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Hello.Again.Kitty

Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 26 June 2011 - 11:32
Ahhh... savour the moment... I think it's happened less than 5 times in 4 years, and once you have 2, they will tag-team. This morning, DD slept until 8h (serious potential lie-in), but DS was still up at 7h15. :-(
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 26 June 2011 - 08:45
I'm sure you must be a lucky parent if you havent seen it. It is not an immediate reaction like a peanut alergy, but just as serious in terms of effect on the children who are sensitive. It is never just 1 minute drop. Add in all the other things at a typical Dubai party and the cheap lollies in the party bags and you have lift off.. I'll send DS1 over to you after his next party. You have to see it I guess. It is not that uncommon either and many parents just say 'he/she must be tired/grumpy'. Oh, and you seriously think that if anything is for sale in the shops here in Dubai it is ok? That's why I intercept the party bags before my kids get to them! I guess I must be rather lucky because my kids have never had fast food and actually won't touch it, even at parties... and no, they're no more tired after a party than after a particularly exciting playdate. Reactions to colouring has to be considered as part of a wide range of issues - and tbh, the poor OP only wanted to know how to get pink icing for a single cake. As long as she doesn't try to achieve a psychadelic shade of fushia, it's really not her problem that other parents may or may not feed their children additive-laden foods as part of their "normal" diet. If parents know/ think their child is sensitive to E-numbers, then it's up to them to control their child's diet - even at other people's parties. And no... I don't think stuff on sale here is particularly safe. That's my biggest bug-bear with the place. I get all my colourings, flavourings and cake sprinkles from the UK, which I feel I can trust, but if that fails, I would go for brands common in the UK that are available here (Dr Oetker/ Silverspoon), then American Brands (Foster Clarke's) and then and only then the more unknown (to me), namely Natco. I'd never go for the dodgy plastic tubs of yellow/red.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 23:00
Osteopaths use the same kind of principles as acupuncturists - putting pressure on key points to release tension/ energy. In babies/ toddlers, that tension can manifest is digestion and sleep problems... in adults it's all the aches and pains we get! It may be worth a try... you just never know! In fairness, from what you've said, it sounds like you're doing everything you can and it all sounds pretty normal. I'm guessing that the main bother is the fact that you have to (or "do") stay with him while he falls asleep... and you have better things to do! Have you tried just... not? My DD went through phases of wanting to fall asleep next to her, but after a while, I just had to go the tough love route and say "enough already". We also had a stairgate on her bedroom door - equally for her safety as for our sanity and will be doing the same for DS when we train him to go to sleep in his Big Bed.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 22:50
yup, but for the vast majority of people, one drop divided by however many portions of cake isn't going to cause a reaction. In fact - unlike peanut allergies - I have never heard of severe reactions to food colourings due to a single minute dose of the stuff... only certain research to suggest that prolonged and repeated ingestion *could* have an effect, along with other factors. Let's not make a mountain out of a molehill - it's one slice of birthday cake (and I am one for using natural colourings and flavourings whenever possible too!) These commercial colourings - as long as they are approved for sale in their country of origin - are, on the whole safe... just maybe not desirable in heavy doses.
