fandrew | ExpatWoman.com
 

fandrew

fandrew
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 19:11
Thank you everyone for all the responses. Confusion, I am so sorry and I know exactly how you feel. As the cycles come and go without success or, worse, with a loss it becomes more and more difficult to face the day :( That you are taking a break and focusing on YOU is a very good idea. We need to recharge after a certain point or we are not helping anyone. A lot of encouraging words here and I am very appreciative. I think being told that donor was my only chance stung after two failures I wasn't aware they would write me off so quickly. If you don't mind could you give me the name of the brussels clinic? Luckily we have the means to travel elsewhere I have been discussing the states but if anyone has names of clinics in europe that would be less travel for DH :-) Any suggestions welcome!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 16:32
Hello! Sheri here. My husband and I are coming to Dubai for a vacation in February, also looking for possible retirement spots. It will be our first time. I have a few questions about bringing prescription medications into the UAE . I've been doing some online research and I noticed that a couple medications that I'd like to bring are on the list of controlled medications; Buspar for me and Xanax for hubby(plane ride). Both anti anxiety meds. I also take some hormone replacement therapy(2 pills). So, my questions are....How strict are they at customs? If I bring them and they happen to deny them, will they let me toss them out at the airport or do they confiscate them? Or do they send you back home to get rid of them? If they take them, can I get them prescribed in Dubai? Dont want to spend my vacation going to doctors! Are there some steps I should take to get them approved to carry into Dubai, like contacting the Ministry of Health? I already will be getting a notorized letter from my Dr.s and the print out from my pharmacy, but does it hold any weight? I want to enjoy my time in Dubai and not have to worry about having an anxiety attack!:) I think the papers you have will be fine so long as you are not bringing a lot in and the prescription on the bottle matches your ID. There may be someone else along with more information but I believe that will be fine.
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 16:17
Dear All, Hi I am new to this forum's website though an old timer in Dubai. Just wanted to know if anyone has had a positive result with Bourn Hall clinic? We are due for an appointment next Thursday. Just wanted an idea about the success rates. (Wish there was some Fertility Authority in Dubai/ UAE!!) Prior to this we used to go to DGFC, Dr Mohd Kalyoubi, and a fertility hospital in Jordan. Thanks. This is an old post Jade - but I am scouring EW for IVF stuff and found this. I just completed a trial there with them. We have decided not to return but if you have questions let me know
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 16:14
Hi, I am looking to book a holiday next year and wondered if anyone could recommend any good travel agents. Thank you destinology! :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 15:07
Ah I see! Yes I am afraid there are no options really - especially not donating to someone else, that is why they outlawed freezing to begin with :-) If you want options you might want to find a clinic in Abu Dhabi or Sharjah. And good luck to you whichever route you choose!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 14:56
I have a question about IVF in Dubai... What are the options for the embryos that arent implanted??? I have not had a consult yet to ask about this and have read mixed things about it. Thanks Dubai has outlawed the freezing of embryos. There was a time when this was allowed but the courts now feel that frozen embryos interfere with the lineage. I believe Abu Dhabi still allows the freezing of embryos as does Sharjah but you will have to verify this. So unfortunately here in Dubai any that are not implanted will be destroyed. Thank you for that info, I would think that if anything Dubai would be against destroying them. Do you know if there is any other options like donating them for science.. etc??? I wonder if you do the IVF in Dubai if the embryos can be frozen somewhere else, like Sharjah, or even another country. Personally I am more interested in donationg than I am freezing though. While I am not an authority on this, I believe that the embryos must be "used" as it were in the same emirate in which they were created. Meaning, if you do IVF in dubai and create embryos after egg retrieval those emrbyos must remain in the dubai. I believe you must do the IVF in sharjah to be given the freedom under sharjah laws to freeze them. Donating to science? I am not sure I understand in what cases this would be done. I don't think the UAE is big on embryo/pregnancy/scientific IVF research :-) I know what you mean about the destruction and how odd it is that they would prefer that. Primarily it seems their concern is that that the embryos - while being housed for use at a future date - might become mixed up thereby implanting the embryo of one couple into the uterus of another.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 14:53
Thank you for sharing this Claire and congratulations on such a wonderful family! I tried a new clinic because I felt that I needed to be in an environment where my questions were answered and where I knew basic things such as what my dosage was and what the medication was that I was one etc.. But as you said they have the better results so it was probably an error on my part to have gone elsewhere. Well perhaps the new year will bring new things. For now, as you suggested, we are going to take a much needed break :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 13:58
I have a question about IVF in Dubai... What are the options for the embryos that arent implanted??? I have not had a consult yet to ask about this and have read mixed things about it. Thanks Dubai has outlawed the freezing of embryos. There was a time when this was allowed but the courts now feel that frozen embryos interfere with the lineage. I believe Abu Dhabi still allows the freezing of embryos as does Sharjah but you will have to verify this. So unfortunately here in Dubai any that are not implanted will be destroyed.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 13:33
T85 - I was on all of the medications you listed, every single last one. I know it seems a lot but it won't be forever. As another posted mentioned its not about how many eggs you retrieved its about the quality and it only takes ONE. You have a very very good chance of success! Also try to relax there isn't much you will be able to do to effect the outcome so just go with it and try to find little thins to distract you - favorite foods, movies etc. Good luck!
