Doubting Thomas | ExpatWoman.com
 

Doubting Thomas

Doubting Thomas
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Latest post on 16 August 2014 - 19:00
it's quite simple, due to the difference in cultural background and the attitude. the cast system in indian society divided people on these who can rule and others who will be ruled (by one's birth). that is why all servants treated the way they "deserve". members of western society born with equal possibilities - from here is different attitude and the way they treat house help. I agree this is generalisation, but it works in majority of cases here. edited by irish259 on 13/08/2014 If by Western society you mean the Americans, you are right. However the above statement can also be easily applied to English westerners, the entire population is very keenly tuned into divisions of class (you only have to look at the exclusivity the Royal family enjoy with their self conferred titles and the titles they bestow on others who are somehow deemed more high class than those without; and the extremely tight elite circles they move in), they even notice things like accents, places one lives and the connotations it has. Class based mindsets to the core, quite like the Indian population in this aspect, although the latter slots people into a particular class based on different criteria. I think you have been watching too much Downton Abbey. LOL !! Is this how foreigners still perceive our Royals ??
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Latest post on 16 August 2014 - 18:10
Hi Kiwispiers. I cannot explain my statement. It was only an assumption. Something about the picture of her and her daughters make me think that she is a breast feeder. [b'> have just found herI Facebook page and she writes about this story.[/b'> She basically said that it was not her who went to the media and she only agreed to be interviewed to encourage restaurants to have changing facilities and to let people know about the poor customer service. She also wrote that the media has not presented her side of the story... edited by AnonDubai on 16/08/2014 Stalker !! lol
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Latest post on 16 August 2014 - 18:05
My son worked part time for his last couple of years in Dubai..the owner of a pizza chain takes on sixth formers every Spring, and some get lucky and stay on... All legal and a fab experience !!
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Latest post on 14 August 2014 - 20:52
Maybe cos it's a bit vague ? Didn't see the original post but it might help if you could say what sort of brunch you're looking for, your approximate budget and whether it's for the family or just adults..there are literally hundreds to choose from...
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Latest post on 14 August 2014 - 19:30
what's BBL? Be Back Later ?? lol
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Latest post on 14 August 2014 - 04:07
Kiwi - it was me who made the trolley comment - LT apologised for her internet playing up and muddling her quotes... sorry but I think the sight of kids' shoes, that they've been walking god knows where in, and bums in something that I am going to place my food in is gross, and unnecessary anyway... must just be me then ...
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Latest post on 14 August 2014 - 00:33
We don't have kids yet Mannikat unfortunately and it's around a 600 mile round trip. My bro has offered to come to my mums and she has offered to come to London so we can maximise our time together and cut out some travelling. We'll work it out ourselves somehow! Then we'll go to see PIL separately. Would be great if we could all congregate together in London as we're close with my bro's in laws who live in London and will also want to see us but that won't happen ha ha! Guess my real issue is PIL being different sorts of folks who like to keep to themselves instead of getting involved in the rabble of my side of the family! Ah well, different strokes and all that. They are a tiny family - 16 people in total and I on the other hand have literally hundreds of relatives! Just to show the other side - my parents won't even invite my Aunt to share one of our visits because they want us all to themselves !! Even though she has asked more than once if she can see us... We stay in our own home for the summer and visit my parents for the day a few times (it's quite a journey !!) and the other parents visit us because they still can, whereas the others can't. We don't have any other family and obviously all our friends live nearby...I'm sorry to have to agree with Izzy and WG - it was your choice to move away so it's not going to kill you to put yourselves out to make sure everyone gets treated equally and fairly... My parents never saw my inlaws after our wedding - no particular reason but they didn't have much in common (apart from us !! lol) - in other circumstances they would never have been friends and we never expected them to be... Perhaps you could reread your posts as if you were reading them to your parents and inlaws and imagine how they would feel.. I'm sorry I have no practical advice - 8 days is very short to keep everyone happy.
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Latest post on 12 August 2014 - 16:36
If only he could have loved himself as much as everyone else loved him...so, so sad...
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Latest post on 12 August 2014 - 16:30
I know this sounds stereotypical and I could be wrong, but this woman looks like a breastfeeder... ROFL !!! How on earth can you say that ?? what exactly does a breastfeeder look like ? It's revolting to change a baby (however it's fed - baby poo is baby poo and smells like nothing else on earth...) while people around you are trying to eat... I never did it..can't imagine why anyone would think it's remotely acceptable... As for feeding babies in public toilets...i'd rather do it out in the street...bleurghhh... Slightly off topic but I also find babies or toddlers sitting in trolleys revolting...I have to put my groceries in there after their grubby shoes or whatever have been there... If they're too big to fit in the trolley seat then their trolley riding days should be over...sorry.