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 21:04
beetroot would do it too!. In all honesty though, unless you want a deep colour, then a drop of artificial cochineal (readily available) isn't going to hurt. It's the deep/ vivid colours that need an incredible amount of added colouring. Oh yes, and by-the-by... you know those Red Velvet cupcakes? My (very good) recipe calls for *a whole bottle* of red colouring to make 12 cupcakes... after all, it takes a lot to override the cocoa-brown! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 25/06/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 20:56
Agree, HAK. But I was wondering about personal usage on average. Is it so much higher than in the rest of the world? As I mentioned, water costs per gallon here are about 20 times that of the highest in the US, but even still that does not account for the massive difference in DEWA payments ($225 at the highest in the US vs $1000 here). I don't think day-to-day personal usage is any different, but it is telling that invariably those with the really high bills are in villas. We're a family of 4 in a 2-bed apt and our DEWA bills (including the housing ta-, sorry, "fee") always come to 400-600aed per month, even now... which incidentally are on a par with my energy/water bills for my 3-bed semi in the UK. I think the big, big difference is in the gardens... it's a bit of a no-brainer that you have to pay [through the teeth in this case'> for the lush greenery... and if the costs are on a sliding scale, then those with the highest usage also pay the highest fees per unit, subsidising the rest. Also, not to be forgotten is that in apartments, we're piggy-backing off the building's A/C and the general construction and mass of the building keeps it cooler. Those in villas have to run their own A/C, which is invariably less efficient (there's less natural insulation and often more windows) and has higher running costs. Quite why architects and developpers here didn't choose a more location-appropriate villa layout (centralised around a courtyard with small external windows, for example) beggars belief... but then again, the target market wanted to buy into a mediterranean-but-hotter ideal... Unsustainable all round! <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 25/06/2011</em>
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 20:51
Thanks a lot both. DH found some first aid kit in his car and did a very good job covering the cut ( he had taken some previous training and knew what he was doing). bleeding seems to have slowed down a bit but if it doesn't stop completely we will definitely take her to Cedars or JA hospital. Phew I nearly had a heart attack :) thanks a lot :) even if the bleeding stops, she may still need stitches or at least a good clean to make sure no glass is in there - do take her in.
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 20:03
hmmm... it sounds as if it's a whole big battle and you - because you're at the end of your tether (and understandably) are trying to chop and change and impose things on him. I guess I'm refering to the "right, you're not allowed a nap now"/ "now you can have a nap" and the "wear him out completely" vs "stay at home to not tire him." First and foremost, even though it's aggravating, sometimes even the best sleepers take a while to settle down to sleep. My two can sometimes chatter and play for a couple of hours before drifting off, but they stay in their room, we don't turn the lights on, don't encourage them and generally leave tehm to it, but would pop in to calm them and remind them what they're actually meant to be doing if it gets too raucous. Secondly, there needs to be balance in his daytime activities - I know that I (and my children) start to get "cabin fever" and go a bit doolally if we don't get out of the apartment each day, but at the same time, if you're doing something active, it's important to have relaxation time too. Your bedtime routine should be an integral part of going to bed and so try to give the whole thing the same, relaxed feel. I know it's easier said than done, but if you're giving off stressed, angry vibes in preparation for the "fight" that you imagine/ know is coming, then kiddo will pick up on it and wham, out goes all the good work getting him nice and relaxed! I'd also suggest, Like MaidB, seeing an osteopath, which can help, and also looking to his diet - really carefully. make a diary of what he eats and when and then, if applicable, make some adjustments. Get everyone in your household to help you do this - you may find out that Daddy has been giving him a cheeky bedtime sweetie or that he's stoked full of fruit juice!
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Latest post on 25 June 2011 - 19:48
Are we using so much more electricity and water here? What accounts for the massive difference in costs? Well, being in the middle of a desert doesn't help. Having to irrigate everything you see that's green doesn't either... and one way or another, we have to also pay for the public irrigation... all those lovely parterres at the roadside? Doesn't come cheap! Seriously though, the UAE has one of the largest carbon footprints in the world because of it and the environmental index is the highest, I think. All the water we use is either desalinated of treated. The water your use to irrigate your gardens is desalinated, which is a very costly process. I have also heard that They are not actually recouping the costs of desalinisation - were they to do so, I'm sure we'd see less green around! So yes, we are using an unsustainable amount of water and electricity here - mainly to maintain a way of living that is unsustainable in this location. Harsh, but true.
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Latest post on 24 June 2011 - 23:40
basically... no, don't assume that breastfeeding is a proper form of contraception. I got my first period back 12 months PP with my first and at about 8 months with my second. If you go on a progesterone-only pill (the only kind that's compatible with bf, apart from the coil), then your periods may not return because it's a 28 day pill, so you just carry on taking them. I didn't have periods on Cerazette (but had constant PMT and other things) and then used Micronor, which I did end up having periods with. <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 24/06/2011</em>
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Latest post on 24 June 2011 - 23:23
just a little update - we had lunch at the buffet place there today and it was very nice. A small, but fresh and tasty selection (soup, 5 salads, cheese and cracker selection, mezze selection, 6-8 main course tureens and then 4 deserts) with soft drinks/ juices and tea/coffee included in the price - 90aed! Bargainous! Also popped into the bar to find out more about Ladies Night and basically, they don't know what the offer will be yet (gotta love soft openings!). The Grand Opening will be "September, ma'am"... when in September? "Yes, September!". So everything else will be open then... unless it's a soft Grand Opening!