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 13:12
Hi fandrew I'm a Fakih patient, I fully agree with the other ladies about him, if you do email or text him and mention your concerns he does get back to you ASAP. What I have done in the past is see his wife dr Amal who is a wonderful woman I've both their contacts if you want them After seeing dgcf and speaking with Bourne hall I honestly still feel Fakih is the only one to help us achieve our dreams Good luck I hope you get some answers and advice soon edited by nickym1d on 17/12/2012 Thanks everyone! I had forgotten this thread and now feel a bit better. I will go back to Fakih for one last shot and then maybe give up. :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 12:55
Only your Doctors can advise to continue or stop based on your medical history. However here is something that may help. Two of my closest friends both spent years having nearly every procedure known to man to get pregnant. One spent 5 years the other three years. The procedures were very invasive and put huge stress on both parties. Both were told to stop and take a break, both were told the chances of getting preggers naturally were almost zero. Once treatment stopped and they had come to terms with the reality they both got pregnant and have both delivered. Normal pregnancies and one has had another child. One was 40 the other 36, both had tried for years naturally. The point of telling you this is that sometimes there are no answers and just sometimes the weirdest things can happen. Good luck. Maybe post on an IVF forum or mumsnet. Cheers I suppose this really is sort of up to me. No one never knows do they> Thanks for sharing the stories though, encouraging :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 12:49
I keep hearing of people who have "jet-setter" bosses with PA's working from home. I would love to do something like that, but any idea where one would look for a job like that? I am not an authority on this, but in my personal experience here with the economy the way it is now the opportunity to have a flexible from home job seems to be disappearing. Dh has always had a PA but in recent years their work load has increased as the pay has lowered and the options for flexibility are no longer there. I could be wrong (sounds like a good gig!) but I think its very hard to find good PA jobs nowadays and even more difficult to find one with that sort of perk :( Shouldn't stop you from looking though. Check financial companies that is where the bulk of those jobs will be - good luck!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 12:07
The houses are definitely odd and such a waste of space!! Plus we had really boring neighbours and the dog and I got frustrated with all the cleaners, gardens, repair guys that came all the time. I just wasnt use to people walking in all the time and got caught a few times in my pj's (very embarassing!). We are still on the Palm but in an apartment and DH still swims just not as often, we go to the palace beach, its a short drive and lovely. DH gets at least a 1k swim in whilst I frolic in the water trying to not look like a beached whale! hehehe.... Beached whale..I say that all the time about myself :-) The houses are such a shame all seem to be built at 3/4 size with "decor" tacked on. A lot of attempts to make the interior "grand" but it just fails miserably and ends up looking incredibly tacky. What a complete waste they could have made them exceptional. But then isn't that the way with all villas in Dubai...which is why we are just going to build and call it a day! Glad to hear he still gets his swim in!
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 11:33
We use to live on one of the fronds and my DH would swim every day, from one end of the frond to the other, regardless of the time of the year. He was usually out there on his own and would come across someone in a canoe very rarely. We would have friends over in summer and sit in the water with a cool beverage, wasnt a problem. The only time we didnt venture in the shallows was when the stringrays started to migrate to the fronds and there are some times of the year that there is a froth or seaweed around, none of this stopped DH but then again he's a lunatic when it comes to water. LOL great post and thank you also for the great info. My DH is also a lunatic about the water. We live on the beach now and he is in the water everyday so for him the palm was nice option - shame about the houses though :( Odd looking no?
