Frazzled | ExpatWoman.com
 

Frazzled

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EW NEWBIE
Latest post on 05 September 2014 - 12:32
So your maid is in a similar situation to you, except that you also have to deal with relocating 3 young kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats and 1 moody husband & furniture and one unhappy maid? It's not ideal for either of you and I doubt you have the time or inclination to wade through the legalities and paperwork of Kish because your maid doesn't want to go back to her home country (which she did actually agree to when signing her employment contract in the event that she had not found another job to go to). I would stick to the letter of your contract with her and send her home as agreed. What happens if she goes to Kish, reenters on a tourist visa and still doesn't find a job and ends up either stranded without the money for a ticket home or starts working illegally? Could there be any ramifications for you then, even though you've left the country? If she's keen to stay here there are plenty of maid agencies here she could approach as well as people looking for maids, particularly at this time of year. There are other countries which take maids from the Phillippines, so not having a job here doesn't mean she can't continue to support her family as a maid. If you're supportive in helping her find another job here and then you have no reason to feel guilty about the prospect of her going back to her home country when she doesn't want to. After all, it's happening to your family too... Good luck.
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Latest post on 31 August 2014 - 16:34
I suggest you get a paediatric audiology (hearing) assessment done at one of the hospitals before approaching a speech therapist if you haven't already done so. It is much more detailed and specialised than the hearing test the GP does. We used the American Hospital 7 years ago for both hearing and speech assessment; unfortunately they didn't pick up my son's hearing problem, so I can't honestly recommend them for that, but they correctly assessed his speech delay and the hearing problem was picked up in the UK later. He had speech therapy at Rashid Paediatric Centre near MOE and they did a great job with him. Good luck with finding the help you need.
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Latest post on 04 August 2014 - 20:33
I think it depends on the maid in question and how much of her job will be spent caring for your 3 year old. If you're around most of the time, it probably won't be too demanding. If she's taking your little one out to somewhere big like Safa Park or huge shopping malls or near busy roads and he/she runs off then your maid needs to be fit enough to chase and catch pretty quickly. However, any maid also needs the maturity to supervise and entertain your child, not just leave them to play and spend all their time texting and chatting to friends; that really depends on personality rather than age. We've had a younger married maid and now have a 57 year old maid, both of whom have been great. The younger maid had more energy and a more maternal attitude to our children who were then little; the older one less so but gets through vast amounts of physically demanding housework on a daily basis and is very kind towards our children. She is definitely stronger and fitter than I am and there have been no issues with boyfriends, husbands, children etc. which often comes with younger maids. I would be happy to consider older maids in the future but would expect good references from their previous employers.
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Latest post on 24 July 2014 - 15:54
Suggest she goes to work there instead then! I had a similar situation with a previous long-term maid whose brother came here to work as a houseboy a couple of streets away from us and in addition to a good salary his employer actually did buy him regular phone cards, all food, all toiletries, brand new furniture etc. There's no point in trying to compete or compensate in that situation if you consider that you are treating and paying your maid fairly, so I just laughed and said no way were we going to be doing that! In the end his employer moved within 2 years and our maid's brother was out of a job. We have always paid our maids fairly and agreed upfront that reasonable babysitting duties and occasionally working a few hours on Friday if needed would be part of the contract so we don't pay any extra for it. If we were asking her regularly to work an excessive amount of extra hours babysitting or on her day off we would review that arrangement. You haven't said how long this maid has been working for you. If she's only recently joined and is trying to get an extra 500 dirhams out of you every time you go out for dinner with your husband, it's not a great start...
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Latest post on 22 July 2014 - 12:01
Anything on the banned list of DVDs (don't know where you get hold of one but it exists) or banned medicines (even if you have prescriptions for them); any images containing nudity even if in a book of classical art which you do not wish to have inked out by censors; any nude figures should be clothed for the journey; poppies or poppy seeds even if in a decorative display or pot pourri (yes, seriously). Always carry the prescriptions for medicines in your hand luggage whenever you travel in or out of the country too.
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Latest post on 20 July 2014 - 13:11
Yes, we get it throughout the house, have had it for about 3 years and it's an ongoing battle. We have regular A/C servicing and 6 monthly complete sterilisation of the A/C which takes the full day. We leave the A/C on constantly except for the depths of winter when we get fresh air in to circulate and we also have air filters. We had mould repellent paint on the ceiling of the shower 6 months ago to counter recurrent black mould and I've noticed the mould is just starting to grow back there again next to the extractor fan. We have a huge amount of dust in the house which gets recirculated via the A/C which seems to gather inside and outside cupboards and then forms a white mould which gets on clothes, furniture, books and any china which isn't regularly used. We've not really had many problems with water leakage and I'm amazed that thorough cleaning of the A/C doesn't seem to sort it out. We bought our house off-plan 6 years ago, so there's no hidden history of disasters or poor maintenance. Previously we lived in a rented villa 30+ years old and never had any mould problems over the 6 years we were there.
