fandrew | ExpatWoman.com
 

fandrew

fandrew
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Latest post on 08 January 2013 - 14:36
Who is your appointment with? I have found peels to be really worth it. I started off with light strength which was really enough for me. You will be really pleased with the results. Granted, I have never had one outside of europe or the states so let us know who you chose and share the information! yes, not as exciting as maids but less likely to be deleted :-) Ah I got a reply! What strength did you do the first time round? I'm tan skinned so I dont want to go too high. I'm going to Dubai Cosmetic Surgery in Jumeirah. I did the light strength and it was great! they gave me an option of light medium and heavy. I need heavy but I am a wuss!
fandrew
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Latest post on 08 January 2013 - 14:29
Who is your appointment with? I have found peels to be really worth it. I started off with light strength which was really enough for me. You will be really pleased with the results. Granted, I have never had one outside of europe or the states so let us know who you chose and share the information! yes, not as exciting as maids but less likely to be deleted :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 08 January 2013 - 12:50
Both of the people who work for us make over 2000+. 2K was the starting salary for one but the other made above that at start. They each have a separate room with en suite bathroom facilities and we do pay for food, toiletries and healthcare, they receive one day a week off (though saturday there is nothing much to do) and they get a month off each year which they are allowed to split up as they like so long as it suits us.. We also do not have children. That having been said we entertain a lot. Not once a month but maybe once or even twice a week. In addition the person who makes over 2K and has since they started cooks everything as well as cleans/laundry/ironing/shopping. My husband is a clean freak so there is a lot to do in terms of cleaning as well. Our parties can be elaborate and large - lots of "for the night" decor, a lot of setup and take down and a lot of serving etc. We are not the normal household so we feel their salaries are well deserved and yes they get an increase each year. I think one is on 2500 at the moment and they earn every penny as far as I am concerned. It really does depend on your house and your lifestyle. If you have light housework no entertaining and intermittent childcare I would imagine below 2K is perfectly acceptable.
fandrew
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Latest post on 08 January 2013 - 07:32
Shame MrsB and sorry to hear you are in a bit of a bind now. Unfortunately, though we have never had this problem, it all comes down to salary even when treatment is good. I try to think of "staff retention" - to borrow a silly term from organizational behavior for the workplace - and consider the cost benefit analysis of increased pay versus being left in the lurch. Frankly the extra 200 a month or whatever the space is between what you pay and what the next person pays may well be worth it going forward for the next maid. Try an agency maid that lives out in the interim and good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 21:25
Shame the first is now a pay for movies site and the second disabled. But thank you loads anyway! :-) I seem to remember the link was basically some womans website who embedded them somehow.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 21:09
Bless you simpleasabc!
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 10:03
After posting that I realized that I have no idea :( Also it occurred to me that as DH is local that may be part of our health insurance through Thiqa. But I can ask Dh when he returns home.
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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 10:01
I have never checked in either of the rooms but then they are outside of the house. Even when their rooms were inside I didn't check. I suppose I just feel that they are afforded so little privacy and private time to begin with I don't feel the need to intrude. Again though we have never had suspicion or reason to.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 January 2013 - 09:58
We have Dammam which covers them at certain hospitals with a small copay.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 23:32
This is the drug dr Amal suggested I should possibly take but she wasn't sure how and if it may affect my Endo. Do either if you ladies have any info you could share on this? Thanks DHEA is a base hormone from which all male and female hormones derive (that is not the exact description and hardly scientific but that is the gist). As women age their DHEA levels drop significantly. Endocrinologists have seen that supplementing the loss as it progresses can "turn back" the fertility clock. Again, not exactly, but it is believed to support the continuation of good quality eggs in those of us with poor reserve and/or premature ovarian failure. The jury is out on whether this is absolutely the case, the case for some, or the case for many but it has been giving results in the US and Europe for some time. Ideally you should have DHEA levels checked prior to starting the drug - they do that in the