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 19:49
mishmash and shelly, at around the 6 week stage were you doing a feed just before 7pm bedtime? Tonight his last feed started at 5.15 and went for about 35 mins (BF) and then he was up a bit and had a bath/massage, then quiet time and he was down by 7. Previously he's always had another feed just before bed...? I would always do a "dinnertime" feed (that then got transformed into solid dinner) and then another as part of the bedtime routine, so it was bath (sometimes), book, boob and bed! oo, I should maybe copyright that! lol I was soooo het up about Baaaaaad Habits with my first, but my mum turned round one day and simply said "there's not a bad habit in this world that can't be broken later on"... and remember that one person's "bad habit" isn't another's - co-sleeping is a case in point: some books/people suggest it's a fast track to all kinds of problems, whereas others have no issues with it at all. It all depends what suits you, your baby and your family. Tracy, Gina et al didn't write their books with you specifically in mind and most certainly won't be there with you at 2 in the morning!
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 19:05
heat was a big factor in DD's eczema, so try dressing bubs in very loose-fitting clothing. Unperfumed emolient creams such as Cetraben are great too at keeping it at bay. DD's and mine also responded really well to a homeopathic ointment that contained olive oil, chamomile and red clover. Fucidin is an anti-biotic, so would only appear to work on infected rashes. I don't think its prolonged use is any better than a hydrocortisone and you should always consult your doctor specifically with bubs in mind rather than self-medicating.
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 18:57
No, not Angel Delight (although Angel Delight and strawberries with sprinkles is disgustingly yummy!)... it's the "Dream Whip" type stuff, often with a picture of a perfect cream topped-cake on the front. It's pretty fake, and not something I'd usually buy, but I decided to try it and it's not half bad. As for the real cream, go for the British double!
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 18:41
as for the routine he used to sleep after 6:30 pm, but we started delaying his sleep time, so he won't walk up around 5 30 am..... Although in theory, that makes sense, in reality a child's sleep doesn't work that way. If he's ready to go to sleep at 18h30 but you don't let him, he will get too tired to have a restful sleep later on. Try following his sleep cues rather than trying to control them and maybe you will all have easier nights!
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 18:35
orrrrrr... if you're having trouble finding whipping cream (nb most of the UHT french brands don't whip well), you could use one of the instant whip cream topping things that you'll find near the jellies. Get the more expensive one and it's actually not that bad - same consistency and taste as Chantilly.
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 17:30
don't wake them - they need their sleep more than you need to follow a book. Both my two go to bed around 19h/19h30 and are up at around 7h. Since they're in the same room, there are sometimes playful shenanigans for up to a couple of hours after bedtime, but they stay in their room and *should* be going to sleep! Sometimes if they're really tired and are showing all the signs, they'll get an earlier bedtime, sometimes later and the same goes for the morning - sometimes they wake earlier (5h30 I think was the earliest), and occasionally later... but as someone else said, DD knows that if the sun isn't shining, it's not time to get up! (Going to have problems with that in the UK lol!) Lastly, as I said on a different thread, I personally don't think a dream feed does anything to extend a baby's sleep. Both my two (and most babies) have a natural feed at 23h (being 4 hours after their bedtime feed), so will generally wake up and feed anyway - a dream feed is just you getting to them first. Another 4 hours after that takes you to another very normal 3h-4h in the morning feed slot... and then another 4 hours until wake-up at 7h!
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 16:27
well, I just say to myself that when they do finally return to their home countries, they'll have a rude awakening and almost certainly put back in their rightful place. The irony would be that they have to take up a job at MacDonalds or something and get shouted at by a random dude.
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 15:38
Aquara in the Yacht Club has a seafood bias...
