Daza | ExpatWoman.com
 

Daza

Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 13 May 2013 - 14:42
Paying your maid while you are away and her attitude are two separate issues. When you take on the responsibility of becoming an employer you are obligated to pay your employees regardless of whether they are worked to the bone 18 hours a day or lying on the couch eating mango. If there isn't enough for them to do then that is their good (or bad, depending how you look at it) luck. It doesn't mean you can shirk your financial responsibility, even if you feel they don't deserve the money. If your maid is unwilling to do the job you've hired her to do then you need to fire her. If she is arguing with you over what is expected then she clearly has no intention doing the job as you want it done. It's better that you find some who will do the job as asked and she finds another job that suits her better. As for what is normal and acceptable, our maid also does cleaning, ironing and laundry with no cooking and minimal childcare. She gets it all done, our home is always spotless and she's always happy to help with anything I ask. Also, if your relationship with her is not good, do you really want her in your home for two weeks while you aren't there? You might find you come back to half your stuff missing, along with your maid. Just from what you've said it sounds like you have good reason to be annoyed with your maid but not paying her is not the answer.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 May 2013 - 16:16
Just wondering how you are Lynett84? I hope you are doing ok :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 May 2013 - 16:06
Are all the quakes around the same time of day? I always seem to be on Sheikh Mohammed Bin Zayed Road on the school run and don't feel a thing.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 May 2013 - 16:04
Don't worry Alemania, all my children have gone through phases of hating teeth brushing, they do get over it :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 12 May 2013 - 15:41
On Sheikh Mohammed Bin Zayed road it's not crazy drivers that I find make it perilous, it's drivers lane drifting, especially those in small trucks. I'm pretty sure I'd be doing some lane drifting myself if I'd been working all day and fasting. Apart from the roads there is a really nice feeling during Ramadan, it's lovely :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2013 - 15:49
Great! Thank you amelia. Mich, just done a renewal and a passport for my new baby, they took less than two weeks to come back. Impressive!
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2013 - 14:47
I've just renewed my 5 year old's British Passport which has arrived. No sign yet of the old passport. I know with renewals in the past the old passport was returned - although sent separately. Does anyone know if this still happens now the passport is processed in the UK? Or is the old passport not returned anymore?
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2013 - 14:42
When starting teeth brushing I normally do mine at the same time as my baby with lots of smiling to show how fun it is. Every dentist I've been too has told me children need help brushing their teeth until the age of eight. My oldest child is seven, we brush her teeth with me starting and her finishing.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2013 - 14:38
Also ... this isn't so much a rule as advice: try and keep off the roads after 4pm and before 7pm because they can be dangerous what with so many people dashing to get home for Iftar (to break their fasts). It can be quite scary! Top tip LadyBee! I plan my days around avoiding driving at these times. Or in the afternoon at all actually, the roads get progressively worse as the day goes on.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 11 May 2013 - 14:35
Supermarkets etc are still open as usual. Most restaurants/cafes will be closed during the day but there are always some open, they just have be covered from view so curtains or blinds will be drawn. There is always a list of places open on here or in Time Out. Coffee places like Costa, Starbucks etc are often open for takeaway only. I normally wear clothes to ankle and wrist during Ramadan but just make sure your shoulders/upper arms and knees are covered.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 09 May 2013 - 17:36
Decathlon has a dance wear section, not sure about tutus specifically. [url=http://www.sandypants.com/shop/clothing/Girls-Bottoms/'>SandyPants[/url'> has gorgeous tutu style ruffled skirts.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 09 May 2013 - 16:16
I use an exercycle in the evening as soon as my children are in bed. I find it really good because I need something that I don't need to leave the house for. I watch TV when I'm on it, an episode of Grey's Anatomy is the perfect length of time and the kilometers zip by. It's low impact so good for a new starter to exercise.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 09 May 2013 - 11:16
Travelling without children is my secret to staying fresh on a long flight ;) Dress comfortably, take your shoes off and put socks on asap, make sure you keep hydrated (REALLY important), use plenty of lip balm and also moisturiser if you get dry skin. Don't eat too much and avoid very salty foods on the plane, eat for the local time zone when you arrive eg. breakfast at breakfast time etc. Good luck!