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Latest post on 10 July 2014 - 17:56
I don't know whether they cater for young adults or just children but I would contact the Rashid Paediatric Centre near Lulus in Al Barsha and the Al Noor Centre? Foundation? (you need to google it). Even if they don't cater for young adults they must have contacts or recommendations that they pass children on to if they get too old for their services. There are plenty of threads on here to search under special needs support, so you may want to contact some of the recommendations on there for advice. Your doctor here may also have some suggestions. There are people out there but it may take you a bit of digging to find them. Best of luck.
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Latest post on 03 July 2014 - 13:12
Never drive on your UK license if you could use your UAE one instead - although you can get speeding fines on both, if you're using your UK license you can also get speeding points on it but not on the UAE license. Found this out the hard way...
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Latest post on 26 June 2014 - 13:07
I've just found a Backstage Summer Camp at DUCTAC for ages 14+ and have put more info on a separate thread for anyone who's interested. They need more numbers for the camps to run. I don't think it's been particularly well marketed, to be honest.
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Latest post on 21 June 2014 - 08:12
OP: some questions for your husband: Would he be happy for you to get in that driver's taxi again? Would he be happy for his mother to get in that driver's taxi? Would he be happy for his 16 year old female cousin to get in that driver's taxi? If the answer to any of these is "No", then he should understand why you have to report the incident to the police. If he doesn't, you should report the driver anyway. It's a lot of hassle but it is the right thing to do. <em>edited by Frazzled on 21/06/2014</em>
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Latest post on 14 June 2014 - 07:38
I used Darren at Pacific Prime two years ago as well and he was very helpful.
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Latest post on 12 June 2014 - 11:21
Thanks for the suggestions, ladies. Bo De Bo - The gym sounds a great idea! I googled Skillz and it keeps on coming up with the Quay Health Club at the Madinat - is it that one or has it moved? Shame the French didn't work out last year because I was wondering about that too. Was it the idea of working during his holiday that was off-putting or was the tuition not at the right level for him? Has anyone done the Kartdrome camps? I like the idea but usually they have an upper age limit for indoor karting (13 maybe?). I'm just wondering whether he'd be the big guy surrounded by 10 year olds, which wouldn't go down well!
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Latest post on 12 June 2014 - 10:14
This must be really frustrating for you. I've never had to deal with the cultural aspect of it but have had family & employees asking for loans for various reasons. Who manages the finances? Is your husband interested in savings for the future? Do you sit down regularly and have a plan for what your expenditure and savings should be over the next few years? Do you sit down together each month to review spending and income? Do you have an agreed purchase/spending limit where anything over eg. 5000 dirhams needs to be discussed and agreed with each other in advance? Your husband needs to be committed to saving as much as you are to feel able to stop giving money to anyone who asks for it and have some coaching from you about the best answers to give to anyone who thinks he's a soft touch for a loan. He probably feels valued and as though he's doing the right thing by helping others out of a difficult situation - possibly without weighing up whether that situation really is difficult or if it could be resolved without him. Chances are he doesn't tell them that lending the money makes it really difficult for both of you financially but he could choose to say "actually we're trying to save for a house/new car/whatever ourselves, so we really need the money ourselves". Of course there are genuine cases where you should help family & friends but his friends should really be asking their own families/employers/banks first and learn to manage their own finances better before they approach him. If you have pots of money, a huge house, exotic holidays & children with designer wardrobes, his friends & family may think borrowing from you isn't a problem for you. If like many people you want to save to buy your own house, start a family or pay massive school fees, then there needs to be a plan to do this which your husband chooses to stick to. He's sounds like a kind and generous man, which is a good thing in any husband, and probably one of the reasons you chose to share your life with him, but he just needs to put your priorities as a couple over those of his friends and family, unless they are truly in a desperate position. I'd suggest you either get an offshore account where it's hard to access the money immediately and your interest rate goes down for every withdrawal or some sort of scheme which locks up your money for 3-5 years before paying a higher rate of interest. If it's sitting in the cashpoint machine here it's really easy for your husband and his friends to get at. Work out how much you can regularly put away each month and do it as soon as your/his salary comes in. Make sure you have a savings account here as well as a current account, so you have an emergency fund you can immediately transfer money into if your current account is low at the end of the month. Make sure there's pension planning for your long-term future as well. When we've loaned money to our maid, we've always had an arrangement where she pays us back a small portion of the loan every month, rather than try to save the whole amount and then give it back. We've also put details of the loan in writing for her to sign and got signatures for the monthly repayments. That way there's a fixed period for the money coming back and means she is less likely to save up half the loan repayment and then spend it on something else instead. Obviously this is easier to do with an employee but I personally would do this if I were lending money to a friend. I imagine his friends might not like the idea of the arrangement being on a more formal footing but they can always ask someone else instead. If they really need it and he is their only option they should be able to reach a sensible agreement. Good luck!