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Latest post on 12 August 2014 - 03:30
Shocked and saddened so much by this news....tragic http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-28749702
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Latest post on 12 August 2014 - 00:21
The one day thing doesn't apply to children any more but they can get it in a week I think... Applied for my son's renewal in the UK on 24th July and it came last Thursday so just over 2 weeks...
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 18:19
It's been raining solidly for days.......... in the UK !! lol Only in certain areas. Had a few sharp showers in my neck of the woods in the last day or so! Good to have some rain for the crops. We're in central Scotland and have avoided the worst of it. :) I knew someone would argue....
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 17:38
and I got 10 !! ROFL !! There really are some childish or bored people on here.... Maybe Izzy should change her name to Ida (as in, Ida Down :D)
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 17:26
welcome back Purple !! Sadly fings ain't wot they used ta be... As I recall, in previous years this used to be EW's busiest time, especially late at night in the UK as people were researching their move..Doesn't seem to have happened this year so much though to be fair to EW it's not just them that's suffering...the many fun groups on facebook are now the new forum... And the thumbs are mostly just used by bored people scoring points or targeting posters they don't like !! lol
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 17:19
It's been raining solidly for days.......... in the UK !! lol
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 01:11
I see the mischeivous thumbers are still here though...Inexplicably the OP has 11 downs
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Latest post on 11 August 2014 - 01:08
The forum rules say that Admin won't discuss the deletion of threads and further threads to ask why something was deleted aren't allowed either !! lol
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Latest post on 10 August 2014 - 14:44
Is this the same boss that leaves their autistic 10 year old in front of the telly all day because they're too busy to find a teacher for him ? Maybe it's time you started looking for another job..sorry. .
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Latest post on 10 August 2014 - 01:00
If you like bright colours it looks quite cool...nowt wrong with being into stationery, quite partial to it myself though sorry, this particular brand doesn't do much for me..can spend hours in Paper Chase though :D
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Latest post on 10 August 2014 - 00:02
It's a brand of stationery
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Latest post on 09 August 2014 - 23:59
"Google is your friend" has to be the most annoying phrase ever uttered on here !! lol
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Latest post on 09 August 2014 - 23:39
lol..I've not had a drop WG but I have no idea what Tinc is !! :D
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Latest post on 09 August 2014 - 23:35
My new employer is a research and development facility built by the "inventor" and is really a very interesting job. I work there as the Exec secretary and the pay is pretty good. We moved into the office two months ago and were told that they would employ a part time cleaner as they are unable to offer accommodation to a cleaner. On the books they have a cleaner who is working in their home. Our office has not been cleaned in the two months we have been there. It gets so mucky that I end up cleaning. I have asked several times for the cleaner to come in and clean. She has come in twice to clean the washrooms only (after getting irritated looks). Now last week my boss called a meeting and said we have to clean our own facility with a pointed look towards me. The others don't even bother washing their own dishes!!!! He says as [b'>we are all Europeans and it is normal.[/b'> (Though he is very tough to implement the UAE laws). what do I do....I was not hired as a cleaner and I don't want to fall into a pattern......where do I stand? what do I do? Is it just me or is that a really weird thing to say ? Presumably he's not European himself... Flaming cheek of it - I agree with everyone else !! eta - just out of curiosity, what is the male/female ratio ? <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 09/08/2014</em>
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Latest post on 08 August 2014 - 16:23
Thank you Oopsie Daisy, just sharing my own experience... :D
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Latest post on 08 August 2014 - 04:06
The biggest mistake you can make is a bit strong and none of us can possibly say that about people we don't know !! I don't know the OP but can give my experience as that's all I know... We were in a similar position..husband sent to Dubai supposedly just for a few months but as they dragged on it turned out to be the longest year of our lives..staying in the UK with 2 kids aged 13 and 5 wasn't easy for any of us and they both missed their dad terribly..whatever decision we were going to make HAD to be one to get us all back together again... about 5 months after he'd left it looked like he'd be staying much longer so we had to decide whether or not to join him...we visited Dubai and all fell in love with it ..decision made !! Eldest got into JESS and it has been the making of him.. his state secondary school at home was the pits and we all hated it..at JESS he did the IB and did very well, and now he's back home ready to start uni in September..more than we'd have dared hope for 5 years ago !! Youngest has settled in a lovely school and we've had no concerns about him at all..Everyone who knows us says the move has been the making of us..we kept our house and stay there every summer..I can honestly say we've never regretted it..am a bit surprised that so many replies on this thread have been so adamantly against coming here...certainly watching the UK from afar I don't have any regrets about leaving it !! lol But if we have to leave tomorrow then of course we will, and resume our UK life as if we never left...will miss our Dubai life enormously though i'm sure... oh and to say you can't trust married men alone here is absolute nonsense - in my opinion the type of men who cheat will do it anywhere, Dubai is no different...plenty of decent men stay here on their own without wandering... women who say different do so because they never had a decent man !! lol
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 23:16
Thank you all, ladies, I will Be straightforward, the proposal is for about 70k so, correct me if I am wrong, you all agree that this amount is quite good, not to live as rich but enough to cover the monthly expenses. Not a luxury life but a fair, adequate life. A second job would certainly improve things. Is this the correct perspective I got from your replies? wow !! what are you waiting for ?? lol
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 22:02
Depends really, are you intending on staying in five star hotels or backpacking? Sorry but the only expensive part of Thailand, is getting to Thailand. Once you are there you can have a very cheap holiday indeed. If you so choose. Food and accommodation is far far cheaper than Western Europe. edited by RuthM on 06/08/2014 LOL !! Backpacking ? I thought we were talking about a holiday not an endurance test and with children ??? lol But most people I know still couldn't afford it...
