excited2Bexpat

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 10:05

HI Oopsie - no problem - happy to help. You can find some wonderful maids and thankfully I have just sponsored someone who I trust completely and who is lovely in every way - I too found the whole keeping tabs on them very difficult to get my head around when I arrived a year ago but ended up with a nasty situation because I offered too much freedom. I think if you're willing to sponsor and pay fulltime - get them in full time, and perhaps get them to cook, run errands, manage your house - on a day to day basis - you will be surprised how much you can find for them to do day by day.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 22 January 2012 - 09:49

Would second the advice about going with an agency. Idle hands are not a good thing when it comes to maids. Whereas most of us might think that they would be grateful for the good deal you're considering - this arrangement sounds to me like a recipe for sly part time work on the side, and you being at risk of a 50K fine or anxiety and suspicion. Due to the responsibility you shoulder when sponsoring, you kind of need to know where your maid is most of the time and what she's up to. I'm afraid many maids will exploit the kindness you show and feel no need to pay it back in loyalty and staying on the right side of the law. I say this from bitter experience. <em>edited by excited2Bexpat on 22/01/2012</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 19 January 2012 - 08:57

Thanks so much for this advice - I have her passport number (kept a photocopy :-) ) and also the white cancellation paper.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 12 January 2012 - 11:24

Hi there. We recently sent our maid home due to her being a risk to our child's wellbeing and various other things we didn't want to pass on to another unsuspecting family. We cancelled the visa beforehand at DNRD (got the white paper and two big red cancelled stamps across her residency) and took her through immigration at terminal 1 where I believe (According to husband who did it) her passport was stamped and she exited under the close supervision of an immigration officer who was watching her very carefully apparently. That said, we've come home without any paper/documentary proof of this. We waved the white cancellation papers at the immi staff but they gave them back to us without any stamp on them. I want to know how on earth do we prove to DNRD she's exited, firstly in order to be 100% sure she's out of our lives and 2) to get the 2 k deposit back. I have been extremely stressed for the last few months about this woman, her neglect of my son, and the prospect of removing her from the country, and so part of my anxiety is surely a 'hangover' from this experience, but can someone reassure me? Is it perfectly normal to turn up at DNRD without any paperwork other than the yellow deposit receipt we got way back when and get back the deposit - is her exit automatically recorded when they scan the passport on the way out? Can anyone calm me down? Thanks so much.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 January 2012 - 15:28

The place in Iran is Kish Island - if you google Kish Island you will find details of how/what etc. Muscat is another option but visa runs have to be done via airports for housemaids. You cannot just drive to Hatta, for example. It sounds as if your potential maid is coming to the end of her 30 days grace period if the visa has already been cancelled. I believe it is possible for her to overstay slightly beyond this, which attracts a small daily fine, if you wanted to wait a week or so to finally make it formal - but before relying on this I would pop in to the DNRD and ask someone there. You can go either to Bur Dubai or Al Manara center and they will be able to provide you with the definitive answer. Good luck.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 08 January 2012 - 09:32

I think you're right. Large villa + 4 kids and pets etc = slightly higher salary than family of 3 in an apartment. In terms of days off - go with what best suits your family's needs. Does saturday tend to be a busy day full of getting stuff ready for the working/school week, shopping, etc. If so, give her fridays off and have her around to help on saturday. If you start that way and then find that every other saturday you don't need her, then you can 'reward' her by giving her that time off occasionally, but don't make it a formal committment...likely she will be very grateful for the occasional extra downtime and you'll always have that flexibility of help on the weekends if you need it. I also think, from experience, it's important to have a new housemaid around at weekends. This is when you and your husband can observe her work, she can observe you with the kids and learn from you, you can talk/communicate in a more relaxed manner than in between school runs, or at the end of the day when you're exhausted.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 03 January 2012 - 16:36

Doodle - it does sound harsh and scary and I have this exact scenario to deal with very shortly. I should have done it much sooner but for having the fear from reading horror stories. But actually the horror stories help you to work out the worst case scenario and plan for all outcomes. Use them to work out how to do it in a way which protects you best. And, like others say, if you plan meticulously, dot the i's and cross the t's, and keep it quiet til the last minute, the opportunities for it being scary are minimised to a more palatable level. Hanging on to the passport, and the sponsors' passport is critical. Oh and there are plenty of companies here who do shipping of maid's stuff back to the Phils (try makati cargo or frico I Think). And in your more darker moments, ask yourself this - if you or your DH threw an illicit party in your office at the weekend, damaging office equipment, and wasting expensive resources - tried to cover it up - and in the mean time were the lowest performing member of the team and had already had a warning, do you think your boss would be giving you the benefit of the doubt and passing you on to another company with a glowing reference? Try not to feel scared or bad. I've scoured EW for experiences of others doing this, and there are many who have who are still standing, as it were, to tell the tale. I am hoping I will be one of those soon, too. Wish me luck.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2012 - 16:58