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 May 2013 - 13:31
Not sure if I dare ask this (!) - but are maids not entitled to a gratuity like everyone else? I thought it was labour law so it is a genuine question, are maid contracts different? Maids aren't covered by labour law so are not entitled to a gratuity. It's at their employers discretion.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 May 2013 - 10:28
Gratuity-gate :-P Daza I do love your posts, you are so balanced and wise! :) Thanks TB although I'm sure I'm neither in real life! :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 08 May 2013 - 10:24
I'm a huge fan of pure coconut oil too. Morning and evening. I use sunblock or a tinted moisturisor if going out in the sun.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 May 2013 - 14:32
Cushion, I would be really annoyed that she'd asked for it but I wouldn't let my annoyance over one comment negate 5 years of working for my family. You were planning on giving her a gratuity and you must have been happy with her to renew so many times so it seems a shame to end things on a bad note because of one misjudged question. It sounds like you are a bit fed up with having a maid in general and maybe this is adding to your feeling of annoyance? I know for me that any fleeting satisfaction that I got from not giving her a gratuity would be quickly replaced and far outlived by a sense of guilt that I hadn't done the right thing.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 07 May 2013 - 14:15
There are clothes recycling bins as samz says, we have them in our building in JLT. That being said, even with labels on, underwear is a difficult one, [b'>as some people can be known to leave labels attached even when they are wearing the clothes[/b'>, which I have never understood. Maybe they are the same people who leave the plastic covers on their car seats?
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 14:31
Boo. Back in my IT days I would have said log our, delete all your cookies, hard refresh (ctrl F5) then log back in. That was a long time ago though, probably utterly redundant advice now.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 14:15
Maybe it depends on what sort of files you are sending? Pictures and word documents are working fine. Haven't tried pdfs though.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 14:03
All fine for me. I don't send that many attachments but the ones I have have been fine.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 13:34
Daza I salute you for the permo-pregnancy, one was hard enough, although I do believe you forget the horrors as I am broody again! Next thread - DH and I co-sleeping with 6 infants lool! There's no horrors fourth time around TDB, only awesomeness :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 13:25
To be so late is utterly disrepectful especially when you have a young fan base and he may be an arrogant little twerp but I certainly don't think you can call him talentless. Like him or not, he has musical talent in spades. As a few people have said, he needs a strong manager who can pull him in to line but unfortunately he has a young manager who is no doubt scared of losing his golden goose to someone else so he doesn't speak up. Regardless of his mother being young or not, what can she do? He's nineteen, I didn't listen to my mother when I was nineteen. He's obviously going off the rails but given what he has on offer I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner. Teenage rebellion doesn't necessarily resign you to the scrap heap, I'm sure there was more than one screaming teenager there this week that it only adds to the allure - especially given the angst it causes parents. I feel so sorry for all the tired disappointed children and upset parents after his late show on Saturday. I went with my children last night, we hoped for an earlier start but were prepared for a late one after what had happened the night before (and on previous tour dates). We had a great time and thought he put on a really good show.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 12:58
So I say, do not be in a hurry, enjoy babies, early nights etc. At this age your baby could still wake up at any time. That might work if you have just one baby but when I had my fourth baby earlier this year it had been seven years of being pregnant, having babies, breastfeeding etc. That's a LONG time to put your marriage on the back burner! I love all the precious baby stuff (which is why I've had four) but I love time out with my husband too.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 06 May 2013 - 10:24
Thank you for your posts DesertRose. I love your insights with hindsight.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 17:13
Right. Next time, I will say, "TDB, you are great, wonderful and a perfect parent ... but you might consider putting your child first?" I can't work out how going out in the evening when your child is asleep is somehow not attending to their needs or doing them a disservice. Why do you think it is Quinn10?
