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Hello.Again.Kitty

Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 13 August 2011 - 15:24
I know the "fresh eyes" is sooo difficult, but that's what we're here for too. I like the way the others have mentioned a bit more lateral thinking too - there are sooo many different ways to tackle such things and we do get so het up about "not creating bad habits", doing things "the right way" and sticking to routines. We get fed so much information that we often can't see the wood for the trees. Imo, small babies only cry for 3 reasons: - they're hungry - they're uncomfortable (hot/ cold, pain, tired...) - they need reassurance. Work through the 3, without assuming anything and I'm sure you'll find the answer (I always seem to overlook the "uncomfortable" one for some reason!)... then do what you need to to solve it.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 13 August 2011 - 12:52
I think when it is your native language you tend to be less aware of the "rules" but often follow them instinctively, was quite interesting going through that list, When saying "the" I definitely do say Thi (rhymes with we) before vowel sounds and and tha (rhymes with duh) before consonants (and when vowels sound like consonants) without ever knowing it was a "rule" or having thought about it. TBH, native speakers or not always good examples of "good" english (Have heard plenty of brits say "I done this" or "I seen that" or "I were thinking" and the rules on what is acceptable are constantly evolving anyway. THE as emphasis is different, you then say a long theee with a pause as in theee (pause) place to be. hmm, what about "a", do you say "a" (rhymes with hay) pie or "a" (rhymes with duh) pie etc, have never really thought about that one either, is there a rule?. (obviously I know when to use "an") I think to a certain extent, the English language only has "rules" so that it can be taught as a foreign language! There are so many irregularities that making any rule is rather tenuous. I also change the way I speak depending on circumstance, who I was talking to and what emphasis I wanted to put on it - I could quite easily say "thuh- " before any of those words listed by Princess I, just as easily as I could enunciate them all properly.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 13 August 2011 - 12:38
I have to admit I've speed read quite a bit, so may have missed some points, but my first thought is to just step back a bit - tell me, when he wakes at night, do you feed him? I only ask this because sometimes we get so set in "oh, but he feeds every 3 hours, so he can't be hungry" that we miss what the cue actually is. I simply don't believe that a 13 week old is crying for the fun of it - yes, he's trying to get your attention, but [i'>why[/i'>? (that's the million dollar question!). DD (also nearly 4kg at birth) cluster fed of an evening at around about the same age as your son - in fact, she wanted milk every hour from 19h30 until about 22h30. My first reaction to any small baby crying is to give it milk, which was the right answer for my DD, but not for my son (who just wanted to be left alone and [i'>not[/i'> patted, shushed or fed!). I also think that the "you've got to nip it now or it'll just get worse" is pure scaremongering. What kind of worse? Basically, as long as you are happy with any of the techniques you happen to be using (and would be happy to do with a 12kg older baby!), then that's fine. More often than not, though, when we're talking about small babies' sleep patterns (as opposed to 6-month-old +), the baby changes so much of their own accord that they just grow out of it on their own. DD stopped her cluster-feeding at 5 months old... So, my advice would be to try and take a step back, clear your mind and see the situation with fresh eyes. Forget the theories, forget the daytime patterns and look at your baby for the answer. We sometimes miss how simple the solution can be.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 13 August 2011 - 00:03
try clove oil or whole cloves next to your gums (as long as you're not pregnant - very important!) - cloves are a strong natural anti-inflammatory and anaesthetic, BUT I would get it checked out just to be sure there's no infection.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 20:14
This could turn into a wonderful clars war..............;) hehe - more regional, I'd say, 'cos both DH and I are from similar backgrounds... So, how do [i'>you[/i'> pronounce "really"?! ;-p
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 20:09
It's pronounced thiii........ Thee as in "The End" is a theatrical flourish. I think it's down to emphasis really. Strictly speaking, "the" should be pronounced "thee" - rhymes with "he" (and "thee" would have a longer end, so more like "theeh"), but we get lazy and string words together too hastily... sooo... I would say "hun, I'm just off to cut thuh grass..." but "I want you to cut thee grass now!" (spellings obviously only to illustrate pronunciation). DH and I have a much more important argument about the pronunciation of "really" - I say it should be properly enunciated like "real-ly" whereas he is adamant it can also be pronounced "rarely" (but I say, noooo, because that's a different spelling and meaning). We are from different parts of England, but just as stubborn sticklers for correct English. lol
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 20:01
If I did turn it off, I'd completely defrost it and put a folded towel over both doors to stop them closing and going mouldy. My concern is around the risk of an electrical fault really - the most common cause of fires at home. I haven't thought about it too much in the past, but for some reason am spooking myself now!! there's no more of a risk of it creating a fire while you're away than while you're at home/work. How many times in your lifetime have one of your home appliances caused an electrical fire?
