Doubting Thomas | ExpatWoman.com
 

Doubting Thomas

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Latest post on 20 October 2014 - 09:09
Not at all in this woman's defense, but it must be horrible coming from Al Reem in the mornings. Must take hours. When we lived there in 2007, it took us 10 minutes to even reach the exit. Now they've built so many more houses and it's so much more crowded - and the exit is a mess - it must be a nightmare. Surely they will build another exit for those poor people! It was fine until we came back from summer - seemed the disaster happened almost overnight !! Now it can take 30 minutes to get onto Umm Sequiem or 15 to "Emirates" road...main problem seems to be all the communities along the old bypass road becoming occupied - suddenly the world and his wife are streaming through Studio City and Motor City roundabouts making it increasingly difficult to get out...The last few mornings there's been a police man on the junction controlling the traffic which has helped a bit but I now go round Global Village to save time..
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Latest post on 20 October 2014 - 09:03
We must all frequent different areas of Dubai !! Personally I agree with Ohman - most people I meet here are cheerful and polite..always ready to exchange a smile and good morning. Maybe I just don't notice them but I can't recall queue jumpers in shops although queuing for petrol has its moments sometimes !! lol Maybe if you expect everyone to be rude or thoughtless you notice it more... To be honest it's one of the worst things about going home - all the shop assistants and people in general are so bl***y miserable !! lol
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Latest post on 20 October 2014 - 08:54
I hate it. Even chimpanzees can use IPads - there is no need to teach this in schools. Plus, since my son is required to have his own IPad and use it for homework, it makes it very difficult to limit its use after school. My sister lives around the corner from Apple in California and I can tell you her children aren't using them in schools. Most kids don't even have one. Steve Jobs never allowed his kids to have them !! lol Is my 10 year old the only one without his own ipad or phone ? I let him borrow mine for games but he doesn't know the password so can't download anything without me and we can control the amount of time he uses it for..
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Latest post on 20 October 2014 - 08:47
I guess the OP must be new to Dubai if she finds this unusual... This morning through the Ranches the car behind me sped past myself, a taxi and a school bus causing the oncoming school bus to brake...sadly a regular occurrence..
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Latest post on 19 October 2014 - 21:08
It's definitely a cultural thing and how people are reared. Whenever I gave my husband's niece and nephew a gift (ages 5 and 6) they just took it and left. Their mother seeing my shocked expression shouts at them "say thanks!" but of course they don't then she says "my kids never say thanks to anyone". As soon as i learned to talk i was taught to say please and thank you for everything. My in laws actually make a joke of it that whenever we eat lunch at my mother in laws (she cooks), after the food i say "thank you very much". They all get hysterical, including my MIL and say "why do you always say thanks? :s " I see how that can be true, the same exact thing happened with me. I thought they were just too surprised to say anything but that's how they act. They just walk off. I was really surprised when my daughter went to a birthday party and the birthday girl didn't even open her gifts. we stopped giving any gifts after that. Actually I think that's really common...every party we've ever had we've always brought the presents home to be opened quietly so he can enjoy them properly and I can make a note of who has given what for the thank you letters.. Likewise, every party we've ever been to always has the presents in an unopened pile... I don't think there's anything wrong with that - the kids are too excited to be bothered with it anyway..
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Latest post on 19 October 2014 - 16:29
Our next door neighbour has gutted his villa and built an extension - I've had non-stop pneumatic drills and banging from 7 am til 5.30 since I came back from summer, 7 weeks - he's had the entire floor up 3 times...I've complained to Emaar as has my landlady and the lady living the other side of him... This morning I caught a builder filling the cement bucket up from my outside tap !! We've had cement splashes on our car bonnets and men standing on my wall looking into my kitchen for hours at a time... Been an absolute nightmare....sorry to hijack...just in the mood to rant !! lol Were Emaar any help? I had to go to them when my neighbor was using my balcony as an ashtray. They wrote a firm letter to him and advised that if they didn't cease then they would be fined and the police called. Also have you spoke to the owner of the property. That may help He IS the owner !! lol And yes Emaar were very helpful - he apparently has permission for a garden structure but not the extension so over a week ago he was told to take it down - it is coming down slowly but the noise hasn't stopped...the whole ground floor of the villa is literally just rubble still...