UK and US - but the general rule is a dosage of 25mg 3x a day. you should note that DHEA seems to help women whose specific fertility problem is related to age. ie - poor reserve or quality due to age and not younger women who suffer from egg quality issues that are environment related. I have read some studies that suggest it made the endo worse as it pumps more blood therefore more activity to the endometrium and other studies or comments about how it did not change the endo in many women. I have been taking it now for two weeks. There are side effects for some people, there are for me, but the thinking is to try for 3 months and then do a cycle and see if it improves odds. If after 4 months it does not best to come off of it regardless. It is a hormone after all and not to be played around with. I would begin looking at information/forum sites/studies that discuss side effects with endo. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:46
confusion - I posted this in a separate thread but here is the number for DHEA 04 447 5186.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:36
Ahahah you paint a very realistic picture! Seen this too many times - the elbowing for the crab legs at 600dhs a head brunches, the "ladies" too drunk to stand holding bottles of bubbles after they've gone "mine sweeping" (i.e. robbing bottles off tables) after last orders, come 4pm I've witnessed more than once women retching in the toilets, and more mutton dressed as lamb than I care to mention. I've had it with brunches - you can never eat that kind of value of food or drink and why would you want to? Spoils the whole weekend as well - too bloated / passed out by 5pm to do anything the rest of the day. My worst brunch experience was when I went with a whole bunch of Saffas and one was so hungover from the night before that when the obligatory round of shots came round, he downed his and promptly threw up. At the table. The waiter actually had to come round with a mop... so, is THIS classy? Personally I am of the "live and let live" mentality. Everyone knows the kind of person you will find in Double Deckers / Barasti etc and can avoid those places if they don't want to see that kind of behavior. Drinking brings out the worst in most people but let them get on with it. I like a drink and have been to and enjoyed brunches. Saying that, when I see middle aged old hags acting like drunken teenagers I have a secret snigger but it doesn't really bother me. What bothers me more is pretentious people who *think* they're classy when in Dubai you get the worst kind of noo money imaginable - those who treat their maids like c**p, who have no manners, who are uneducated oiks but because they live in a fancy manse think they are the bees knees. In my experience the people you describe above are the same people attending the brunches. I agree with your assessment of new money here. Never heard so many people eat their consonants while describing their new "flash" something.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:27
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-) So why is that classy? How do you get to decide that your version makes you classy? To begin with I was just trying to be funny - drinking at great expense versus a moshpit p** up. But to answer your question I think it is universally accepted that to get off your head at 35 or 40+ at an open air all you can drink binge in a belt as a skirt letting your mascara drip all over the margarita machines while your hips lip sync to ABBA cannot really be termed "classy" (which is a term I hate by the way). My comment was really less about my own self being classy and more about what it isn't. Lol...love this answer :) Thank you (takes a bow) [b'>in a belt as a skirt letting your mascara drip all over the margarita machines while your hips lip sync to ABBA cannot really be termed "classy[/b'> That has made my day so thank you Any time m'am!
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:26
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-) So why is that classy? How do you get to decide that your version makes you classy? To begin with I was just trying to be funny - drinking at great expense versus a moshpit p** up. But to answer your question I think it is universally accepted that to get off your head at 35 or 40+ at an open air all you can drink binge in a belt as a skirt letting your mascara drip all over the margarita machines while your hips lip sync to ABBA cannot really be termed "classy" (which is a term I hate by the way). My comment was really less about my own self being classy and more about what it isn't. Ahahah you paint a very realistic picture! Seen this too many times - the elbowing for the crab legs at 600dhs a head brunches, the "ladies" too drunk to stand holding bottles of bubbles after they've gone "mine sweeping" (i.e. robbing bottles off tables) after last orders, come 4pm I've witnessed more than once women retching in the toilets, and more mutton dressed as lamb than I care to mention. I've had it with brunches - you can never eat that kind of value of food or drink and why would you want to? Spoils the whole weekend as well - too bloated / passed out by 5pm to do anything the rest of the day. My worst brunch experience was when I went with a whole bunch of Saffas and one was so hungover from the night before that when the obligatory round of shots came round, he downed his and promptly threw up. At the table. The waiter actually had to come round with a mop... Oaf. A mop.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:21
