Tara.k | ExpatWoman.com
 

Tara.k

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Latest post on 05 May 2013 - 22:07
Hello, Thinking of taking my sister, who is visiting, to the Gold Souk tomorrow. I have never been. Have you got any tips for me? :-) What are the best quality shops to visit? Is there any risk of getting sold bogus gems, or is it all the real deal? Emeralds, rubies- all real? Please advise- thanks!!
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Latest post on 26 April 2013 - 09:50
I use it but have never had to use it on a long flight. For some reason my kids sleep most of the flight and then watch movies non-stop. It helps if you dont let them watch any tv for at least two weeks before the flight so that they really look forward to watching some cartoons! Lol! My kids are 3 and 5 yrs old. Thanks for the tip!! How long have yo been using 1-2-3 magic?? Have you found it effective?
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Latest post on 26 April 2013 - 08:14
Hello- Trying to prepare (mentally) for our flight to NY, in June. I will be traveling alone with my 3 boys ages 6.5, 4.5+, and (will be) almost 9 months. We are at the beginning of starting the 1-2-3 Magic program for discipline (older 2 boys). Anyone use this with their kids and have success? Ever implement it on a loooooong flight? Thanks! :-)
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Latest post on 25 April 2013 - 08:40
My maid was just at the Philapino Embassy yesterday to register to vote for an upcoming election. She said that she asked an embassy employee if the sponsor of a maid who works part time could get in trouble if that maid is caught. The embassy worker told her that the sponsor will not get into trouble- just the maid and the family that had he working part time. ??? What is the truth??? Does the embassy itself, not even have a clue?? Wouldn't be a surprise...!
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 21:47
Pretty sure I saw them at Motor City Spinneys, in the cookie aisle.
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 21:32
I don't have a maid, so it's just an idea. To Safeguard you as a sponsor could you have some kind of document drawn up stating that under no circumstances isyour maid allowed to do part time work and if found to do so, she is liable for all fines etc. Might not be worth the paper it's written on, but just an idea - shame there is no official form to state that. It's a good idea in theory. But generally expats are the ones using these types of maids. So if an expat is fined, they take away their passport until the fine is paid off. As I said before, the onus is totally on the employer... AnonDubai- who's passport gets taken away, if the maid is caught? The sponsors??
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 13:12
Tara K, you seem really unhappy with your maid. Why don't you see if another family would want to hire her? Just be honest about her faults. It doesn't sound like she is horrible but she is just not working out for you. If not, you could always send her home without a ban and then she would be free to come back here immediately. Thanks Anon. What else would we be responsible for? Fines for ending contract early? How much is it to cancel a visa? I am trying to decide if I can deal with it till January. We will be gone over the summer, so I was hoping that a "break" would help me to feel better about it all. However, that opens up a whole other can of worms, us being responsible for her , while we are away and she is here...
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 13:05
LOL Tara....no worries! I actually have a really good house keeper and still get annoyed...I think its just having an extra person in the house. Feel free to vent all you want :))) Thanks ;-) I think that, I too, probably have what might be considered a "good maid". I either need to move on without her, or just figure out a way to deal with it over the next 8 months...
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 12:31
How did it go, Gwinzar??
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 11:51
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry Hebahj- I completely hijacked your thread!!! I got carried away, clearly!!!
