Hello.Again.Kitty | ExpatWoman.com
 

Hello.Again.Kitty

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Latest post on 05 February 2012 - 22:11
I'll add to Kiwi's post that it's completely normal for a baby to vary within 2 centile lines - so say bubs started on the 50th, then if his weight drifted anywhere between the 25th and the 75th, then this would be perfectly fine, as the average would still be around the 50th. Don't get get up on the weight gain - as long as it's happening at a steady pace, then that's what's important.
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Latest post on 02 February 2012 - 02:53
Works for me and I also know he is not going to be this way when he is 25! The problem is, if a child is brought up eating in front of the TV, this is EXACTLY what he'll still be doing when he's 25... especially when he's 25, in fact! There have been studies that have looked into eating habits and obesity and apparently, eating in front of a TV, or in front of any other distraction, does make us eat more, and eat it faster, without paying attention to quality or quantity. That's one thing if you're a toddler being spoonfed healthy stuff (but they won't know that), but the point is it creates a lifetime habit and once kiddo moves out of home, it'll be a large pizza, soda and all sorts of junk. So, it's fundamentally unhealthy. It also shuts down social interaction. I was actually really deprived as a child because my parents didn't have a telly until I was about 4 (severe sarcasm there). We always ate in the dining room together and although I can remember times when I fussed and refused to eat something (and didn't get my way), I also remember that some of our best family moments were around mealtimes. Like some of the others, my parents were Old Skoool when it came to meals - you ate what you were given, no one was allowed down from the table until you'd finished and if you fussed and it went cold, you ate it cold. Puddings were a treat, and we didn't have one every day. Actually, the first time I was allowed to refuse something because I didn't like it was when I was 11! I would have a fit if anyone I cooked for brought out an iPad or similar whilst eating the meal. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 02/02/2012</em>
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Latest post on 02 February 2012 - 02:21
porridge with brown sugar! Hmmmmmm! I only give the children about half a teaspoon sprinkled on top, but it makes them feel they're getting something like a treat!
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Latest post on 02 February 2012 - 02:19
re diluting the formula - a lot depends if bubs is actually thirsty or if he's seeking comfort through milk. As I said, my son was more than happy with water at night - no need to ease him in, 'cos he just wanted a drink! At the end of the day, they're all different and there's no one-size-fits-all approach. They all get there in the end, you just need to work out if it actually bothers you or if you're more concerned about it all being this abstract idea of what should be "normal".
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Latest post on 31 January 2012 - 03:25
I don't have any advice because mine only dropped their night feeds at 9 and 11 months respectively - both happy, bouncing big bubbas, no problems actually going to sleep, all good naps during the day, appetites to ruin you, but they still needed their milk at night. You could try leaving a sippy cup of water in the cot with her, so that if she wakes and is thirsty, then she'll recognise the cup and drink from that. I did this with my son to determine whether it was thirst or comfort he was after, and I'd hear him wake to drain the sippy cup... actually, he probably still woke during the night for a drink until gone 12 months, it's just that I didn't! DD dropped her single night feed gradually by moving it forward, but DS was waking 3 times a night until I did the sippy cup thing - bearing in mind he was 11 months old, so I wasn't too concerned about replacing milk feeds with water.
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Latest post on 31 January 2012 - 03:19
My 2 year old daughter just won't eat anything with the Tv off. I am getting really concerned and I still can't decipher whether to let this go on or to do all I can and get her to forget this behaviour...(HOW- AM YET TO FIGURE OUT). Is there anyone else who has gone through the same? You're the parent, so you're in charge. Harsh but true. It's your job. Of course she'll eat when the telly is off - she might not be happy about it, but I'm not happy changing nappies, but still have to do it! How about having a really radical day where the telly remains unplugged for the duration - even remove it completely! The more I think about it, the more I feel strongly about it - mealtimes are SUCH an important time - not only for sustenance, but also to learn basic manners and develop important social interaction. Have your meal together whenever possible and make it fun and relaxed - talk about your day, enjoy your time together, share the food, but also insist on manners. Above all, when you decide the meal is over, regardless of how much she may have eaten (by all means ask her if she's finished), then that's that. Clear it away and make it clear that there won't be anything else (and don't give in to snacks for about an hour afterwards!)... she'll learn quickly - after all, she's learnt very quickly how to get to watch more telly!
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Latest post on 31 January 2012 - 00:05
LOL at the NCT! I'm afraid breastfeeding is our only real focus, although members are more than welcome to share childbirth stories too :). Also there is no charge for our meetings or workshops (other than refreshments), so we're a lot cheaper than the NCT and all are welcome! Blinkthink we are also a peer support group and would really love your (and your friend's) participation - Frances has given you the Facebook link below, or do drop me a line on sian.breastfeedingqa at gmail.com . hehe - I've always only seen the NCT as breastfeeding support really... or support to mums who invariably tried to breastfeed as part of their ethos.. In any case, I guess my point was that you guys are trained!