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 15:37
on another note, did you see that the fish and chip shop opposite from the Byblos hotel has closed down!! that didnt last long. shame as I loved their chips. It says under new management now, i wonder what it will be. Hope its a trendy coffee shop, we dont have any near us MaxinDubai - we must live in the same building! Anyhow, as for the Fish&Chip basket, it didn't last long in that incarnation - only what, less than 6 months ago it was "Saran - Mediterranean Grill", although I never saw anything grilling and their menu was a bit average. The did seem busier as a chippy, even during the day, so maybe this "New Management" is just a cunning ploy. Their food was nice though, if a tad salty for my personal taste, but not too salty.
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 10:29
Hands and feet being cold aren't a problem... even when they room's really cold - like 16-18 degrees. At 24 degrees, I dress my children in short sleeves and short legs and no sleeping bag, even from an early age (although they do have a blanket they can (and do) kick off. It's TWENTY FOUR DEGREES! That's UK summer! I can't say I've ever dressed then in a vest and then a long-sleeved onesie. One winter when it was really cold (14 degrees in DD's room) she was in a long-sleeved onesie, 2.5tog sleeping bag and an extra cellular blanket over the top... and she was snug. It's far, far better for a baby to be slightly too cold than too hot.
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Latest post on 23 June 2011 - 10:18
In the meantime, try to mitigate the damage - buy a security chain for your front door and balcony so that if he unlocks it, the door only opens a little bit. Unplug your phone at night (when there's no dial tone, they soon lose interest. Maybe switch off your telly too. In essence, try to make everything he finds fun, really really boring at night. It also sounds as if part of this behaviour is because he's over-tired. I think a 3 year old should be getting about 11h sleep in a 24h period. He's hyper because he's tired and constantly on a "second wind", even at night. If he's really not napping, then set "quiet time" at appropriate points during the day to help create a routine - channel his activity when he's active (I know, it's difficult at this time of year) and then calm it down (calm children's TV, reading, bath, playdoh...), then eat/ snack, active, relax, eat... Be aware of what he's eating, how he's eating (is it always frantic and on the go, or is it a family mealtime?) and what he's watching. Don't underestimate how much pre-schoolers are affected by what they watch, even if it's just on in the background and they don't seem to be paying attention to it. If he's being very cheeky (for want of a stronger word!), then vet what he's watching and basically censor it. I hope you manage to resolve it. I know how challenging they can be when they want to... and how much worse it all seems when you've had very little sleep!
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 18:57
I am a very proud Brit and yes if it came to we would defend our country. ;) It's just an interesting debate about what actually makes you (general) "proud to be British" (in this case) - is it because you were born there, grew up there... have a majority of Brit friends... feel part of the culture...
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 18:48
My children are 4th generation middle east expat brats but they are still 100% English And how did you ensure that they'd be British? They have British passports. My DH and I are British and so are they. Do you contribute to Britain or British culture or society in any way? Would you happily live in the UK... or send your children to fight for it if necessary? I would never willingly send my chilodren to fight in any war sure, but if we had to go to war to defend what being British is all about (thinking WWI/II conscription kind of thing - God forbid the need should arise)? I think that there'd be a good few fairweather British passport holders who'd be looking for an exit.