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 14:41
yup, unless it's completely empty, leave it on. Also, if you do turn it off (and empty), wedge the door ajar and it won't start smelling.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 11:52
oh dear... and the grammar school kids will quite probably be expelled too - it's very frowned upon to get a criminal conviction whilst at certain establishments - I know my uni was very strict on it. /golfclap
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 11:49
It's tragic really, isn't it? I hear exactly the same excuses from my 4 year old, but she's starting to grow out of it at least.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 01:56
Not sure i believe that these looters were opportunists... Hard to imagine [i'>anyone[/i'> breaking the law simply because "everyone else is".... That's what makes us the ones who wouldn't... and that's a darned good thing. I can't understand it either, just as I don't understand how anyone can have absolutely no personal ambition, no sense of bringing something to society, how people can be apathetic... but that's how I was brought up and what shapes me... and ultimately why I think for myself, question and generally "do stuff". I've never followed the herd - not even as a teen liking the boy bands my friends did... but that's what society seems to value nowadays - being in, keeping up, being on trend. It's not actually too out there really - in the absence of a coherent traditional, family-centred community to belong to, people find their own circles and not standing out (by doing as everyone else does) ensures that they stay anchored in those circles. Some of them may be misguided (like the gang culture), but we're hard-wired to be most comfortable (and safe) in a community. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 12/08/2011</em>
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 01:06
Speechless at your post, do you actually read what you write? lol - yes... and stand by it too. The whole business moved extraordinarily quickly from people feeling aggrieved through solidarity to a free-for-all of personal gain. Looting isn't a protest against perceived injustice, it's just criminal greed and considering how it snowballed, it wasn't through a growing wave of protest but people thinking "oo, I'll have some of that, thank you very much". People get bolder when they see there's no control and the lemmings that didn't have the gumption to be amongst the first, suddenly decided it was fine to chip in once it was clear they weren't really going to get hurt by the police. Add to that the mix and trends of demographics and there you have it. Not quite what you said the first time - to me it sounded like you were saying the blacks started looting and the whites who were normally law abiding - "wouldn't say boo to a goose" just tagged along.... As the manager of a hifi shop said - ppl who came in to help themselves at 10 at night weren't just "passing by" - they had deliberately gone to the shop to thieve... I don't believe that normally law abiding ppl will loot from a vandalised shop under any circumstances - even the couple who rode off on new bikes... there has to be a missing piece of their moral make-up.. My apologies if I didn't quite express myself clearly - I always try to. I agree with you and lets face it, the great majority of Britain isn't simply waiting for an opportunity to loot and pillage with impunity (although I do quite fancy an iPad...). What I find disturbing are the number of people, who, under normal circumstances, wouldn't do anything particularly radical, but have it in them, so to speak... and let it break out as soon as they see the opportunity. They don't do it because they feel they need to, nor because it's their way of life, nor to fuel whatever urge, but just because they can, "'cos everyone else is"... but only after letting others pave the way. Monkey see, monkey do. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 12/08/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 12 August 2011 - 00:16
Speechless at your post, do you actually read what you write? lol - yes... and stand by it too. The whole business moved extraordinarily quickly from people feeling aggrieved through solidarity to a free-for-all of personal gain. Looting isn't a protest against perceived injustice, it's just criminal greed and considering how it snowballed, it wasn't through a growing wave of protest but people thinking "oo, I'll have some of that, thank you very much". People get bolder when they see there's no control and the lemmings that didn't have the gumption to be amongst the first, suddenly decided it was fine to chip in once it was clear they weren't really going to get hurt by the police. Add to that the mix and trends of demographics and there you have it.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 22:33
because people saw predominantly coloured British doing the rampaging. . From the footage i have seen there has been at least 50% of white youths involved and most of the pics of those charged so far have been white. edited by Princess_I on 11/08/2011 The first lot of footage when it kicked off was mainly in the predominantly black communities, after all, the rather tenuous catalyst for it was the shooting of a black lad. Ironically, I think that most of the white guys wouldn't usually have the guts to kick off and protest, but saw the ongoing rioting as a bit of an opportunity and joined the herd on the subsequent nights. I can't begin to tell you how I hold them in contempt - opportunistic sheep who wouldn't say boo to a goose but would quite happily follow (and hide behind) others for a bit of personal gain.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 22:21