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 11:49
Tara.k, I think you have to take a hard line - explain to the maid that you wouldn't mind, but it is illegal, and the consequences are dire for both the maid and you. Tell your maid that if you find out that she is working elsewhere part-time, illegally, you will immediately deport and put a ban on her without question. Hark at me, I've clearly learned at Servants' Quarters' knees :) Never sponsored a maid in my life :) edited by simpleasabc on 23/04/2013 Good advice, but just like Snow White said- deaf ears. Honestly, I'm getting' over this maid thing real quick. We've had ours since last September and it has gotten to the point where I am totally annoyed by her every day. She refuses to listen. She does a lousy job at washing dishes, vacuuming, laundry, and following instructions on how I want things done. she will do what Ive asked for a day or too, then it's back to her way. She has melted many of my kitchen tools that I have had for years. I got so tired of her ruining clothes and table cloths that I now do the laundry. I am close to taking over kitchen/ cooking duties because I have caught her many times not being hygienic while handling food that my family is going to eat, and she can't even wash dishes properly!??! I am constantly getting containers out of the cabinet that smell, have food on them- I even found moldy containers in the cabinet! Honestly, if I have to keep taking away jobs from her, what is the point???! I am constantly reminding her and I'm sick of it. I am very suspicious of her working out side of the home. But again, how do I stop her??? We are leaving for holiday this summer and although I wanted to send her home during that time, she literally cried about how she doesn't want to go, and told me she would work here! What do I do?? To further complicate, although we started the visa process last September, it was not finalized until this past January- the date on the contract. It was through no fault of our own that it took so long. We had my husbands employer involved as well as our relocation company and landlord, all trying to get the correct paperwork that was needed after new laws went into effect. A large paper trail, in our defense. So, instead of being able to not renew with her in sept., we have to wait until even longer or pay fines, I guess. But I have learned: NEVER will we sponsor a maid again!!! And please, before anyone jumps to this maids or any maids defense- I have heard plenty of stories from her about maids she knows and what they get away with. Even stories of things that she did at her last employers, that if I knew she did here... Well, I guess I'm answering my own question... But I am still interested in knowing how sponsors keep maids from working part time gigs...
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Latest post on 23 April 2013 - 10:41
What can a sponsor do to prevent their live-in maid from working part-time jobs, on their days off? Furthermore, what can a sponsor do to prevent their maid from working part-time jobs, while the sponsor is on Holiday for almost 2 months over the summer??? I wouldn't mind her working extra jobs, if it weren't against the law, and it puts us in to a terribly risky situation. I am not willing to pay a sizable fine for my maid. Personally, I think the fines should be put upon the maids that are taking these risks. But honestly, what can a sponsor do to prevent this?? I would really be interested in knowing!!
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Latest post on 16 April 2013 - 16:22
Thanks Ladies. I have the air-con on in my bedroom I just dont want to have it on in the babies room. Beany, where did you buy your combination humidifier and air filter? I only have a vest on them at night and when i go into check on them they are very hot and hair stuck to their heads they are sweating that much.... I will go invest in a humidifier and see if this helps at al.... I'm curious: why do you have the AC running in your bedroom, but not your children's??
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Latest post on 16 April 2013 - 16:19
Not sure a humidifier is the way to go here. There is sand and mold in the air ducts and filters. If you add more humidity to the air in your home, you will increase the chance for mold spores. We have had our air ducts cleaned and sanitized 3 times in less than 2 years of living here. Each time, the photos that they take of the ducts prior to cleaning is absolutely revolting. I would be less concerned about the a/c air running all night, and more concerned about the allergens including mold spores that your kids are no doubt breathing. Talk to an Asthma/ Allergy Specialist about it. A terrific one here is Dr. Loubser. But in the meantime, put the AC on in your babies rooms. They are waking up crying because they are uncomfortable. Is so simple- put the AC on. (!)
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 21:02
If you cannot find it, try baking soda. And for the really tough spots, sprinkle baking soda and then add white vinegar to it. :-)
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 20:47
Whether it is, "just a curtain" or "crumpling" a plastic bag, the simple fact is that is bothersome and annoying. Minimizing it by one's own standards doesn't make it any less irritating. Having help in the home should be helpful, not a whole list of negative adjectives. When I find myself negatively bashing my maid for things happening around my house, I simply ask myself one question, "Am I better off without her?" And until I can answer that question with a rock solid, "Yes", I will continue to grind my teeth and tolerate things I find frustrating. Many of us can empathize (me included). Sharing our home is very difficult but, obviously not difficult enough YET for me to do it alone again. Someday soon though for CERTAIN. I say, ENCORE to Encore! ;-) Sorry, couldn't help myself... ;-) I totally agree with you.
