fandrew | ExpatWoman.com
 

fandrew

fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 20:46
Can you pls advise. I don't think I'm ovulating any more and want to get help. Who do I go and see? A gynaecologist or a specialist? Any advice would be gratefully received of where to go and maybe what to expect (I have been pregnant before) Thanks If your goal is to get pregnant again then you should go to see a reproductive endocrinologist who generally practice at IVF clinics. There are several here just do a search for IVF. Good luck
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 19:58
As someone also married to a local I say check his passport. Emiratis rarely expatriate for more than study term, or if the family work in a foreign embassy. Not saying it doesn't happen but you must understand that there are many ppl who have lived here their entire lives who call it home but who the government does not call nationals. If that is he then you may end up in a tough situation here as if you aren't local you really do need to have safe guards. Where your from doesn't matter socially so much these days, it does matter economically unless you have a niche qualification. Life here would be far different from where you are. Colour is not as much of an issue here as it is in some places, ethnicity is (another reason to check his passport). TBH though, my DH is local and no matter where he came from I would have followed him as he had my heart, blind love. If you have reservations maybe there's a reason.. This is a good point. It hadn't occurred to me that her other half might call UAE home but not be Emirati.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 18:40
He is...it for me. I am positive of that. But I am torn with this entire situation. And if the world is going to be a force against us, then I'd prefer to end it now and not even consider any of this at all. But thank you so much for your help everyone :) this will definitely be one I'll have to decide on my own Saff, as someone married to a local I would say that as with any coupling it is going to come down to what sort of person he is, what sort of power dynamic exists between the two of you, what his family is truly like and what his position with them is. Whether his family accepts you or not will be specific to their prejudices. Beyond family considerations I doubt very much your color or nationality will make much of a difference in your dealings with the general population. The sort of discussions you should be having with him are about whether he will expect you to convert, to cover and/or adapt your entire lifestyle to suit his culture. Once you have those answers you can decide whether these are things you willing to do. The changes to your daily life will everything to do with your husband and very little to do with everyone else.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 13:17
I applied for several posts as a volunteer while in Doha and was turned down as I wasn't Arabic. The situation in this region in terms of preferred nationalities in employment reminds me of the UK before they fully entered the EU and before employment laws allowed for any EU passport holder to be eligible to work anywhere. The UK was so concerned about letting jobs go to non-UK citizens it was very difficult to snag any job if you were from a neighboring european country. I imagine the concern here is similar - they would far prefer to have their own people employed than foreigners, which to a degree makes some sense to me. The only difference is that UK law does not allow that preference to be printed, but you can be assured the preference was put into action.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 13:11
What about discrimination against Westerners and Woman. I've seen loads of vacancies where it says " Arab ( GCC) nationals and males need only apply" edited by derien on 02/10/2012 There are no civil laws that protect the equal treatment of arabs versus non-arabs or women versus men here. Additionally there are no laws that serve to protect the equal treatment of one arab to another. Its just a different country. Much as we might like it to be true we are not able to travel outside of our own country with a legal bubble fitted around us which protects our rights and privileges as people the way its protected in our home country. When you travel or live abroad you are subject to the laws that govern that country.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 13:01
1. Firstly, I wonder if the companies themselves stipulate this or the recruitment agencies? 2. Most companies have a Code of Conduct and Anti Discriminatory Policy which clearly gets violated and goes unchecked because the Parent Company/Head Office based in these 'WESTERN' countries are unaware of the discrimination followed here. 3. Most companies which follow these discriminatory policies could probably still be held responsible beacuse the 'WESTERN' Anti Discriminatory laws would apply to the Parent company and hence the the organisation as a whole. I just think its a blatant abuse of power because they think they can get away with it! Actually I am afraid not SA. In order to launch a civil suit against a company for discriminatory actions the suit must be filed and waged in the country in which it took place. That suit will be decided based on the civil laws that govern that specific region. We don't have criminal laws which easily translate abroad - thus extradition policies - for civil litigation there is no bridge to sue by the laws of another country.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 October 2012 - 12:54
Unfortunately western laws do not apply here. These companies are not beholden to any other jurisdiction than this one. I know of several American companies who offer lower pay to non-westerners for the same job done by westerners. Do yourself a favor and try not to focus on this aspect of the job hunt, it will only further frustrate you. Good luck on your search!