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-) So why is that classy? How do you get to decide that your version makes you classy? To begin with I was just trying to be funny - drinking at great expense versus a moshpit p** up. But to answer your question I think it is universally accepted that to get off your head at 35 or 40+ at an open air all you can drink binge in a belt as a skirt letting your mascara drip all over the margarita machines while your hips lip sync to ABBA cannot really be termed "classy" (which is a term I hate by the way). My comment was really less about my own self being classy and more about what it isn't. Lol...love this answer :) Thank you (takes a bow)
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:12
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-) So why is that classy? How do you get to decide that your version makes you classy? oh dear LOL.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:11
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-) So why is that classy? How do you get to decide that your version makes you classy? To begin with I was just trying to be funny - drinking at great expense versus a moshpit p** up. But to answer your question I think it is universally accepted that to get off your head at 35 or 40+ at an open air all you can drink binge in a belt as a skirt letting your mascara drip all over the margarita machines while your hips lip sync to ABBA cannot really be termed "classy" (which is a term I hate by the way). My comment was really less about my own self being classy and more about what it isn't.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 14:01
I agree Ayzey. I have no problem with drinking copious amounts but I like to do it slowly, quietly, at a table in a nice atmosphere and at great expense :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:51
Not meaning to hijack this thread and distract from the original posting, but can anyone explain this sort of behavior? I have never in all my years of living in a variety of countries ever seen this sort of behavior been so widespread in single population or within the 30 to over 40 age group. Its shocking. I hate to also point out that its largely British. We passed by barasti last week and saw some equally horrible displays. [b'>What is it with Dubai?[/b'> It's not just in Dubai. Brit behaviour abroad is famous. I wonder if it can be narrowed down to county... is it not because they pay a certain amount to get in and then have 3hours to drink as much as they can to recoup that money? edited by hinze57 on 03/01/2013 So they are cheap?
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:50
(yes sorry Nicky!) Confusion, I am up there with you at 3 failures and a miscarriage at 4 months. I didn't know at all that I am supposed to take it only up to ovulation. Neither doctor mentioned that to me so thank you so much for mentioning it! Do you have any idea what the reasoning behind that is? Trouble is when I ovulate is always a big mystery even with the sticks. Sigh. Dh and I are trying to continue IVF this year without letting it ruin our lives. May I ask, if its not too personal, which of the doctors/clinics you used here in the UAE and which you found to be most helpful? After a long trip to a few clinics we have decided to suck up the stress and confusion and just go back to Fakih. This is such a hard journey that at times I realize NO doctor or clinic seems to be good enough for me no matter what they do or say. But I think I have come out the other side this year to realize that if the clinic is results driven that is all that matters. Who cares if I cannot understand them or they don't share any information with me :-) Good luck and don't worry about your year off your marriage is so much more important in the final analysis. Besides, maybe you will be another story in the long line of "we gave up and got pregnant naturally"
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:35
Not meaning to hijack this thread and distract from the original posting, but can anyone explain this sort of behavior? I have never in all my years of living in a variety of countries ever seen this sort of behavior so widespread in single population or within the 30 to over 40 age group. Its shocking. I hate to also point out that its largely British. We passed by barasti last week and saw some equally horrible displays. What is it with Dubai? <em>edited by fandrew on 03/01/2013</em>
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 13:04
Oh and I forgot - wheat grass. I am not much of a believer in the all organic no dairy no sugar route. The time I was pregnant I decided to come off an all protein diet and just eat what I liked. I think for us the real issue is egg quality and quantity an no amount of cake - or lack thereof - is going to turn that wheel in either direction as far as I am concerned :-) I think in all of our conversations on various threads I have lost track of where you have landed in terms of moving forward or cycles. Whatever you have decided to do I wish you all the best of luck. If you ever want to talk or vent I am here probably struggling along with you!
