Doubting Thomas | ExpatWoman.com
 

Doubting Thomas

2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 January 2014 - 16:28
I am finding it very hard to believe the venom from some posters here. This is a terrible situation, but are you all seriously advocating a course of action which will ultimately damage an [b'>unborn innocent child[/b'>? The OP has behaved beautifully all the way through a ghastly crisis, I'm sure she will want, for her own child's sake to maintain the high moral ground. Just because two other people have put their selfish desires first it doesn't mean she has to indulge in revenge. To Celesti, my deepest sympathy and admiration for the calm and adult manner in which you have attempted to save your marriage, all the very best for the future to you and your little one in a new and better life. Sorry, but I'll say it again. Is the OP quite sure this woman is pregnant, or is it just an easy way for him to get out of the marriage? If she's planning to "lose" the baby once she has a ring on her finger maybe the OP could at least ensure that that's not going to be possible any time soon.... I think I would... And then when he wakes up from this midlife crisis or whatever it is he's having, he's going to wishing he'd never met her !!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 January 2014 - 15:48
I certainly didn't think there would be much preparation required! In any case, we stopped BC once we got married. He has mentioned that he doesn't want to be an "old" father, which I can understand but it's not like he's reaching for his pension book, you know? He is fit and active (works in the fitness industry) and people are generally surprised to find out he's in his 40s. I tried to broach things again last night, but he cut me off straight away, with a "not this again". He hasn't told me what is happening with his son, so I think he's maybe just got a lot on his mind at the moment. Perhaps I should leave him a couple of weeks - I know it's not ideal but even in other situations he's the type of guy that doesn't do well being nagged at! I don't understand why you have stopped birth control yet not sure your husband is ready... he must have agreed to the stopping - is that not an indication that he is wanting you to start a family ?
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 January 2014 - 15:45
Eleanorah, I'm not going to quote you because I don't think what you said should be repeated. Since you are bringing up old posts, I remember one night on here you asking for help and receiving it. Why then do you feel the need to so often give others a kicking? and be quick to complain about others' posting unkindly....
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 January 2014 - 15:35
This is truly a worst case scenario and I feel for you and your baby...best thing is to leave Dubai and this a hole far behind and focus on making a better life for you both. Can I just say though, that if it's true and she really is pregnant, and by him, then when you get home you should get yourself checked out as he's obviously been doing the business without protection, if you know what I mean..not wanting to add to your burden but it's something you need to think about...sorry.
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 08 January 2014 - 13:07
My husband's still on the same allowance he got when he moved here 4 years ago !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 06 January 2014 - 13:03
Has the school changed in any way since it was bought over by new owners? Yes, it's lost that "village school" feel it used to have, obviously because it is so much bigger, but there are better facilities now and more sporting opportunities.. Most of the staff are the same and the new ones seem to have fitted in really well..We have no real complaints.. ETA although there has been no fee increase for a long time there is a 2 step fee increase for next September and the one after... <em>edited by Doubting Thomas on 06/01/2014</em>
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 22:16
hmmm...that's a tough one Di... can I guess ?? lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:46
Who is SugarRush1988? a 25 year old Candy Crush fan ?? lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:20
yes, both our schools will be off..husband waiting to hear from employer but they usually leave it til after work the night before !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:11
I did when I returned to work and left my 4 month old with a new maid. It's quite an eye opener!!! And you still left her with the baby ??
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:10
Great, thanks for both your replies. I havent found any Smurf cake decorations as of yet. And to make them myself - no chance! ;) lol - packs of blue and white playdoh and you're away !! How hard can it be ? :D
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:08
http://www.toysandlearning.co.uk/schleich-smurfs.php Al Barsh co-op have some Smurf toys and novelties - didn't notice any figures though..can't remember...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 21:00
Hi all! Im making a cake for my son's birthday and I am looking for a little Smurf figurine to place on top. Has anyone seen any anywhere? Any help is much appreciated! Thank you :) There is a Smurf range as part of the Schliech (sp) toy animal figures. They're in most toy shops but not cheap - proper cake decorations would probably be cheaper..