fandrew
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Latest post on 15 September 2012 - 17:32
Dubaisusan it really depends on which legal jurisdiction the marriage is under. If Shari'a it is one set of rules if western another set. Of course neither is very easy to execute here in terms of support. I am sure there are many women here who could help you but you would need to give more information on the nationalities of both parties. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 12 September 2012 - 15:07
Yes we do but I suppose its a personal decision. I try to treat everyone in the home who works for us as I would employees under my management in the office. I believe those who do not take their annual leave in the workplace are offered their flight money, so we do the same. In my view its best to treat everyone in the home with respect and as if they and their job mean something. We have never been disappointed in using this approach but then we may just be lucky. Good luck with whatever decision you make! edited by fandrew on 12/09/2012 It was not her annual leave though..........it was an offer of a free months vacation if she wanted it....she opted out. edited by CAPTAIN AMERICA !! on 12/09/2012 Maybe I misread then. I was under the impression that they were offering her her annual leave now - five months in - rather than after the full 6 months or year. I think I understood this to be her only chance at leave in which case she should be able to choose either or. But it seems I was incorrect! Sorry :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 12 September 2012 - 13:49
Yes we do but I suppose its a personal decision. I try to treat everyone in the home who works for us as I would employees under my management in the office. I believe those who do not take their annual leave in the workplace are offered their flight money, so we do the same. In my view its best to treat everyone in the home with respect and as if they and their job mean something. We have never been disappointed in using this approach but then we may just be lucky. Good luck with whatever decision you make! <em>edited by fandrew on 12/09/2012</em>
fandrew
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Latest post on 20 August 2012 - 09:22
I know there are no aveda hair salons in Qatar or Dubai Or none I can find on forums... But any other places that you guys can recommend. That use natural hair color that I maybe haven't heard of...not looking forward to ruining my with color just coz we chose to move to the middle east Many thanks :) You will find a lot of salons here will use natural - or no ammonia if that is what you mean - Salon Ink and Pastels do from what I am told and I know for a fact that Maria Dowling does. However, I will admit that while I used to prefer natural color once the greys got too much I realized the color never stayed very long. Inoa I think is what everyone here used. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 August 2012 - 20:46
Yes. I have booked for brunch tomorrow and confirmed with hotel they will be serving the grape and the bubbly grape and the hops for the old man :-)) Goodness me what great news. Mind sharing which outlet this is? Of course. Bamboo Lagoon/market place/hoffhaus JW Marriot Diera. Eid Brunch. :-) Thank you! Enjoy your brunch :)
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 August 2012 - 20:40
Yes. I have booked for brunch tomorrow and confirmed with hotel they will be serving the grape and the bubbly grape and the hops for the old man :-)) Goodness me what great news. Mind sharing which outlet this is?
fandrew
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Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 10:57
It's always been very quiet whenever I've been too! I was there a couple of days ago (in the evening) and again, very quiet. Perhaps go to the textile souk, next to Bur Dubai Abra Station, take an abra over the creek and visit the spice souk / gold souk, all of which is more as you describe (busy, livley etc). Definitely do it during the evening though (until it gets cooler). If you fancy something to eat, there are some nice restaurants next to the Creek at the Heritage and Dving Villages (where there is also parking). Thank you Suze. I will try some of these restaurants. Do you happen to have the names? I am not as familiar with the creek area as I should be! :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 16 August 2012 - 10:13
We went by it on the boat and our brief impression (though we did not dock so take my opinion with a grain of salt) was that it was done very cheaply, the sand/beach was not good and seemed to have a lot of gravel and there looked like there were more people than there were spaces to sit or lay out. I think I would prefer a day at the beach or if I want service spend the day on one of the hotel beaches. But why not try it - after all it is very different fro the normal Saturday right? You lose nothing in going!