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Latest post on 19 October 2014 - 15:17
I've known quite a few teachers over the years and the one thing they dread is the Christmas gift tradition. My first house share after university was with two other teachers and I remember sitting down at the table with them and going through the gifts they'd received on the last day of school before Christmas, and 90% of it was thrown away. As much as they love and appreciate the effort from the students, there's only so many cheap chocolates, scented candles and small bags of cheap toiletries one can put up with. And you also need to be careful about baking cookies or cakes for teachers. Odds are it'll probably be tossed away too. The teachers I knew would have been just as happy with a handmade card. Ever mindful of that I just contribute to the class kitty and let the PTA organize a special dinner or event for the teachers. But I do agree that 250 per child is quite a lot. Think about it, if a primary year teacher has 24 students and they each chipped 250 AED, that's 6,000 AED, or 12 high end brunches! 100 to 150 sounds perfectly generous to me. edited by Tallybalt on 19/10/2014 edited by Tallybalt on 19/10/2014 Sounds like you had a nasty bunch of friends...all the teachers I've ever met, without exception, are very appreciative of their gifts and would always find an appropriate new home for them if they couldn't keep them all themselves...I'd be very offended if I thought my child's gifts were considered "cheap".. We always give our own gifts to the teachers we like at Christmas, Easter and end of year plus I contribute whatever the class mum asks for towards a group gift. However, I do think 250 sounds quite a lot to ask for up front, even if it does cover multiple occasions... Ours is usually around the 50 or 100 mark per gift (or an unspecified amount), which I think is fair.
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Latest post on 19 October 2014 - 15:10
Are you a Native Arabic speaker? I spoke to a lady in AD recently who is British however speaks Arabic fluently and has been turned down at interviews as a lot of cos in AD are looking for Native Arabic speakers who can speak English fluently these days. If you have a license, consider AD. 2 years is not a lot of experience, though. [b'>By 23, the competition can have 4 years experience[/b'>, so be prepared to polish your CV Are you American? Or were you only living there? Consider Apple, as I believe they were recruiting recently for their flagship regional hub. There is stiff competition in this field, as Indians dominate it and there are a lot of Indians workers here looking for positions. edited by Londiamond on 19/10/2014 If they do they're unlikely to have the same qualifications !!
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Latest post on 19 October 2014 - 15:04
Our next door neighbour has gutted his villa and built an extension - I've had non-stop pneumatic drills and banging from 7 am til 5.30 since I came back from summer, 7 weeks - he's had the entire floor up 3 times...I've complained to Emaar as has my landlady and the lady living the other side of him... This morning I caught a builder filling the cement bucket up from my outside tap !! We've had cement splashes on our car bonnets and men standing on my wall looking into my kitchen for hours at a time... Been an absolute nightmare....sorry to hijack...just in the mood to rant !! lol
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 21:30
Hello Conorsmum90, I know how you feel, I've been there. Don't panic and start thinking of the move. Pre-school and schools here are pretty competitive and pricey at times. You will need to look into your budget and contact the schools regarding saving a seat for your child. Regarding your teaching job, currently there has been a boom in education industry so you will be able to get a job provided you have experience and accreditation. [b'>You can also do part time and carry out private lessons that isnt a problem[/b'>. Unfortunately this is not an option if you want to stay on the right side of the law !!
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 12:42
You can easily take more than 20 photos in the Miracle Garden but the theme will all be the same.... I once took a lot of photos around the antique/carpet stores in the Souk Madinat plus scenes of the Burj al Arab and the abras...
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 01:59
Oh right...sounds fun....minus the food.... :D
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 01:24
oh... sorry, never heard of Glamour cakes either !!
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 01:13
who ?
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Latest post on 18 October 2014 - 00:05
LOL !! sorry - been drooling over Gary Barlow :D
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 23:52
Am buzzing !! Just got back from Gary Barlow and O.M.G.
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 23:51
It's like traffic fines; we rant and rave but ultimately we have to pay up because they say so. Here, we've ranted and raved and been deleted and banned and now it's all knitting needles and kittens. Facebook did the same thing at first - ignored what their users wanted and then ultimately they were forced to implement better privacy etc. They'd already lost people by then. EW is at risk from someone who comes along with a better way of connecting expat women. We want to be able to chat about stuff that matters and be able to exchange details via PM. I certainly don't want to go to a coffee morning just to meet a woman who has plants she wants to give away. Far easier to arrange and co-ordinate by PM. So there. The feather light trigger on banning for every small infraction is what really turned the masses away. Cannot imagine this is the same EW that has a four or five day old thread still up on the first page. FYI, the main page has many more threads than it used to so that is why older threads are appearing for longer. Yes it does - so we can see how many more have zero replies !! lol
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 19:08
Most of the women on here love a winge already....
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 17:52
That'll be the only entertainment you get...no-one has a sense of humour on here any more...
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 17:47
My point exactly. The moms who do everything to avoid it, use excuses, say "$#!% off" or deliberately lose requests are the ones with the attitude who make the job so unpleasant. Do it once yourself and you will understand how hard it is and hopefully appreciate the moms who do it in future. It does seem to vary from school to school though and at my childrens school there is not much to do apart from pass on a few messages via e-mail, do collection at Christmas and end of year, and organise a couple of social events. BTW I can't believe any parent would think a class mum is responsible for complaining about the progress of their child. My class mum once thanked me for being the only parent to always reply to her texts, even if it was just a thank you. It's a terrible job here, as described below - in the UK we never even had class mums !! The expectations of a certain type of mother coupled with the general attitude that everything can be done by someone else don't make for a happy time in the job... *note to self...I must stop with the tongue in cheek replies, it's not like it used to be on here...