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 19:41
Basic 1200? edited by Eleanorah on 05/01/2014 yes basic 1200 and everything else we provide is an add-on to that... the only thing she ever pays for is mobile to mobile calls... she basically uses our landline for all local landline calls to her sister/friends... and skypes with her family back home using our laptop/account a couple of times a month... when we hired her, as per the nepali government, the basic pay was only 800... but we paid her 1000 the first year, then increased it to 1100 and now in her third year her salary is 1200... we plan to increase it again by 100 next year... And how many hours does she work per week? It absolutely amazes me that some ladies abide by the 'ruling'. Sorry - I am totally lost for words. Yes, agency maids work for next to nothing but they agree to do so by unscrupulous agencies - but private employers? No - its a joke. Oh and isn't she lucky to a 300 DHs increase in THREE years! I must come and work for you! edited by Eleanorah on 05/01/2014 My husband hasn't had a wage increase in FOUR years...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 13:21
Ladies you all come across as young in your postings; wise but not jaded! I'm in the middle age group, I think. Some people do sound "old" and even slightly bitter, hard. No offence to Grumpy but what age is she? Her posts are often as her name suggests. edited by A Rancher on 05/01/2014 If you were surrounded by a goody two shoes day in and day out, and one day she was killed by a Glen Close look alike who'd come along and robbed you out of a feel good factor - you'd be grumpy as well. edited by DesertRose1958 on 05/01/2014 ??? Oh do keep up Dopey Grumpy as in dwarf and snow white and the wicked stepmother. with best wishes sneezy edited by DesertRose1958 on 05/01/2014 I think you've been overdosing on cold meds !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 13:12
Ladies you all come across as young in your postings; wise but not jaded! I'm in the middle age group, I think. Some people do sound "old" and even slightly bitter, hard. No offence to Grumpy but what age is she? Her posts are often as her name suggests. edited by A Rancher on 05/01/2014 If you were surrounded by a goody two shoes day in and day out, and one day she was killed by a Glen Close look alike who'd come along and robbed you out of a feel good factor - you'd be grumpy as well. edited by DesertRose1958 on 05/01/2014 ???
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 11:20
@doubting thomas lol I meant for the school in the longer term it could be a good thing or a bad thing. you never know. From her side if she was very happy and incredibly well paid she probably wouldn't be leaving. yes, I know what you meant
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 10:37
Very happy with Safa. Not sure why the head is leaving, could be a good or bad thing ! Just ask her - she'll happily tell you (or at least the "official" version - lol)
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 10:14
New head? Is Mrs. Knight leaving? yes
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 08:41
We've been at Safa for 4 years and have no complaints. Have to disagree with Madge slightly - we're finding that as the school has expanded recently it is losing the "village school" feel we used to have and are hoping that the new head doesn't take it even further away... Still can't fault the staff and their attitudes to the children though..
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 05 January 2014 - 08:33
Lolacat is right - why would you even try to diagnose this yourself ? Go to your GP and they will advise the best course of action... good luck :)
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 January 2014 - 14:55
Twelfth Night (6th January)
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 January 2014 - 13:56
We haven't been since it re-opened and before it was a lot of walking - I think they have lots of new stuff added so plenty to see i'm sure..just make sure you choose the free car park !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 January 2014 - 13:34
So your real name doesn't show you need to go to the settings panel and signout of Facebook. But then your facebook friends don't know it's you !!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 04 January 2014 - 13:25
My friend went and posted on facebook that she loved it and has booked tickets to go again with her kids... obviously can't please all of the people etc.... :D
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2014 - 00:38
Opening a rather large Pandora's box but after years here, hearing and experiencing the bad attitude and treatment by maids/nannies there needs to be something more tangible done to create more governance for the sake of both employer and employee. I am keen to spearhead an online petition with the hope to raise this at Government level to make changes. As a first step - without this flying off in to a tattler-tale of what one maid did etc without a constructive solution - what would be the areas whereby in an ideal world we could help collectively pressure change. 1. Petition to allow part time maids to be legal 2. Create greater laws in to non performance and proof of non performance 3. Create additional systems to stop the loophole of runaways, thieves etc 4. Is there another form of law/contract matter/solution that could be introduced? Interested in tangible solution-led input to assist and help curb the issues related to household staff hire. Also interested to know from people who have experienced household staff/maid/nanny live in/live out in other countries and how/if it differs and if so what can we gain or help highlight at Government level. Needless to say that for every bad maid story there is a bad madam story however in all my years it seems to have reached the height of madness. look fwd to (good constructive non rant) replies please
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2014 - 00:10
such a shame this has such fallout on Sandance and that so many people had such a time-wasting, sad and even scary experience amid the traffic/bus issues. I've been involved in Royal visits etc and taskforces are set with multi party agreements (police, security,Govt reps, Govt agencies etc etc) strategies and clearly defined and adhered to rollouts...this was all a classic case of the Dubai left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing; last minute decisions being made and not well communicated/actioned and no clear strategies to combat all potential issues. Yes Dubai has grown from a village to a big city before our eyes (but not without its issues neatly hidden away from international eyes for many years. Just deal with high-level Government here and then tell me how organised they are in strategic thinking and clear lines of communication? Sadly not. Lived here decades so entitled to an opinion perhaps moreso than someone who arrived 6 months back). Expo2020 - eyes rolling at what might come of that but here's hoping they live and learn. How are you more entitled to an opinion ? lol Expo will be fab :D
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 03 January 2014 - 00:07
how do you prove non-performance and would there be an equal non-performance test for the employer ?