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Latest post on 10 June 2014 - 20:25
3 years ago we had friends transiting from US to India for 6 hours & managed to meet them at the airport with a view to sitting in the coffee shop there. We had a word with the security guy there and he said we could go outside the airport & come back in time for the flight, so we went to the aquarium at Dubai Mall, which was great! I don't know whether you'd be allow to do that but if you're happy to have coffee in the airport, I'd head over there and try. Good luck!
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Latest post on 04 June 2014 - 15:03
I've always used a travel agency to book our maid's return ticket for holidays but I'm wondering whether I could do it online since it's for someone else of a different surname? Has anyone done this either directly with the airline or through a flight comparison website? Thanks.
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Latest post on 18 May 2014 - 13:01
It's the hotel they finally put up to replace the old Jumeirah Beach Club, next to Dubai Ladies Club.
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Latest post on 18 May 2014 - 12:43
Which area? I know of a karate teacher in Tecom, if that's any good to you?
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Latest post on 06 May 2014 - 11:36
Anyone?
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Latest post on 06 May 2014 - 11:34
Can anyone recommend any piano moving specialists here?
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Latest post on 01 May 2014 - 18:12
Any ideas where I can get Skullcandy headphones repaired? The cable connecting to the iPod only works properly in certain positions, so there is intermittent sound - same problem on 2 pairs of headphones. Thanks for any help.
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Latest post on 01 May 2014 - 17:58
Mine was caused by postnasal drip from sinusitis for years. Once the sinusitis was resolved, the reflux stopped. If you get sinusitis, the link may be worth considering.
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Latest post on 28 April 2014 - 12:04
The spare tyre has a tiny hole in it and when I had the car serviced the assistant advised me to get it repaired rather than buy a new one. Does anyone know a garage that does this? I'm in Arabian Ranches, so there are all sorts of motor places near MOE but I'd like a recommendation for somewhere reliable where I won't be ripped off, as I know nothing about tyres and they can see me coming! It's a Dunlop tyre. I have no idea how much tyre repair should cost either. Thanks for any help.
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Latest post on 28 April 2014 - 11:55
Saw some in Choithrams Umm Suqueim (near al Manara) this morning.
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Latest post on 24 April 2014 - 11:13
This was 5 years ago and it was quite difficult to find reputable providers here, so I went back to the UK in the summer holidays and had a load of different tests done privately in London. As well as having a sensory integration assessment which picked up the dyspraxia, I had speech & language assessment, eye tests, hearing tests, blood tests and allergy tests. I could have had them done here but wanted independent assessments without my son's school being involved at that stage and also to ensure that there was no incentive for the tester to skew the results towards the services they offer. I think there are recommendations for local assessment providers on other threads. My son had 2 years' occupational therapy at what was then the British Institute of Learning & Development near Spinneys Umm Suqueim which was very effective. They have had a change in ownership and title and unfortunately I don't know what they are now called (but someone here should know) and they also did assessments for dyspraxia. Good luck!
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Latest post on 23 April 2014 - 11:24
My son had speech therapy at age 3 for Developmental Speech delay at Rashid Paediatric following a assessments for speech and hearing at the American Hospital. The speech therapy was very effective but I was not aware that Developmental Speech Delay commonly occurs with a number of other conditions, so it was a huge surprise to me when 2 years later he was diagnosed with dyspraxia, sensory issues and a hearing problem which was not picked up by the American Hospital previously. If I had known of the connection I would have got him assessed for other conditions at the same time and consequently got him the therapy he needed for them at an earlier stage. I too was convinced that he did not have motor problems because I had never seen him having them - all the things he had difficulty doing, he avoided at home, so I never noticed and was shocked at the assessment to find out that he couldn't do basic things I had assumed he did regularly in PE or playtime at school, such as hop on one leg or walk heel to toe in a straight line. If you haven't had a formal assessment to rule out other conditions, please, please get one. Hopefully it will just confirm that speech is the only issue for your daughter but if there is anything else you'll be able to get her all the help she needs now. Wishing you both well.
