kansou | ExpatWoman.com
 

kansou

kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 14 June 2014 - 22:24
Hi everyone, Do you recommend a summer camp for my 4 year old DD.? It can also be a nursery which has a really nice summer camp. Thanks. where do you live? there are nursery based summer camps in almost any location
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 01 June 2014 - 13:25
I am looking at getting our first maid shortly and I have to say this is something I hear of alot. If it is happening that regulary tell her you want to take her to the doctors as it is not normal for someone to be that ill and you are worried about her. if she says no it's ok i'll be fine you'll know she is trying to pull a fast one, if she goes maybe she really is really ill and maybe it is something the doc can help with, could be as simple as a vitamin or mineral defficeny. If she is trying to pull a fast one you'll need to decide on a way to make it clear that you won't put up with it as Izzy said get her to make the time up or if you ever give a bonus tell her she won't be getting it due to sickness. We all get ill sometimes but not 2-3 times a week, thats just crazy! I am just afraid she Will do go to doctors no problem - she is taking panadol and whatever i give her (like voltaren for her neck) - she know it won't hurt her it will just support her story about being unwell. And what doctor would do...? Executive check up? .....ohh those maids :( I wish we were not so dependent on them:(
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 01 June 2014 - 13:07
Hello Ladies, I know there are many ladies here who have longer experience with maids so I thought to share with you and to hear some comments. It's our second maid (first one was live out) and she would often complain on some minor health issues: headache, tummy, nausea, neck, etc etc. I understand, we are all human beings and it happens, but 2-3 times a week? Yesterday for example, she suddenly got stiff neck when I told her that we are going to the mall so I left her home alone. I started feeling she is doing that to avoid going out or working in the house because I will obviously ask her to rest more often during the day or to take a nap (I wish my boss did this to me too when I wasn't feeling well in the office:)). What would you do? Would you just give her panadol and let her work as usual? Or stop yourself from thinking that she might be lying? Thanks, me:)
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:45
I agree with allowit. Parenting is a journey during which we all receive loads of unwanted, useless, busy-body advice. We have to remember Dad is the other parent so he gets a say...everyone else is welcome to their often irritating opinions, but we can just smile-and-nod then get on with what works for us. Your husband probably won't change if he genuinely wants his family's advice. Best to try to change your thinking and let it all roll off like the proverbial water on a duck's back. ;) Not in the cases where the Husband systematically ignores the advice of the doctor or what you feel is right to please his mother. I have lived through that and it does not work either. Some MIL's have the knack of only giving advice when they are asked. Others give advice as soon as they hear something is wrong. I prefer the first batch. Where does she say the husband is ignoring Dr's advice? Sure, if that was the case I'd agree the issue needs to be more seriously addressed, but (irritating as it may be) he IS the other parent as has the (irritiating sometimes) right to talk to whomever he wants about their child. I agree it's a shame and understandably frustrating for kansou that he's not respecting her wishes...but I don't actually think he's being entirely unreasonable. no absolutely not, he has right to talk to his mom as I have right to talk to MY mom and I do very often, BUT i never did anything that irritated s@#$%# out of him, and never did it again and again as if I've never seen his frustration. That's why my post title is "I hate when HE does it" and not "I hate when my MIL does it!" He may do it as much as he wants but I dont wanna know.