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 11:00
We have had very good luck with our maid and cook from bangladesh. Fashion you should get a referral from a friend who has a great helper. This is how we were led to both of ours. Good luck!
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 20 December 2012 - 10:38
We live at Tiara on the Palm. We have a pool and a private beach for the apartment complex. I know people swim at our beach but TBH at the moment it's not that warm so most people will choose the pool as it's heated. Heaps of people swim at Shoreline beach all the time - just looked out the window and there are people swimming at shoreline right now. Not sure about the fronds though as they don't have a delineated swimming area so maybe boats come in closer to the beach..... Hmm. I could see how those areas you mention are perfectly fine for swimming but the fronds just seem as if they are sitting on very small and stagnant pools of sea water. even farther out where houses are on the tip of the fronds we have never seen anyone in the sea water. In fact all of the agents we have posed this question to have been cagey in their answers. Thank you maybe someone who lives on a frond will wander by and offer up some insight! :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 December 2012 - 17:04
Maroosh - do you have any idea how much material I would need for an abaya? Lets say not the straight simple ones but a very full one with perhaps gathering at the front? I would prefer to make them in silk rather than the synthetic because these will be special occasions around a wedding. Agree totally about jalabiya underneath feels and looks much better. I don't know how my sisters-in-law manage jeans and huge heels underneath! I need something flowy that billows out from the lower part :-)
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 19 December 2012 - 16:53
Thank you!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:40
Thanks for your help, FAndrew. :-) Good luck!
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 14:35
Yes you will find the strength to heal ! Let the time do it's work and, you, try to change your mind with things that you like and that can bring you some smiles in this sad time It can be anything from a nice little hug from your husband, watching a movie or tv series you love and eating lots of cake, have a walk outside or at the mall This baby is still your baby, it is just that she has gone elsewhere... You have given her a name this is wonderful ! , you can also speak to her, you can send her prayers that she transmits to God My love and prayers are with you So sorry for you Chiara, it can be devastating. As someone who has been through something very similar and a little farther along than you I know how closed and dead and dark the world can feel. One word of advice - you may be underestimating the power of your hormones at the moment, or rather the utter depression and loss of hope that frankly is being created by a sudden drop in a high hormone level from a pregnancy that far along. This is not in any way to diminish the real emotional toll this is taking as a loss - I remember feeling almost instantly better after a few weeks had passed and my hormones had balanced back out to normal. Hang in there, it does get better.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:37
Thank you FAndrew. I did google international mortgages but I am afraid of getting scammed. I am wondering if anyone has any personal recommendations. Maybe I am just approaching this all in the wrong way. I have been told that I need to get an international mortgage but I have no idea where to start. I can't be the first non-resident buying a property in the USA?? Rather than do it yourself why not get an invested partner - a real estate agent in the area you wish to buy - it will be in their best interest to secure an international mortgage for you. I have approached RE agents in my hometown who have assured me they can help me with this. Thank you FAndrew. I know the RE agent of the house I want to buy personally but she is a very small town person. But I will ask her. That could be a good first step. Good luck. If you or she still are stumped I would google 'foreign buyers manhattan apartment'. Loads of information about foreign purchasers of home in NYC. Those requirements will hold true for anyone buying from a foreign country.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:30
Thank you FAndrew. I did google international mortgages but I am afraid of getting scammed. I am wondering if anyone has any personal recommendations. Maybe I am just approaching this all in the wrong way. I have been told that I need to get an international mortgage but I have no idea where to start. I can't be the first non-resident buying a property in the USA?? Rather than do it yourself why not get an invested partner - a real estate agent in the area you wish to buy - it will be in their best interest to secure an international mortgage for you. I have approached RE agents in my hometown who have assured me they can help me with this.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:21
If you do a search for International Mortgages there looks to be a few companies who provide this service depending on your home country and where you plan to purchase a home. You might want to approach them first rather than a bank here or a branch of a US bank located here - they will not understand nor be able to help you.