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 12:58
Wow Confusion that is amazing. I will definitely give her a ring. I imagine she is quite busy but here is hoping :-) Looking at the site now, thanks again for sharing! In terms of supplements here is where we are at the moment (I am sure none of the folowing will come as a surprise to you). CQ10 500 to 800 mg a day Royal Jelly 200mg DHEA 3 x a day 75 mg. I had heard of these supplements before - all are supposed to support egg quality and quantity in the older age groups (I am 40) - but I never really used them until this month. I intend to do this in conjunction with acupunture and try one more time and see how we go. After that, I think I need to just give up.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 12:30
A month ago a friend visited from London. Among our usual haunts for taking visitors we happened upon a five star hotel along the water hoping for a drink and some food. We had lost track of days and ended up there on a post brunch friday afternoon. God help us. Women of 'a certain age' barely covering up their bits cavorted around the terrace waving arms and wine glasses about while their male counterparts fell down the stairs to the terrace bar screaming and yelling about knickers, getting kits off and breaking glasses as they went. One particularly interesting moment was when one bloke stood up on a chair lifting his shirt to present a sizeable over 50 beer gut and breaking a rendition of Dancing Queen. Our guest looked at us and asked horrified "Is...is this the majority of the sorts from the west that populate Dubai" We looked humbly down at our wine glasses and murmured "Yes, I am afraid so" Given the ages of these people it is likely most had children here - or somewhere - we are being unkind to judge any of the teens here for their behavior when, frankly, these are their parents. My DH and I are certainly no strangers to tying one on and getting up to a good time but honestly? There are limits.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 January 2013 - 09:59
Thank you for the number confusion. I am watching this thread as I am considering starting up, if for nothing else to ease anxiety over fertility issues. Wondered if anyone know anything about Dubai Herbal Treatment Centre. DHTC or has any experience with them. Did a search but not much turned up.
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Latest post on 01 January 2013 - 13:00
My landlord has just increased our rent by about 16% which I thought was not allowed under RERA as it's such a large increase? The landlord did not register the contract with RERA last year (I believe it's caled Ijari) claiming I would have to pay 5% of the rent to RERA plus a percentage of the apartment value in application fees which was why he did not do it. Does anyone know if I can raise the increase in rent to RERA even though the contract was not registered with them? Does anyone know what the actual situation will be and whether I will have to pay something extra if our rental contract is registered with RERA ( or Ijari)? Much appreciated for all your help! Stefania You will have to consult RERA directly but I believe the answer to what may happen will depend on which was the last contract he did register with RERA. Meaning, is the least registered contract within the legal limits allowing a rent increase?
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 13:02
I cannot imagine what you're both going through, but have had friends and family suffer infertility and had IVF with no success. Maybe try what both my Uncle and a couple of our friends did. They took a break from all the trying for a baby and re-evaluated their lives. I'm guessing this would have been a very hard and heartbreaking decision, but it was taking over their lives and slowly wreaking their marriages. They told their families, so there would be no pressure from them. They started to enjoy their lives as a couple, taking all the stress away from trying for a baby. They went on holidays and started to settle for what they had and the pressure and stress went. Then, amazingly, a year or so afterwards, they found out they were pregnant and have each gone on to have a family of their own. Lucky, maybe or just because they took all the pressure and stress away, nature worked her little miracle. It goes to show, with all modern medicine such as IVF etc, the stress of having to fulfil your duty to become a parent can effect your bodies so much, it can cause infertility. In my uncle's case, (this was thirty odd years ago), they were told they had no chance of having a child, so they did adopt a newborn boy. However, 18 months later my aunt was pregnant with another little boy and then two years later gave birth to a little girl. They are all very close, and you would have no idea their first child was adopted (he always knew, but it never affected him). The doctors told her then, she probably fell pregnant due to the lack of stress and pressure on her to have a baby. She had had adopted the baby she always wanted and all that went away. What a lovely story Zannie, thank you so much for sharing. I do know a lot of people for whom that has worked and they are blessed!