Desert - your post, and experience, I could have written the same. We are in similar positions. I wish you all the best of luck in what is definitely a really challenging situation for those of us who have not had live in hired help before, and yes, who feel like complete fools for being 'nice' only to have it taken advantage of. I will watch out for your posts to see what you decide, and will be here for virtual moral support if you need it.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 January 2012 - 14:37

You have options, depending on how good the relationship is between you, how much you trust her, and if morally, you think her shortcomings are minor enough to not put another family, or their kids, at risk. If you do trust her and she has potential to be a decent maid for another family you can tell your maid you're not renewing and offer her a chance to find a new job. If she finds said new job, cancel her visa and hand the papers over to the new employer - although be aware she's still your responsibility until the new employer takes over sponsorship officially, once this has happened you can get back your deposit - I think - although I am not 100% sure. Hopefully she'll feel ok about being given the chance to find another job, and as such, will do her duty to you until the end and not take the mickey etc. If you have [i'>[b'>any[/b'>[/i'> doubts as to her trustworthy-ness, or if you think she would present problems to another family like she has to you, then although it's not a particularly pleasant thought, I would urge you to do what others have done which is cancel and send her home. Do not give her notice, make sure you have hold of her passport before you tell her, book a flight and then go to DNRD to cancel the visa (it's v simple provess). When she exits at the airport you are free of responsibility and can claim back your deposit. Yes option 2 sounds harsh but there are so many stories on here of families ending up with bad or dangerous maids because the previous employer thought it too harsh to send them home and demonstrate to them that not doing your job properly has consequences. edited by excited2Bexpat on 02/01/2012 <em>edited by excited2Bexpat on 02/01/2012</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 05 December 2011 - 10:46

mrs_Bing I feel your pain and I am going through similar. A lot of good advice on here suggesting various approaches and my 'solution' if you can call it that, is a mix of them: I drop my son at school in the morning and start work very early - at 7.45. I use my lunchbreak to pick my son up from school and then I take him to a nursery which happen to offer after school care for kids up to 6, I think. I then race back to work, and leave on the dot at 5.30 to head back to the nursery and take my son home. It would be worth, given the age of your kids, and the fact that one is in nursery already, to approach your nursery to see if they could help you out, and take your oldest into the top class in nursery. They would chill out and rest after school and you would have peace of mind. I am very lucky that my boss understands, and he was great in allowing me to undertake this flexible arrangement. But like another poster suggested - I mapped it out in an email and offered to do it as a trial, and review it if it was causing problems . That said, making 7 trips a day in the car, and wasting time trying to find parking outside nursery etc when the clock is ticking is taking it out of me. If he's sick - well depending on whether it's just a sniffle or worse, then I either work from home (and usually get tons more done :-)), or let him come to my office with toys and an Ipad and he sits next to me watching a film whilst I get on with things. However, I wonder whether it's sustainable long term. I too have had my fingers burned with a maid when it comes to childcare, and would struggle to trust another one, but other friends of mine have wonderful experiences with truly lovely women who love and care for the kids in a very safe and responsible way - but it's luck of the draw. If you want to chat about this have a friendly ear who understands please let me know and I will post my email for you. <em>edited by excited2Bexpat on 05/12/2011</em>

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 31 October 2011 - 10:18

To the OP - I could have written your post! I am also new to all this - we've had our nanny 7 months and she has also asked for a huge amount of cash upfront for Christmas (the worst time for me tbh as we have all the expenditure associated with that time of year, plus second installment of school fees to pay in early jan). At the same time her work has slackened (from a fairly unimpressive start anyway), and generally she is taking the mickey more and more. I strongly believe this because we've been far too easygoing and not treated her like an employee, rather some kind of 'friend/family who occasionally helps a bit around the house'. Big mistake. Following advice on here I've decided enough is enough and to crack down in the only way that hurts which is through withdrawing privileges such as the cash advance she wants. I told her plainly she would be getting no plane ticket advance a Christmas because she has not worked hard enough, and it is inconvenient for me financially to provide her with this money at Christmas. Think about how you'd behave as an employee - if you wanted something like an advance from your boss, you'd likely stay late, increase your productivity, be more flexible, show extra commitment etc. She is an employee too, and so the same works for her, right? Is she doing this? No, she's asking for loads of time off, and then a bunch of money, and refusing to be flexible on her hours. What would your boss say to you if you did the same? Probably wouldn't be handing you a plane ticket on a silver plate right? Believe me, I feel your pain on this and In the words of another poster - I started this, so I have to finish it - I've made my bed, and am now suffering the consequences. Claw back some power, reframe the relationship to be one of give and take on both sides, but with some clear boundaries beyond which you as employer will not go. I'm rolling out this approach now - 7 months too late - but hopefully it will work.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 18 September 2011 - 08:41