fandrew
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Latest post on 10 August 2012 - 09:01
Push Presents are alive in well in New York City, sadly have been for years so unlikely a "dubai" thing, a "London" thing or associated with any other specific city but I would hazard a guess to say it probably did originate in the US. In my mind it is just another product of the marketing and retail industry that has engulfed all things "relationship/family based". First it was the insanely expensive, over the top weddings and when that was not enough over the top bridal showers, bachelorette weekends then themed and catered baby showers, now push presents. In our drive to compete as consumers the only people we are bolstering is the retail industry. Most tragic is the people I see who really cannot afford these things and yet do them as it is now "expected". I know people who took loans out to buy their engagement rings, spent three times their annual salary on an 8 hour wedding reception and now I presume husbands who save up to buy "push presents". The majority of my friends here and abroad have focused attention on push presents all lovely sweet and good people and if it brings them joy then fine with me, but I think it does us some good to take some time to think about why we feel the need and what sort of compulsion these sorts of gifts are really feeding. Just an opinion. edited by fandrew on 10/08/2012 <em>edited by fandrew on 10/08/2012</em>
fandrew
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Latest post on 10 August 2012 - 07:51
My DH was told that expats cannot sponsor a male (as driver, house-boy etc) and that we are only able to sponsor a female as house-maid or nanny. But please correct him if he's wrong ;) You can sponsor more than one employee but it will depend on your family size, villa size and income. You will need to convince the ministry that you need another employee and that you can easily afford to provide salary and decent standard of living. I am not aware of what the financial guidelines are but I a msure if you go down there they will explain it all to you. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 07 August 2012 - 12:27
I second (or is it third?) using male staff in the house. We have three and one female maid and let me tell you - the men keep her in check by god! It is such a pleasant home environment.
fandrew
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Latest post on 04 August 2012 - 17:12
where are you looking? All the villas we've seen have pools either in the back or at the side of the house - Ranches, The Villa, Springs, Meadows, Al Barsha. I think some older properties, which we haven't looked at, sometimes have a large drive front garden area where a pool has been put in as an afterthought, but they were in older properties. Jumeirah primarily. You are right though, freehold properties probably wold have them built in the back. We actually had a conversation with four owners who had just completed new builds, three had put the pool in the front of what was an otherwise lovely villa and the other owner - who had not yet built the pool area but had a huge lot behind the villa - said "but if you buy it of course I will put the pool in. Here." And pointed to the front yard ! exasperating!
fandrew
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Latest post on 04 August 2012 - 16:53
Perhaps you ladies can help me answer this question. Why oh why do 90% of villas here that have pools have them in the front of the house?? Who on earth would want to have a delivery brought in the front gate while you are swimming? Time and again I go to view a villa and as we drive up right there plopped directly in front of the house door is a pool. It is so unappealing and doesn't seem to make any sense, to me at least. Any idea?
fandrew
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Latest post on 16 July 2012 - 11:51
My understanding is if you kill someone you have to pay blood money....not that this will replace their daughter but the money will certainly help...I was surprised as well as there was no mention of the blood money It is an either/or situation. In cases of first degree murder I believe you have a choice to pay blood money in exchange for a lighter sentence but is not a guarantee that money will be paid and it is often a case by case basis. In this instance it sounds as if the court has not ruled the crime as first degree murder. Blood money is in exchange of the sentence. If you murder someone and get a death sentence, the family can choose to accept blood money. Islamically, the murderer goes free if he pays blood money. It's either or, but then it could be that it's applied differently here. I believe the court must offer the choice to the convicted and I would imagine in this case as an unemployed local his family is not in a position to pay blood money especially in exchange for such a light sentence. Of course this is all conjecture based on knowledge of a few other cases and asking friends here who are lawyers. I am hardly an authority..