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:03
Worse than annoying MIL are annoying needy SIL At least MIL can be credited with raising a man worthy of marriage and your love SIL on the other hand - I just don't know Mine decided to visit me when my second child was born - but instead of pampering the kids and occupying no1, she spent her time shopping for her kids (with me driving her around and the 2 little babies in tow ), or re-arranging my house, she's short - so most of the kitchen items were placed in low cupboards, I'm tall so bending after a c-section was not fun! And her reasoning - she's finicky like that, so instead of relaxing and catching up on sleep I had a SIL who kept me up while she re-arranged my house - and now she is always telling on bb how tough their life is financially (but i think lots of dxb. expats of "family" like that tho so if you have a nice set of "in-laws" treasure them! Agreed. My MIL is a saint. SIL however. Ewwwww.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 13:03
The Bourne Hall in England has an excellent reputation and was founder of IVF with excellent results, if the one here is connected/run by the English one it should be good. Thank you KB100. I think I may be hoping for a miracle here :-)
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 12:51
Anybody...Bueller.....Bueller..
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 09 December 2012 - 08:12
I was wondering if any of you are currently undergoing treatment with them and what your experience has been so far and especially in comparison to the other options here in Dubai. We have just started out with them and while the experience in terms of communication and transparency is well beyond (pleasantly) what we have experienced in other clinics I wondered if there was anyone farther along with them who could speak to other aspects. I realize they are new so success rates won't be available for at least a year but any information - at all - would be greatly appreciated! And good luck to all those undergoing treatment in any of the centers here!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 11:43
I believe there is an Emirati cookbook in English at MORE cafe. I bought it a year or so ago and gave it to the cook and he makes all of DHs favorites! I will get the title of it if anyone is interested.
fandrew
207
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 11:37
Palace Hotel in the Old Town. It is a brunch, buffet, free bubbles etc. But always lovely, quite, excellent food. Very classy and no boozing at all. edited by Oopsiedaisy on 02/12/2012 Thank you so much everyone for these suggestions. DH and I are looking for a meal though not a brunch menu or getting up for food just regular service but on a friday. It may very well be this is just no longer possible. Oh well. Thanks again!
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 02 December 2012 - 10:46
Desert Palm does a brunch that is lovely and very civilised. Very different from the normal crowds of people and far too much boozing. I've never seen anyone look inebriated despite plenty of very good bevvies on offer. It's not quite what you asked for but it doesn't have that typical atmosphere so you might like it. We love it! Thank you Emmsie!
fandrew
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Latest post on 13 October 2012 - 20:56
Yes Bohoin I hear you. Not sure where you are originally from but Fakih and medicine in this country in general is a rude awakening to those of us used to professionalism and organization of medical doctors and clinics. The disorganization and miscommunication is frustrating but when they make errors which are inevitable when people are not reading files correctly or paying attention to protocol it can be devastating.
fandrew
207
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Latest post on 09 October 2012 - 07:51
I am Fatima, I am working as software engineer with a small company registered in Dubai Media City Free Zone. My contract was unlimited and I have already completed 1.5 years with my employer. Due to business loss, my employer given me 30 days termination notice period and I found a new opportunity within 10 days and agreed to join due to termination notice. Now my company got some business and wants me to ignore their written notice and continue my job but I refused due to new job offer from a multinational company. Now my company is threating to stop my two months’ salary, they are paying salary in 45 days arrear after the end month. (October salary will get on 15th December). Please share if any legal way to handle this threat given by my employer before visa cancellation. I’ll appreciate if you propose any plate form or department to peruse this case. PS: I have signed two contracts with company, one is with Media City Free Zone with less salary and other directly with employer for actual salary which is 4 times higher than mentioned in Media City. I have all the bank statement with actual salary transfer. edited by fatimaali on 08/10/2012 Fatima - you are entitled to your pay regardless of what your company is threatening you with to keep you after terminating you. Go directly to either the Ministry of Labor or to the freezone department office to file an official complaint. This should take care of everything. Do not give them your passport for visa cancellation. They may tell you that legally you "have to" give it to them but this is not the case. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 19:15
I would like to, but particularly since moving here, no I don't. I really have to understand what everyone means by this. I really don't see how Dubai - specifically - exhibits gross negligence in this area.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 17:46