My son goes to Safa, and the traffic has been consistently horrendous every day since school went back. It wasn't like this before the summer break and I too am wondering if one of the schools around there has changed opening hours. Took me 30 mins to drive from Safa to Business Bay last week - normally around a 7 minute drive. Sigh.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 21 June 2011 - 10:54

Aww thanks as always for all the good advice, and Highland Lass - don't worry I was not really thinking you were implying it was me - my comfort zone stretches from Dubai Mall to Media City and a few beaches in Jumeirah (but only on a friday morning) - not done the Ranches or desert yet! Hope your son's not in too much pain from the experience you described. Can't believe that happened to you - especially as I find here that quite often there are clear markings which remind you which side of the road you should be on!!!!. Speaking of which I've just seen the most amazing thing from my office looking out over SZR - a car breaks down in the fast lane - within minutes a policeman is on the scene and single handedly stops all 7 lanes of traffic by walking assertively across the entire road, then pushes the broken down car so he can safely roll over to the grass verge on the opposite side. Wow - what a brave policeman. Quite an amazing sight.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 22:35

To put the record absolutely straight I live nowhere near the Ranches and have never been anywhere near it :-) Highland Lass - the kind of driving you describe is what's making me so nervous too. I'm a very careful driver but my problem is this risk averse approach seems to be attracting lots of beeps and bullying from people behind me. I've never flown around corners in Dubai or England for that matter.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 20 June 2011 - 19:13

I've not long been driving in Dubai and I am wondering if I will ever get past the fear which is kind of persistently nagging at me before every journey and stopping me from going places beyond my comfort zone if you can call it that. I seem to witness or experience near misses everyday and whilst I'm starting to predict getting cut up or undertaken on SZR for example, I am also finding the risk taking of pedestrians really difficult to handle. I always slow down and stop at zebra crossings, but often find pedestrians walk out in front of you on the open road without looking, and when you least expect it - and when I slam on the brakes to keep them safe, the people behind get really irritated with me. Don't get me wrong, I would do anything in my power to avoid an accident and I will always respect pedestrian's rights and I know there's a lack of crossings etc - but has anyone else experienced this type of mad risk taking and if so how best to handle?

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 02 June 2011 - 17:35

I too have had to do this a few times here already, in a relatively new job, where I am still effectively on 'probation'. I've had nothing but support and concern to be honest, but I totally feel for you, as it is hard. But to broach the issue of how best to tackle it.....after years of having to do this in the UK, and feeling largely ashamed at first, I now just deliver the news to my management in a very business-like way, usually first thing in the morning to show I am up and about and considerate of providing notice. That said, I do tend to always try and provide some level of continuity and output whilst off at home. I outline clearly what it is I will be doing from home, and when and how people can contact me. I find I almost always get MORE done, when at home, even with a sick child. Oh and I also minimise any emotional or descriptive commentary and try not to sound too apologetic. hope this helps.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 June 2011 - 09:44

Thanks so much ladies for the advice. Hubby is off work this week so has been briefed by me to go and report it to the office today, and in so doing to go through what happened with the maid to get the full story again - so she also knows it's a serious issue. I'll follow up with the rules with her tonight - ie what you suggest about not letting anyone in without us being there, and only if there was an emergency (ie medics or fire). Things I thought would be obvious but slow learner that I am - they clearly need to be set out in stone on the fridge or something ;-) Would love to meet up - I do work, but luckily am always around at about 6 ish down by tower J(west 4), with a little blonde scamp on a green and black bike, and me usually in work type gear with red hair. Weekends I am always around and love the pool.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 01 June 2011 - 08:06