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 16:12
Hi Cleo4e It's awful feeling like the bad cop all the time. It's great that your maid is building a relationship with your son but it shouldn't be at the expense of your relationship with him. She really needs to be working with you on this and at the moment (although I'm sure it's not deliberate or with ill intent) she is working against you. She needs to follow your rules, plain and simple. What works for our home is that I have very strict boundaries with our maid and children. They've been in place since day one and I was very clear from the start about what her role would be. I did it not only to avoid what you are describing but also because if I'm busy doing something I think it's important that they learn how to wait and amuse themselves for a time rather than go running to her to play with them. It helps them learn patience and independent play helps their imaginations soar. Our maid only plays with our children if I have specifically asked her to. They know they are not to ask her to play with them either. If they want something they have to ask me and if I'm busy they wait. It also means that she isn't jumping in doing things that they really should be doing for themselves. Her time actually playing with them is minimal, she used to have half an hour with them while I was cooking their dinner but I stopped that a while back. I sometimes leave my three year old with her if he's tired at school run time. She does evening babysitting once I've put them to bed. They really like her and she is great with them when they do play. She knows their routine so she could jump in if there was ever an emergency but I prefer to do the day to day stuff myself.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 13:38
If it's what you want to do then there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like you need some time out in the evening. On the other side of the coin though, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to leave your children either. If your husband doesn't want to, I don't think it's fair to try to make him or to make him feel guilty. If it was roles reversed and you posted saying your husband wanted you get dressed up and go out on a regular date night but you felt your baby was too young I'm sure more than one person would tell you to tell him where to go! It does seem a little odd though that your daughter is in nursery but your husband still thinks it's not ok to leave her in the evening (given she'll be asleep). Did he used to like going out before you had her? Is there a chance he is using her as an excuse to stay home on the couch? In saying all that, I love going out and letting my hair down with my husband, I think it good for our marriage and good for us generally. It's something we both want to do though. We start going out later than 5 months but that's due to breast feeding. I'd say keep gently trying to entice your husband out and have 'date nights' at home in the interim. You could ban any mention of baby related matter on date night if that works. Go out with your girlfriends when you need to let your hair down.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 13:03
[url=http://catchbeachclub.com/phuket-club-pdf/CatchBeachClub-Wines.pdf'>Here[/url'> is the wine list from the place we spent most of our time last summer.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 20:44
I always take some nice bedware for me. Nighties rather than pyjamas as I find them more comfortable and with thin straps rather than sleeves so easy to breastfeed in. A dressing gown and slippers to wear if you leave your room. Bed socks in case your feet get cold (common after an epidural if you have one). I take everything of my own, nappies, pads, breast pads, cotton, body wash etc as I invariably don't like the hospital brand. DON"T FORGET LIP BALM. It's miserable being in hospital for any reason without lip balm. Take baby clothes that are easy to put on, when you are getting to grips with their gorgeous floppy little heads it's easier to have baby grows/sleep suits that have fasteners up the front or side rather than over the head. I also take all my own food as I find hospital food minging and totally inadequate for recovering from the rigours of having a baby or starting milk production. Nothing particularly gas producing though - not good for you or baby! Good luck.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 20:28
I only avoid the pool with my children if their noses are running green (yuck!) and that's more for the benefit of other pool users than for them.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 20:21
But the emphasis should be on 'decent', Daza. Certainly one would HOPE that a 'decent' chiro/ortho would do the right thing and refer a patient on to an appropriate specialist, but personally,[b'>[b'>[b'> I'd rather put my faith in someone with an actual medical [/b'>degree[/b'>[/b'> than a complementary/alternative health specialist, especially when it came to a tiny child. There's nothing wrong with complementary medicine of course, if it's used properly and respectfully, but there are so many quacks about, one has to be careful. Each to their own though. Glad you got your problems sorted. :) Ha! Having an actual medical degree is certainly no guarantee of any sort of competence whatsover. If it was, I would have been told some absolutely bonkers things by doctors such as my baby's conjunctivitis was chlamydia in his eye or my daughter was underweight because she hadn't had all her jabs (she had, he obviously couldn't read properly either...). As you say though, each to their own. <em>edited by Daza on 04/05/2013</em>
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 16:56
Yes and yes.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 16:09
I agree with arohadxb. Any decent chiro/ortho would refer your child to another specialist if they thought that was what as needed. As they are dealing with muscular/skeletal issues on a daily basis they may well spot something that a medical doctor doesn't AND have the skills needed to treat it. After a recommendation on this site I've just taken my baby to Lauren at the [url=http://www.osteopathydubai.com/'>Osteopathic Health Centre.[/url'> He is also favouring facing one side which is very common in babies but I mainly took him as I think osteopathy can be really beneficial just in general. He has some muscular tension down one side which is why he is generally facing the same direction when lying down. After one session he is already facing the other way more. My first baby also benefitted from a few sessions with a cranial osteopath.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 13:31
I often drive, there is a huge carpark and I've never not gotten a space despite not ever arriving before 7.30pm.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 04 May 2013 - 10:41
That sounds like heaven to me ... I could send my four small children to you for a bit? Lots of energy :) That's a really really unhelpful thing to say. I was recently on pregnancy bed rest or house rest for several months so I know exactly how isolating and unhappy it is. I was lucky enough to have my husband being very supportive, my children to cheer me up and friends visiting me and it was still awful. I was in a fragile state of mind and I got one (luckily just one) comment similar to yours and it really upset me. I have four small children too and I'd take a day of them at their absolute worst over another day of uncertainty and bed rest. You probably didn't mean to to be hurtful but as someone who has very recently experienced both sides of the coin, I'm just letting you know how upsetting such a comment can be. Sorry Lynett84, rant over, back to positive :) I'm sending lots of good vibes your way. Don't know if you've read them but the Game of Thrones series of books were a great time filler when I was laid up. They are big, there are lots of them and they are excellent escapism. I also made sure I kept up with lots of newspaper sites from around the world , it's something I normally do anyway but I made an extra effort to help with the feeling of being totally detached from everything. I also recorded plenty of mindless TV like Homes Under the Hammer and Come Dine With Me. Light hearted, funny and perfect when I needed to switch off for a bit. As my sudden jump in post count at the time will attest to, I also spent a fair bit of time on EW :) It also sounds like you need to tell your husband to pull his socks up a bit. He can't help being busy with work but he needs to put you before his social life at the moment. It's only for a few months and you really need the support right now. Especially if you are pregnant, your state of mind is important for the baby and he really needs to be looking after both of you. Just remember, what you are going through now WILL end, you WILL get through this and it WILL be worth it. I can honestly tell you that it's an amazing feeling to come out the end and get back in to the real world again so focus on the end goal. Lots of positive energy coming your way!
