Tips for the Single #ExpatWoman | ExpatWoman.com
 

Tips for the Single #ExpatWoman

Posted on

25 May 2015

Last updated on 25 May 2015


Tips for the Single #ExpatWoman


No matter where you are in the world, moving as a single, expatriate woman can prove challenging and pose unsafe at times. So take care of yourself with our advice. 

Everybody associates an expat lifestyle with marriage, and generally it’s true. Many expat ladies have moved continents to better both their own and their husband’s careers through various assignments and postings. But by wrongly assuming you have to be married or have a partner to be an expat is detrimental to any adventure that you as a single woman may wish to pursue. Especially nowadays, the more familiar women, often (wrongly) nicknamed as ‘trailing spouses’, are being caught up with a whole new kind of #ExpatWoman – the strong, solo female expatriates.

Single expat woman

It is a group that is less commonly discussed around the world, but it is one that a number of women belong to: the single, female expat. While at times it seems like such a glamourous and easy-going lifestyle – which, undeniably, it can be sometimes – the new found freedom of working and living in a different country than home does not come without its own challenges, especially when you are single.

After the initial excitement of arriving in your new country and settling in wears off, the hardest obstacle, which is the overwhelming feeling of being ‘alone, starts to set in. You might just suddenly realise that you no longer are able to just quickly ring or pop to your family or friends house, and you have no partner or spouse to turn to for comfort. But the good news is, in a world where there are over 7 billion people, it’s only a matter of time and effort before you start making acquaintances and friends.

The sad reality however, is that no matter where you are as a single, expat woman who’s living abroad alone, you may sometimes face safety concerns that you did not necessarily have to deal with while living in our home country. While you may have been brought up in a country that provides support for women’s rights, it does not necessarily mean your new adopted country does. So to help you settle in comfortably and safely, here’s some advice…


Visit Your Potential Home

While we hear of expats just upping themselves and leaving for their expat adventure, it’s best to take precautions when choosing your new home. If you have a country in mind that you wish to live in, take a short trip there to get a feel for the place on your own. It’s no surprise that some things seem perfect on paper, but can be a flop in real life. Perhaps you can rent an apartment for a week or month and live like a local – go food shopping, take your trash out, rent a car and test the roads. And ask yourself frequently: do you feel safe here? Do you feel confident walking around? Visiting your chosen country prior to moving will allow you to investigate local expat communities to learn more from people actually living there. You might even be able to forge relationships with other women who will become useful to know once you make the move.


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Understand Local Customs

This is an obvious one: you need to do some research before moving to a foreign country. As a single, female expat you are the one responsible for your own safety. If you’re moving to a country where women are expected to dress or act in a certain way, or where women are not allowed to enter certain settings or venues, you need to figure that out in advance. You need to know about where you’re headed so that you’re not caught off-guard when you arrive.


Make (Single) Friends

When we say this, we don’t mean your only friends must be single. That’s impossible! Inevitably you will make friends with people or colleagues who are already married, with families or who are living with their partners. And that’s fine. But it’s also important for your own state of mind to make some other single friends. Once you’ve reached that point in your life where it seems everyone is ‘taking over’ you with a serious relationship or getting married and having children, life can start to feel a little lonelier and even make you feel out of place. Don’t get us wrong, it’s great to hear about you friend’s wedding plans or how great their new partner is, but sometimes you just need a friend that has no obligations to a partner and is ready to go out with your or be there for you whenever needed. Let’s call them your partner-in-crime; every single girl needs a single friend.

Make new friends as single expat woman

Meet Other Expats

In addition to making friends and meeting people from your new country, it’s important to also get in touch with other expatriates who understand exactly what it is you’re going through. People can relate and know what it’s like to be from the ‘outside’. You’ll need someone who you can turn to and mutually vent with on days when you are homesick or encounter a cultural difference which frustrates you. Sometimes we all just need someone who knows where we are coming from, and with whom we share a common ground.


SEE ALSO: The dark side of expat life... The long distance relationship


 

Don’t Do Anything You Wouldn’t at Home

It’s tempting to let loose after moving to a new place where nobody knows your name. We understand, it can feel great to know that you are free from professional and personal constraints as you enjoy yourself in this new place. But before you have a little too much fun, ask yourself: if you were at home, would you feel safe doing that? We doubt it. Thus you shouldn’t do it in your new home either. You must keep in mind the local customs in your new homes, behavioural expectations too. And you never know, expat communities have a habit of being quite tightly knitted, so word can get around quickly. The benefit of a tight-knit expat community is camaraderie and safety; the downside is gossip.

Find an Interest Group, Club or Society

Continuing any hobbies you may have can be very beneficial for yourself as an individual, and it also opens up opportunities for you to meet other people who have a common interest. Find something that you enjoy doing outside of work! Cook, create, design, draw, sing or play an instrument! Keeping up with your passions not only helps you keep your sanity, lift your mood and make you a more interesting individual overall, but it also gives you the opportunity to meet like-minded people who can potentially become your friend. If you can’t find a group for something that you would normally have joined, take it as a push to try something new! You’ve got a new, clean slate now so try new things and become a new, improved person.


Learn the Language

An important way of adjusting to your new culture is learning the local language. If you already know it, that will help to make your transition a little easier. But if not, dedicate some time each day to learning, and hopefully one day, you’ll master it! Sign up for a class or find a tandem partner to practice with. The more you are able to communicate with the local population, the less you will feel like an outsider and the more doors and possibilities will open for you. Maybe even some new, sweet friendships too! Learning the language will also give you a better, all-rounded insight into the local culture and how nationals live their lives.


SEE ALSO: Importand documents you need before moving to expat land


Get Online

Another source that can help you with adjusting to your new life, and one which is easy to accommodate your busy schedule, is the Internet. Use the web to find people like you around your city. You might even want to try out online dating, as it is a very popular and a great way of meeting a potential partner as well as a great motivation to learn that foreign language. Find a site that fits your interests and goals, and get ready to meet other singles in your area. That is if you’re seeking a partner, of course.

Get online dating as a single expat woman

Keep in Touch

Expat life isn’t for everyone! But keeping in touch with your friends and family back home will help to keep you grounded, and it will give them peace of mind for you too. So for their sanity and fears, keep in touch. Be honest with them when talking about your new life and if you’re unhappy for any reason, they will be an ear to listen. After all, they knew you before you moved so they’ll be able to tell if something isn’t right. Because being an expat doesn’t mean you always have to be happy and confident and successful. That’s a pressure no expat should bear. You are able to have your weak moments when you miss your home country or your family and friends.