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Latest post on 31 January 2012 - 00:02
lol well looks like we gave you the exact opposite advice (re grazing/snacking), I guess try both and see which one works. The irony is that HAK and I both have children that eat like horses. Why do you think grazing is unhealthy HAK? (assuming its the same sort of food) I think in my mind it's very different from having more frequent, but smaller meals. My kids will have 3 sit-down meals a day, but then a snack mid-morning and mid-afternoon, generally when and if they request it. The snacks could be a piece of fruit (or several!) and/or a couple of ricecakes... whereas meals try to get in the mix of carbs, protein, vitamins and schtuff that we all aim for. For me, grazing is almost constant nibbling and without the structure of a meal, it can often turn to not-so-healthy snacks, like biscuits, crisps, etc. From a dental point of view, your saliva takes about 30 minutes to neutralise the acid contained in foods (including drinks), so just as sipping juice throughout the day is considered bad for your teeth, so would constant grazing/snacking.
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Latest post on 30 January 2012 - 17:42
Isn't it funny how they double up words? Shoes are shoo-shoo, pizza is pee-peez, chocolate is toc-toc (should I admit those last two?! :D). heck, I still call pots of yoghurt "yog-yogs"... as does my mum! Something wrong?! ;)
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Latest post on 30 January 2012 - 17:39
Supernanny tactics here - eat with her at a table and just get on with your meal. Stop the bribing, coaxing and getting het up about it, stop trying to "get stuff in her" and don't fall into the trap of having to distract her to surreptitiously winkle a spoonful in. Mealtimes should be relaxed and sociable. Eat together and chat about your day between bites. At the end of the meal, regardless of how much she may have eaten, ask her if she's had enough/ finished/ wants more/ wants a pudding, clear the table and move on. Concentrate on mealtimes and whatever you do, don't let her snack/graze to compensate for her lack of appetite at mealtimes, because it then enters a catch 22 situation - she snacks so she's not hungry at mealtimes, so she snacks... It's also not the healthiest eating habit to instil in them! Above all, try to relax, because she can sense how worked up this is getting you. Infants have no idea of starving themselves to make a point, at least not until they start feeling hungry again! It might also be helpful to keep a log of what she eats and when, because you may be surprised. If there are any foods that you wish she didn't eat so much of, then simply stop giving them to her.
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Latest post on 30 January 2012 - 02:38
it's because we're just so special! /sigh Anyhow, I also think it's because they feel confident around us, so can let their feeling show without fear of not being liked/loved. I also think it applies just as well to adults - how many times have you confided in your husband or mum, cried on their shoulder and/or had a massive paddy that you would be embarrassed to do in front of any of your best friends? ... hmmm, maybe it's just me then! lol
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Latest post on 29 January 2012 - 23:00
Are there any support groups for breast feeding? I would be very interested in voluntarily to give some time to new mums and I know a lady who ran a campaign for breastfeeding support in the uk who has moved here and would like to give some time too. Breastfeeding Q&A - which I liken to the NCT - and Breastfeeding Mums in Dubai, which was set up with Milk! in mind (more peer support than councillor-led) Frances and BFC are behind BfQ&A and well, I know for a fact that BfMD is growing again, so any input there (coffee morning hostess!) would be hugely appreciated. We had one volunteer host one last week - the first in a long time - and it was a great success.
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Latest post on 29 January 2012 - 22:51
For whoever asked about table manners and didn't get a response... In Europe, what's considered "good" table manners is essentially everything that peasants didn't do. Yes, it's all down to snobbery and making you as different to the peasant class as possible... things like not talking with your mouth full, not chewing noisily or with your mouth open, not eating with your knife, holding your knife and fork properly (forks were quite late in appearing and therefore quite upmarket - peasants would eat with a dagger and a spoon), not having your elbows on the table when you're eating (all to do with eating delicately rather than wolfing down your meal as quickly as possible), not starting until everyone is served (thus demonstrating that a/ you're not starving and b/ you can demonstrate self-discipline). Taking it a bit further, you see "eating with the appropriate cutlery", because believe me, there's an implement for everything! I'm a bit OCD on this point and treated myself to a full canteen of cutlery because eating fish with a table knife or soup with a desert spoon just felt [i'>wrong[/i'>! lol Next stop, the crockery... What I find really interesting is that Europeans will stay at the table once they have finished eating, whereas in Muslim culture, every leaves really quite quickly afterwards. The default in Europe is to stay sitting until everyone has finished, social etiquette dictating that the meal is lead by the host - no one starts until the host does, minors ask permission to leave the table and everyone rises when the host does. Take this to the extreme of formal dining, and when Queenie finishes her course, everyone else has to stop eating! Anyhow, it's fascinating. On the subject of "may I/ can I" - the suite, so to speak (may, could, would, shall, might and can) has such subtle differences that although native English speakers [may'> know how to use them appropriately, many wouldn't be able to tell you why exactly, which is a bit rubbish when you're trying to learn how it works. THEN of course, you stumble across some archaic forms such as "would that I could", where would means "I wish"...