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 16:16
Women being readily available for celebs or a bit of slap and tickle at work is one thing but a number of the cases involve young girls. Stuart Hall admitted groping a nine year old. NINE.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 16:04
I can't think of Freddie Starr without adding "ate my hamster" in my head.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 16:02
Fazaris. It's the only one there that does breakfast (I think).
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 15:40
damn any suggestions for a nice breakfast with view on a friday morning? The Address at Downtown Burj Khalifa. Big outside terrace, lovely garden and fabulous view of the Burj. Food excellent, it's a buffet.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 15:38
Safa and Horizon schools adopted that research 2 or 3 years ago - we only have reading and optional projects from the school's website up until years 5 or 6... Sorry Pikachu, you're right, it's not every school in Dubai as I implied. Good for Safa and Horizon. What I should have said is that Repton is woefully behind the times.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 15:15
That sucks kissymac, good luck to your children in securing a place soon. If your post makes even one person inform a school that they will not require a place then that will be at least one child that gets a happy phone call.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 15:12
Other things - penguins at MOE Just to let you know, Ski Dubai told me that I couldn't go in to the snowpark or penguin encounter if pregnant. Obviously fine if not showing but if visibly pregnant, avoid.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 15:09
I've been told by a few primary teachers in NZ that the emphasis (backed by the latest research) is to not have homework at primary level. Dubai is woefully behind the times.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 14:57
Good, am glad they are all finally being brought to justice. I don't care if it was 4 days ago or 41 years ago, these disgusting old p%rves should not get away with their filthy wandering hands. Some poor girls must have been traumatised for life! Clearly there was a culture of being able to get away with it. Well not any more. Totally agree. What shocks me is that even if there was a culture of it, why are there so many adult men that clearly get their jollies by groping girls and young teens? Even if they could get away with it, why would they want to do it in the first place? It sickens me that there are so many, is it representative of the general population or somehow more prevalent in personality types that are attracted to showbiz in the first place?
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 14:26
SB, it gets worse and worse and they start to hate it, we hate it and this sets the feeling towards homework for high school. Exactly! They should be fostering a love of learning, not crushing it out of them.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 14:11
I hear you SB, I HATE homework and how it encroaches on our time. My children are in school all day, can they really not have their time at home free to do as they please? When at home I'd much rather they were interacting with each other and learning/practicing other skills rather than just more school work.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 13:56
alice74, thank you for taking the time to explain why your maid sleeps with your children and how it works for you. It's nice to know that not all maids who share a room with children are being treated badly which is what I thought. I'm pleased to be wrong :)
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 13:52
I agree, well done SuzyDuzy. Unfortunately I don't think the bosses words ring true. If your gardener was meant to resting then what was he doing at work? And even if it is 'just' a sprain, why has his boss not provided a bandage or wrist guard? He shouldn't have to make do with a homemade splint. Anyway, you've done as much as you can and at least the boss is now aware that clients are watching and concerned for the welfare of their gardeners, hopefully it will make him treat them better even if it's only to avoid upsetting clients.
Daza
4062
Posts
EW MASTER
Latest post on 01 May 2013 - 21:48
I'd be jealous too Pikachu! I wouldn't give up nighttime stuff with my children for anything. I love checking on them and watching them breathe and seeing how peaceful they are. I can't imagine doing that with a maid tucked up in the room with them.
 
 
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