fandrew
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Latest post on 16 July 2012 - 11:41
My understanding is if you kill someone you have to pay blood money....not that this will replace their daughter but the money will certainly help...I was surprised as well as there was no mention of the blood money It is an either/or situation. In cases of first degree murder I believe you have a choice to pay blood money in exchange for a lighter sentence but is not a guarantee that money will be paid and it is often a case by case basis. In this instance it sounds as if the court has not ruled the crime as first degree murder.
fandrew
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Latest post on 06 July 2012 - 17:13
Yes, one month a year though to be fair we often give more if there is an emergency or family event like a birth or death. We also do allow them to split the time up twice a year if they choose. We are a local family and while we know it may not be standard we feel if we can afford to it makes for a happier home life if people feel they are given certain freedoms with regard to time off.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 July 2012 - 19:16
Having had many friends from all over the gulf I can say that it is cultural/environmental - they do not even realize what they are doing is "tailgating". Imagine never having driven anywhere else but here, how would you know what was considered "normal" by other countries' standards. That is at least how it has been explained to me several times when I have questioned WHY we are driving UP the bum of the car in front of us: "Huh What? They are just in the way, just letting them know I would like to be ahead". Seriously.
fandrew
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Latest post on 02 July 2012 - 07:31
From what I recall it takes four to six weeks. As ramadan is upon us though I might expect it took take much much longer or I would wait until after Eid to apply.
fandrew
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Latest post on 01 July 2012 - 18:12
This is dreadful and I cannot imagine, how awful I am so very very sorry.
fandrew
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Latest post on 01 July 2012 - 17:58
I was encouraged to remove my post and comments about a Dr on this website. I'm shaking that the docs name is listed on here. I still won't say which dr scared me by what he's said to me, about me and other women. The name is on here. My advice stick with a woman! I trust no one now! You were threatened by a Dr.? How horrible! :(
fandrew
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Latest post on 01 July 2012 - 17:54
Hello... i need help i am no sure what to do! i fell pregnant by accident.! and expecting my 3rd baby! i have two girls, with my first one i was diagnose with incompetent cervix in australia found out at 22 week of pregnancy was hospital for 3 months. with my second pregnancy when back to australia to see a top obsteo. to have her as i wasn't in peace to have baby in dubai and wasn't sure what to expect. i had a Shirodkar cerclage stitch ( at 14 weeks) with general anesthesia. and later remove with a spinal block at 37 weeks. This time mu hubby and i don't want to be separated for so long and he doesn't want to miss the birth of the baby. so we are considering in having baby here! the only problem is that i don't know of any good doctors that do cerclage stitch. i hope someone could help me... if they have had this here in dubai... and what doctor they used? what stitch they used here? what hospital? etc... help will be really appreciated. thank Congratulations to you Planty on your 3rd. I have not had a stitch done but have friends who have. There is a Dr. with the Fakih IVF clinic who does these regularly and so is sure to be very good at the brief surgery and another with Dr. Maia Danielson at the American Hospital. I know both of these women trusted the doctors and had very good outcomes. At the very least they may be able to point you i the direction of a high risk OB/GYN who can so the procedure. Good luck! :-)
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Latest post on 25 June 2012 - 19:04
We moved into our villa in Feb 2012 spending a fortune on the garden and putting things right, he has now told us he has sold it. Would just like to know what are rights are before we meet the new owner ie can he ask us to leave in Feb after one year? can he put our rent up? any infom would be great thanks. I believe that the landlord cannot remove you after selling without a year's notice - I believe it is still just one year - unless he decides he will be moving in himself which he will need to prove. Go to RERA and they will help. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 25 June 2012 - 08:38
I feel your pain. One of the most infuriating things about Dubai. In all of the countries I have lived in no other agents been so eager to swindle, be lazy, stretch the truth or outright lie as in Dubai. However, after much pain and struggle we had a very good experience however with Charles Katesi (Katezi?) at Powerhouse. Very decent, honest, hard working and takes on his job as if you are actually HIS client. Refreshing experience.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 16:00