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 January 2014 - 17:49
Can I just ask on top of all this. If Dubai is building all they plan to for Expo and it's not going to impact on the main downtown areas. How are they going to cope with all the extra traffic this will bring? Has anyone heard if the Metro line will be extended to cover some of this? The original metro plans had a purple line coming out to Arabian Ranches !! No idea if it ever will though...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 January 2014 - 16:12
I don't think Dubai are bad at organising, I think they are bad at road planning. One road in and out of the Palm was always going to be a problem. Most major cities have great public transport, busses,trams, trains underground and over ground. Dubai does not have enough public transport therefor everyone drives. Roads and congestion are going to be a huge problem in years to come if something is not done about it. I daresay the new tram line will alleviate much of it...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 02 January 2014 - 01:13
As I said in my earlier post - we had passes and our car was stuck in the traffic - the worst of it started just about outside the Westin.. our only entertainment was watching the men dashing off the bus behind us, jumping over the barriers and peeing on the construction areas !! not to mention one clearly drunk man walking along vomiting everywhere... lovely... Then we got stuck behind an empty bus for ages before we realised he was stopped deliberately having had a contact with the cement mixer lorry in front (yes really !!) which had smashed his upstairs window !! As we drove past him we tried to tell him to at least put his hazards on but he was too engrossed in texting on his phone... Eventually we realised if we were to have a chance of getting onto the Palm before 10.30 we would have to start walking so we bailed and let the teen take the car... Have to say I've had enough of all the whinging...seems to me the problem was the huge number of people who either didn't know they needed passes to get onto the Palm or who were trying their luck anyway...the road block set up was woefully over-stretched to argue with each passless person and then turn them back and queues built up... Ruth may seem well informed but that is simply because of the tone she adopts, in actual fact there was a HUGE police presence and I don't doubt they did their best.. and no, we knew what to expect and we know where we live so we won't be wanting anything thank you - we were just blown away by the fireworks and continue to be enormously proud of this city !! And this thread is now beyond silly!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 01 January 2014 - 15:31
It certainly hasn't been good for the Sandance brand. I wonder if they will avoid NYE events in future? Personally I think it's time Sandance looked for another venue. The Palm is just too much of a nightmare each time. Or move it from New Year's Eve...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 01 January 2014 - 15:29
Did Dubai get into the Guinness Book Records then? I was waiting for Dubai One to announce it last night but never heard anything. We watched the fireworks from the window and it all stopped at around 6 mins past 12 and I thought that was it, so I went to make something to eat and then the Palm started at around 20 past 12 when I was in the kitchen. Not sure if it was meant to be timed as such, but the palm fireworks were SPECTACULAR, best display I have ever seen. yes, it got announced, together with a photo of the Certificate around 2 ish I think.. (memory a tad hazy !! lol)
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 01 January 2014 - 04:56
We had passes for the car and ourselves, sat in traffic for almost 3 hours then at 10 o'clock decided to bail out and let the teen take the car home - we walked the rest of the way and got on the Palm just after 10.30 - arrived at friend's party around 11... buses for Sandance were still trying to get through and an ambulance with siren on took forever to get through...from the balcony we watched the road nose to tail for ages then suddenly it all stopped so I guess access was at some point denied. Don't matter - we had our first new year's eve out for 18 years, the fireworks were stunning and our friends were amazing !! Got home at 3.15 ... no complaints :D Happy New Year !!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 30 December 2013 - 17:20
We got passes for our friends, but now our friends have dropped out coz no one wants to head out to our place at 8:00pm :-( sorry to hear that BD, do you mean 8 is too early ?? I believe that access is being cut off to people attending private parties - I think we have to be at our friends' by 6..not sure but it was all in the letter to Residents.. I stand corrected - just heard from our friend - access is closing at 9, 10 for taxis...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 30 December 2013 - 16:10
We got passes for our friends, but now our friends have dropped out coz no one wants to head out to our place at 8:00pm :-( sorry to hear that BD, do you mean 8 is too early ?? I believe that access is being cut off to people attending private parties - I think we have to be at our friends' by 6..not sure but it was all in the letter to Residents..