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:27
What is the problem if he does? After all he is the father also no? He has every right to tell his mother/father what ever he likes about his child. After all they are grandparents, they love your child also, believe it or not. It's his way of perhaps keeping them in touch with what's happening in your lives. At the end of the day, you can either choose to take their advice or ignore it....they aren't forcing you to do as they say, they are just trying to help, as they probably feel helpless from so far. Remember, they sometimes don't realise that you want to learn yourself. Is this your first child? I ask because I used to feel the same way too. It used to wind me up like no mans business, but, I put myself in their shoes, and tried to see it from their point of view. No 4 kids later I've chilled....though not to perfection ( in the in-laws eyes anyway) Don't take offence to what I say, i'm just trying to put another perspective to it that's all. edited by allow it on 12/02/2012 the problem is that I asked him many times not to do it as it upsets me - i think it's not difficult just not to say it if he really cares about me - isn't it a strong reason? And on the other hand, oh yes, they have right, I didn’t say they don’t, but I just don’t see they should know every sneeze or fart (sorry) our daughter does – that’s the difference between having right and knowing every step we make. Otherwise, since they have rights, we can spend 24 hours on Skype sharing stories of our life
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:26
What is the problem if he does? After all he is the father also no? He has every right to tell his mother/father what ever he likes about his child. After all they are grandparents, they love your child also, believe it or not. It's his way of perhaps keeping them in touch with what's happening in your lives. At the end of the day, you can either choose to take their advice or ignore it....they aren't forcing you to do as they say, they are just trying to help, as they probably feel helpless from so far. Remember, they sometimes don't realise that you want to learn yourself. Is this your first child? I ask because I used to feel the same way too. It used to wind me up like no mans business, but, I put myself in their shoes, and tried to see it from their point of view. No 4 kids later I've chilled....though not to perfection ( in the in-laws eyes anyway) the problem is that I asked him many times not to do it as it upsets me - i think it's not difficult just not to say it if he really cares about me - isn't it a strong reason? And on the other hand, oh yes, they have right, I didn’t say they don’t, but I just don’t see they should know every sneeze or fart (sorry) our daughter does – that’s the difference between having right and knowing every step we make. Otherwise, since they have rights, we can spend 24 hours on Skype sharing stories of our life :) Don't take offence to what I say, i'm just trying to put another perspective to it that's all. edited by allow it on 12/02/2012
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:16
Where in Dubai, please? i thought it's a myth about flat heads in babies... and i was told it is not safe to sleep with a pillow as well.
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:14
Dear ladies Have I written something incorrect? Why is nobody responding? :( Please help me to decide. TIA. edited by NikitaD on 12/02/2012 Just to support you:) I dont know any of them, but if you love them so much, make appointment with both of them, let them also put you on the waiting list and fingers crossed!
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 16:11
Don't tell your husband next time. Just do what you feel is best. I would be furious if my husband did that too. Then MIL would be DO THIS , DO THAT!!! Just stop telling him things until he gets the message well if I don't tell him, he will see it anyway (not diarrhoea of course, he can't even stand hearing about it) but smth like allergy! My MIL thinks she is a lawyer/doctor/mother Theresa/dentist/journalist.... of course she is none of these things but the amount of "advice" she dishes out, you would think she has a triple degree. Just tell your husband that you do not appreciate his family gicing you conflicting advice and that it is up to the doctor's here to treat it. I must admit I can absolutely understand where you are coming from but my DH would not do that to me. haha:) my MIL is the same and in fact she has no education at all! and the horror is that when she asks how is our kid doing and I say "fine" or "yes she slept well last night" she wouldnt sleep at all or falls with fever! ghrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 12 February 2012 - 15:59
Don't tell your husband next time. Just do what you feel is best. I would be furious if my husband did that too. Then MIL would be DO THIS , DO THAT!!! Just stop telling him things until he gets the message well if I don't tell him, he will see it anyway (not diarrhoea of course, he can't even stand hearing about it) but smth like allergy!
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 13 December 2011 - 15:40
Well you know what ladies, I was one of those who was ready to pay good salary, let her eat from our fridge, take her weekends, TV, Internet, mobile phone, etc etc., and I would fight with those who don’t provide all above and you know what? I take my words back. I truly believe a salary of 700$ (and I guess this is a minimum considering that some ladies here are so generous that paying even more) is too much and can actually feed all the village she is coming from and considering the fact she is not paying for anything here! (Well thanks God she left us before we proceeded with her visa, giving us an hour notice, not very convenient I would say but better early than when it’s too late.) I tell you, I sometimes don’t have 700$ by the end of the month and my maid does? **** no. I don’t ask her to do anything extra ordinary in my house, I would do the same if I didn’t have work, I just need her to keep my house clean and watch my baby. She comes here with 1 or 2 year contract, she saves 100% of her salary. Back in her country they would probably starve and no money to pay the school for her kids. I used to empathize, thinking “oh, how would I feel if my boss would do this to me” but you know what we are not them and they are not yours and those who don’t like it can report me to Human Rights Association. They’ve never seen what you’ve seen, they’ve never travelled, most probably never studies and the most important most of them don’t even know the word “appreciation”. They take your good attitude to them for granted and they don’t think if you are good to them they will be loyal to their duties, No, they will think “madame is good so I can ask for more or I can skip doing something, she is good she will forgive or won’t say anything”. So it’s your choice how to treat them, I’m not saying you have right to insult and get physical, God no! But go down to Earth with providing all those “luxury” benefits!