You can't have read the whole thread, QF2011, some people seem to have been blaming "immigrants" for these riots. I object to it. not as a direct cause of the riots, but some people blame immigration for undermining "traditional British Values" (whatever they may be) and consequently all other ills that affect our society at the moment. Are you suggesting that immigration is not an issue for the UK? There are some issues relating to it, but the majority of immigrants come over and work very hard for their living. I can't help but think that the problem lies more with the people who are looking for excuses, who are unwilling to realise that Britian is founded on a mix of cultures going back millennia (the original British are mostly lurking in Cornwall and Wales, the rest being Norse, Viking, Saxon (Germans), Normans (French - shock horror), Celts... and a good few others.)... but what they're often really trying to express is that they have a problem with immigrants with a different skin colour... plain and simple. [i'>That's[/i'> why the whole immigrant debate kicked off with the riots, because people saw predominantly coloured British doing the rampaging. I say British and mean it because these young people are often second or third generation British, but of course to certain groups of people, anyone with a different skin colour must be fresh off the boat, and probably illegal to boot. Classic scapegoat scenario - blame it all on a mis-informed generalisation because then at least you don't have to face up to the fact that you've actually failed as a member of the society you're claiming to be so proud of belonging to.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 22:01
You can't have read the whole thread, QF2011, some people seem to have been blaming "immigrants" for these riots. I object to it. not as a direct cause of the riots, but some people blame immigration for undermining "traditional British Values" (whatever they may be) and consequently all other ills that affect our society at the moment.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 21:19
again... and again, in fact, Kiwispers! People will start talking! :\:
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 21:05
But are countries who have a tougher stance facing these problems as much? I'd have to say no. Human Rights has gone way over the top, governments are a soft touch, there's zero discipline - so what's the answer then? often countries who take a tougher stance are also less transparent about what actually goes on within them.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 20:13
there's actually no reason to assume that your baby will need a pacifier at all... some do, some don't.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 20:11
I liked Kaz Cooke's book - the rough guide to pregnancy. Rather funny, but informative. Just be aware that no book is going to be spot on, no book is going to describe exactly your experience (to come) and you can read the whole library full and then find it was all rubbish! lol
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 20:05
just received this on FB numerous times as have probably many people on this site, says it all really, glad I'm here as it's probably quite depressing at home! Quote: RIP Broken Britain.. You went soft on discipline!.. You went soft on immigration! Parents were told.. 'No you can't smack the kids'....Teachers were prevented from chastising kids in schools.. The police couldn't clip a troublemaker round the ear.. Kids had rights blah blah blah.. Well done Britain..You shall reap what you sow.. We have lost a whole generation......!! :( Yup, and that's just the kind of victimised, "I couldn't do anything about it", "it's everybody else's fault" excuse that got us into that mess. Completely aside from the fact that a lot of these so-called immigrants were the ones out and trying to protect their communities and that the looters were/are from all kinds of backgrounds, it just doesn't help. Again, it's that kind of attitude that quite frankly disgusts me - ranting about how society is failing from the comfort of your armchair whilst not even lifting your little finger to do anything about it, even in a small way. Apathy sickens me... all and any of us can make a difference, and even if that means something to only one person, that's one step in a better direction. I wonder if the person who wrote that was an active volunteer in his community - maybe rehabilitating young offenders, maybe organising meaningful activities... supporting the disposessed? Delivering meals for charity... working with schools? Probably not... probably his only encounter with "immigrants" was popping to his local corner shop to buy the Daily Fail and his only contribution towards youth in his area was to tut as they walk past. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 11/08/2011</em>
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 10:42