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 18:45
My children are 4th generation middle east expat brats but they are still 100% English And how did you ensure that they'd be British? They have British passports. My DH and I are British and so are they. Do you contribute to Britain or British culture or society in any way? Would you happily live in the UK... or send your children to fight for it if necessary? [sorry for sounding harsh - questions still valid, even though you've quantified'> <em>edited by Hello.Again.Kitty on 22/06/2011</em>
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 18:19
I think that 3rd or subsequent generation expats really should question their identity anyway. Why on earth should they be nationality X by right if neither they, nor their parents have ever lived in country X? In reality, they'd have very little to do with country X's culture, economy, politics... everything that is fundamental to being part of a nation. HAK the scenario is sadly far more complex than you are leading on. To all in general: The UNCRC ratified by all countries except the US and Somalia actually describes the right to nationality in articles 7 and 8 - thankfully it concerns ALL kids whether they were born to poor migrant families or to rich expat families. Article 7 You have the right to a legally registered name and nationality. You also have the right to know and, as far as possible, to be cared for by your parents. Article 8 Governments should respect children’s right to a name, a nationality and family ties. These are all so called "children at risk" - children who are marginalized by society one way or the other. Solutions are not simple - the lives of cross cultural children (inclusive of TCK's, adoptees, AIDS orphans, war orphans etc etc) is a highly complex situation. The attached article also look at the scenario from one view only - the official passport/document. Meanwhile there are massive sociological and cultural sides to the picture too. edited by Singapore Sling on 22/06/2011 Indeed it is... although maybe it isn't. Yes, everyone has the right to a nationality, but what criteria should be used? For someone to claim a certain nationality, just because one/both of their grandparents were that nationality, but chose to move away from their country of origin is tenuous to say the least. Not only would that person (assuming they've never lived in the country of origin, never been surrounded by the same original culture, never been involved in that country's politics, etc...) not have anything in common with his/her fellow nationals (and all the psychological issues that that would entail) but may actually feel more affinity to his/her host country. The UAE is a very particular place, in that expats are a majority and tbh, we can pretty much lead our normal lives without needing to know anything much about the local culture, let alone integrate with it. I think what gets me the most is that there's an unspoken point to this thread - the fact that some passports/ nationalities are more desirable than others (British for one) and that the prospect of losing that perceived perk is worrying for some. Some people will go to some extreme measures to get a British passport, even though their links to the country and culture are tenuous to say the least... Maybe the only real way forward is a personal ID, unaffiliated with country of origin. Who knows what the next 50 years of global mobility will bring.
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 17:25
I've heard that it is, but if you're concerned, or if you have any other things that are bothering you, just go straight to the Dr again. I wouldn't know, because the only internals I ever had ended in a very surprised face and the midwife declaring I was 10cm!
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 17:22
Maybe the pressure was too much right in the begining and now if she take to it she takes to it - if you know what i mean? Absolutely! You're now coming at it from the angle that she's already feeding well, has healthy weight gain and now this opportunity has just popped up - if it works out, so much the better, but if it doesn't, you will have had a lovely relaxing afternoon together, which is not to be sniffed at either. Have fun!
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 12:46
gosh - wow! To be honest, if you want to give her your milk or try breastfeeding again, then don't ask why, just try! The best stimulation for your milk is your own baby, so why not have a no-pressure skin to skin session on your bed and let her try it out. You might be surprised at how she knows what to do... or might not, but there's no pressure to perform. If things go well, then try switching to breastfeeding and only top up with formula if she gives you the right cues. Don't worry about how much you used to get by expressing - pumping just doesn't work for some people - never did with me. To give you an idea, I would usually only get max 3oz out of one session on both breasts... one day I pumped with DS on the other breast and he created the let down - in less than a minute the bottle was about to overflow! See how it goes. Direct feeding is definitely easier!
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 12:31
I think that 3rd or subsequent generation expats really should question their identity anyway. Why on earth should they be nationality X by right if neither they, nor their parents have ever lived in country X? In reality, they'd have very little to do with country X's culture, economy, politics... everything that is fundamental to being part of a nation. 6 generations ago, my family moved to the UK from Germany. Would it be appropriate for me to go and claim German nationality on the back of that? Been there a couple of times and "did" German at school, but that's about as far as my connection goes. I also think it's something that the concerned parties need to deal with if and when it becomes an issue. We can only do what's necessary at the time, rather than try to guess at convoluted scenarios. Who knows if the person's nationality (or rather the passport) will be so desirable in 50 or 75 years' time? Maybe the other parent's nationality will trump the other, so it won't matter...
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 11:05
I just feel awful for not sticking up for them (well actually I've tried but when she told me to s**t up and storm off I just didn't do anything). I think that when someone's so far gone as to launch into a tirade like that, the best we can do is intervene to deflect it from whoever's most vulnerable. Yes, invariably you'll get an earful too, but you'd be in a better position to deal with it. Horrible situation. Horrible woman. She's going to have a rude awakening when she moves away from Dubai!
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 10:49
if she sleeps 6 hour stretches and goes down at 19h30, that would mean a natural 01h feed (the worst time of the morning imo, but still!) and then she would sleep another 6 hours until 7h. In theory. Maybe it's the dreamfeed that's knocking her sleep-cycle earlier? Apart from that, it seems pretty normal (apart from the "only one night feed" part - grrr, lucky thing!), and if you're happy with it, then that's that.