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 22:26
Bite him back :D. The only downside is that were I to bite my kids in anger, I would then have to take them to A&E and explain how they came about such wounds. Here in the UK, when your child is admitted to A&E, they send a form to your health visitor, just for the record, like... I would also have to deal with the fact that I too (in that case) only have the conflict resolution skills of a 2-year-old...
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 22:23
I think I lack the energy to scream. Although, with DS, DH sat on a birthing ball and I could hear it squeaking against the floor which exaggerated the pain so, it took me 12 minutes to say it, but I mustered the strength to say 'go for a smoke, am fine' and that was all I could say. Then just before giving birth I said 'gas', and he said 'no, you're not having it'. I then began to push! Lol - sounds very familiar! The only coherent things I remember saying during my first was "water. now. [sip'> away" and during my second, was "this is it" just before I started pushing. Oh and "he's not coming out", which wasn't strictly true because my waters then broke and he was out on the next two pushes!
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 22:15
my kid's drop-down cot is 65 years old and absolutely wonderful too - the side drops to bed height and was a blessing in newborn days (when they can't roll). I just put the side of the cot up as soon as the rolling over starts - it's just logical. The drop-down clasps we have need you to operate them (one at either end of the cot) at the same time, so a single baby wouldn't physically be able to. The Babyshop one I had in Dubai had an annoying mechanism where you had to push the bottom bar with your foot and then slide it down, which I could never manage properly and would end up rattling the cot like a maniac.
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 21:57
Thank you. I just read on kellymum re: what breasts feel like and im at ease. My son feeds well so im not going to worry about it any more. My LC suggested i feed 15min per side but it doesnt work for us, so what i've been doing is a breast per feed - LC said thats fine too. Ds has never indicated that he wants more, except the odd occasion where he then takes 5mins on the second breast and is off to lala land. Ive worked on the premise that 15mins and more is a 'full feed' and anything less is only a 'top up' and, i will start on that breast at the next feed. R Ds definitely prefers left breast over right. He latches well but its more painful and he spends less time at R breast. I got really good advice from plumie the other day about changing positions etc so ive been doing that. Thanks again kiwispiers x Neither of my two fed for more than 10 minutes and weren't ever interested in a second breast. I got so worried to start with that DD was a Snacker (shock horrror - BAD HABIT AHOY), but she wasn't... it was just a combination of her being an efficient feeder and me being an efficient provider... so she fed for 5-10minutes every 3 or 4 hours and clung to the 98th centile like there was no tomorrow! I always alternated breasts from one feed to the other. The guidance of set amounts of time per breast are just that - guidance. Some will need longer feeds - which is normal - and some will need shorter ones. The guidance is based on averages, after all, and few people are spot-on average. As for a full feed - with DD, I could tell, because my rock-hard melons would look like a 70-year old's (woah, not a nice fast-forward!), but with DS, they remained at what I consider a normal firmness throughout - never engorged, never flabby. Just goes to show, only bubs can really be the judge of a full feed!
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 21:48
Sorry to jump on the post bandwagon, but just wanted to ask HelloAgainKitty about the hypnobirthing thing. I'm not pregnant yet but we're starting to think about where & when (here or home) and am very keen to read up on anything that will put my mind at ease about labour! No problem! I only came to know about it quite late (like half way through my second pregnancy!), but reading the Mongan Method book, it just seemed to confirm in print how I already felt, so it wasn't like learning some weird theory and learning to believe it, so to speak. There were things in the book that I thought cheesy and I didn't really do the breathing, nor listen to the CD (some would argue that I didn't really do it properly at all then! lol), but when you break it down, it's just a way of thinking... or a way of approaching labour and birth that's been eroded in the last 75-odd years. In essence, it reaffirms that we are made for bringing babies into the world and gives you the confidence and tools to actually work with your labouring body, rather than resist it. Of course, some case studies will say they had a completely pain-free birth, which, unless they had, er, a down-below used to passing melon-sized objects, is imo utter tosh... and that's me saying that I had a relatively pain-free labour, but hey, there ain't no way the crowning of the baby's head isn't going to smart a bit! Anyhow, the point is, the hypnobirthing method won't guarantee a pain-free birth, nor a natural birth, but it gives you a positive perspective to feel in control of whatever situation may present itself and just take it in your stride. It's also a good philosophy to take with you through to breastfeeding - trusting your body enough to not question or interfere in what it's doing. Anyhow, so, yes, have a look online for it and read through it, even if you're not pregnant yet - or in early days. Every man and his dog will love to regale you with horror stories as soon as you announce you're pregnant, so it may be helpful to know that really, it doesn't have to be that way.
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 02:56
DS is going through an intermittent phase of biting for attention - which is slightly different than biting through anger, although they both share the same sense of frustration for the toddler. It all comes down to how you deal with it. Showing your in pain is a good way, but always tell him how best to express himself (as in "When you're angry, don't bite, say "Mummy, I'm angry!") and then get him to apologise... which is often the trickiest part! Your son's probably young for speaking, so you may want to think about signing. I taught DS the sign for sorry (and a few other things) so that even when he couldn't say the words, he could still express himself appropriately. Ho hum - they never told us about this kind of thing, did they?!