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Latest post on 17 October 2014 - 01:55
One becomes a class mom if one has an interest in doing more for their children's education than dropping them off and picking them up again at the end of the day (unless your maid does that for you). Parents who can't be bothered because they are too busy doing something else (gym, coffee, shopping?) are unbelievable. Is it really too much effort to do a little extra? So you are best placed to answer the OP then - how did you become class mum ?
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 17:51
It's 'dry' from 6pm on 24th until 7pm 25th Not in my house it isn't...
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 17:50
Fortunately I've managed to avoid it so far so sorry, have no idea... Most of them volunteer I think... (or get press-ganged by the PTA !! lol) Lol..what's been your best excuse? Could use some help. I've never been asked but I imagine a polite "$#!% off" would suffice ? lol
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 17:24
Fortunately I've managed to avoid it so far so sorry, have no idea... Most of them volunteer I think... (or get press-ganged by the PTA !! lol)
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 15:19
I didn't know that she now has another home to go to - is this the same person who is holding an adoption day on Saturday at Posh Paws ? I thought it was a charity having trouble with funding, didn't realise it's an individual being moved from a residential villa because of complaints... They are a charity, but the shelter they have is in a residential villa. It's basically run by 3 women. ok thanks... how did they get a licence to run a charity in a residential villa ?
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 15:06
I didn't know that she now has another home to go to - is this the same person who is holding an adoption day on Saturday at Posh Paws ? I thought it was a charity having trouble with funding, didn't realise it's an individual being moved from a residential villa because of complaints...
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Latest post on 16 October 2014 - 14:21
It was 10 days ago and the cat was cleared away soon after - I don't know who by..I think most people would notify the owner if they found a cat hurt or lost and it had a number on its collar but loads of the cats I get through my garden don't have anything...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 21:26
And just think, now EW's gone global we can have a thread devoted to toilet habits around the world...what a voyage of discovery that will be :D
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 21:06
stunned at some of the comments here... Marroosh and Wickedangel,, i'm embarrassed for you...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 15:18
If a lot of the women on here had more going on in their own lives they wouldn't need to get so wrapped up in the details of the lives of others...offer advice and support as it's requested..that's all that's required... Or post an interesting thread of your own ... there's only so much I can do ;) LOL !! just worried the OP may be giving too much away...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 15:09
If a lot of the women on here had more going on in their own lives they wouldn't need to get so wrapped up in the details of the lives of others...offer advice and support as it's requested..that's all that's required...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 14:36
Cherpie, I hope you don't mind answering the following questions: What's your nationality? What are your childrens nationality? Why you are not in custody of your own passport? (it is a UAE law that NO ONE is allowed to hold the passport of another in this country - even if they are your maid - and you can go to the police and open a case against them if they do!!!) Has there been any documented abuse in your relationship? Has there been any documented cheating? Thanks I'm sorry but as a new poster I think Cherpie should be wary of answering your questions...why do you need to know all this ? EW is simply a forum for women to seek the support and advice of others without having to divulge any personal information...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 11:36
Seriously amazing suggestion, I never would have thought of myself! :D I think he has killed your spirit. And, even if it is in a holiday that you hadn't celebrated, if you can revive that, you can have a bit of spirit back. And he cannot take this away without contradicting his packs stance. They do not own this holiday. It is not theirs. It is a holiday of care, respect, love, and happiness - get in on it. yes but will he not just take heart from Cherpie finally giving in to his will ? I don't see how this is anything but conforming to his instructions...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 09:29
Cherpie, I feel very sorry for what just happened to you, and your ongoing situation. Leaving aside the religion component, your DH doesn't seem to respect you, his loyal and faithful wife and mother of his kids. My Muslim Arab DH would be appalled by your DH (and, it appears, his family??)'s blatant, self-promoting, bullying campaign against you. I hope your DH has strong faith in the Day of Judgement, because he surely won't be able to hide from the consequences of his awful bullying. Yes, well said, Apricot. This disrespect of his wife and the mother of his children is far from being Islamic. "Heaven is at the foot of mother". He is a bully. All this aside, sadly, many mixed marriages are not successful once back in the "home country" and living in the extended family environment where there is a lot of support for established family traditions/behaviours. If I were you I would not push the Christmas celebrations or any other christian holiday. This is not part of Islam and, as you well know, the children of any Muslim marriage belong to their father and to Islam. He, I am sure, would not be happy that his children were celebrating a Christian holiday - certainly, I know my husband would not be. I know that many OPs here will not agree with me, but I strongly suggest that you are "quiet" and "do not rock the family boat". Life will be impossible for you if you are pushing to raise your children as Christians. You will not win this battle nor the war. Divorce?? Unless it is instigated by him, your chances are very, very slim. I wouldn't even tell you what my husband has told me about my chances of ever getting a divorce - every OP on this forum would "thumb down" me forever after! Basically, it is not an option. You have two options: 1. Run (alone) back to your family; 2. make the best of your situation, focus on your lovely children and make your own life within the parameters of the marriage. Well that was helpful ... No-one is talking about celebrating Christmas as a "Christian" festival... it's just a bit of fun and really hard to ignore... Cherpie has done her share, honouring the Islamic occasions - he's just being an @rse about it... I know lots of Muslims who love Christmas and mixed marriages should be mixed in every sense...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 08:59
"expected to cost slightly more" well, there's a surprise !! lol
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 07:51
After seeing previous posts on here about Facebook groups I looked up a few and yes, definitely more active. Could be because less deletion. I think it's mainly because it is more direct - you are free to contact people... The one thing people want to do when they are new here is to get out and make friends..much easier on facebook or other forums that allow private messaging and meet-ups...
