An Expat Spouse Career; Some Realistic Advice

You already are an expat spouse or you are on the brink of becoming one, and you did your homework, right? You read all those inspirational career stories about seeing every location you go to as an opportunity to learn new skills, to not shy away from volunteering jobs and to think outside of the box; try a different career path. And you felt motivated, ready, driven even.

I know I did! In fact since I had been working and living abroad before I even met my husband, spoke at least 5 languages already and knew what I was capable of on my own, I was going to ‘ace’ this, right? Well, yes and no. Those motivating stories may not actually be wrong but they aren’t exactly right either. Let me tell you why I think so and what realistic advice I would have wanted to get when I started out on this journey of the ‘trailing spouse’. First of all, according to the Oxford Dictionary a career is ‘an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person’s life, usually with opportunities for progress.’

Becoming a trailing spouse is not conducive to working anywhere for a significant period of time and therefore there won’t be a lot of opportunities for progress.

Not a Career but Work

Is that to say it is all nonsense? Not at all. There are opportunities and expat-partners with a well-defined job who (probably) will stay in a western, well developed country for a longer period of time (5+ years at least) have a chance to have a career. But let’s call a spade, a spade: most ‘trailing spouses’ might be able to find a job and earn money but that’s work not a career! Gain experience in a field you are interested in by volunteering. Get a job so you meet new people who are not related to your partner’s work. Join networking groups to expand your network or learn the language. It is all fun, interesting and useful!

Expat Spouse and Work

I learned the languages, got certified to teach English, found jobs, had to move again, finished a degree, had kids, found another type of job again and had a partner that travelled a lot….

Working in your own country and juggling careers, family life and kids is hard. Trying to do so away from your safety network is even harder and often the reason why having two actual careers in the conservative sense is too much to aim for. I tried.

Following someone else for their dreams and job requirements was a lot harder than I thought it was because mine had to come second, every time. Learning to live with those limitations however also taught me how to find a way to make my dreams of work on my terms come true.

SEE ALSO: Portable careers you take anywhere around the world

Before you go, when you go or while you are at your destination, figure out what you want out of your life and in this situation! Besides being someone’s partner or parent, you have to find out what makes you happy and makes you feel you are living a meaningful life.

So here is the advice on work or career, I would have wanted to get when I was to become an expat-spouse.

Prepare and Research!

What are your options? Do you want to work? Are you allowed to in the (proposed) country? If so, do you need to have particular education, transfer, translations, need for languages. Check part time versus full time issues; look at what age the kids are allowed to go to day care, what are the other child care options…The regular leg work. Prepare.

Go for it! Jump in!                                           

Move country, challenge yourself and get a good sense of what skills define you. Do try and find work in your own field or industry. Life is a lot more fun and meaningful if you can make it happen. Definitely try! If you don’t succeed…
 

Work or career?

You tried, it did not work…now decide: do you want to work or do you want a career? Maybe being an expat partner without too many options and distractions makes you very happy. Perfect! Enjoy it, it truly is a great life and your kids will thrive with at least one parent to fall back on consistently.

Study

Get that degree you had wanted to pursue. Back it up with additional, related volunteering and you could find yourself on a career path after all. But if you want to earn an income (always smart, when considering what our pensions might look like or to ensure you have something to fall back on if life throws you curve ball), will it be work or a career? Want a job or a way to meet people, earn some money or mainly pass time? If so, the local Starbucks might need a barista, you could become a local guide to the museum, etc.….

Still Want a Career?

Let’s look into a transportable career. I mean one that you can take to another country without having to start over entirely and you don’t need to get recertified. A career that allows you to work in the same field for a prolonged time but in different places in the world.Check what skills set you have! Artistic, entrepreneurial, language skills, crafter, web whiz, fashionista, cooking skills, math magician, organizing king/queen, anything. See what your hobbies or other interests are. Which could you take with you to any country and become a source of income? How do those combine to the skills you identified? Can they be paired?

Often the things we take for granted about ourselves are very special to others and can be turned into a way to make money. Nowadays with the opportunities through internet, there are lots of options to capitalize on them. Find courses to help you develop your skills and interests. See how they can be combined into a paying opportunity. Start early on in your own country or see what you could do in your current destination. That photography class you had wanted to take that will develop your skill to choose the right lighting learn web preparation and professional photo shopping.

Magazines always need good pictures, as do local and global papers, websites, models, you name it.A course on ‘How to set up your own business’ could be combined with your math skills so you become an entrepreneur and work as a financial administrator from home. You have been a ‘crafter’ forever, showed people how to create and do them. Why not learn how to turn them into YouTube clips and become a vlogger. Artists, painters, potters, gold smiths…set up your own online shop and sell your creations all over the world. Websites galore, they need creating and maintaining: learn coding, writing for the web, set up websites for others, build apps. A lot of conventional work is disappearing but people need help with their administration: become a Virtual Assistant; schedule agenda’s, prepare paperwork, take care of someone’s emails.

The options we now have did not exist when I first became a trailing spouse but I would have appreciated a more realistic idea about my career chances. Nowadays a transportable career is very possible. It is meaningful, inspiring and achievable. So is working, volunteering and parenting abroad but they are not a ‘career’ unless you turn them into one.

Figure out what you want and go for it, enjoy!