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 02:47
if you have relatives in the UK who are planning to come over around the time you give birth, get them to bring EVERYTHING you need. It's sooooooo much cheaper in the UK - as in 25-50% cheaper. Seriously, you'll be missing a trick if you buy in Dubai when you have the UK option. Hardware from Kiddicare.com, clothes from Tescos/Asda/Sainsbury's plus a few nice outfits from Boots/Mothercare (but people will always gift you nice outfits)... heck, I used to fill my suitcases up with wet-wipes (69p/pack vs 15aed for some decent ones(the Chub ones)), sugar-free (and now colourant free) medicines, teething powders... gosh. really EVERYTHING! As for labour, I'm apparently a bit of a freak because I loved it. Try to clear your mind of any expectations, relax and think of your birth plan not as an actual plan of action, but rather as a set of preferences or guidelines. I read up on hypnobirthing, which seemed to work for me, in that my labour was so pain-free (in relative terms) that I only needed a couple of paracetamols. Read up also on the pain-fear-tension cycle... but also don't research every minute detail too much... Work out how you feel about it all and don't listen to anyone who wants to surround you with negativity. At the end of the day, it's your pregnancy, your body and your labour - YOU are going to deliver your child and you are going to raise it in the best manner [i'>you[/i'> see fit. Have the confidence to forge you own path, trust your body and your instincts because they are rarely wrong! There, parenting in a nutshell. Job done! ;)
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 02:27
My first labour was 3.5 hours long from the first hint of a contraction to DD popping out. I was gearing up for one of those comedy labours - 20 minutes on the kitchen floor or something similar - but DS's ended up being 7.5 hours and far more relaxed. Both completely normal and natural. I just made sure that I had 2 on-call people to help out, day or night and a family member stayed with me for the 2 weeks running up to DH coming back from Dubai. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 28/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 28 January 2012 - 02:21
It was in a huge bottle like this! http://www.lakeland.co.uk/12323/Squeeze-Bottles Maybe it was Marie Rose sauce? Hmmmm, yummy! Seriously though, part of me wants to go off on one and save the world from stupidity, but right here, today, I'm just feeling in a "go for it guys - feed your kids junk, let them drink the equivalent of 13 spoonfuls of sugar and above all, just let them sit in front of the telly all day"... just as long as those parents are able to deal with the prospect of their children having a shorter life expectancy than they do... it's all just rosy! Earlier on today a friend posted "did you know that by the age of 12 a child will have seen an average of 8000 murders on screen (research Beckman, 1997)"... Aren't we doing a sterling job on the next generation?!
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Latest post on 25 January 2012 - 22:28
I used the booster chairs you clip on to your normal dining chairs - just lay a muslin underneath to protect the real upholstery! Regardless, don't ever attempt to feed your baby in a recline or even semi-recline position. Their gag reflex is very strong, but there's no need to add the challenge of gravity working against them!
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Latest post on 24 January 2012 - 14:54
I feel sorry for the teacher if she didn't understand the subtlety of "may I". My dad would always pick up on the "can I"/ "may I" difference when, say, we'd ask "can I get down from the table please? and he's respond "Yes, you can, but you may not until everyone's finished". Pedantic? Definitely - haha - but hey, you never know when manners will come in handy! I've now started asking DD "would you like to think about how you asked for that?" rather than "say please" parrot-fashion. It's good when people start thinking more about how they say things.... Don't let up. I would far, far rather stand out for all the right reasons than for all the wrong. If "you're too polite" is the worst insult someone can lob at someone, then bring it on!
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Latest post on 23 January 2012 - 15:22
I think when babies are fussy eaters it has sometimes come from situations where they have felt they are not in control, or frightened in regards to food, have been coerced or tricked into eating something when they weren't ready etc. So I've always tried to keep food very much on his terms as far as portions, flavours etc and people have always been amazed at the enthusiasm he shows towards food. ! Best bit of weaning advice you'll ever have, right there. ^^ Eat with your baby. Mealtimes are social events, not purely nutrition-insertion. That's why I've never "got" why people say "oh yes, distracting them really helps getting the food in" and stuff like that. There's also a fair amount of trust (as Kiwispiers says) and also respect - let your child tell you when they've had enough or when they want more, if they don't like something (not a reason to never offer it again though!) or if they love something... Try not to let your own thoughts about certain foods express themselves - if you wrinkle your nose at something, and yet still try to feed it to your child, what message are they getting?! Lastly, never assume that a child won't like X, Y or Z - you never know until they've tried it. I've always encouraged that curiosity, which has seen my two have smoked salmon, capers, olives, curry, garlic (raw - I did say, but DS was having none of it!) and all kinds of weird and wonderful things.