Hello, I am a British law student, just completed my first year and I am looking for work experience to fill the long summer over here. I am aware it is a different legal system but I think the experience would be invaluable. If anyone knows of any firm that would take me on it would be fantastic. Yours, Joe. Heliotropic there are many many firms here who are practicing british international contract law - all of the finance companies for instance will have an in house counsel with a british legal background. Most of the law firms will also be staffed with british trained. Do search and start sending out your CV good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 15:41
You kind of make it sound like he doesn't have the right not not have wanting kids or marriage be in his personal plan... which he does. He has clearly told you this so as the others have said if you can live with it, fine. if not, move on. Somone once told me, "unsuitable men" don't become unsuitable- most often they show us who they are right from the start but we choose for whatever reasons to ignore it, then wonder why "he's such an a$$" later on.... he always was, usually! Ladies as ever you give great advise and you have confirmed my feelings and thought sabout this. Today I move on. Good luck to you!
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 14:22
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks. wow, that would suck to be either woman in that case! It is far more common than you might think here. Far more common in all expat communities from what I have been told. wasn't there that pilot who had different wives and family in UK, Dubai and Australia and kept it going for about 20 years before he was discovered?!? why would you live with that stress?? He's not married, he's divorced, plus he has just blatently toldme he does not want anymore kids and does not want to get married again. Apparently these are not part of his personal plan!!! JC11 this sounds very hard. Are you alright with never getting married and not having children? If you aren't you really do need to move on. I will promise you as awful as it will be to read you can't change him.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 14:21
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks. wow, that would suck to be either woman in that case! It is far more common than you might think here. Far more common in all expat communities from what I have been told. wasn't there that pilot who had different wives and family in UK, Dubai and Australia and kept it going for about 20 years before he was discovered?!? why would you live with that stress?? That's right I remember that guy! There is a movie about him. Crazy no?
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 13:41
this is all made much harder because you are far apart. That was a serious conversation to have on a phone and hard to gauge his facial reactions etc without being alongside him. Long distance relationships have a way of being artificially respirated to last a longer time as they dont develop in the same way a normal relationship would. Thats the trickiest thing here. If you both commit, how about moving to the UK to live together for a while and test the waters properly? hilsbils: We both live here it is his ex and kids that live in the UK and it is them that are wanting to move to Oz and then him in turn that wants to follow them. I don't really get it!! I did ask him, "if you want to be close to your kids then go home to the UK, why are you still in Dubai" and "If they do go to Oz then it is only an extra few hours on the plane than it would have been to go to the UK" I think after 7 months if he has no immediate need to bring you along with him should he have to move it may be time for you to move on. Sounds as if he is overly attached to his former life and has resentment and regret that is blocking him from focusing on a new solid relationship.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 13:38
what's the question? do real estate agents lie through their teeth to get a sale? yes, the world over not just Dubai. if you think things are being priced wrong just look at other houses in the same area...they should all be similar... if one area is more expensive than another area...again, that is no different to any other market...for a variety of reasons different locations are more desirable than others I think maybe I phrased it incorrectly. What we have found is that prices do not reflect other markets in other countries. It makes no reasonable sense for a similarly sized house in the center of Dubai be half the price of one 20 minutes away in the middle of the desert. Perhaps as a better example two houses of the same size and quality in the same area can come in with prices that vary by millions of DHS. There just doesn't seem to be any consistency in pricing. Plus, prices are not dropping as they are elsewhere in the world. I am wondering whether this has to do with the way things here have transpired ie: so many wealthy foreign owners who don't "need" to seel so they keep the price of a house hovering where it might have been in 2008. I just wanted to know if anyone else had noticed this and if they could provide a reason.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 13:21
Bump? And then I will let it go :(
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 09:37
Bump. No one? Maybe its just us?
