes. Worth it? Oh yes!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 May 2015 - 13:40
Browsing In Boots, the sales assistant: " you need something mam?" Me: "no thanks I'm fine" sa: " yes mam you need something for your face, you have many lines! " :cry:
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 27 May 2015 - 19:19
When I declined a new loyalty card at MMI because I'm leaving permanently next month, the guy who works there said, "Oh, we'll miss your good custom" I don't buy THAT much! :( ha!!! good one... it conjours up mental images of them reorganising their stock ordering system to compensate, after you leave :lol: :win:
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 27 May 2015 - 19:09
so, apparently my hair is going grey and I need to start colouring it. And am looking tired today. <sigh>
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 May 2015 - 22:32
Oh well....lobster n coke lol....what a pair.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 22 May 2015 - 21:18
Indeed I am. We didn't get to go lobster huntin' either.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 May 2015 - 20:11
Awww are you really leaving? We didn't even have our coke and brazilian lime.
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 17:42
When I declined a new loyalty card at MMI because I'm leaving permanently next month, the guy who works there said, "Oh, we'll miss your good custom" I don't buy THAT much! :(
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 16:08
Does anyone else get the question: "No work today, maam?" The funny thing is that I work but obviously not on the weekends, when I usually get asked. Is this because guards typically have only 1 day off? #confused
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 14:04
Littleone, that was hillarious! :lol::lol::lol:
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 13:39
DH went to look at an apartment DH.... This apartment is not ready Guy....Yes Sir its ready DH..... but it has no glass in the window Guy.... yes Sir DH......well its not ready then Guy.....Yes Sir, you get nice breeze: no need for AC on A gazebo then :biggrin:
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 13:11
DH went to look at an apartment DH.... This apartment is not ready Guy....Yes Sir its ready DH..... but it has no glass in the window Guy.... yes Sir DH......well its not ready then Guy.....Yes Sir, you get nice breeze: no need for AC on
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EW GURU
Latest post on 20 May 2015 - 12:58
A lady stopped me in the street and was asking if i needed a maid. I said "no, but if you get me your cv i'll ask around the office" and then gave her my villa number. Last night when i'm in bed i hear the door bell ring. Husband opens it:- Maid: Hello Sir, Ma'am told me to bring cv DH: I think you've got the wrong house, we have a maid. Maid: No Sir, number 9, I remember DH: OK then what does my wife look like Maid: A little bit fat DH: Definitely not my wife (closes the door) So does he think I'm not fat at all or a lot fat :lol:
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 19 May 2015 - 17:30
This thread is on the 'scroll' at the top :lol: someone had better add some more funnies. <waiting>
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EW GURU
Latest post on 17 May 2015 - 16:20
Our tea boy at the office makes the worst tea I've tasted in my life. I can't even describe how bad it is. It tastes like burned water with some kind of stale tea flavour. It is not drinkable. So after a few of these bad experiences with his tea I became very vocal and let him know just how bad his tea is. He thinks it tastes fine so I think it will never improve. However he has been trying very hard to improve his brewing skills. Every morning he places a cup of tea in front of me and says "madam please try. It is special tea". And he stands and waits till I send it away, everyday. Last Thursday the general manager (who always drinks coffee) overheard the tea boy and decided that he also wanted to drink some of this "special tea" I couldn't stop laughing. Now the GM wants to buy a machine to make "special tea"
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 16 May 2015 - 22:44
I walked into work one morning with no make up on: the 'office-boy' (*cringe* at his job title...) took one look at me and said 'My God! What happened?' It wasn't a great day for me!
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 15 May 2015 - 11:54
Littleone, that's so funny--DH and I have similar interchanges with the watchmen in our building and I swear--it could be the same one based on what you are describing LOL. we do the nickname thing too
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 13:49
OMG littleone, that's a really good one! I love it :) Wish we had security guards like yours to remind DH! Our guards are awesome, we always stop to say good morning or afternoon and ask after them and families, we are always welcomed home with a big smile and hello's and waved too every morning on our way to work. Unfortunately we dont know their names (its completely lost in translation) and we have tried very hard to learn them, DH and I have knicknamed for all the guys so when we talk so we know who we are talking about. We have Octember, because he said he was going home in Octember, we bring him back the newspapers when we go to Sri Lanka. And "glasses dude" as his glasses are enormous and highlight his rather bushy eyebrows we thought glasses dude was better than hairy eyebrow dude, he is retiring soon as he has a heart condition, he is the most senior. And there our two favourites "welcome back", which he says in a powerful and happy way with the biggest smile, he is Ugandan and despite how many times I ask his name I just cant say it right, it must be my Aussie twang. And there is "god bless you", he is incredibly sweet and polite, plus we talk about the cricket so there were long stops when the World Cup was on. I bake and take down muffins and biscuits for holidays and they share it with the other guys on the other shifts.
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 13:22
These are brilliant!! :lol: The real boss :lol:
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 13:21
OMG littleone, that's a really good one! I love it :) Wish we had security guards like yours to remind DH!
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 13:19
This is turning into an 'Overheard in McDonalds' thread :biggrin:
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EW OLDHAND
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 13:12
Yesterday our security guard: where is sir Me: he is at work Security Guard: Oh we thought you divorce him Me: I might if he keeps working late Security Guard: I make a good husband! The best thing was that he was completely joking and when my DH came home he asked me if I was trying to get rid of him because the security guard said to him on the way in, "you look after maam otherwise we will find her another husband...no more working this late sir!" Bless our guards, they are all so lovely.
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 12:41
Security Guard: Hello mam, can I speak to sir Me: He is not at home, how can I help? Security Guard: The security pass, I must speak to sir Me: It was me who lost the pass, what is it you need? Security Guard: No I must speak to the boss Me: I am the boss, how can I help? Security Guard: Yes mam I know you are the boss however I need to speak to the real boss Me: The boss will be home next week Security Guard: But we need payment to order a new card Me: I can pay by cash, is that all you need? Security Guard: yes mam
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 12:40
Came out of the changing rooms after trying on something that was too small. Shop assistant shouts over to my husband "maybe she needs more exercise!" This was just before going on holiday after months of dieting :cry: Could you imagine a Sales Assistant at home in Debenhams saying that LOL Haha! I do find a lot of people here speak without engaging brain first lol
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 12:29
Came out of the changing rooms after trying on something that was too small. Shop assistant shouts over to my husband "maybe she needs more exercise!" This was just before going on holiday after months of dieting :cry: Could you imagine a Sales Assistant at home in Debenhams saying that LOL
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 12:15
Came out of the changing rooms after trying on something that was too small. Shop assistant shouts over to my husband "maybe she needs more exercise!" This was just before going on holiday after months of dieting :cry:
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 10:53
A few years' ago my neighbour's daughter, when asked how she was after flying back to Dubai from the UK, said that she was 'totally jet-bagged' ?
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EW MASTER
Latest post on 14 May 2015 - 10:14
In River Island two weeks ago trying on an outfit. I asked the sales assistant if she could help me button up the back of the top i was trying on She asked if i had just given birth as your boobs are really big. I just laughed
 
 

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