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 17:53
It really depends where in Hampshire you want to live. Apart from petrol and train fares (which presumably you would not need) the biggest cost of living in UK is housing. Utilities are not cheap but also not hugely expensive (if you are paying for aircon/water in Dubai as an extra you will probably find heating in the UK cheaper). I have a friend whose wife has just had a baby. They have just bought a four bedroom house in Liphook, Hampshire. I am not 100% sure of his earnings but I would suspect around 40k. He goes on relatively cheap holidays (Thailand etc.), and is not a big spender (no designer clothes etc.). But lives fairly well, they eat home cooked meals, and an occasional pub lunch, they have two cars (one is a company car) and he has a camper van for his camping holidays to Wales. :-) A 40k salary would leave you with take home of around £2500 a month. This is a useful calculator: http://www.listentotaxman.com/ we pay for water (and sewerage) in the UK too..and gas. electricity, community charge, prescriptions, road tax, income tax, National Insurance and in some areas residents' parking... Sorry Ruth but Thailand is not a cheap holiday...not many of our friends venture further than Europe for their hols - that's if they an afford to go away at all...(now trying to think of someone I know who's been abroad this year and can only think of two !! lol). I did wonder how Thailand was a cheap holiday. We could never have afforded to go there when DH and I were still in the UK and we were both on fairly decent salaries with no kids. For us it was Easyjet to Europe, or a drive to the Lakes :) edited by Geordie expat on 06/08/2014 Exactly !! It's a dream holiday here - the sort most people only get to have if they win the lottery !! lol
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 17:51
I converted 120,000 AED into GBP and it works out at approx 19k There is no way I would pay that for a similar house in the UK I think if you were to look for a like for like it would be quite difficult - houses round here generally only have the one bathroom or maybe the master bedroom would be ensuite as well, commonly only two rooms downstairs plus kitchen...overall space is much less here. If houses the same as our Dubai villa existed here they would probably rent for a similar amount..Although nobody in the UK would expect you to pay a year's rent in advance !! lol
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 17:41
It really depends where in Hampshire you want to live. Apart from petrol and train fares (which presumably you would not need) the biggest cost of living in UK is housing. Utilities are not cheap but also not hugely expensive (if you are paying for aircon/water in Dubai as an extra you will probably find heating in the UK cheaper). I have a friend whose wife has just had a baby. They have just bought a four bedroom house in Liphook, Hampshire. I am not 100% sure of his earnings but I would suspect around 40k. He goes on relatively cheap holidays (Thailand etc.), and is not a big spender (no designer clothes etc.). But lives fairly well, they eat home cooked meals, and an occasional pub lunch, they have two cars (one is a company car) and he has a camper van for his camping holidays to Wales. :-) A 40k salary would leave you with take home of around £2500 a month. This is a useful calculator: http://www.listentotaxman.com/ we pay for water (and sewerage) in the UK too..and gas. electricity, community charge, prescriptions, road tax, income tax, National Insurance and in some areas residents' parking... Sorry Ruth but Thailand is not a cheap holiday...not many of our friends venture further than Europe for their hols - that's if they an afford to go away at all...(now trying to think of someone I know who's been abroad this year and can only think of two !! lol).