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 09:19
ah thanks for that fandrew .... sounds like a palarver! In the UK I can just set it up on my internet banking to pay anyone with the sort code and account number ... thought it would be too easy to actually do - thank you for taking the time to reply :) Guess I'll need to get a cheque from him then and pay in the old fashioned way No worries, but I would try regardless to see if you can do it online. I had to call customer service to set it up but that was with Emirates NBD who are notoriously bad about..well..everything. Good luck!
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 09:10
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks. wow, that would suck to be either woman in that case! It is far more common than you might think here. Far more common in all expat communities from what I have been told. makes sense, but god THAT has the makings of bitterness and revenge I know. Plus I always wondered what these blokes thought would happen. I mean you have a girlfriend and a wife neither knows about the other so something will eventually have to give. What is their plan I wonder! Plan? That's a generous thought. I don't think most men ever have a plan. When things go bottom up, they find themselves living on one pair of clothes with a hastily strewn together shave kit, possibly or not a vehicle at their disposal, and staying on someone's couch. Whereas when women choose to depart, they usually have a nest egg and a new pad with a full datebook for the next month. no? ETA: OP, like other ladies here, sorry you had to find out that your feeling were not reciprocated. You said it yourself, he is more focused on winning some battle. Children and ex-wives complicate things a lot...best to let him stew in his own discontent at the moment, and tell him you may or may not be there when he lets go of the bitterness, right? I could only think you would regret a big move like that with so little commitment from him. edited by Beebers on 18/06/2012 Good point ;-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 09:08
DH and I have been looking around at homes to possibly purchase in Dubai. We are both very surprised by what we consider to be strange, inconsistent and often unrealistic price points. For instance, a nice new large 5 bedroom villa in a freezone area near Jumeirah might be listed at a certain price but then a remote location like Barsha or a community like Al Barari which is 20 minutes outside of Dubai and very remote will ask twice the amount of the large centrally located villa. When pressed about inconsistencies like this realtors will make up stories to support outrageous price points - for instance with Al Barari they will say its because the community is 'exclusive' and not for rent only for sale and then a quick search will see that they are being rented out like crazy, presumably because they cannot be sold and yet prices never drop. Has anyone else noticed this? Does anyone have any insight as to why? It seems as if real estate prices here do not accurately reflect the global recession or even follow a solid market value in terms of size, location etc.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 09:00
http://www.blueribbonrestaurants.com/rests_brass_man_main.htm http://nymag.com/listings/restaurant/blue-ribbon-brasserie/ just ate there in March, with a friend who lives in Soho. Good vibe, great food, great area. Also a great suggestion! :-)
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 08:58
Hi, is it possible to do this with on line banking, I would like to know if it's possible to transfer money from a RAK bank account to an HSBC one, easily and without cost. I've never done this before and hope you can as I'd like to suggest this to LL. Thanks in advance. Yes, it is called a wire transfer but I believe you may need to set it up with customer service first in order to do this online. it will cost you money if you are sending to a different bank. Just get your bank transfer details and his.
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 08:30
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks. wow, that would suck to be either woman in that case! It is far more common than you might think here. Far more common in all expat communities from what I have been told. makes sense, but god THAT has the makings of bitterness and revenge I know. Plus I always wondered what these blokes thought would happen. I mean you have a girlfriend and a wife neither knows about the other so something will eventually have to give. What is their plan I wonder!
fandrew
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Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 08:03
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks. wow, that would suck to be either woman in that case! It is far more common than you might think here. Far more common in all expat communities from what I have been told.