As someone who paid tax and National Insurance for 38 years, without a break, I don't see it as a benefit as such, after all, I have paid into the system. it's not something you can get your money's worth though - it's not due to you (or anyone else), but there to help the most vulnerable in a kind of forced altruism. These things were put in place so that, as a society, we avoid the horrors of extreme poverty, poor health and malnutrition, all of which would spill over from The Poor and impinge on our wonderful middle class lifestyles (dripping with irony there). You know, lots of people are demanding cuts in benefits, but if you were to cut those to the elderly, say, you would see them die younger, isolated and in pain... because that's great social responsibility right there, isn't it. But hey, even old people can work, hey? What about their families? Gosh, if they can't afford their heating, shouldn't their children step in and help out? ... and they do cost so much to the taxpayer in the last few years of their lives... but wait, we all grow old, don't we, whereas we aren't all "spongers". Let's keep all the benefits for the Olds then, because at least that's something for me to look forward to in old age with no effort on my part. I'm not going to bother with my own pension, because the government will pay for me, hopefully for about 30 years... See my point? It's not the benefits that are wrong, but the mindset that we ALL have in varying degrees of being owed them.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 10:06
almost all of the ones on sale here in the UK are basically a padded quilt with sensory bits sewn into it (or not). Some of them come with either fixed or detachable arches with dangly bits for bubs to play with, but in reality, they only need something safe and comfortable - a thick blanket on the floor (maybe on top of a rug) with some toys would do the job just as well.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 10:02
I totally agree with HAK (have been doing a lot of that lately ;) ) No bad thing - it's mutual! :) We could be the same person for the bleeding nipples though - with DD I hadn't had any real issues, but DS, gosh, there were scabs on the scabs... if indeed they were ever left to scab over. He had such a strong suck, I don't think they stood a chance and I also don't think he was ideally latched on, but for the life of me, I couldn't get him to change. [OP - this also goes to show that it's down to bubs and therefore what happens with one, may not happen with another!'>
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 09:52
I'm going to be stoned now for having tried to claim support aren't I! :-S Not at all. In fact, I was the same - couldn't pay my council tax for a bit, called up to not ask for it to be wiped out, but just for them to allow me to defer paying for a few months while I got some cash together (was studying and working 3 jobs) and they did their "assessment" and told me I could afford it, so tough. Really, though, absolutely everyone in the UK is receiving benefits - what else are the NHS and free schooling, if not a benefit? Many people don't see them that way though and as such are just as guilty for taking the system for granted than those watching daytime telly whilst on the dole.
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 01:01
Because i was expressing i could see how much was coming out, i started to worry my breast were and still are not producing enough milk. For example from one breast i might be able to get out 90ml and from the other only 15ml. (which originally it was the other way round). For this reason i'm not sure if he's eating well. Can I just chip in (again) as say that expressing often [i'>isn't[/i'> a good indication of how much bubs is getting. Babies are much better at getting the milk out than pumps (in general). To give you an idea, I could only ever express about 30ml from an expressing session that would be 20 minutes of pumping - if I got 100ml after doing both breasts, I was overjoyed. I once decided to pump whilst feeding DS and when he triggered my let-down, the milk came pouring out so much, the bottle was full in less than 2 minutes. Both my children only ever fed for 5-10 minutes at a time (every 3-4 hours, I guess... I didn't really pay attention!) and hugged the 75th-91st centile as if there was no tomorrow. In short, trust your body. Trust your instincts. They're almost always right. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 11/08/2011</em>
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Latest post on 11 August 2011 - 00:53
A question: Can any person qualify for benefits in the UK? For example, in the USA, you can usually only get benefits (welfare) if you are on disability, elderly, or if you have minor children whom you cannot support. How does it work in the UK? Anyone who doesn't have a job basically [b'>Wrong.[/b'> Anyone can receive benefits, but many of them are means tested, which means that those on lower incomes are given more support. In general, benefits are given to anyone who has dependants (child benefit, not currently means-tested, child Tax Credits, Working Tax Credits) or who is adult and for whatever reason isn't working (jobseekers, disability allowance, Maternity Allowance, pensions...). Some things are given as cash, others are discounted at source (Council Tax Benefit, Housing Benefit, free Bus Passes, free insulation, help with winter heating...). Others still are available to anyone, regardless of income or background - the NHS and free education being two of them. They're all great in fact and help millions of people live healthy, productive and dignified lives, but they also rely on people being honest and wanting to be independent. They're not there to be a source of income, but to help people who would otherwise have to make some very hard choices (like weather or not to seek medical attention when needed, how to put food on the table and how to keep a roof over your family's head).