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 17:30
You only get free health care if you've been paying tax and National Insurance but at least the schools are free..Hampshire is lovely, we're next door to it, but property is expensive..rent or buy you won't get much change from 700 or 800 a month for a modest family home. Utility bills, tax, community charge and insurance on top. Plus if you run a car you pay road fax and fuel is 3 times the price of Dubai. I've also found grocery shopping quite expensive here this summer ...many items are cheaper in Dubai !! (And you have to pack your own bags !! Lol ). Compared to rents in Dubai for "modest family homes" I would hardly call 700 to 800 pounds sterling pcm expensive. What is the going rate for a Springs house these days? No idea - difficult to compare...I don't know Springs but houses similar to our 3 bed villa in the Ranches are in our local paper (not Hampshire but next door) for 8 or 900 - semis or terraced with only one bathroom and no maid's room...possibly a study but rooms in addition to lounge and dining room would be extra...though the gardens are nicer :D
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 14:41
Hi, i have lost my hairdresser's phone number and need to contact her ASAP, her name is Hazel and she comes to my house, she is British, Does anyone get their hair done by her and have her number? thanks! Not sure she'd want her details posted on a public forum...if you know what I mean ;) Eta..you could try facebook ...the group for women with children of that nationality.... <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 06/08/2014</em>
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 13:56
If your husband has been offered anything upwards of GBP [b'>40,000[/b'> a year he will be considered in a high earning bracket. It is possible to live comfortably on that but of course it does largely depend on the lifestyle you want to lead. Depending on where you shop a basket of good in a supermarket isn't too dissimilar to here, but a night out with alcohol is likely to be considerably cheaper. Transport and utilities are very expensive including the cost of petrol and car insurance. But like the others have said, a good standard of education for your children will be free. Ideally your household income will be over 50k to be able to enjoy more treats such as holidays etc but remember the average salary in UK is only GBP26,500. Hence in many cases both parents in a family go to work. Has it gone down ? Higher tax bracket used to be 50 k.
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 13:43
You only get free health care if you've been paying tax and National Insurance but at least the schools are free..Hampshire is lovely, we're next door to it, but property is expensive..rent or buy you won't get much change from 700 or 800 a month for a modest family home. Utility bills, tax, community charge and insurance on top. Plus if you run a car you pay road fax and fuel is 3 times the price of Dubai. I've also found grocery shopping quite expensive here this summer ...many items are cheaper in Dubai !! (And you have to pack your own bags !! Lol ). And pump your own petrol LOL Oh yes..the horror !! I forgot to mention the cost of dental care and prescriptions..loads of things that are available over the counter in Dubai aren't here.
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Latest post on 06 August 2014 - 13:28
You only get free health care if you've been paying tax and National Insurance but at least the schools are free..Hampshire is lovely, we're next door to it, but property is expensive..rent or buy you won't get much change from 700 or 800 a month for a modest family home. Utility bills, tax, community charge and insurance on top. Plus if you run a car you pay road fax and fuel is 3 times the price of Dubai. I've also found grocery shopping quite expensive here this summer ...many items are cheaper in Dubai !! (And you have to pack your own bags !! Lol ).
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Latest post on 05 August 2014 - 23:04
Why do people admit to changing their names ?...so irritating !! lol
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Latest post on 05 August 2014 - 22:27
Without opening the ink, I can say that of course. I would say most people know to keep their opinions to themselves or to speak about another's business. This is why the thumbs down button has been so used on this forum, because people use it as their one avenue to disagree without having to be accountable or identified. If you read the article you'll see it's more concerned with rumour mongering that causes public unrest such as misinformation about contagious diseases or financial/property matters etc rather than naming a rubbish dry cleaner or whatever. . Which is a shame because I have had someone spreading lies about me on facebook.. I think we all need to be careful what we post online and be aware that not everyone is as they seem... As for the thumbs, I don't agree they are used because people can be anonymous - none of us here can be identified unless we want to be..I think it's just laziness..easier to click a thumb than bother to log in and type a reply..They are also obviously being used by people with axes to grind or kids making mischief !! Lol. It really hurts doesnt it. I had someone on here , [b'>who presumably thought I wouldnt see it[/b'>, write a whole heap of (embellished) stuff about me. Of course I recognised myself and was sorry I had evidently freaked her out by attempting to make friends but some of it was untrue and exaggerated. [b'>Have since changed my username [/b'>;) With regards to UAE probably best to not even be on twitter just in case! ooo intrigue !! lol..but if you say she didn't think you would see it why would you need to change your name ?