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 11:26
Moth, Just found this thread again so sorry to be late in responding. I have been/am in the same situation as you and same age. Pregnant on first natural IVF cycle but miscarried due to trisomy then responded poorly to medication IVF and was told to go away as well and now contemplating another try and/or natural cycles. The numbers are not with us, true, but the numbers for IVF with medications are better based on the many women who produce multiple eggs during a medicated cycle. It just means that the more eggs you have to work with in one cycle incrases odds of one of those eggs taking. However, it takes only one egg and many doctors maintain that the one egg your body produces can often do the job for you. Give it a try you have nothing to lose. <em>edited by fandrew on 30/12/2012</em>
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 11:09
I think a 20 min drive for sure because at the moment you can sit there for around 5 sometimes 10 mins trying to get through road works and once through its easy and free flowing until the traffic lights past Dubai mall and then I have to go to ther side of Difc so depending on your dh's office location and timing of commute it could be just 15/20 mins and he'll be going against the traffic so in my opinion it's a very easy commute. By the way on your map the al khail road is also shown as the 44 Thank you thank you this is all so helpful! :-)
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 10:55
Hi ladies Hope all are well. Yesterday (7dp3dt) I was asked to come in for my first beta hcg test, my result was 3.3 (needs to be above 5 for a positive pregnancy). The nurse told me that is early to get a positive but it sometimes shows for 20% of people. She said it isn’t a bad number as it is not 0. Which means something is happening and that I need to come back in 2 days for another test. Also my estrogen decreased from 1000+ to 380 and progesterone went from 60 to 28 in 4 days. Of course when I got the news I started crying and getting depressed. Today I’m trying to be stronger and stay positive :) I would like to know when was your first beta hcg test and what were the results. Thanks in advance T85 first of all congratulations on your positive test. I tested on a stick before 7dp3dt and got a positive then two days later was brought in at this time for a blood test which was positive. My numbers were high and kept doubling but the nurses were quick to tell me that EVERYONE has different levels and numbers. We are all different and as long as it doubles it doesn't matter what your initial number was. It also has nothing to do with miscarriage possibilities in the future - as I sadly miscarried with very high numbers so please don't fret and fingers crossed!
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 10:32
I've not been into houses but they look very nice from the polo club. I can't imagine there's any road noise just noise when there's a polo match on as they overlook the green. I travel from ar to difc and most mornings it takes around 20/25 mins and will be quicker when al khail road is fully open which according to today's newspaper will be jan 4th. Good to know, thank you! Does the road - this al khail road - look like it will actually be open by then? what will the travel time be once open, any idea?
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 10:26
Yes, you can pre-cook them. If you need them tomorrow then look in the freezers in C4, they freeze them whole. If they are for a salad, it is nice to have the entire lobster, as the claw meat looks fancy as decoration and tastes the best too. This is great thanks for all the help!
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 10:19
I would suggest that you buy them live, it really pays to have lobster fresh. You can get them live in C4 and sometimes whole cooked frozen ones, but they take time to defrost. Spinneys did have some whole cooked ones in packs, but they looked dubious to me. Be careful about just buying lobster tails, they could have been knocking around a while. Thank you captain. If I am serving the meat in a salad tomorrow evening may I cook them tonight and put in the fridge? Sorry for all the questions know nothing about lobster!
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 09:47
I think these are the new large homes just completed that surround the polo fields at the polo club opp the main AR communities. They look huge. As you drive into the polo club main driveway they are over to the right, around the fields. Let us know what they are like! The new ones sold off the plan recently are called Casa and are further up al Qudra road, behind the current AR edited by Cherry ripe on 30/12/2012 Will do Cherry! Online they looked quite good, decent inside with actual attractive decor.
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 09:42
I may be wrong but I thought the AR Polo homes were the new houses to be built adjacent to the current AR and opposite the Polo Club. I dont think they've started yet. They were only sold off-plan recently. There are no Polo homes in AR at the moment that I am aware of. AR is a large development with many small communities within an overall development. There are homes from 1.5million Dhs up to 7-8 million so quite a variety. Why not just drive out for a visit. House Hunters, a real estate agent, has a stall in the community shopping centre. They have a handy little map and will be able to give you the low down on rental options. Thank you Plum! I think there are some built already as they are listed for rent with actual photos on some of the sites. I should just drive (not well today and a lot to do before the NYE) DH is worried that its too far out from DIFC and Dubai in general. Also doesn't like the cookie cutter aspect but really in Dubai what choice to we have. Its either prison ugly villas in jumeirah or attractive but cookie cutter houses in freezones, thus why we are building. Sigh... I will definitely take a look and visit the house hunters stall.