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 22:10
So, my question remains - what would you do with them? In the short term, I would make them work in their community until they find a job. If they don't turn up, then it'll be a sliding scale of reduction in benefits, so essentially, they are in control of their income and have no one to blame if they're skint. Added bonus is that they will be clearing up the mess they made and helping the people they wronged, having to face up to the consequences of their actions... BUT, as always, the enforcement is the issue... ... and that still won't change their way of life. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 10/08/2011</em>
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 21:58
Where are the parents??? Maybe if the government stopped child benefits to these morons who are not capable of bringing up their kis to have some sets of values they might wake up..but I think it might be too late. What a waste. lol - a/ it's not £20 a week less or more that's going to make a difference to parents who don't care and b/ for those really on the breadline, if you cut this, well, what do you get? Can't send kiddo out to the mine any more, so I guess that'll equate to less food on the table. --- I can't for the life of me see how we (the British) can go about resolving this because it's about changing a whole generation's (or two generations') mindset. You can do this gradually through education or through draconian measure which will make the most vulnerable suffer even more. Tough love it ain't, when people risk dying of poor health, malnutrition (yes, even in the UK, if you can't afford decent food) and you don't give them alternatives.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 16:34
@ 2Blossom & Spamm - you're very right and tbh, when you're in that situation, you are all the more vulnerable and so medical professionals should be all the more diligent and sensible. As first time mums, we are impressionable and do listen to what "experts" say without questioning them... and that's fine, as long as that "expert" is giving well informed, impartial information that is pertinent to your situation/ condition. Once you've walked away, it's not too late to complain or voice your opinion - it's never really too late. The sad thing is that many of us chalk it up to a bad experience, and settle for just never going back instead of doing our bit to make sure no one else has to go through it. We can talk about it to friends and family or on forums, but it doesn't actually solve the root of the problem - the bad service itself. This person may genuinely think that the advice she's giving is good. She may genuinely not be aware of recent studies, but part of her job - and a very important part at that - is to make sure she is up to speed. If it takes a gentle reminder in the form of a few complaints, she should be thankful for it and step up her game. You don't need to have a degree in child development to be able to question some advice that feels wrong - just as you don't need a degree in dentistry to question a dentist who tells you that you need all your teeth pulled out. You'd ask if it was necessary, if there was any other way around the problem... you'd ask to be shown why that was the recommendation, ask about the consequences, on-going issue and ultimately, if you still weren't convinced, you'd ask for a second or third opinion. I was once told that I needed to cut out DD's night feeds with the cry-it-out method and the "health professional" added that it didn't matter if she was physically sick, because that was "quite normal"... sorry love, but no, it's not "quite normal" for anyone to be so distraught they are physically sick. I asked a far more trusted health pro and she shook her head and said it wasn't necessary, that I already had all the bases in place and it was just a matter of time... and a few months later DD was sleeping through the night with no intervention from me. Anyhow, I'm rambling. It just saddens me no end how some people prey on us mums (and mums-to-be) at our most vulnerable points.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 15:35
HAK how did you miss that thread, ;) it was a long one! ;), memorable for the alleged "breastmilk is high is sugar and will give your baby diabetes....." comment among others, luckily we all have a mother instinct, if you think your baby needs you they most likely do. lol - I must have been on holiday! Seriously though, if this person is giving out that kind of wacky "advice", she really ought to be struck off. I would have actually walked out of that consultancy and refused to pay. Medical professionals have a duty to give impartial, informed advice that is soundly rooted in scientific research, not some loony theory based on whatever they may have cooked up. Is it not allowed to tell her name ? I wouldn't, because it's someone's reputation on the line and you can enter into all kinds of libel issues if you're not careful. Naming and shaming on the Intarwebz is generally frowned upon for good reason. Instead, if anyone has grievances, they should always go through the appropriate channels - direct, through teh company and/or through the regulatory body.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 15:33
It'll take 5 minutes to get gas cylinders delivered and installed, unless your kitchen isn't set up for gas? Otherwise, if you have a microwave oven, have a look at casseroles online and fake it ;) really?! That must be the most efficient service in the UAE! ;) ------ Anyhow, loads of stuff you can do with only 2 hobs. Sausage hotpot (or chicken) - fry onions, peppers and meat until slightly browned, add stock cube, can tomatoes, water and rice/pasta. Boil. Serve! Fish in a creamy sauce - put rice to boil in one pan. In the frying pan, fry onions and mushrooms in some butter. When they're nicely browned, pop them in a bowl for later. Pope some more butter in the frying pan, fry fish, add a tub of cream cheese, some dill or parsley, salt and pepper. Let cheese melt, add the veg back in to simmer. Serve with the rice...