fandrew
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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 18 June 2012 - 07:55
Sorry you are going through this. Not to be nosy or upset you but do you know for a fact that he is actually divorced? I have three friends in recent years who have been in relationships with men who 'are divorced with kids not in Dubai' who were happy to carry on a relationship in Dubai but avoided commitment. Turned out in all cases that they were still married with wife not aware that marriage was on the rocks.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 June 2012 - 15:51
Thanks Tinkerbell and Fandrew again. Very helpful and yes I realise that at 40 I need to move along now but seriously where did the time go as I still feel 28! I wasnt too surprised by my hubbys lazy swimmers and we both had a giggle over it as he is a lazy slow sort of man. He was really pleased with himself after the clinic visit and came home like Tarzan?! Anyway I wonder about Dr Waels success rate and also Dr Munira from Dubai Mall Clinic? I wonder if they take on the difficult cases as they are a govt hospital and so their stats are lower? I have heard lots of good things about both Wael and Muniras manner but less about their success rates. I dont mean to harp on about the money for me it is a big factor and causing us some stress. I stopped working and so our income is substantially lower as I was the breadwinner before and Dh will likely remain the breadwinner for some time if we do fall pregnant as I dont want the stress of work to jeapordise this in any way. So, we cant really afford as many as 3 x full priced IVFs and I wonder if there are discounts given after the first failed attempt? What does Dr Wael charge for full IVF? I hear what you say Fandrew about simply keeping on top of things with the docs and Ill just carry a note book and write it all down every time to remind and others. Thanks again and much luck to us all ! I think you will find that all of the clinics are going to be around the same mark in terms of price. Unless you do natural which as I mentioned may be slightly cheaper you are going to end up paying roughly the same. I am afraid that there will not be a clinic who will discount for any failed attempts at our age. Fakih does offer some sort of lower risk discount but obviously this is for women who qualify by being under 28 and hit other marks like low FSH etc etc. I do not know about other clinics. they may also offer discounts, but they will most certainly also be for young women whose odds are in their favor to become pregnant even without intervention.
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 June 2012 - 12:15
does anyone know this compound, located on the corner beach road/thanya road, light orange color, around 10-15 villas? thanks. Behind sunset mall? Or the villas being built along what is the new marina?
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 June 2012 - 10:47
Gosh mummabear and fandrew that is very helpful. I like the idea of the natural IVF approach since I am 40 now and although he saw "lovely" eggs on the ultrasound I also know that as we get older quantity is an issue but more so quality of eggs. I didnt know about the natural IVF treatment option and in a way I realise that I need to do lots and lots of research in advance so that I can control things easily from side and keep myself and everyone else up to date with the agreed procedure. I wonder what happens to the shyer ladies who dont speak up? A very interesting point you make about the tests and full scale of the situation only coming to light when doing the actual IVF procedure. Fandrew .... is the natural IVF also 28k and did you have to pay 28k x 3 to date (gulp!) I am 40 now and so tick tock :-) Although I think I am healthier now than I was say 6 years ago. Dhs sperm count is high but has lazy swimmers and so we need a little help. Wonder what we can do to speed up the boys? He did make an ex pregnant some years ago so I hope thats a good sign. Are either of you ladies opting to have the embryos screened before implantation? I wonder about downs syndrome at my age. edited by hilsbils on 06/06/2012 You don't pay up front from what I recall. To be honest I paid for each of my appointments up front but DH took care of the rest so I can ask what the situation was. Natural IVF is, I believe, slightly cheaper because one of the very expensive aspects of full IVF are the drugs which are not really administered in Natural depending on your cycle and how your tests go. 28K is for full, I do not know what natural is but they have a price list and you can call then and check. If i were you, given your age which I feel I can say freely as we are the same age :-), do not wait or walk to the clinic, any clinic, but run! Do not spend time trying to learn everything first and become an endocrinologist on your own time before you start cycling. When I said be your own advocate I meant to remind them about your last visit, or your protocol or to speak up from time