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Latest post on 17 April 2014 - 15:51
When our last maid went back, who was very good and had been with us several years, we gave her one month's salary for every year worked. She also had the extra month's salary as her Xmas present every year. We also gave her some money for each of her young daughters' bank accounts, which will probably go towards their dowries. Whilst there was no obligation to give a bonus we felt she had given us good service and knew that she was sending most of her money home to support her extended family, not saving money for her pension years, so we suggested that she open up a bank account for herself and not tell the family that we had given her the money... In the end she used it to move to a better apartment and as capital to start up a small family business, so although it wasn't a massive amount to us it made a big difference to their lives. We will do the same when our current maid leaves too.
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Latest post on 15 April 2014 - 10:51
If you change your original date this time she will expect you to hold it on a different date every year, so your son will not get to have a party on his actual birthday. The choice to attend is hers and if she doesn't feel up to celebrating with you it's better for all concerned for her to be elsewhere while you get on with enjoying yourselves. It's the ideal opportunity for you to organise a separate birthday tea a day or two later with her, brother, kids, FIL & FILs girlfriend, so your son gets 2 celebrations and take her feelings into account. Enjoy!
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Latest post on 13 April 2014 - 18:22
Don't you just love teenage boys??? I'm sure the British Embassy have had to deal with the legal ramifications of underage uninsured accidents here and could happily clarify the consequences for your son and the wider family, should the worst happen. At 13 he would be expected to face the consequences of his actions, which would be far more serious out here than in the UK. It's probably worthwhile making sure his friends aren't letting him have a go driving their mopeds when you're not around either... Good luck!
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Latest post on 13 April 2014 - 18:11
We used JD Tours last year and they were brilliant (possibly jdtours.com or something similar) recommended by someone else on here. Our driver was Jaffer and he was absolutely lovely, even when my youngest was carsick 2 days running!
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Latest post on 30 March 2014 - 11:21
Nobody???
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Latest post on 30 March 2014 - 11:19
I lived in Bristol for 5 years before moving here and we really enjoyed it. It is definitely a city, so fairly noisy and built up with lots of traffic; parking can be a problem with older houses too but you'll get the same problem in Bath. As well as Clifton, Redland and Henleaze are also good areas. Tons of things going on, lots of great places to get out to, Cribbs Causeway is a good out-of-town shopping mall. We've considered moving to Bath after here but although it's much more picturesque, traffic and city centre parking is dreadful and house prices for anything central are much higher than Bristol. We bought and sold our house through www.richardharding.co.uk, so suggest you have a look on the website to give you an idea of house prices and areas. If you look at villages outside, make sure your husband tries the commute at peak times before you buy…
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Latest post on 02 March 2014 - 09:45
My friend is stopping over en route to India from USA and I would like to get gifts for her to take back for her daughter (15) and son (17) who I haven't seen for many years. I'm looking for something connected with UAE which won't take up too much weight or space in a suitcase. I currently have no ideas whatsoever! Any suggestions please, ladies?
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Latest post on 05 February 2014 - 11:55
Thanks so much for all your advice. I will definitely look into all your suggestions and hopefully find the best way forward. Perky Piglet, this is the third time my DS has been diagnosed with different special needs issues in 7 years. Each time there were problems with behaviour flagged up at school/nursery which I accepted as him being bright, quirky and misunderstood. Each diagnosis made sense of his behaviour and issues in retrospect and has made it easier for us and the school to support his development and make his challenges a little easier to face. However, I do agree with the approach of getting the assessment done independently so that you are in control of the information and can decide how much, if any, should be shared with the school. I would also make sure you get all the relevant health checks done too, such as paediatric eye test, audiology test, blood test, allergy test etc. and any others you think might be connected, eg. speech & language, if he experiences any difficulties in that area. The Special Ed guy won't be able to do any of this and you will either put your mind at rest that these are all working perfectly or identify other issues which may be contributing to or causing your son's difficulties. The Special Ed guy's diagnosis may or may not confirm what you've thought. If you trust his judgement and feel he is sufficiently qualified to make the diagnosis and recommendations, great. If not, there's no harm in seeking a second opinion with another specialist in Dubai or elsewhere and no need to let him know that unless/until you choose to. Hope all works out well for your son.