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 15:26
HAK how did you miss that thread, ;) it was a long one! ;), memorable for the alleged "breastmilk is high is sugar and will give your baby diabetes....." comment among others, luckily we all have a mother instinct, if you think your baby needs you they most likely do. lol - I must have been on holiday! Seriously though, if this person is giving out that kind of wacky "advice", she really ought to be struck off. I would have actually walked out of that consultancy and refused to pay. Medical professionals have a duty to give impartial, informed advice that is soundly rooted in scientific research, not some loony theory based on whatever they may have cooked up.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 15:11
just do it gradually over a week or two - (reduce one pumping session every few days). If she's bottle-feeding in general, that makes it soooo much easier because you don't have to deal with the psychological perspective.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 12:33
the more you give these yobs, the more they want (Without having to work for it!) Ok so there's a couple of people who don't agree with corporal punishment in schools so how do we discipline them??? lets 1. buy them a Wii or a Playstation 2. Take them to Eurodisney 3. tell them "We love you" Errrr these have all been tried but hey if you can tell me the solution to this yob culture without the use of corporal punishment when there are thousands of these poor creatures on the streets of our country then i'm all ears. Not one of these kids I bet have had the strap or lines or whatever at any school in UK in their miserable little lives. I was never given CP at school but was threatened with it and that was enough! It ultimately starts and ends at home. I'm afraid, us parents have to do all the work really. Instilling a sense of self-worth, a sense of having a part to play in society, a sense of what is right and wrong, that you have rights, but the trade-off is also to have responsibilities and that any rewards are purely based on merit - if you don't earn them, you don't get them. Schools can't teach effectively if kiddo trundles home to parents who don't care, don't have any ambition and aren't role models. They will look to other rubbish role models too - footballers who get riduculous amounts of money chasing a ball. My in-laws' Labrador can do that, but isn't paid the equivalents of 2 nurses' full year's salary every month. There's a lot that's skewed and to be honest, I don't know if it can be repaired. I imagine that there's actually be a complete split in society and really radical action will have to be taken.
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 12:27
So if it used to be okay to beat kids for making mistakes, why isn't it okay to beat adults for making mistakes in their jobs? Or for kids to beat other kids when they "make a mistake", like not handing over a toy?
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 12:24
It is rather unprofessional to give this sort of advice as an "expert", I wonder if "she who will not be mentioned" reads this forum, I would be interested in why she is giving this and a few other dreadful pieces of mis-information regarding breastmilk/breastfeeding to new mothers, it is one thing to share personal or anecdotal advice mother-to-mother, quite another to pass it off as evidence-based in a professional context where you are paid for your advice. As a sleep expert, she should be well aware of the facts/research, it isn't exactly groundbreaking or hard to find. it seems I'm the only one to not actually know her name! lol! I don't need/want to know it either, but as always, would urge everyone to question, question and question again. If it were free advice, then you'd take it with a pinch of salt, but personally, I wouldn't be happy paying for the privilege of "advice" that is contrary to current thinking and could ultimately be detrimental.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 12:18
I've seen this, which sadly hits the nail on the head for some of them: "For a bunch of people with no opportunities, this is an opportunity." There are always opportunities if you look for them. The UK's job market may be on its knees, but there are still jobs... maybe not nice jobs, or well paid jobs, but jobs nonetheless. If you can't find a job, then there are loads and loads of volunteering opportunities that will add to your CV by proving that you're keen and not put off by some hard graft. The problem is, "everyone" has a flat-screen now... "everyone" has a smartphone... "everyone" has an iPad... and all of those things represents a full months' salary of someone on the minimum wage. Grafting for months just to be able to [i'>save up[/i'> to be able to eventually buy something all your mates have right now? Come off it! --- I was smacked as a child, by the way. Didn't stop me from doing it again though, just made me hide it better. My dad was beaten at home and at school - didn't stop him getting expelled, nor getting in trouble with the police, nor looking for gang fights. I don't hit my kids - I teach them to communicate their anger and frustration through appropriate means, like the civilised human beings I would like them to become.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 11:51