Hi ET ladies - I recently moved in - and have been looking out for all you mums at playtime in the eve - but yet to be brave enough to approach 'cold'. Beyond wanting to make contact with other ET mums - as I have a little lad who would love to be more social after school, I have a bit of a thing which happened yesterday which I want your advice on. We went out in the evening, briefly, leaving the maid in the house. Nothing weird about that. We wouldn't be long, we told her. We arrived back around an hour later to find our front door wide open and one of the security guys walking out carrying a clipboard saying 'water'. We instantly thought 'problem' given it was the security guy and he moved off too sharply for me to question him. So to the maid I ask - what's he doing here - she tells me, he rang the bell and asked to come in for a drink of water and because he was in uniform she thought she should let him in. OK, so two issues: 1) security guards ringing on random houses (on a high floor I hasten to add) after dark at night and expecting to wander in and drink water is plain wrong and unprofessional - its not as if he waited at the doorstep - oh no he was right in the living room? Surely they have their own restroom or whatever and 2) I firmly told the maid that she should never have let him in in the first place and in future not to do this - but that I understood because of his uniform she thought he was ok to come in. Hubby and I went straight downstairs and looked for him. Couldn't find him but spoke to our usual absolutely lovely, salt of the earth guard who knows us. We tried to get him to find him but he couldn't either. So it's been left unresolved. For now. I intend to report to the site office today, and am now wondering whether there is more to it - not good thoughts, I have to admit... Am I overreacting? I hope so, as I have always felt so safe and trusting of the guys in the towers, or would you also be insisting on identifying the guy and him being given a good talking to. We have small kids - so as you can imagine the idea of random men being let in at all hours is totally unpalatable. Recognise that's also the maid's reposnsiblity to be a more firm gatekeeper but still -we all trust the guys in uniform right? sorry this is jumbled as I did not sleep too well last night due to this. any advice I'd be so grateful xxx

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 10 March 2011 - 07:02

Wow this place is such a goldmine of info - thanks so much.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 22:09

Thanks so much - Safa is our school - and I've been wondering how that drive would work ( I am not driving yet but need to do this as soon)! Will keep an eye out - small blond lad, and me, also small-ish with red hair!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 21:48

Thanks Sugarbeach! We've got our keys now and signed the contract so we'll be beginning to move in this weekend. Look out for the stressed mother, small child and laid back husband heaving suitcases around! Seriously - we're really pleased to be moving in and it's SO CLOSE to our little boy's school. Woop Woop!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 15:50

I can sympathise as we went through the same - have you tried Horizon and Safa - two nice schools in Jumeirah who do not ask for payment to go on the waiting list, and whose registrars are pleasant and straight talking? I ended up spending a fortune on waiting lists for schools who I am sure never had any intention of offering me a place. Indeed some never even replied to my email asking if they had received the waiting list fee - what does that suggest about their attitude to customer service?....I got very stressed and flustered about it but it did work out ok - and we got a place within three months of starting the search. It's just no-one will say you're close to getting a place til they actually know they have a place if you see what i mean - so you don't know if you're way down, or, at the top of the list - well I didn't anyway. All the best of luck and let us know how you get on.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 14:27

Thanks for the advice - I scribed an ad - probably far too fussy and specific (neurotic mum I am at the moment) - in the middle of the night last night as I am not sleeping too well at the moment. Too much diet coke I think. Will start looking in earnest.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 14:25

Thanks for the info - in a way that makes me feel better, as there is nothing much I can or should be doing til the contract comes in - I am in one of those 'must keep doing tasks' frames of minds today - but some things I just can't control and it seems this is one of them. Oh well me and son will enjoy a lovely day out to Hatta and have lunch at the fort, just the two of us!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 14:23

Thanks ladies - this is lovely and reassuring to read. I am just about to embark on hiring one to look after my little lad and coming from childminder land in the UK it's a bit daunting. However, reading posts like these puts my mind at rest x

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 09 March 2011 - 13:12

Hi all well we've been here 10 days and the good news is that my husband's residency came through yesterday. Phew I thought - now we can apply for mine and our son's residency and life will get a bit easier. However, we spoke to our excellent PRO who has told us we have to wait til we receive my husband's attested work contract back from the MoL before we can begin to apply - and that this could take up to two weeks to arrive. Of course, this then means my son and I are skating close to the edge of needing to extend our 30 day visit visas. I can't seem to find much info about this around on the DNRD site - so if anyone could advise me what they've done in a similar situation I'd be most grateful. Also - do we also need this attested work contract to sponsor a maid, or will a simple statement of salary be adequate? Thanks!

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 March 2011 - 16:19

Thanks Miss Balamory. Starting to enjoy it now....and feels like home a bit more.

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EW NEWBIE

Latest post on 07 March 2011 - 16:12

Hello - joining this thread as we've just more or less secured an apt at ET. Moving in asap I hope, with our little boy. We arrived here from the UK last week, and am desperate to get into our own place. He's starting school at Safa very soon too. Would love to meet other parents, and if anyone has any maid recommendations do let me know (I will also post on the maid's board) We saw that the pool was 'closed for maintenance' today- how long do you think til it'll be open? Anyway - hi! and hope I can join you all here

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