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 13:48
i'm sorry but being annoyed at your maid rustling plastic bags is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen on here... What can I say, I'm funny. ;-)
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 13:03
Trust me, this is my third and I vacuumed and did all that I could during nap time! And my 3rd has 2 noisy brothers that certainly don't keep quiet. I don't know, this one is a light sleeper- what can I say?.? You know these tiled homes with high ceilings- noises seem to amplify up our stairwell. Don't judge... Just a snippet... ;-)
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:58
Some things were minor but others not. Her hair was long and I'd find it in our food or my youngest sons purees. That aggravated me to no end since I tie my hair when entering the kitchen, so I'd expect her to do the same, she kept avoiding the hair net. On the phone she asked if she'd have a day off, I said yes but not weekend because that's the only time I have to see my family. Upon arrival even before I had her residency she kept asking for her day off. When I finally gave it to her I said she can pick a weekday and leave early morning and be back by afternoon. She insisted she wants weekend. I bent over backwards to give her the Saturday from 8 am till 6 pm. She said she wants more, so I said 8 pm she said no, she wants 24 hrs, and if not then she wants to leave! I said that she's to allowed to spend the night out and that it's also for here safety. After that things just net bad, she'd lock her bedroom door when going out ( the iron is in her room) she had said that we don't give her enough food! Anyway, i think she thought I'm desperate and won't dare cancel herr visa, SOS when I did she was apologizing and regretting it. Sometimes they don't understand what we say and I don't units and her when she speaks and that can cause major issues! Good luck with yours, what's happening there? That's disgusting about the hair... I have told ours to wash her hands with soap before handling food. She doesn't. Last week, she was ripping the stems off of the spinach for our salad (I never told her to do this- I actually hate her handling every single piece of spinach!!), and touching her mouth and face. I told her to please wash her hands because she's touching our food. She rinsed with water, so I said to do it with soap! She looked lost. It's really so much to mention and alot of people like to jump in and judge on this forum without knowing the full details... Good luck to you though! :-)
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:51
gosh ...now two reminders why I feel sorry for the maids here...... Don't feel too sorry for my maid. She has off and leaves the house every night and on the weekend, etc.,. She has told me before that she "thanks God" she is employed by us. Again, don't judge others based on snippets...
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:44
Seriously its a curtain, if it was so precious you should have instructed the maid how to handle it at the start. She did not do it to be malicious so why go on about what you have given her, who cares. It was an accident and i doubt it happened from one time. I think this is a complete over reaction tbh. Why should she be afraid of you? All you have to do is speak in a civilised tone and show her what you want, she's not a mind reader she is a human being. How could she have know that she needs to talk about a curtain to the maid?? Just like, at the beginning I had no idea that my maid would put a color table cloth in with the bleach wash. How was I to know?? Had I gone over how to do laundry? Of course! Now, I do my own laundry.
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:41
have a weekly cleaner from a company she is nice bless her, but each time I'm also being nice something happens to remind me who I'm dealing with. so i gave her a big bag of clothes i no longer use. she was very happy, i was happy too to have helped this woman who has her fam back home, educated people she says, yet she is here cleaning people's houses. than i go back home and find my living room curtain all damaged. why? because when she cleans she wraps it up and its a delicate curtain so the fibers in the middle got all damaged. i paid a lot of money for that curtain, money for while i work long hours. and her stupidity now is costing me. worst of all, i looked for months until i found this curtain, so I'm pretty sure i won't find it again, nor would I want to pay a thousand AED for a few meters of material I'm just annoyed and it makes me want to be strict, borderline rude, so she is afraid of me and of the thought of being deported or losing her salary...and i don't want to be like that I don't know what the answer is , except perhaps find a new maid. However, I'm sure you will have similar issues. I have written things down, shown her how to do things, reminded her repeatedly of things and she still. Doesn't. Get. It. Her excuses are that she doesn't remember, and one time she said it was because she is "stubborn"- thats why she does things her way. I have 3 children, including a 6 month old. This woman is constantly making noises that wake up my baby when he is napping. Of course I've told her (many times before), to be quiet and not make noise when the baby is asleep. Even as I type this, she is walking around crinkling plastic bags while my baby is asleep! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhg!!!! Every day, I feel my blood boil. This is not what I had hoped having "help" would be. Before anyone jumps down my throat about how it must be me as the employer, just keep in mind this is only a snippet into my life and situation...