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Latest post on 05 August 2014 - 02:38
You won't regret it as she is just unique. Stress free, always helping, very very active, excellent cook, she knows when to give you some space, not intrusive, no gossiping, trustworthy, and the list goes on. You don't need to explain much as she has lots of common sense. She always adapt to her new family and [b'>keeps in touch with all the previous ones[/b'>. She just wants to be able to pray god on Friday and study the bible every Wednesday :-) Who can refuse her this? ALL ?? How many has she had ? lol
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 22:48
Hi, Im 36 and hired a 50 yr old maid for our housekeeping and food prep at home. Most definately the benefit of her being older is that I dont need to deal with any maturity issues. Her energy is [b'>quite good for her age, [/b'>but Im not at home to monitor her, and we have an apartment, not a large villa. The only age related issues that I would highlight is that her hearing is not so good at times which I did not notice in the interview. But, [b'>bearing her age in mind[/b'>, Ive provided her with insurance to cover any ailments that she may have. However, Im pregnant with my first and will have to find a replacement once LO comes along as she is not a nanny, and has no children of her own. :-/ <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 04/08/2014</em>
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 22:41
I know they aren't at all but there a cheap play areas around that don't break the bank, trust me I know I'm on a very low strict budget. But sitting at home and being lonely and hating it here will cause bigger problems. 150 dirhams a week to get 2 - 3 hours out for sanity is worth it and once you'veafe a good friend they won't care about the state of your home as they've become friends with you not your money, home or car. 150 for one session ??? Yes, if you have to pay for 3 kids. Then add a snack or milkshake/coffee. And that is at one of the cheaper play areas! blimey !!
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 15:11
Our school finishes at 2.10 so not exactly "late in the afternoon" and mine plays outside all the time - in the garden, on his bike and at the park or pool... Safa school has a fantastic community feel and there will be a new one opening this year which is still taking applications...
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 14:32
Is there a difference between Domestic Workers and Domestic [i'>Servants[/i'> ?? Maybe "workers" just covers gardeners and drivers etc...
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 13:59
http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/visa/how-much-uae-visa-will-cost-after-increase-1.1365749?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_campaign=Blog
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 13:59
It says domestic workers. .
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 12:45
Without opening the ink, I can say that of course. I would say most people know to keep their opinions to themselves or to speak about another's business. This is why the thumbs down button has been so used on this forum, because people use it as their one avenue to disagree without having to be accountable or identified. If you read the article you'll see it's more concerned with rumour mongering that causes public unrest such as misinformation about contagious diseases or financial/property matters etc rather than naming a rubbish dry cleaner or whatever. . Which is a shame because I have had someone spreading lies about me on facebook.. I think we all need to be careful what we post online and be aware that not everyone is as they seem... As for the thumbs, I don't agree they are used because people can be anonymous - none of us here can be identified unless we want to be..I think it's just laziness..easier to click a thumb than bother to log in and type a reply..They are also obviously being used by people with axes to grind or kids making mischief !! Lol.
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 12:13
Ladies, Just wanted to point this out, in case you're feeling anxious about learning to settle in a new country - forums like this are a great tool and source of support, but while you wait for members to join the new forum, don't forget that information is much more accessible outside of Dubai, especially in North America! Pretty much any information you could need is readily available online. Doctor recommendations can be found on specialized sites with thousands of honest reviews (where you can search based on specialty, insurance, patient ratings, location, etc); product reviews are easily accessible; any item you need to purchase, can be found via online store/product locators (just enter zip or city) or simply ordered directly; driving directions are all clear and easy with GPS (and street names!); gov’t processes are clearly outlined and paperwork can be found (and often completed & submitted) online.. these are just few examples, but pretty much all you need, in terms of information, is already there and available! Yes, but nothing beats being able to talk to 'real' (mostly !! lol) people who can give personal recommendations...that's what forums do best...
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 02:20
Oh dear !! I was 52 this year and my youngest is 10... seems I can look after my own family and villa perfectly well but may be too old to do it for anyone else !! lol :D
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Latest post on 03 August 2014 - 23:47
Red, sorry you're struggling - if you search facebook for Mirdif women/mums etc you'll find some groups to join and hopefully meet other mums or women to chat to... good luck :)
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Latest post on 03 August 2014 - 22:55
Have a look at Time Out or What's On Dubai facebook pages...
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Latest post on 03 August 2014 - 22:32
I know they aren't at all but there a cheap play areas around that don't break the bank, trust me I know I'm on a very low strict budget. But sitting at home and being lonely and hating it here will cause bigger problems. 150 dirhams a week to get 2 - 3 hours out for sanity is worth it and once you'veafe a good friend they won't care about the state of your home as they've become friends with you not your money, home or car. 150 for one session ???
 
 
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