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 December 2013 - 22:59
Drink lots of water and get plenty of sleep. Your menu looks normal to me except for maybe more fruit and veg..
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 December 2013 - 22:51
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_development_projects_in_Dubai http://www.emirates247.com/expo-2020-watch-out-for-these-mega-developments-in-dubai-2013-12-03-1.529975
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 29 December 2013 - 01:15
6min display according to news reports. LOL! Last year they lasted about half an hour without breaking records...I wonder how they manage in 6 min... The record is for the largest display, rather than the longest and it's intended to be a choreographed, simultaneous show on the Palm Jumeirah and the World... according to the information sent to Palm residents..
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 28 December 2013 - 16:15
Does anyone actually know at what time these record fireworks will start? my guess would be Midnight !! LOL !!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 17:51
If all the cleaning is done by 11am why do you need a maid? It sounds like how much she eats is a big issue for you so maybe just a daily maid would be better than a live in. No seriously I have no issues with how much she eats if she is hungry I don't mind her having food but she will not cook her food she wants me to cook for her I was already giving her the same food my family eats she wants a different cuisine and I have to cook that for her and when I interviewed her she said I know only filipina cooking I will learn your cooking...now she says she does not know how to cook her own food her mom and sister cooks for her her Arab mam in Saudi cooked all her food...first few days the food I gave her she was throwing in garbage saying I am giving her too much and she can't eat...I told her you take what you want don't waste food...my toddler is very fussy eater so she normally doesn't eat on time so I keep her food in the fridge,after giving the maid freedom to eat what she wants she started taking the food I keep for my daughter from the fridge without asking me and wen I go to get food for my daughter wen she is finally ready to eat it's not there...I thought maybe the maid is hungry so I had to cook again for my daughter and I didn't even ask her bout that till today... she can't cook so why can't you teach her ?
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 17:34
Yes this is it I am taking her back to her agency first thing tomorrow morning...if only they were open today she would not be in my house by now I will not tolerate her after what she did today morning...morning I told her to cook her lunch wen my baby was sleeping she said " not now mam later".i said fine after 5min she comes to me and says "what am I supposed to do with vegetables I don't eat vegetables I want chicken or fish...".I was like oh really u eat chicken and fish everyday back home and she goes yes with every meal I eat chicken and fish only Christian filipinas eat veggies I don't and my mom and my sister cooks food for me when the food is ready I go and eat...I lost it I told her to just shut up and told her u really think I am going to buy that story...and she interrupts me and says I work whole day and you don't give me food...I said stop right there I have been cooking you food 3 times a day and on top of that u have been taking extra food from the fridge for the past few days without my permission and you have the guts to lie on my face that I don't give you food???She raises her voice and tells me I was hungry so I took food from the fridge see I am taking care of a baby so I will be hungry and my contract says everything is free here.i said this is it I will not tolerate you anymore pack your bags first thing in the morning you will be out of my house...I tell not to touch anything in my house except she can cook her food which I kept on the kitchen table...I told her to stay in her room and I take my kids upstairs.I am so angry and upset... I go down to the kitchen for lunch and I realise she has helped herself to a lot more stuff than just food from fridge...and she has still not touched the rice the veggies or the kuboos the sauce I have left on the table...and wen I had asked her to stay in her room she is cleaning my kitchen,ironing my kids clothes...and then she comes and tells me I am sorry mam I have come all way from Filipinos I don't understand anything here...I stopped her right there and said there will be no more talking be ready tomorrow morning... [b'>What a nightmare...[/b'> edited by wowsmarties on 27/12/2013 yes, I daresay that's what she's thinking too... Why would you say that doubting Thomas if it was a nightmare for her she wouldn't try to talk me into keeping her.... sounds like she's young, has been used to her mother and sister cooking for her - maybe in her previous jobs she didn't have to cook..she says she doesn't understand anything here and all you've done is complain about how much coffee she drinks and that she doesn't eat vegetables !! And in the middle of you shouting at her to shut up she's still cleaning your kitchen and doing your ironing !! The nerve of the girl !! lol sorry but I think maybe you started off on the wrong foot but now you can start again but lay down some ground rules and tell her what you expect. And instead of cooking for her you could teach her how to cook for herself and the family...just saying...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 17:18
Thanks !! since I saw this thread i'm wanting some too now !! lolol with cream.......