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 20:03
One of my friends went through something very, very similar to you, which meant that although she wanted to, she couldn't breastfeed. She tried, though, for 3 weeks, denying herself the care she needed in order to at least try to bf... her baby didn't put on any weight and she ended up with an infection so bad, she was hospitalised. Anyhow, what really matters is that your baby is being fed in the best possible way that's open to you. Everyone has to make a choice based on their circumstances and well, that's that. Try to be at peace with your decision and proud that you tried - many don't even go that far - and that in the end, you made a tough call and followed through with it. Every mother is judged at some point - if it's not how we choose to feed our children, it'll be on when we start weaning or potty-training, how we discipline, when and where we send them to school or nursery, whether we work, or not... and at the end of it, every man and his dog seems to think they know exactly how you should be raising your children, without either knowing you, or your child! Open season! However, [i'>if [/i'>you feel strongly about your baby getting breastmilk, then do look at https://www.facebook.com/HM4HBUAE who coordinate milk donation from or for any mum who wants it.
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 19:45
I started DD at 4 months and DS at 5.5 because that was when I felt they were both ready. I know the word is that milk should remain the main source of nutrition for infants up to 12 months, but I still have to smile when people talk about giving 1, 2 or 3 teaspoonful(s) of liquidy purée per meal - I started my two on solids because they were HUNGRY and 1 teaspoonful wasn't going to fill them up! DD had half an Ikea bowlful of thick babyrice for her first meal and I progressed her to purées within a week. By 6 months she was having chopped up normal meals, 3 times a day, with puddings and snacks. DS was a bit different, because on day 3 of weaning, I'd popped into the kitchen to get a banana and came back to find DD feeding him adult pasta with chill sauce, I broke out the ricecakes after that! Basically, constantly observe your child - this will dictate quantities, likes, thickness, etc... I never used a book to help because purées are just really quite simple. Use a bit of imagination. Make them in batches and freeze in ice-cube trays - that way you can vary the quantities for endless gloopy fun! The aim of the game is to get bubs eating your family's food so that you can share mealtimes together. If you eat apple and chicken goujons at home as a family, then fair enough (that's one of the AK recipes), but if you're more into curries, then get kiddo used to them instead! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 22/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 19:34
When I finally managed to lose my baby-weight, someone (who's very sweet actually) said "oh, but you look so pretty now [awww'>. Before you were very fat." [uh'> Anyhow, I don't think it's acceptable, but depending on how evil you're feeling, you could have some fun with the responses - "you look skeletal!" "yes, I know! You've got such a long way to go though still, haven't you?", etc... Not that I would condone that kind of tit-for-tat response. I guess I would rather point out that what they've said it just rude, pure and simple.
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 20:37
Its pretty normal to feel a bit lost at this point, I think it took me about 4-6 weeks to feel I really knew what I was doing. It sounds like things are falling into place for you, just give yourself some time. It was the same for my son - in fact, it was only after 6 weeks of a screaming baby that I realised I hadn't understood what he wanted at all in terms of getting to sleep... as for actually knowing what I was doing, well... my daughter's 4 and I'm still not sure! As sleep routines go, a variation on a theme of calming down (bath, massage, reading, cuddles), then a feed and then down to bed is a good place to start. I did book, boob (with a few minutes sitting up to allow for a rolling burp) and then bed. You might find that your baby wants a surprisingly early bedtime, but just roll with it, because if you have the routine set up, then actually, it doesn't matter if the actual by-the-clock time is tweaked at various points as your baby grows.
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 19:10
I just tend to wing it by cutting shapes out of puff pastry and doing mustard, pesto or cheese bites, BUT I did a wonderful one at Christmas which was just sooooo gorgeous! [url=http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/main-ingredient/cheese-/asparagus-feuilletes.html'>asparagus feuilletes[/url'> ("feuilletes" with the accent, so pronounced "ays" at the end. Got me using more of the dips as fillers too for other bite-sized pies - like there was one "something and ricotta", which I dolloped on and then sprinkled with chopped ham. Basically, you can't go wrong!