No not at all. I believe in fate, I believe that my life has been planned out by my Creator. And that's it:) I do believe in getting what you earned if you know what I mean.. So you don't believe it has anything to do with how you behave or what you do? If I believed that, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning! I am a firm believer that whatever is written for me will happen. I know I will be punished or rewarded for my actions, in this life or on the Day of Judgement. But that is not karma. It is difficult for me to imagine a benevolent creator would intentionally plan out the abduction abuse and death of a child. My view is that - hopefully - our creator is far too busy to plan out every step of our lives. I am hopeful that his intention when creating us in his own "image" was to instill in each of us free will. We exercise that gift to the benefit and detriment of ourselves and others and the outcome is what we are judged upon. If every single move in our lives has been entirely mapped out by our creatorthen what on earth could we possibly be judged for on "judgement day"? I think we are judged on the choices we made. <em>edited by fandrew on 07/10/2012</em>
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 17:10
Bit of a spa junkie and as of late I have been enjoying fairly regular treatments at the ottoman talise at zabeel saray. In my opinion it is probably the most exotic spa here and its where I take all of our visitors. The other Talise is also very lovely but in recent years I have felt the sales tactics have become aggressive plus its clear they only have a small roster of regular therapists and then switch in freelancers for busy weekends. Sadly the quality as a result has dropped.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 17:02
No - seen enough evidence of the unfairness of life living here. People who are completely unqualified earning ridiculous salaries while educated well experienced people can't find work. People who can't have children who are amazing and responsible vs the people who cram their kids into cars unbuckled and have no concern for their childrens' safety etc etc LOL. While amusing this is rather UAE specific don't you think :-) Yeh - it would be depressing to let it get to me tho so I try to cruise along in my bubble saying it's none of my business but it does annoy me sometimes. I also don't believe we necessarily get what we "deserve". Otherwise why would so many people get cancer and why would small children like April Jones get abducted by sickos. We have to make our own luck I think. And life does have a funny way of sometimes throwing us a bone and rewarding us when we least expect it - part of the magical unpredictability I suppose :) Eh the stereotype of grossly under educated people getting plush jobs while degreed people waste away here is sort of exacerbated by urban myth and social gossip. Don't let it get you down there are injustices in all areas all over the world. Certainly didn't mean to suggest we get what we deserve in terms of punishment. I meant that in the end we all end up with the kind of life we want - whether we realize it or not I believe that our lives are not a result of fate but of choices we make or lack thereof. Reward and punishment of course is different horrible episodes like cancer or abduction are indeed luck as you say.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 16:57
No - seen enough evidence of the unfairness of life living here. People who are completely unqualified earning ridiculous salaries while educated well experienced people can't find work. People who can't have children who are amazing and responsible vs the people who cram their kids into cars unbuckled and have no concern for their childrens' safety etc etc LOL. While amusing this is rather UAE specific don't you think :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 16:49
Karma? Thanks to Derien, I'm curious. How many of you believe that people get what they deserve? I am a firm believer in making your own "fate". You have to paddle your own canoe in life in order to get where you might want to go. I also tend to believe that no one really gets what they deserve. No good deed goes unpunished and a**holes lives forever.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 15:46
You say you will just work as PA to tide you over; sorry to say it but you wont be able to get a decent PA job without UAE experience. Not necessarily, it is difficult for any of us to know what her skill set is or what her circumstance might be should she apply. I know many people who have taken PA jobs in recent months while waiting for something in their industry to open up. Its a fairly common move during economic downturns.
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 October 2012 - 15:43
anyone knows whom to call regarding housemaid law?? What do you mean by housemaid law? You will have to explain the situation in order for anyone to help you. Depending on the circumstance it could fall under labor or criminal.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 09:30