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 17:17
Yes this is it I am taking her back to her agency first thing tomorrow morning...if only they were open today she would not be in my house by now I will not tolerate her after what she did today morning...morning I told her to cook her lunch wen my baby was sleeping she said " not now mam later".i said fine after 5min she comes to me and says "what am I supposed to do with vegetables I don't eat vegetables I want chicken or fish...".I was like oh really u eat chicken and fish everyday back home and she goes yes with every meal I eat chicken and fish only Christian filipinas eat veggies I don't and my mom and my sister cooks food for me when the food is ready I go and eat...I lost it I told her to just shut up and told her u really think I am going to buy that story...and she interrupts me and says I work whole day and you don't give me food...I said stop right there I have been cooking you food 3 times a day and on top of that u have been taking extra food from the fridge for the past few days without my permission and you have the guts to lie on my face that I don't give you food???She raises her voice and tells me I was hungry so I took food from the fridge see I am taking care of a baby so I will be hungry and my contract says everything is free here.i said this is it I will not tolerate you anymore pack your bags first thing in the morning you will be out of my house...I tell not to touch anything in my house except she can cook her food which I kept on the kitchen table...I told her to stay in her room and I take my kids upstairs.I am so angry and upset... I go down to the kitchen for lunch and I realise she has helped herself to a lot more stuff than just food from fridge...and she has still not touched the rice the veggies or the kuboos the sauce I have left on the table...and wen I had asked her to stay in her room she is cleaning my kitchen,ironing my kids clothes...and then she comes and tells me I am sorry mam I have come all way from Filipinos I don't understand anything here...I stopped her right there and said there will be no more talking be ready tomorrow morning... [b'>What a nightmare...[/b'> edited by wowsmarties on 27/12/2013 yes, I daresay that's what she's thinking too...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 17:12
Sorry, we've always had new year at home - up until they're teenagers the kids are in bed anyway !! Since we've been here we've usually done a bbq but you could get it catered...
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 12:34
You can trim it yourself if you dare or there is a shop in Bin Sougat that will cut it down for you. If you get a. New sim, you will lose all your numbers on old sim. I got a new phone Christmas day and my husband just trimmed my sim card with scissors !!
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 11:34
We sometimes use You Tube to catch up Corrie but last week they started taking them off.. Have to make sure we keep up now !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 25 December 2013 - 02:05
Our DS arrived home from Dubai yesterday morning for Christmas and his first request? A decent bacon buttie. Was more than happy to oblige! Tomorrow's Sunday breakfast? pork sausages, bacon, Scottish tattie scone and duck eggs! :D [b'>What on earth does that have to do with someone looking for veggie bacon[/b'>? Talk about insensitive to a vegetarian! And duck eggs? EWWWWW! Absolutely nothing !! lol Sadly it's more of a testament to his poor shopping skills - we eat fab bacon, ham and sausages regularly !! lol
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 25 December 2013 - 02:01
omg! I think it's time to crack open the sherry :-P bacon-gate!! :D is it as good as chicken nugget gate ??
2298
Posts
EW EXPERT
Latest post on 25 December 2013 - 01:20
I'm confused by The Garden Centre (Lulu's)...