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Latest post on 22 June 2011 - 10:22
Yup... yet another "soft opening". Popped in on their opening nights (18th) and there were a surprising number of people in their "English Pub" (Olde Worlde beams still smelling of fresh paint! lol). They have Ladies night on a Wednesday, pool competitions and the footie will be shown live apparently. Buffet currently priced at 70 for brekkie and 99 for lunch/ dinner... haven't tried that yet... There are apparently going to be a number of "concept restaurants" (/yawn) opening in the next few months - a korean one and a russian one, along with a shisha place. I do, however, feel sorry for whoever wants to use the pool. It's an infinity pool up on the roof (not sure I'd want a seemingly unimpeded 12 story drop) overlooking SZR and with the hum of the A/C chillers in the not-so background. Staff were lovely though.
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Latest post on 21 June 2011 - 16:14
hehe - don't forget that by the time his brother ones along, he will have matured accordingly. I've got a 21 month age gap between my two and it was properly hard-core... now, seeing friends have their second when the eldest is 3, they have it soooooo much easier. We never planned to have DS - our aim was a 3 year gap, but Nature thought otherwise. It's only now (DS is 2 next week - yay!) that it's actually getting easier. BUT, and I have to be brutally honest here, to have a second, you need to change your mindset about your first. They will have to adapt and that's that - you have to be quite hard about it, otherwise you'll find that they still take up 90% of your attention to the detriment of your newborn. I have such severe "2nd child guilt" because I haven't done half the things with DS that I used to do with DD... and I was careful about weaning her off everything at her demand from about 7 months pregnant. BUT, saying all that... don't worry about it. You'll cross every bridge as you come to it.
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Latest post on 21 June 2011 - 16:06
you ladies take your time to train your babies. We did that around his first birthday. the only sign i needed beside that he sits down, is that he can say peeeee, pooooo ,or any other sound that I can assign to the process. he needed 3 days and never put a diaper on again. it just goes to show that every baby is different. I count "toilet trained" as kiddo being able to go all by itself, not me chasing after it with a potty or instigating anything. I read the Gina Ford book and a good few others. Ha ha bloomin' ha! DD showed all the signs (apparently) at 26 months but would not be told (/sigh). We started again in earnest at 30 months and it took over a year for her to be consistently dry day and night and to self-toilet - and I pulled out all the tricks there were!
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Latest post on 21 June 2011 - 08:55
what do you do when she wakes up at night? Whatever you do, don't turn on the light or engage with her (beyond a few murmured words as you feed her)... Anyhow, one sign of being overtired is actually sleeping less, but I'd say that, whilst all babies are different, 6 hours at night and nothing during the day at 5.5 months is a bit light! Have you tried actually charting all her sleep, plotting it on a timetable over the course of a week so you can identify any patterns? I did this with block colours (green for happy and awake, red for grumpy, blue for sleeping, purple for feeding) and coloured in 15 minute blocks as the day went by.
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Latest post on 21 June 2011 - 08:50
Yes... they all try, at least! I found the trick is to watch the cue and as soon as they have that pickle glint in their eye, they reach out to do mischief and hop, i[i'>ntervention[/i'> in the form of "oh, so you've finished! [removes plate'>!