I don't think she has misunderstood as I was also given that advise when DS was just shy of 8 weeks old. I did question this as I thought I hadn't heard right (DH was there with me) I couldn't do it and think it's far too young. I was thinking about this and since this "professional" seems to be doling out this "advice" to a few people, could I possibly ask that those of you who do receive it, really grill her on what foundation she bases it on. Ask her if she's aware of the studies that show it to be at best pointless and at worst traumatic for the baby. Ask her how she aligns it with the baby's development and how it fits in to this. Basically, I was told a couple of months ago that the government only requests about 1/3 of the continued professional development (CPD) within the medical professions that other countries do and has only just made this decision. I fear, therefore, that there are many "professionals" out there who have not kept up with current studies, research and thinking. CPD is considered essential to any profession, and is taken so seriously (in the UK at least) that if you don't keep up with it, you can be struck off and banned from practising until you get back up to speed. It's a bit worrying to say the least.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 11:39
Belt them and belt them again if they're naughty and lets hope the next generation of kids will turn out better. And that teaches them what exactly? Oh yes... if you're not happy about something, you can hit someone, just hit them hard enough so they don't hit back. Even better if they're defenceless 'cos you're bound to win then, hey... oo the satisfaction! :\: The guys on the streets are the kids of a generation where corporal punishment was rife, so they obviously instilled some great values there, hey? I would look more to the real issue of rampant consumerism and the skewed notion that you can have rights with no responsibility, rather than trying to solve violence with more violence. Saying that, if people are being killed, then I fear those plastic bullets will come out and then everyone will be in trouble, 'cos you can bet your bottom dollar that some of these guys are tooled up with live ammo.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 01:03
I think I saw one at Ace in the aisle opposite the tartan paint. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 10/08/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 10 August 2011 - 00:06
I have no one to call to in case I get sick. You have your husband. If you're ill and really can't cope, he should call in sick - mine has had to do it 3 or 4 times in the last 4 years because, well, what's the alternative? Every employee can call in sick occasionally!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 23:40
Aw, Steth... you're doing a great job hanging in there - many wouldn't have stayed that course! As Kiwispers and I said, it's quite possible that it's not actually properly blocked ducts (even though it feels like it), but a case on one duct (and associated cluster of milk-producing thingumies) just producing loads and not clearing. I'm not trying to pooh-pooh what you're experiencing, but it just sounds remarkably similar to my experience second time around - first time, everything was engorged and hard... second time around, my breasts felt absolutely normal, as if I didn't have any milk (which was so far from the truth!) *apart* from these two ducts, in identical places on each breast which would get engorged and not clear completely. In the end, the massage helped clear them slightly and I resigned myself to the fact that they would always be the engorged ones, instead of my whole breast. Just to give a bit of perspective, with my first, my whole breasts would get so engorged they looked like half-melons stuck to my chest and on one occasion, I felt they were so full to bursting, I had to crash'n'burn out of my shopping trip, phoning my husband to get the pump ready so that I could let off steam (so to speak) as soon as I got through the door. Unfortunately, he hadn't understood my sense of urgency and "hadn't quite got round to it", but DD woke up, as if by magic! Whilst I admire your husband's resolve, it's not him who's going through this and this is entirely your own call. Everyone's different and on such a personal issue, only you know how far you want to go and absolutely no-one has the authority to undermine your decision.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 19:39
you could also try firm but gentle massage from the outside of the breast towards the nipple while bubs is feeding. It won't be instant relief by any means, but anything to get the flow going a bit better. It could also be that those particular ducts are *just* getting engorged more than the others - second time around the ones that go from armpit to nipple were almost always tight and hard, whereas the reast of the breast was fine. With the help of this firm massage, they could be emptied (finally!). Just watch out for any redness or burning sensation (or the surface of the breast getting hot) and if it happens, hop off to your Dr's to get you checked out for mastitis.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 16:42