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:20
I finally had the maids visa cancelled after weeks of bickering with her because every time I'd give an inch shed want a mile. Anyway, I was on the verge of giving herr another chance because I didn't want her going back to the agency and ending up with a family that may not give her simple rights that make life slightly easier as a maid (phone, day off...) but she was so proud all the way until I finally canceled her visa and then she decides to apologize! I've lost a lot of money here so this wasn't easy for me either, why couldn't she just say she wants another chance today morning when I asked her??? I'm soo sad for her now because I don't know where she will end up. She saw me for a pushover and she used that until I couldn't take it anymore. But now m sad for her :( May I ask what sort of things she was doing that you had enough of? I'm just curious as I am experiencing maid issues, as well. :-/ It's as though you trade one issue for another....
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Latest post on 15 April 2013 - 12:17
It's done!!! Round trip ticket from Cleveland, Ohio USA to Dubai! Seems to good to be true! Now, my lil' sis' gets to see Dubai, and her newest Nephew! :-) May i ask how many points it took to get a US return ticket. Also is it the whole ticket price or do you still pay for taxes etc? Tia. It took about 357,000 miles for a round trip ticket. No taxes, no money owed. Dare I say, FREE! Seems too good to be true! All just for swiping my airmiles card at Spinneys- the seemingly only place that accepts it. Good thing groceries are so expensive here! ;-)
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Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 22:03
It's done!!! Round trip ticket from Cleveland, Ohio USA to Dubai! Seems to good to be true! Now, my lil' sis' gets to see Dubai, and her newest Nephew! :-)
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Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 14:21
@Tara - I lived in Sherman - what a small, small world! Ha! We went a few times to that little restaurant with a ton of pies to choose from... What's it called??
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Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 12:04
Has anyone actually gotten flight tix this way??
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Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 11:52
Thanks ladies!!! I'm gonna try that number, but if I go there in person, I might make a scene! ;-)
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Latest post on 14 April 2013 - 11:50
We lived in Brookfield, CT for 3 years prior to moving to Dubai almost 2 years ago. I really miss it. Made really nice friends there. We still have our home there, and I hope to get back! :-/
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Latest post on 20 March 2013 - 21:41
:-( Sorry cant offer help. But best wishes for good health your way...
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Latest post on 20 March 2013 - 21:09
The mask, MrsB is the brand Himalaya Herbals, Purifying Neem Mask. It is awesome. You can get it at Spinneys or Safestway, etc.,. Just be sure when you rinse it off that you wet your fingers and rub the mask into and off of your face. This will help to exfoliate and your skin will feel as soft as a baby's! :-) <em>edited by Tara.k on 20/03/2013</em>
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Latest post on 20 March 2013 - 12:15
On the subject of Dates, I LOOOOOOVE the dates stuffed with candied pecans, from Bateel!! I'll bring some of those, too!
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 22:00
Well, I shall try again. Thanks!
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 21:50
Is there a sign for Pinkys?? I drove down that street back and forth! What is wrong with me??!
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 21:38
I tried to find the Pinky's in Dubai location with no luck. I drove around and around in that area near MOE. I must be blind.
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 21:30
perfumed oils, frankincense if possible at all, spices, rugs and carpets, some of the hardwood furniture and pottery, my arabic coffee pots(new and old ) sounds like a ancient caravan in making...LOL edited by Goose on 19/03/2013 Wow! Lots of stuff! Sounds like you've been here for awhile Goose. :-) Where do you recommend purchasing Rugs and wood furniture?
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 10:39
Very expensive. But better than driving all the way across Dubai.
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 10:30
And by the way, what is "Alga espaguette "?? That's one of the things that popped up as elevated. However, when I try to search for it on the Internet, it isn't clear what it is linked to, except for seafood of some sort. ??