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Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 12:47
DH knows better than to say something so stupid and insensitive like that, but if he did, he'd be told where to go in a manner I dare not repeat! Seriously though, it's actually very common for couples - even in strong relationships - to have a rocky time after the birth of a baby (especially the first) because everyone is getting used to their new roles and the new focus. You may find that there are some very strong emotions at play - jealousy (of your relationship with the baby), anger (about either party not understanding how difficult "it" is), guilt, low confidence (translating into guilt or anger)... The best and only thing to do is talk opening and regularly about how you are both feeling. It's so easy to get caught up in being parents that you forget completely that you're also a couple. His comment about your size may "just" (nothing's "just" post-partum!) be a nasty, childish dig at the fact that you're no longer exclusively his object of desire. Ultimately, he's got to come to terms with it (can't put bubs back and pretend it never happened!), but you both have to manage expectations (9 months on, 9 months off) and make sure the problem doesn't get worse (the problem isn't your size - it's the psychological element of being a couple). I hope this makes sense.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 12:34
Both my two were on my tummy and/or breastfeeding within seconds of being born (well, for DD, they took her off while I caught my breath, but for DS, I virtually caught him and whisked him up for a cuddle straight away). Can't remember how long each one was on for, because it was just so relaxed - they fed, we cuddled, they got passed around a bit, I cuddled them some more... DS poo'd on my chest, so that was the cue to wrap him up! lol Neither of them had any issues feeding (quite the opposite!), but I think DS's latch wasn't quite as good as DD's. They never got any formula top up and I was so rubbish at expressing that I never really even questioned the content of my milk or how much they were getting - despite my very knowledgeable retired SCBU-nurse MiL knowing exactly how many ml they should be getting! We analyse far too much sometimes.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 12:19
yeah... take a ticket! Lots and lots of people are never going to be paid by Nahkeel.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 12:17
Hehe - a few years back (pre-kids), M&S told me I was a 38B... went and got properly measured and wow... 34D! I don't even bother looking for my size here any more. Still, not quite as bad as in a shoe shop in the UK where I'd asked for a size 5.5 (very exact) and the bloke came back saying "sorry, but we only have a 4 or a 7. Would you like to try them on?" :\:
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 20:57
Forget breastfeeding, if men had to give birth the human race would have dies out long ago:) Seriously though, and get ready for a mega rant; I think BF has become hard because society has gotten in the way. Think about it, you are primitive woman, you grow up in a village where pretty much all the women are breastfeeding, all the the time. Your mum your 10 sisters ;), your friends all have babies on the boob. They don't hide under covers, in spare bedrooms, or toielts to feed their babies, they just do it whenever, wherever. You're not thinking of SIDs, your baby sleeps with you at night, all night and you don't count the number of feeds because you barely wake up for them anyway. You are certainly not getting up at 4am to fit in a trip to the gym to lose your baby weight. Fast-forward to nearly present day, men have decided to get involved, they quite like the look of their wives' boobs, don't want a baby ruining them (and say so out loud) then some clever fellow invents formula and declares that its much better for babies, so only a very selfish mother would breastfeed. Having taken half the babies off the boob, they have to figure out how often to feed the little critters, and more men with their mathematical formulas become involved. The four hourly routine is invented and any of those non-progressive women still breast-feeding are advised to follow it too, whats that, can't letdown enough per feeding,, thats what formula is for. Women give birth and their baby is no sooner extracted than taken to a nursery, given a pacifier when it cries for mum and offered a bottle. Women are discharged with already faltering supplies and full of self doubt but never fear, formula is readily available. Fast forward again to our generation, half our mothers didn't successfully breast-feed so they can't help, and those of us who were breast-fed now live miles away from any family who might remember how to help us anyway. When our baby cries we don't whip them to the boob, we look at the clock and give them the dummy. Everybody knows a good mother will manage to get her baby sleeping through the night from early on and please, whipping out a boob in public, how obnoxious can you get. Women struggle, but don't talk about it, if you loved your baby breastfeeding would come naturally right?. Meanwhile governments spend millions of dollars on complains that boil down to "breast is best" and all the while more and more women cry into their pillow each night. aargh! All we can do is be there for each other, learn from our (and others) mistakes and do the best we can. Talk about breastfeeding, breastfeed in public, reach out and help or be helped. And most importantly, lets not judge each other, your success as a mother is not dependent on your ability to breastfeed. I think I love you! Seriously though - you forgot one important element to the "before" - [b'>scales[/b'>. Your "before" scenario didn't involve precision weigh-ins, subsequent comparisons and bl00dy charts. Bubs is doing fine, looking well and lively = all is well. Full stop.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 16:58