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 November 2011 - 23:01
I don't know if I'm exaggerating or not but I never call her maid, or cleaner or whatever. She is Jeniffer, "our girl" or a nanny even though she is helping me in the house etc. She is an employee and I treat her fairly. My boss treats me fairly and I pay her back by being loyal, efficient and professional at work and I expect the same from people. If I do wrong or abuse I'm sure my boss will show me... I'm no different from Jeniffer she is just les fortunate money wise
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 November 2011 - 22:46
MaaaaamSiiiiiiir Simsim - erything simsim maaaam Same same!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 November 2011 - 22:46
MaaaaamSiiiiiiir Simsim - erything simsim maaaam Same same!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 November 2011 - 22:34
Wow 2400', 3000, 4000....I think if it ll go this way we ll stay maidless
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 November 2011 - 22:26
I've just given 3 days off to my nanny and she is going to spend them with her sister and sister's family. She is a human being and she needs to have a break, we are having 3 days off so wouldn't she? She because they are less fortunate and have to work as maids doesn't mean they have to be mistreated. She is looking after my baby and my house and taking care of us and I have to take care of her. If she does a mistake or will abuse, she will surely know that I am not happy at all about it.
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 30 October 2011 - 21:41
Why would you bring someone who doesn't speak English??? Well what I did is I prepared a schedule for every day, every week and every month duties, u ll have a contract anyway when u ll be doing her visa, but some guidelines on how to behave, what to do and what not to do at home won't harm I think
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 October 2011 - 17:36
bump Mine is arriving tomorrow and I've prepared some sort ofmguidelines for her, let me know ur email address so I can send it to u
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 13:53
Do you have an en-suite? if so make sure that the door is shut - the smells (and ciggie smoke) from my neighbours comes in via my bathroom extractor fan things. I find if I even leave the door ajar my bedroom smells like what i imagine rockbottom to smell like ;) we i discovered that when A/C is off it doesnt smell, but then we'll smell because we will sweat :D:D:D
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 13:52
I'm afraid this is the downside of apartment living. No, you can't ask them not to cook their breakfast at a time that suits them, any more than they can ask you to cook your dinner according to their schedule. Perhaps ask management/maintenance to look into the problem. Sometimes it's a construction problem and a gap in the wall forcing air through the ceiling space between apartments/villas. well it's not really a smell of a breakfast believe me... it smells like they are cooking dinner in the morning! well organised, i agree but i can't smell it in the morning even if my mom will cook it in my own apartment, it's a morning!!!
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 25 September 2011 - 11:15
I know I can't stop them cooking in the morning and I know for sure our A/C or whatever brings that smell in our apartment won't be fixed as this is how most of the building were built in this city, but I have a question can I actually ask my neighbours kindly to retrain from cooking early morning as I hate my life when the smell hits my nose at 6.30 AM regardless of whether it's a weekend or a working week! We are even thinking to move out but I love my apartment, and I'm sick of moving places every year and it won't be easy this year with a baby...
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 September 2011 - 13:38
lol:-) had the same experience, MAC lady couldn't accept the fact that i have white skin! she was insisting on the foundation 2 tones darker then mine, it was very frustrating...
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 September 2011 - 17:43
I am using Cleanco (04-4279676) at the moment, a lady called Asmera does a fantastic job!
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 September 2011 - 17:27
couldnt find Explorer's number? can you please post it here? and that's true, Howdra has a waiting list...:( should have called them before...
kansou
25
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 September 2011 - 16:31
what are the consequences of having a live out nanny to be on your visa? is she actually allowed to live with her husband being on someone else's visa? or does it oblige her to live with us? <em>edited by kansou on 19/09/2011</em>
 
 
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