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Latest post on 19 March 2013 - 09:53
Thanks so much to you all! We are waiting on the Celiacs test- results should be in next few days for that. I have an appt. with a Dietician to go over results, on Thursday. I am now also considering having a test, myself. While I've always been relatively thin, my belly is always bloated. :-/ I'm a carb-eater. So easy to grab on the go! And I love cereal!
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Latest post on 18 March 2013 - 21:19
We also pack a small book bag for our boys (ages 4.5 and 6). Coloring books, maze books, hidden picture books, paper and markers. It really helps. Keep a bag packed all the time so you can just grab it on your way out the door. :-)
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 20:48
Well Ladies, I really do appreciate all of your insight and advice. Thank you! To be more clear, first she asked for January (for her sons' graduation??), and then during another conversation she mentioned Christmas. Mind you, this is all taken out of context. I told her I would discuss it with my husband. If there is one thing this experience has taught me, it is to stand firm, and I feel like I am getting quite good at that. Of course, there is always room for improvement. :-) I'm learning everyday. This is not the typical way of life where I grew up.
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 14:06
DR- if I allowed my maid to stay in our home alone, for two months with the " understanding" that she is not to work for others, exactly what should I expect her to do for 2 months? Stare at the wall and not leave the house?? I am not a "teenager". But perhaps I am newer to this whole experience than you are. Maybe you had all of the answers at the very beginning, and covered every possible scenario, but others like myself, maybe missed a few things. So, we look to others, like yourself, for advice. No need to cut anyone down...
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 14:04
DR, I think that you are wrong. It has become a habit for many maids to expats to take their vacation when they like then get more when their employee goes away. The maid knows that her one year is up in August anyway. Its ok :) I understand that. I just think if it wasnt made clear at the start of things then there is room for a bit of give and take. That would be the least of my concerns tho - having a maid who I didnt want to stay home alone would be the biggie. edited by DesertRose1958 on 17/03/2013[/quote <em>edited by Tara.k on 17/03/2013</em>
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 13:25
You are responsible for everything that she does, including moonlighting. "Moonlighting"... I like that. ;-) I swear, sometimes I wonder why we even bothered with this whole maid thing. I feel like I have another child...!
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 13:10
I learned a valuable lesson my first year with a housemaid (lots of them actually, this is just one). She asked to take her vacation in the month of March, 6 months into her contract and we agreed from the beginning (because we didnt know better at the time). It became a bad decision when we realized that meant, we were on our own for one Month during her contract and then she thought she would be hanging out in our apartment for the two months of summer when we were gone. To her disappointment, we decided to stay home that summer and save money. From that point forward, we learned that our housemaid is on our schedule and takes vacation when we are taking vacation. We are responsible for them while they are in the UAE under our sponsorship. What if there were an emergency here and she was alone? It is as much for her safety as it is ours. We need to protect them and ourselves. Very interesting Encore... Thank you!
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 13:08
Not saying I don't trust her, but I certainly don't trust her friends (if she decided to have them over.) He he....set up some cameras and film the lot. It would make some seriously good movie footage (the maid in the bath tub in madams bikini...lol) With the maid stories I've heard, it seems anything is possible! Although, if she wanted to prance around on my clothes, it wouldn't be terribly exciting... :-/ Are we as sponsors obligated to send her home while we are out of the country for the summer? I'm sure she would get part time jobs if she stayed. What are we responsible for?
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 12:58
Why cant she stay at your home?? I find that very odd. Well, I'm not comfortable with her being in our home the entire summer, with out us here. Not saying I don't trust her, but I certainly don't trust her friends (if she decided to have them over.)
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 12:56
I think that she must take her vacation when you say. You cannot send her somewhere else for the summer. I would not even give her an option. Thanks. I wasn't exactly feeling comfortable with it. If she got herself in trouble, we (her sponsors) would probably be in trouble. :-/ Thought it was strange not wanting to go home to spend a few months with her child.
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 12:54
Too funny! I just went through this last week! Had to watch tutorials, too! I found mine at Accessorize at MOE. :-)
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Latest post on 17 March 2013 - 12:52
Is it also open coming from SZR, into Motor City?