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 18:29
1. Depends on the baby! My MiL (retired neo-natal nurse) would burp bubs vigourously right after a feed, which certainly worked! 2. Feed, burp and bed. It's probably quite horrible to be woken up by gas once you've just nodded off! 3. Your LC is right - you can't spoil them and the idea of "manipulating" you in the grown-up, malicious sense of the word hasn't even entered their head. Actually, at 2 weeks old, babies still don't quite realise they are their own, independant selves - for them, you are so fundamentally necessary for their very survival that, well, they can't be without you. It's pure, hard survivial - no mummy = no food = I die. Yikes! The pat/shush method worked really well for me and my two - all the comfort but without the carrying! 4.That's great news about the bf. DS's initial latch always had me sucking in a sharp breath. I think it's how they create the vacuum (he had/ has got a very strong suck) that does it, because even when he had teeth, it was the same (certainly not more painful) 5. Try and just change the nappy as soon as you notice the poo, clean and dry the area and unless it's really red, just leave it. Some people smother their children in creams from and early age, but I prefer to hold off - they are mostly all petro-chemical-based, after all... but that's just me. You could use a bit of olive oil if you wanted an alternative. 6. Routine is different to schedule. Routines are a sequence of events (so the EASY (Eat - Activity - Sleep - You) routine from the baby whisperer, for example) that may or may not happen at certain times. Schedules are routines with fixed timings - which GF uses. Arguably each approach works, so it's just a case of finding one (or a mix of both) that works for your family. I'm not a schedule kind of person, but my two have a routine with certain crunch-points allocated to a specific time (meals and bed!). It's never too early to start, nor too late and you can go as easy or as firmly as you want. Helpful?! ;-p
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 14:09
The ones that go from 9 months/11kg to 11yrs are a type 1,2,3 carseat. They've very good (my two now have them), but I would hesitate to put a baby in one because they are more lightweight (read flimsy) that the Group 1,2 carseats that go up to 4 years. They are also far more upright, which is fine when your child rarely sleeps and has strong neck muscles, but not when it's head is likely to loll around asleep. I would really recommend you always buy the best car-seat you can afford. There are lots of "up to 4yrs" carseats secondhand - just make certain that it's never been in an accident, dropped, or taken on a plane (baggage handlers will have dropped it!).
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 02:03
OK, my friend looked to the diet (wheat and dairy especially), as well as avoiding allgergens in her own diet when she breastfed (which didn't have any effect apart from to make her unhappy, so she stopped... her diet, not breastfeeding!). She's looked into getting a water softener (a salt filter which all the water passes through) which apparently makes a difference and uses unperfumed, paraben-free shampoos and bubble baths as well as having tried the oats in the bathwater. However, the main thing that works for her little boy is to be smothered in copious amounts of emollient cream (E45, Cetraben, Aqueous cream or... can't remember the other main brand) several times a day to prevent a flare-up and then sadly to use hydrocortisone to calm the rash when it does happen. She's not overly happy about this, but her son's excema is all over and when it's bad, it makes you wince in sympathy, it looks so raw.
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 01:55
thank you so much ladies for your kind words, advices and for not taking me on a guilt trip (for not EBF) i started my DS on 1 formula bottle at night, and it's so much easy now. for the first 3 days he wasn't accepting the bottle, but on the 4th day somehow he latched. and he is totally fine with the breasfeeding and bottle. he is sleeping 2.5 - 3 hrs at a time. and i am getting some ME time now. Yay! Result! :)
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 01:49
Gosh, hun, I'm genuinely sorry to hear this. I lost mine naturally at 8 weeks and can remember how I felt - that realisation that something was going horrendously wrong and there was nothing I could do to stop it. There's no foolishness involved in being excited about a pregnancy - especially if you've not experienced an early miscarriage before. Don't worry about other mums' reactions. You owe them no explanation whatsoever. I think you're simply amazing in being able to talk and listen to your children's responses and from what you've written, there's some kind of therapy in that, some kind of peace to be found in articulating your feelings to them. Thinking of you... even though we've never met.
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Latest post on 20 January 2012 - 01:38
Gosh, England is hugely varied and it would take you a lifetime to see all that it has to offer! I'm down on the South Coast near Brighton, but we have the Downs (lovely rolling grassy and wooded hilsides with great walks and neolithic hill forts), steam railway, farms, Pick-your-own farms, Roman villas, medieval castles and houses, museums, theme parks, er... Brighton in all its glory, campsites, caravan sites, bed&Breakfasts, hotels, golf... and the good old British seaside. There are loads of other areas that have their own characteristics and special things to see and do. Think about whether you fancy seeing a city (Bath, Cambridge, Oxford, York, Edinburgh, London, Brighton - pick one!) or fancy a more country-side orientated break.... and then go from there. Don't try to cram in too much, so that you can really enjoy what you do see.
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Latest post on 19 January 2012 - 02:06
never heard of that and to be honest, wouldn't dip my kids in diluted bleach if you paid me. I will, however, ask one of my friends tomorrow who's son really suffers from excema and who has researched it [i'>a lot[/i'>. In the meantime, have you tried oats/ oatmeal in the bathwater?
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Latest post on 19 January 2012 - 02:02
Now my role has changed from the tired sick mother to the referee. When will this kids stop walloping each other? Argh! I think it never gets easier. We just get used to it. Lol! Snap! As for when [i'>that [/i'>stops... well, with my brother and I it was when we started living in separate countries. I was 19! We're bested buddies now though. :) DC - don't forget, "routine" is different to "schedule". You can have a perfectly good bf-ing relationship whilst having quite a strict routine (sequence of events), but GF advocates a schedule (actions tied to timings) and that is more difficult. One of my friends is GF to the core, and although we agree to disagree, she assured me that bf was possible on a schedule, as long as you pump in between feeds to pre-empt growth spurts. Sounds like waaaaaay too much hard work with 2 under 2!