I do not believe that the OP is who she says she/he is. I would imagine that this is someone looking for information on racism and locals and foreigners married to locals. I would suggest that we proceed with the utmost caution, until more is revealed. Why should you all get sucked in so quickly? Are you so gullible that you believe everyone on this forum are yummy Mummies in Jumeirah waiting to welcome you? The OP is prefectly capable of doing her own research on Dubai and Emiratis, without asking ladies to disclose their private lives. Besides this, no two Emiratis are the same. Is he a no.1 or no.2? Is he in fact local? It appears that he is none of the above. Fair enough and I suppose your caution is a reasonable approach. I think I became sucked in as it were because before I arrived there was precious little anywhere to guide me with regard to what it was truly like to be a western woman married to a local. My own husband was terribly ill equipped to guide me much as he tried poor thing. As it turned out my life remained pretty much the same as it had at home but I was concerned about what I might find. I suppose I felt a tug at my heart string for the OP. Of course CA you are right, not a lot was disclosed and it was slightly vague :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 09:07
True but in the final analysis there is nothing that can be done regardless so best not to worry herself. I honestly doubt any mother out there denies her children food unless they are already seriously overweight which - sad to say - is very much the case here with young children. Perhaps the mother has only put them on a diet after years of poor nutrition. You reckon? I used to work in a nursery school and with quite a few children, the school dinners were the only meal they were getting every day. We very often sent home extra food with some as we knew they weren't getting fed at home. I don't doubt that is the case and how terrible (was this a nursery here?) but as this is a family with a nanny and the menu is clearly calorie restricted it seems unlikely or even impossible that the issue is lack of funds to feed the children, which it sounds like was the case for those children.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 09:04
There were some parts of your post that I considered quite alarming (and I don't mean any disrespect). You say that the man is the "love of your life" yet you're "years off" from meeting each others' families. It seems that he hasn't proposed to you, or at least you haven't discussed the matter of the move or his family's possible attitude toward your relationship which I find rather odd. You're also considering changing your religion for him (you say you're doing it for yourself but once again I think his role is quite significant). You also seem to be ready to just drop the entire relationship if things prove to be too hard. Lots of contradictions in other words, which makes it rather difficult to offer any guidance or advice. You should really be asking him most of this anyway. (also it does seem unusual that a local would spend years away from the UAE as some people have pointed out... though I could be wrong about that). I agree with Cheezu and reiterate what I and she have said which is please speak to him about his intentions regarding you - and especially his intentions as how you would be expected to live your life here should you become his wife. These were major concerns for me and I would have gotten nowhere had my DH and I not had a good discussion about every aspect. It could be that her SO has been out of the country for so long pursuing a higher degree, a lot in this generation (mid 30 early 40) have done this. Although we would need to hear back from OP about all of this and I think she may have gone missing :-) True but she said he's been living in the UK ever since he turned 8 along with his whole family. That part I found a little odd. Huh, true. Sounds then as if he may be asian.
fandrew
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Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 08:52
True but in the final analysis there is nothing that can be done regardless so best not to worry herself. I honestly doubt any mother out there denies her children food unless they are already seriously overweight which - sad to say - is very much the case here with young children. Perhaps the mother has only put them on a diet after years of poor nutrition.
fandrew
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 07:59
There were some parts of your post that I considered quite alarming (and I don't mean any disrespect). You say that the man is the "love of your life" yet you're "years off" from meeting each others' families. It seems that he hasn't proposed to you, or at least you haven't discussed the matter of the move or his family's possible attitude toward your relationship which I find rather odd. You're also considering changing your religion for him (you say you're doing it for yourself but once again I think his role is quite significant). You also seem to be ready to just drop the entire relationship if things prove to be too hard. Lots of contradictions in other words, which makes it rather difficult to offer any guidance or advice. You should really be asking him most of this anyway. (also it does seem unusual that a local would spend years away from the UAE as some people have pointed out... though I could be wrong about that). I agree with Cheezu and reiterate what I and she have said which is please speak to him about his intentions regarding you - and especially his intentions as how you would be expected to live your life here should you become his wife. These were major concerns for me and I would have gotten nowhere had my DH and I not had a good discussion about every aspect. It could be that her SO has been out of the country for so long pursuing a higher degree, a lot in this generation (mid 30 early 40) have done this. Although we would need to hear back from OP about all of this and I think she may have gone missing :-) I think she did...the posts were all over the place, maybe she is doing some introspection which is for the best... Hope so! Saff, if you are out there there are many of us on here who have already trudged a path in marrying a local so if you are in that position and have any more questions fire away we are here to help!