Don't keep her up just so DH can see her, DS is always asleep when DH gets home, they have their quality time in the morning and weekends. I used to keep him up but realized it wasn't healthy, lack of sleep is like lack of food. yes, absolutely agree. Plus there's absolutely no joy if that extra hour or whatever is full of screams and means a ratty child during the day.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 16:56
ach, I have the same issue with motherhood in general... but hey, can't put them back now.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 12:04
However, if you are really round, it would be better to have one even if not near 28 weeks, as they can refuse to carry you without it if they doubt you....not much fun at check in and I was even questioned at the boarding gate. I wasn't questioned at check-in at all, but asked at the boarding gate for a certificate (I was 27+6 - hehe - and thankfully had one just in case). It's at the gate that they'll make the call - not a fun prospect, if, as I was, you're flying with a toddler!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 12:01
I'm one of the ones who doesn't set great store by dreamfeeding. Both my two would have a natural feed at around 23h and then went on to drop it, so had I been dreamfeeding, I would have been giving myself extra work! If you're happy with the current routine, then stick to it. If bubs isn't responding to the dreamfeed cues, then don't push it. At the end of the day, if bubs is really hungry at night, s/he will wake up regardless. If the dreamfeed happens to be at a hungry point anyway, then you're only saving yourself the few minutes before bubs wakes naturally to tell you and, more importantly imo, it won't stop bubs waking for a feed further on in the night (so if bubs is on 4-hourly, then feed at 19h, feed at 23h (dreamfeed or not) and then feed at approx 3h (urgh), then wake at 7h.)
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 19 June 2011 - 11:27
I agree with Guinness - from experience, the earlier you start potty training, the longer the process is, and they all pretty much end up potty trained (completely) at 3 years old, so don't beat yourself up about a regression. I started DD at 21 months and it took 16 months for her to be independently toilet-trained - she's very bright and knew exactly what she needed to do, right from the start, but wouldn't... or rather, had to go through the process of deciding for herself to do it, and not just coerced by me (or anyone else). /sigh. For DS, I'm going to leave it until he asks me to pass him some loo paper! As a mum to a very, very strong-willed daughter (who started the full-blown 45 minute tantrums at 13 months old), my advice is to pick your battles. They desperately need/ want to be independent, and it's not up to us to control them, but to channel them, setting them appropriate boundaries but also letting them learn - often the hard way. Life is about compromise, and the sooner they learn that, the better. The case of the bath, for example - unless she's filthy, suggest the compromise of just doing her body and not her hair, or using a wet flannel instead of the normal full-on bath. Compromising isn't giving in to her demands - it's finding a middle-ground where everyone is happy. Tiredness and hunger play a huge part in their overall mood... as does your mood. I know that on days where I'm slightly less than the epitome of patience and tranquillity, Her Ladyship knows and will push me that little bit further. Lastly, and this is something that took me literally 2 years of spectacular tantrums to work out - when they say "just ignore her", yes, you should... but you should ignore the tantrum/ behaviour and not the child. Tantrums are always the expression of something that's upsetting/ troubling them. Yes, it may be motivated by something completely loony and aggravated by sheer stubbornness, but it's essentially the frustration of you not understanding what they're trying to say. Show that you understand what they wanted to communicate early on before they've lost control and you will almost certainly avoid the screaming.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 17 June 2011 - 23:23
Have you tried H&M here? They have a surprisingly nice (and large) selection of maternity and nursing stuff.
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 17 June 2011 - 21:01
am actually surprised i got one as am in the UK and was panicking that the would leave me until 42 weeks so was shocked when they said they where going to do it. Babys head has been engaged and down since 34 weeks so dont know if that has something to do with it. but yeah heres to an uncomplicated easy birth when it happens :) hehe - lol, where's that my comment blown out of the water! I had to ask really nicely to get mine at 40+3!
Hello.Again.Kitty
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Latest post on 17 June 2011 - 20:45
Thanks H.A.K bubs is still very active :) will give the midwives a call tomorrow have a 2nd sweep booked for next thursday hopefully I go before then! :D I just can't get over how early they feel the need to do sweeps here. It seems they consider the baby should be out as soon as it hits 38 weeks! They only need to have made a bit of a mistake estimating the due date and hop, there's a bubs who's strictly speaking premature. I'm just generalising here - it's very much a comment about the medical profession advising mums than the mums themselves. Fingers crossed that you'll have a swift and easy labour!
 
 
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