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 09:34
Hilsbils and confusion so very sorry to hear we are all in the same boat. HB I wanted to offer up what we are doing now as a possibility along with taking a break. We have decided to contemplate what a life of child free living would really be like. During our break we are going to try and put ourselves in the mind frame of 'no children' and build our daily life out from there. If at the end we feel more than OK with it we may just continue. If we feel devastated we will re evaluate. This was suggested by a couple who have decided to stop IVF who we are close to as well as by a therapist. Sometimes IVF becomes so all encompassing its nearly impossible to imagine or accept the alternative but sometimes taking a step back and starting to "grieve" can lead you to a new path, realignment of purpose or renewed strength and drive to continue. As always I wish you all the very very best!
fandrew
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Latest post on 30 December 2012 - 09:26
Good morning! Does anyone have any experience or feedback on these homes? How far are they from the main road, are they very close together, finishing etc.? We need somewhere to live while we build with a pool and more than one maids room. Any experience of those who are living in them or in AR in general would be helpful. Believe it or not we have never stepped foot in AR. I know I have to visit but wanted to ask here first for any inside scoop on the atmosphere. Thanks!
fandrew
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Latest post on 29 December 2012 - 11:55
DH just said you might do well ordering online from abroad. Cheaper :-)
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Latest post on 29 December 2012 - 11:51
busybee - I can try and find out but it may take some time. as things are with us my mother in law doesn't actually know names of where she eventually buys from but is brought samples and chooses. I can try to delve deeper though and get back to you. If I find out I will post with your name in subject line!
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Latest post on 29 December 2012 - 11:44
Try some of the furniture stores in Al Quoz. Cannot remember exactly where we got them but a store not far from the marina outlet. Al Taif in Ras al Khor is where brother in law got his. I do know if you search for home theatre and abu dhabi you will get a better selection, I know mother in law had loads to choose from there. GL!
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Latest post on 29 December 2012 - 11:24
While by no means an expert I think even a cursory understanding of terrorism and security issues globally allows one to assume that this sort of thing, this arrest, these cells being watched and arrested happens far more regularly here than we hear about. We are in a far more watched region - nowhere else would they have easily identifable 20 minutes of video of a group of assassins from another country entering an airport, wandering a hotel corridor etc etc. My guess would be that releasing this latest incident has much more to do with sending others a message. I feel much safer here for a variety of reasons. Here is the trade off between a country with extensive civil rights and rights to privacy. Your privacy and your personal freedoms are restricted - but then that means everyone else's is as well which makes the ability to watch and arrest groups like these a far easier thing.
fandrew
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Latest post on 28 December 2012 - 11:23
Try a David Mamet play. He is not entirely a monologue writer I am sure you may be able to find something.
fandrew
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 December 2012 - 11:16
Hilsbils, I have watched and read your posts over the last few months with such interest and heartache I am just so sorry to hear that you feel things are at such an impasse. I suppose your posts hit home for me as coincidentally we were both going through the same series of events only a few months apart. I too am over 40 and trying to conceive, was successful fairly early on but with a doomed outcome followed by a series of additional IVF failed cycles. The entire journey is heart wrenching. The emotional toll on your own psyche is tremendous and what it threatens to do to ones marriage is equally upsetting. It is a constant wave of hope, failure, despair and then trying to get the courage and hope up to do it again, fail again, and endure the pain of failure once again. And of course with each failed cycle hovers the ominous reality that this, may not, just ever, work. I am not certain I have much advice but merely wanted to let you know that you are absolutely not alone in this. It sounds as if you are not convinced that this will not work but that your husband is just tired of the process and ready to give up earlier. I echo what some others have said in my suggestion to take some time away from the cycling do something that has nothing to do with babies or pregnancy. maybe a trip, maybe just a few nights out. Give the topic and its emotional toll a rest. Once you do this and get some distance from it I would bet your husband might have the energy to give it another go. <em>edited by fandrew on 28/12/2012</em>
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 28 December 2012 - 11:06
Just for clarity - why is " our duty" in your title? I think the implication is what is her duty to her marriage versus her duty to herself and her wishes to have children.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 27 December 2012 - 09:33