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 07:50
PolkaPet I wouldn't worry yourself too much about this. If we all listened to the gossip making the rounds amongst the nanny circuit we would all believe in a very different reality. My sister-in-laws nanny has told tall tales about my SIL forcing the children to "pray every hour even if they are eating!", to "wear uncomfortable clothes on Eid" et cetera its all nonsense. A lot of the nannies create stories to evoke sympathies from each other or to further confirm ridiculous stereotypes about this type of madame or that type of madame.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 07:43
There were some parts of your post that I considered quite alarming (and I don't mean any disrespect). You say that the man is the "love of your life" yet you're "years off" from meeting each others' families. It seems that he hasn't proposed to you, or at least you haven't discussed the matter of the move or his family's possible attitude toward your relationship which I find rather odd. You're also considering changing your religion for him (you say you're doing it for yourself but once again I think his role is quite significant). You also seem to be ready to just drop the entire relationship if things prove to be too hard. Lots of contradictions in other words, which makes it rather difficult to offer any guidance or advice. You should really be asking him most of this anyway. (also it does seem unusual that a local would spend years away from the UAE as some people have pointed out... though I could be wrong about that). I agree with Cheezu and reiterate what I and she have said which is please speak to him about his intentions regarding you - and especially his intentions as how you would be expected to live your life here should you become his wife. These were major concerns for me and I would have gotten nowhere had my DH and I not had a good discussion about every aspect. It could be that her SO has been out of the country for so long pursuing a higher degree, a lot in this generation (mid 30 early 40) have done this. Although we would need to hear back from OP about all of this and I think she may have gone missing :-)
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 07:36
@Summerdream... I believe it would take at least some interaction/ meeting to judge someones attitude. I wonder how my attitude is deemed resentful to any potential employer, when my CV does not even make it through the door because of the lack of 'WESTERN' expat tag! Further I suppose what could be more resentful than me actually looking for an opportunity which is not defined by the pay package and only to be rejected because of lack of a nationality. I suppose you could say that I am resentful for not being able to work and constructively utilise my skills or for the kind of opportunities (or the lack of) that present me in Dubai. I do not understand what you mean by 'accepted norm' - I have merely made an observation about the recruiting processes followed, and as can be seen from the posts, are discriminatory in practice. I have made no other observation or comment or on the working atmosphere. I am a professional and have worked in Dubai before and I do know that I can fit in an office working environment anywhere in the world - and just because a comment is made on recruitment process, does not mean we do not know how to work or affect our ability to work. I do not know how you would get an impression otherwise. I leave it upto you to make your own mind as to whether you wish to recommend any positions or not - what more can be said than here is a person who wants to work but is denied an opportunity and not even have her CV read or accepted based on lack of nationality as compared to lack of skill or merit. As you can see from the posts, I am not alone in this experience. Would you not agree that this exists and that it is wrong? Sharon - I think what is overwhelmingly obvious by most if not all of these posts is that racism in the hiring process exists everywhere, throughout every country and pertains to each nations specific prejudices. The only difference in Dubai is that legally they are able to be straightforward about it. The "in your face" aspect of this most certainly stings I can understand but to believe it is not happening everyday in all of our home countries and even dare I say implemented far and wide in every institution would be simply naive. Just do the best you can and let your strength shine through and I am sure you will be just fine. Again, good luck and try not to focus on the things you cannot change it will only trip you up! This forum needs a "Like" option! :-)
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 07:35
fandrew, that was a very thoughtfully written post and I agree :-) Thanks!
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 03 October 2012 - 06:57
@Summerdream... I believe it would take at least some interaction/ meeting to judge someones attitude. I wonder how my attitude is deemed resentful to any potential employer, when my CV does not even make it through the door because of the lack of 'WESTERN' expat tag! Further I suppose what could be more resentful than me actually looking for an opportunity which is not defined by the pay package and only to be rejected because of lack of a nationality. I suppose you could say that I am resentful for not being able to work and constructively utilise my skills or for the kind of opportunities (or the lack of) that present me in Dubai. I do not understand what you mean by 'accepted norm' - I have merely made an observation about the recruiting processes followed, and as can be seen from the posts, are discriminatory in practice. I have made no other observation or comment or on the working atmosphere. I am a professional and have worked in Dubai before and I do know that I can fit in an office working environment anywhere in the world - and just because a comment is made on recruitment process, does not mean we do not know how to work or affect our ability to work. I do not know how you would get an impression otherwise. I leave it upto you to make your own mind as to whether you wish to recommend any positions or not - what more can be said than here is a person who wants to work but is denied an opportunity and not even have her CV read or accepted based on lack of nationality as compared to lack of skill or merit. As you can see from the posts, I am not alone in this experience. Would you not agree that this exists and that it is wrong? Sharon - I think what is overwhelmingly obvious by most if not all of these posts is that racism in the hiring process exists everywhere, throughout every country and pertains to each nations specific prejudices. The only difference in Dubai is that legally they are able to be straightforward about it. The "in your face" aspect of this most certainly stings I can understand but to believe it is not happening everyday in all of our home countries and even dare I say implemented far and wide in every institution would be simply naive. Just do the best you can and let your strength shine through and I am sure you will be just fine. Again, good luck and try not to focus on the things you cannot change it will only trip you up!
 
 
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