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 07:49
Hi all My name is Charlotte. I am moving to Dubai with my husband next month and I am looking for some help and advice with settling in. Can anyone give me some advice on hobbies in Dubai and gym classes etc. Also, can anyone tell me a bit more about the famous brunches? I am looking to make some new friends and would love to make some new contacts. Thanks Charlotte Hi Charlottte, welcome !! Check out the Time Out Dubai Brunch section - will probably have them all listed by price group..some are great for kids with separate play areas, some are more "grown up" (messy !!), some are refined, some are great for visitors, some give a good taste of local atmosphere and some are just fun...most people have their favourites and prices vary widely.. The EW coffee mornings are good to meet people, although the only one I went to was cliquey and everyone else seemed to already know each other as they go every week !! Try them all... Once you know where you will be living you can find Facebook groups for your community - best chance for making contacts and unlike on EW, you are free to contact people directly... Dubai has an amazing social scene and you will get to meet loads of other women all in the same boat or at least have been in the past... good luck.
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 07:39
They've been taking money from him ?? ewww....
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 07:38
Sorry I can't help specifically but personally I don't find grocery shopping as expensive as some people say...if you shop local and avoid 75% of Spinneys !!
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Latest post on 15 October 2014 - 07:14
I know I posted that after 10 but I meant from 8 o'clock time - not that late even if you have to be up before 6 , like I do !! Yes, FB is the new EW !! lol
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 19:57
Well then it looks like Cherpie and some like minded ladies need to meet up at an EW coffee morning, since it seems the only way....
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 19:52
HI All, Sometimes... just sometimes.... things can be deleted in error either by admin or users... think that's what happened in this case. Just FYI EW Admin Then dare I suggest, Admin need to be more careful.... [i'>Think[/i'> deleted by mistake ??? why do you not have a record of all deleted posts ? <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 14/10/2014</em>
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 17:15
"Please do not flush paper down the toilet, put it in the bin provided"? I think its disgusting and seriously wonder why in other parts of the world people are able to flush paper down the toilet and not have problems? Not referring to sanitary towels obviously. Yay or nay? I'm a flusher, sorry. A lot of Europe is the same, or at least Greece and Spain - they have a little bin next to the toilet, so actually, there are lots of places where the plumbing just isn't up to it...
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 17:13
I thought you were living in Cairo now....
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Latest post on 14 October 2014 - 17:04
Throw the key away
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Latest post on 13 October 2014 - 21:59
I don't think we can debate the subject honestly without going down the nationality route and that can never end well... Personally, I take exception to the assumption that Westerners are new to employing help...a crass thing to say, imo. Well, historically, westerners did employ full time help (until WW2). After that it became very expensive to do so, and the invention of white goods made them pretty much redundant. So the *current* generation of Europeans do not have experience of having 'staff', and grew up in much more egalitarian (if not classless) societies. This is why Western expats see helpers as a real luxury and, for the most part, wish to treat them as equals. Personally, I cannot for the life of me think of a single reason not do treat someone with respect. Really ? where did you get this idea from ?
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Latest post on 13 October 2014 - 13:13
For me, it's actually a class issue. Upper class people treat everyone that works for them with respect and lower class people don't. it's all the chavs fault init
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Latest post on 13 October 2014 - 10:29
You need a licence from the Department of Economic Development but i'm not sure it's legal for expats to sell anything from home...
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Latest post on 13 October 2014 - 09:34
Obviously his maid hasn't explained where his water tanks are....
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Latest post on 13 October 2014 - 09:27
apparently they can ....