to time but do not go in thinking you need to get a degree first in order to have a successful cycle. Time is not on our side. . A few things about natural and mini-IVF. Natural will not produce more than a single egg. As there are no drugs used you will only produce the egg your body would have chosen anyway. This is how the first assisted test tube baby was conceived. Mini-IVF is with lower drugs which may produce more than 1 egg but more like 2 eggs not really more than 3 or 4 (from what I have heard I have not done this) Full IVF is geared to produce multiple eggs and these are the cycles where freezing etc. comes into play. Fakih does pre diagnostic genetic testing on embryos - should your cycle create an embryo - but there is a risk that the test itself will weaken the embryo so that is a decision many people take who are doing full drug cycle and have more than one or two embryos to choose from. As for your DHs sperm they will do something called IXI (?) which is basically spin your DHs sperm to collect only the good swimmers in concentration for your possible fertilization. Hope that is helpful! <em>edited by fandrew on 06/06/2012</em>
fandrew
207
Posts
EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 06 June 2012 - 10:16
We have only recently embarked on this journey. We went and saw Dr Fakih and all seemed ok, but what is bothering me is that other than an ultrasound and sperm test (both normalish), no other tests were suggested until the IVF would start. I am loathe to hand over 28k and then only discover that my thyroid problem hasnt cleared up or my insulin levels are still way to high etc, and what then? I would prefer a system where I can go for more comprehensive tests done to ascertain the full scope of the situation and[i'> then [/i'>decide on how to proceed. Its only due to my age that IVF is considered "the only option". I also felt that I would have liked to have much more information on the whole process, and perhaps more dialogue, although on the other hand I felt he was very competent and confident in what he does. I would prefer perhaps more tailor made treatment over time which may or may not end up in full IVF or is a gentler form of IVF (which I have read about where only 1 or 2 eggs are retrieved to have quality over quantity) etc. His receptionist told me that in the past few weeks freezing of embryos is no longer permitted in Dubai and if it fails the first time, then we have to redo it all instead of simply use our existing stock. Thinking of going to another doctor ask if there is something between a consultation and full service where I can pay a few sessions of exploration and monitoring and treatment before agreeing to IVF. Perhaps Dr Wael or Pankesh or Munira would be ideal for that? I dont mind going back to Fakih when when or if we decide, but I want more impartial advice at the outset. Have any of the EW ladies had staged / phased treatment that didnt involve the full package and expense right away? If things dont work the first time round, do they charge the full $$ again even if many of the tests have been done? Thanks !! edited by hilsbils on 05/06/2012 Hilsbils I have been working with Dr. Fakih for several months now. We did research and visited DGFC as well but felt very pushed and rushed into full drug IVF treatment with the doctor there and in fact chose Dr. Fakih because he suggested we start with what is called Natural IVF which is minimal to no drugs and often suggested for older women nearing or at and over 40 who will be low responders. I was very pleased that he suggested this and we began, one failed cycle, one successful which resulted in miscarriage and now we are starting again. I will tell you however that once you are on the circus wheel of doing the treatments you will need to very much be on top of your own case. You will be in situations where you are reminding the nurses of dates and what happened an what was decided at your last visit, you may well have to even remind the doctor occasionally of what protocol they decided for you. If you do not actively advocate for yourself it can be overwhelming and confusing an even then confusing. However, after speaking with friends in London and NYC where the best clinics are, this sort of experience is less with Dr. Fakih than it is about how clinics operate in general. Every one of my friends have said they felt they were on an assembly line and had to spend a lot of time reminding each nurse about their case and having more than one discussion with the doctor about the same issue. One last note about the approach to do the IVF first - my friend at Cornell in NYC which I think may lead the world in fertility told me her doctor there told her that all the tests in the world will never be as helpful to a doctor to see what issues there are with fertility than actually running a full IVF course. I am on Natural IVF which you can discuss with Fakih is you like I believe he is one of the only ones who do this routinely here. Good luck!
 
 
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