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 19:39
I was a full-time juggler (why?!), but when I was doing it solo in the UK with DH in Dubai, I packed DD off to a childminder twice a week. Can't remember how long for... I think it started at 4 hours a day and then I upped it to a full day! It does really help with things like going shopping, because shopping with *only* a baby suddenly seems like a walk in the park! When we were all together in Dubai, I had a cleaner come in once a week to take care of that, but we lasted a full year before it was clear that DD and I needed a bit more time apart, so she started nursery - 5 mornings - when she was 3 (DS 15 months), this again just meant that I could slow things down a bit, but at the same time adds its own logistical fun - how exactly do you feed a todder at 13h and be out the door by 13h20 for pick-up, especially when said toddler is moving his naps back and would really like to sleep between 12h-14h! It was clear from an early age that DS liked clockwork timings and would sleep best in his cot, so whereas with DD, I would take her out and let her sleep when she liked, DS preferred to be settled at a specific time, so I gave him that and planned what I could of my day around him... which often worked well, because he'd happily sleep for 2 or 3 hours in his cot, but only 1h30 in the buggy, so cot = more peace for me = A Good Thing!
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 19:26
Slobber, no, Indian English is a mother-tongue language for many Indians; 'Filipino English' is shorthand for the type of English spoken by Tagalog speakers who have learned English as an additional language; there is a difference. There is no issue with wanting your child to learn your variant of English; the issue is with calling Indian English 'incorrect'; it isn't, it is just different (as with American/British/Australian/South African English). And if you are native speakers at home, I just don't believe your child will be handicapped by exposure to a different form of mother-tongue English for a time at school - any more than I was handicapped by speaking Scottish English at school and 'RP' English at home; I was quite capable of using more than one register, just as children exposed to more than one language grow up able to use both of them. Only ever got confused once; I thought 'outwith' was an English English word and had it struck through in a university essay - looked it up, found out it was Scottish, never used it in formal English again, no issue. I probably wouldn't send my children to a school where all the teachers spoke Indian English, any more than I would want to send them to a school where all the teachers spoke American English; but a year here or there just doesn't seem important. If you aren't native speakers, I think the type of English spoken by a teacher becomes much more of an issue as it is then the main English input. Exactly. I also think that if you've moved to a place where British English isn't the native tongue of the gross majority of the population (even if it's yours), then you have to learn to deal with the consequences of that choice. It's, er, simply not on to say "oh, yes, I want my children to be part of a multi-cultural society" in the same breath as saying "but I'm not happy them being taught English by foreigners". It also highlights the superficiality of the multiculturalism that Dubai offers - people will always tend silo into their own demographic and culture, which is easy in Dubai as there's no possibility of integration and actually little acceptance. Linguistically, variations in vocabulary are not "incorrect" as long as the person is still understood - that why new words can easily be invented: if I were to say "type-pad" instead of "key-board", you'd know exactly what it meant. "Tiffin box"/ "lunch box" / "snack box" - all synonyms.
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Latest post on 18 January 2012 - 02:39
such is the beauty of the English language - it allows itself to be adapted and evolves... Vocabulary widens and new words are created. "Hey, I messaged you!" for example... "to message" has become a verb, just as "to phone" has all but replaced "to call you on the telephone"... actually, I suppose that strictly speaking it should be "to call by telephone". I love and cringe at how great a store people set on "native English speakers" teaching their children English. Some native English speakers have beastly accents and wouldn't know a grammatically correct phrase if it came along and slapped them, whereas often second+ language speakers have the more textbook correct English, even though they have an accent. When I was at school in France, I was in the top 3 in the class in French even though I can't roll my rrrrrs. It was because I was more careful, because I took the time to really understand what I was saying and had had to work out how the language operated so that I could bend it to my purpose. Native speakers don't have to go through this exercise and that's a shame.
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 22:33
I was actually thinking the other day, I wish someone had told me to really embrace those spontaneous moments you can have when you are pregnant for the first time and have no children - you know, going to dinner or a movie whenever you want to, or jumping on a plane or in the car to go away for a weekend. I have been trying to think if there are any things we should be taking advantage of over the next few weeks that we can do with one child, that we won't be able to do with two.... apart from the obvious one-on-one time with DS.... I don't want to realise more missed opportunities after she has arrived! Sorry.. I have wandered off onto another topic entirely! That's actually exactly what i say to friends expecting their first! Leave off the shooping, cleaning and tidying - go out, like every night! Cinema, restaurants, lounge around for the whole day and lie in until midday... 'cos that time will be done until the moment you teach your child how to turn the telly on (age 2! Lol) I only wish we'd been able to travel more. We've travelled more with the kids than without - ironically - but you are limited by the child's concentration levels. We recently went to egypt with them, and whilst i would have loved to spend a day at the cairo museum, i just knew that it'd be pointless with 2 bored pre-schoolers... We did, however, run around the pyramids! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 17/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:30
What a shame HAK if they don't fit any longer...we bought a massive bag (Carrefour reusable whopper!!) full of second-hand Thomas trains, tracks, tunnels, bridges etc at a garage sale in Dubai. They all fit perfectly with our IKEA tracks. Yeah, we got a mahoosive mix of track and trains off dubizzle, including thomas ones and they all fit,mbut the Christmas ones don't quite.