nip to the Rattlesnake or the bar up the Burj Khalifa and ask one of the luscious ladies in there if you can borrow an outfit or 2 ;) has the bar in the Burj gone that way too?! lol --- NB: I think we're digressing. OP - don't forget to do your hair too - the "Croydon Facelift" is an absolute must!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 16:05
I do think its different to dressing up as a French person or a German person, or an aristocrat, though, because those are not marginalised groups, and the joke isn't about middle-class people having a laugh dressing 'down' as people they would be horrified to be identified with in real life. I think it all depends on where you stand within the heirarchy then, doesn't it? This reminds me of that class sketch with John Cleese and the Two Ronnies (sadly, apparently, no longer available to view due to copyright). Anyway, thanks for the response - now bowing out. I need to go and buy the paper before the local shops start boardng over their frontages again! The Carphone Warehouse and Next just down the road were smashed up last night, so everyone's a bit twitchy. Oh gosh - didn't realise you were so close to it all! I hope it comes under control and you're not too affected.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 15:24
*like* Now there also needs to be "grass those rioting bast7rds up" website. what. like [url=http://catchalooter.tumblr.com/'>this[/url'> one?! some prize pics on there... oops!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 15:22
Again, to the OP, I'm not suggesting for a moment that this choice of theme was your idea or endorsed by you, but, Hello. Again. Kitty, I'm disappointed that a poster whose comments I've always had a lot of time for can't see the difference between dressing up as a posh or French person and this kind of thing. CA, it's not something I would go for either, BUT in reality, aside from the fact that it's a bit more controversial at the moment, it's not much different at all. Would it have been better dressing up as "proper" gypsies? Is any minority group more immune to stereotyping than others? What determines being able to stereotype one group of people with impunity and to be condemned for doing the same to another? I imagine that the real issue is that the theme has equated the "Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" to being a chav, which is rather a derogatory term. I watched some of the series and quite frankly saw nothing chavvy about the travellers - if anything it was lovely to see such a coherent community, all with jobs, roles and deep-seated social responsibilities... and everyone stepping up to the mark. BUT some people can't see through the surface and can only comment on the clothes. I would also add that if the Travellers (as a whole?!) weren't happy about how they were being portrayed, they maybe shouldn't have allowed more than one season!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 13:55
Also - not getting at the OP, as I assuming it wasn't her choice of theme - but this smacks of the ongoing demonisation/stereotyping of working-class people [i'>and[/i'> Irish people, as well as Irish Travellers specifically, following on from that awful TV programme. Any kind of fancy dress has an element of taking the mickey and bowing to stereotypes - dress as a French person? Out comes the beret, stripy top and string of onions. German? Lederhosen all the way! High-society? Hmm... monacles, cigarette holders and tweeds.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 09 August 2011 - 13:32
gosh - who on earth is proposing to leave your 6 week old to cry (or "get over it") should be locked in solitary confinement for a day and see how they "get over it". 2 minutes, maybe, but really, at 6 weeks, bubs doesn't even know that s/he's not part of you, let alone has grasped the concept of time and object permanence (8 months is approximately when that happens). Basically, think of it this way. All bubs knows is that it needs you to live. Crying is its only means of expressing itself - it can't move, can't talk, can't do anything by itself, so if you don't help it, it knows it will die - that's why at this age, it's not "manipulation" as we understand the adult form of "manipulation" to a devious end, but the instinct of survival. You can apply this to any of its basic needs - "if I'm hungry but no-one feeds me, I will die.", "If I'm abandoned, I will die". When you leave your baby (until they start understanding object permanence), they actually have no idea that the most important person in their life will ever come back. Would that not make you cry rather loudly too? So, to move it back to slightly less scary scenarios and more helpful advice, start putting in place a bedtime routine. In these first months, you're building (gradually) a solid base for good habits - sleep, attitude, social interaction, nutrition. Nothing comes instantly (apart from for the lucky few) and it's generally a process - a learning process for both of you. My family's bedtime routine is relatively flexible, but will always have milk, book, brushing teeth (obviously not for a 6 week old!) and then popping down in bed/ cot. If you need to stay by them to soothe them, do so - that's what they need at that point in time, and dare I say it, what us mums are there for. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 09/08/2011</em>
 
 
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