Hi Jade. I agree their facilities as well as the western style communication is very impressive. Why we have decided not to return is very specific and personal to our case and not really an overall opinion of their abilities or professionalism. They are a new clinic and openly concerned about success rates and establishing their reputation in the region. I was told by one of the staff members that they were very worried that everyone so far through the door was over 35 because they wanted to get their numbers up and that group is not an easy "get". As a result they seem less inclined to treat or pursue difficult cases. They treated me with a protocol which failed after four days to produce a good result. They then merely repeated the same failed protocol which of course failed once again and then told me I was beyond help. Fair enough as I am not an easy case. We had initially sought out an alternate clinic precisely for the reasons described in your response below - transparency, ease of communication and a more western style medical environment. They do that to a T but in the end, for us at least, results and an aggressive doctor bent on success with us as well as the easy gets are more important than an attractive environment. <em>edited by fandrew on 27/12/2012</em>
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 22 December 2012 - 09:13
Hi ladies thank you for your replies. @Fandrew . Is it safe to assume if i wait to day till day 5 and none survive that the same would have happened in the uterus? Or is being in the uterus , natural environment, might have a positive effect? Also why would anyone transfer on day 3 and wait for 2 weeks for a result they would know if they waited till day 5 for the transfer? Sooo many questions in my head... I pray that whatever happens its for the best. Thanks again The uterus is always a better environment, in fact the lab tries to recreate that environment by scraping bits of its cells during the retreival to place in the petri dish. Glad to hear you are off today for transfer, best of luck to you I am sending out prayers for you! In the final analysis IVF is not an exact science and doctors do not know a lot of reasons why some things work for some people or not for others or what would make an embryo arrest at 5 days but not 3 etc. Its always safe to put back whatever you have and go from there unless PGD is something you want to do - in which case day 5 is the best time frame to wait. Let us know how you go and good luck again!
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 December 2012 - 10:53
Chez Toi - I have used them a number of times and they are fabulous.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 21 December 2012 - 09:14
This is the clinic I went to and was successful, VUB Brussels, http://www.brusselsivf.be/default.aspx?lang=EN I think they do IVF up to age 45. They have an International Department to assist overseas patients. ARGC in London. IVI in Valencia (also have an International Department) These were the 3 top European clinics when I started cycling 10 years ago, might have changed now though, but google them and see. Cornell in New York is the renowned as the best infertility clinic worldwide, I think they have a special unit for 'older' patients. If I remember correctly, they will do an initial phone consult if you can get your medical file to them. CCRM in Denver, they have amazing success rates for the 'older' patient. The very best of luck to all of you struggling with infertility. This is wonderful thank you so much for the information!
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 19:24
Hi about freezing I have asked in Fakih IVF, it is not done, only freezing of eggs and sperm. In Sharjah in 2 clinics they told me it is done as long as they have a valid reason, such as very low sperm count, low egg reserve, in my opinion we wouldn’t be going through IVF except if there is some reason so I wouldn’t worry about it. in summary yes they do embryo freezing in Sharjah. I have no information about Abu Dhabi. Ladies I have a question, I got a call from the clinic saying that they want to schedule my ET for Saturday (3 day) but after all my research online I prefer a 5-day transfer, they told me as I only have 4 fertilized till now 3 or 5 day doesn’t matter. But the embryologist said I will take your preference into account, on Saturday morning I will check the embryos and if they all look OK then we will keep them in the lab and do a 5-day transfer, but if only 2 or 3 look good then we will go ahead and transfer on Saturday. Now to the question… do you prefer a 3 day or 5 day transfer? And which did you actually do and was it a success ? thanks T85 I believe that some doctors feel that if the embryo will make it to 5 days it will make it in or out of the uterus to day 5 making the transfer day (3 or 5) a non issue. Keeping an embryo until day 5 for transfer in the lab is only really important in terms of doing PGD testing. Other doctors feel that transfering on day 5 yields better results because the embryo is more developed and not as fragile for transfer while other doctors feel that the only reason the results from 5 day transfer are higher is because the embryo is strong - thus survived until day 5 but would have done regardless of whether it was in uterus or lab. Does that make sense?
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 19:12
Not being a gourmet, I was hoping you might be able to help me, ladies. Have a friend in town looking to take his family (kids are 13, 11, 8) out to dinner on Sat night. Staying at The Palace. Any suggestions for a memorable night out that will appeal to Mum, Dad and the munchkins? As always, TIA. Maybe wander right over to souk al bahar to one of the restaurants overlooking the fountains. Good food for parents and entertainment for the kids? Or Tagine - romantic but fun for everyone at one and only.
 
 
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