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 20:29
Then DH walked in and asked if I'd mind if he played in a football tournament all day on Saturday. A true master of comic timing! I did find though that what really helped was a teensy bit of preparation and certain non-negotiable timings. Mealtimes were always crunch points, so i made sure there were toddler portions ready to microwave and perfected the 5-minute meal. Bedtime was absolutely Do Not Pass Go. DS at 18h30 and DD at 19h, come rain, shine, Dh or shenanigans. Anyhow, so i guess my days were actually quite regimented, although mornings and afternoons remained flexible to allow for naps, playdates and life in general!
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 19:20
My son cut back on his milk atabout 6 months old - dropped all his day feeds apart from morning and evening, and even they were halfhearted! He was purely bfed, and refused any milk in bottle or cup... In fact he only started drinking milk from a cup at about 18 months! Anyhow, as others have said, it's all now about managing his diet to suit this phase. It could just be a phase and cannot be attributed to starting solids early. Still try offering milk to drink and definitely cook with it - cheese sauces, yoghurts, porridge (proper porridge, not slop!) and also give him the healthy foods he asks for. I really do think our bodies let us know what they need to eat and small children haven't yet forgotten how to listen to their bodies! It is worrying when you're in the midst of it - DD used to drink too much milk and DS not enough... Little pickles! Needless to say, they're both happy and healthy.
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 17:42
Hey ho in for a penny in for a pound Lol :-) It really is very much a case of that... mine are 21 months apart and looking back, it was properly hardcore - I've never had a nanny and the first 3 months of DS's life, I was doing it solo in the UK. Quite how I didn't turn to drink amazes me. The theory that at least you pass from one to the other without "losing touch" or "getting used to having it easy" is good... in theory. Personally, I would have liked to have a break, because as it stands, I just feel as if I've had 4.5 years of nappies and tantrums. BUT, when I do call SAHMing a day, both kids will be at school (DS will be in the year below DD), so I won't have to deal with any possible guilt of leaving DS at a far younger age, etc... I don't know if there's a better or worse scenario. To be brutally honest, you deal with the hand you're given and that's pretty much that. Planning to have them super close together is nuts though. I have a friend who's expecting her 3rd and her eldest is 2.5, youngest 15 months (ish) and yes, 3rd due in a few months' time. I've told her I think she's a complete raving nutter, but she has lots of family nearby, a great support network and a hubby with a flexible job, so hey, she's a very lucky lady.
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 15:57
Well, you could say it's a process of constantly getting better (that's the positive outlook), but I'd say the cut-off of you looking back and actually saying "yes, it's definitely easier now" starts when your youngest has grown out of tantrums. DS is 2.5 now... and it's definitely getting easier. It'll be much easier in September... when DD starts school and she'll be 5! hahahaa haha ha ha [cough'> Seemed like a good idea at the time, didn't it?! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 17/01/2012</em>
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 03:23
when I went to Uni, coming from abroad, people would ask me where I was from because my accent was "too English and no one speaks like that"... darn you Radio 4! As long as you get the bases right, accents don't matter one jot, especially when you're young, because you adapt to fit in to your environment. It's all pretty basic survival instincts. Getting the bases right is the important part though - I would set far greater store on grammatical correctness than accent. Saying that, at the end of the ABC song, when DD tries to finish with "zeee", DH and/or I blurt out "ZED!" in our loudest pub-singing voices. It's a rubbish song anyway. DD also currently pronounces "aowgost" with a wonderful Spanish accent, bless her. That always makes me smile. However, if either of my two start speaking Estuary, I will personally lock them in the cupboard under the stairs with only Radio 4 for entertainment until they snap out of it.
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Latest post on 17 January 2012 - 03:13
Brio, Big Jig and the Ikea wooden sets are all compatible with each other, but the Thomas brand trains are subtly different (the axles are a couple of mm too narrow) - at least the current ones are. I think they think you'll buy just the Thomas brand of wooden rail track, which is just daft. Saying all that, my son (2.5) got a whole load of trains for Christmas, including Thomas ones and he quite happily pushes them around his track. They'd probably derail if they were battery powered, but DS likes to keep hold of his trains to move them!
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Latest post on 16 January 2012 - 20:25
it's about the risk of food poisoning, so take a common sense approach and ask yourself whether you've heard of anyone getting food poisoning from orange juice and make the call. I take a very relaxed approach to what should or shouldn't be eaten during pregnancy, but wouldn't presume to suggest that others should take risks they aren't comfortable with. It's all about weighing up the risk - listeria is the big one which can affect your unborn baby. I've never heard of listeria being found in OJ - it's more dairy products and products that may have been washed in contaminated water and not cooked (salads... but then again, there's more stuff that can contaminate salads than listeria! You probably wouldn't want to know!)