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Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 10:51
My DS aged 10 has just been formally diagnosed with ADHD by a reputable clinical psychologist who has recommended that we look into medication for him. I am also interested in find out whether there are any other therapies available in Dubai which we might consider. He has dyspraxia as well, so had several years of OT for that previously, which worked well. However, he still has a few residual issues some of which overlap with the ADHD. One of the issues is being a fussy eater and refusing to try new foods, so attempts to change his diet are unlikely to succeed, as he just won't swallow any food he doesn't already like, whatever the incentive. If you have any experience as a professional or parent of an ADHD child, I would appreciate any advice or sources of advice you can share with me about different types of medication, their effectiveness and side effects or about any therapies you have found effective for children of a similar age in Dubai. I appreciate that some posters will be horrified at the thought of medication for ADHD - I am not particularly keen on it myself but my child's quality of life is suffering and I want to be in a position to make a well informed decision on how best to help him. Many thanks for your help.
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Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 09:24
Thanks, Gaijind. I may well end up taking that approach but would feel more comfortable with some recommendations. Can anyone else help?
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Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 09:20
I did see one on the ground floor used as a wine cellar opened up from the kitchen side. I don't know of anyone who has opened up the the upper floors though.
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Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 15:43
Thanks for trying, Beatles19. I found those details too but can't get any response on the phone number.
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Latest post on 09 January 2014 - 12:02
Thanks for this, Plum. I looked her up on the website but it all relates to Australia. Do you know whether she does any work in the UAE?
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Latest post on 23 December 2013 - 18:56
I had a delivery from a company in the UK go missing here with Parcelforce. They delivered it to the wrong address and the maid there signed for it when the family she worked for were on holiday. As we had paid for the goods and delivery, we were given a tracking number for the website and I had to phone them in the UK several times because someone had signed for it and they couldn't tell me who it was or where it had been delivered to. In the end, when the family came back from holiday they saw the address on the parcel and delivered it to us themselves. I suggest you tell your MIL that you have no idea where the package is, as you have received no attempted delivery card and ask her to phone Parcelforce and find out where your package has been sent. Stress the urgency of it to her - it could well be sent back if nobody collects it in the next week (or two, if you're feeling generous) - and then let her have all the hassle of tracking down where it is. After all it's so much cheaper for her to phone a UK number than you. I'm sure she'll be happy to spend her Christmas trying to sort it out and decide whether she wants to go through it all again next year or would prefer to transfer money directly into your bank account instead. Good luck!
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Latest post on 13 December 2013 - 10:04
I got one several years ago from a kitchenware shop in Mercato which used to be upstairs next to the jewellery court and I 'm sorry I just can't remember the name (not Tavola though). I think it had a french name and there are other branches in Dubai. They had a roll of foam and cut it to size for my ridiculously long table and it worked a treat.
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Latest post on 11 December 2013 - 09:25
Has anyone bought a deck of Yuh Gi Oh trading cards here recently? I've tried Park & Shop, Hamleys & Toy Shop this week without success. I'm off to Toys 'R Us today but I'm not too hopeful. Any other suggestions? Thanks.
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Latest post on 03 December 2013 - 15:40
bump
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Latest post on 27 November 2013 - 13:16
Does anyone have any experience of motor tics in children? If so, did they disappear of their own accord or did you find a treatment that worked? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Latest post on 27 November 2013 - 13:06
Thanks, Irish 101, I'll look into Wellington.
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Latest post on 29 October 2013 - 12:53
We have just been advised of an incident where a female secondary school student was followed by a man in a small grey 4 wheel drive car as she walked home from the bus stop on Al Boom Street, off Umm Al Sheif Street, and who behaved inappropriately towards her. Fortunately she got away from the scene safely. It is possible the vehicle was waiting at or near the bus stop. The school has suggested that parents in the area might wish to collect children from the bus stop for the timebeing.
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Latest post on 25 October 2013 - 20:29
Thanks, Scaralex, that's exactly what we needed!
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Latest post on 23 October 2013 - 10:58
Thanks Bubbling Creek, you're a source of wisdom! I've never heard of a hourey, so that's one for wikipedia I think.
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Latest post on 23 October 2013 - 10:40
Hi Chichpokli Thanks for your suggestion. Where is your english tutor based? We're in the Ranches.
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Latest post on 09 September 2013 - 11:49
No, but I know a lovely Sri Lankan maid whose family has just left and needs a new position. I have known her personally for 11 years as a friend of both my current and previous housemaid and know she has good recommendations from her previous employers. Where is the family located and what ages are the children?
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Latest post on 04 September 2013 - 10:59
We have loft beds from IKEA and use both fitted and flat sheets from Debenhams for them.