Things I think have improved over the years
-General amenities - healthcare; malls; brands; restaurants
-Infrastructure - roads/metro
-Parks & green spaces
-Ease of getting things done, procedures are simpler and more streamlined
-Introduction of schemes like SMCCU, bridging gaps in knowledge and trying to bring communities together
-Locals with more passion about the UAE and especially around this time of year, it just gets bigger every year. I also love that we as expats are encouraged to join in celebrations like National Day.
-People tend to stay longer than a 1 or 2 year contract. So it's a bit less transient than the old days.
-We can now own homes here which makes long term expats feel more at home here.
-Redevelopment of older areas to bring focus to the cultural side of Dubai (like Bastakiya and the Old School etc)
-Driving, I'm surprised to see this is on people's bad list, it's SOO much better and more civilised than it used to be.
-The music scene/bands who come here now - it's really fantastic
- Organic & Local farming which has sprung up in the UAE, love it and we should all support it by buying local produce!
-I love that so many things are free or low cost so that people across all walks of life can be involved in the same thing. I'm talking about parks/beaches/firework displays etc. So it doesn't have to be all glitz and glam.
On the other hand I think:
- it's sad that it's harder now to get to know Local families as more and more expats move in and establish their own communities.
- it's harder to find genuinely older or more authentic parts of Dubai. Even places like Ravis/BuQutair - become so commercialised that they are not part of the 'old' Dubai anymore. It's almost tempting to keep old finds to yourself so they don't become Expatted!
- The destruction of old parts to make way for new parts is necessary but also sad. The old arabic doors on the gates of someone's one storey house, the very tall trees, the little alleyways - parts of a Dubai which are slowly being eradicated.
- it's harder to find people that have moved here for the adventure of moving to the Middle East for the cultural experience. There is almost a new wave of people who have moved here for the new 'style' of Dubai living - the boat/mall/brunch/lifestyle people, and while there's nothing wrong with that I sometimes wonder if they've ever spoken to a Local person or got to know anything about the country we are living in.
oops. that turned out longer than I thought. :lol:
Beautifully said TB. So many of those things you mention are things I miss. I'm so saddened to hear that more and more of old Dubai is disappearing...I had hoped those things would never change. ?
I never got used to it Ohman. I never liked having someone else living in my home. I loved and appreciated the luxury of having clean floors and a spotless kitchen each time I came home from school runs. I was always very conscious of how very fortunate I was to have help at home. The two ladies who worked in my home over our five years there were lovely...one a little easier to live with than the other...but I did always feel uncomfortable about having them live there.
I do love that I am still in contact with one of those ladies...Facebook is a wonderful thing sometimes...and now I consider her genuinely a friend. I miss her, but not having her live in my house. ;)
Yours is a bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question. ?
City? Country? Beach? Tropical? Mediterranean? Australia has it all. Nice areas, good schools and a great lifestyle can be had all over the country.
Where are you from? Many UK or European or South African expats choose Western Australia as it's so much closer to 'home'. Perth, Fremantle and further south are beautiful.
I live on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland and think it's one of the most beautiful beachside places in the world...but cost of living here is very high and jobs are few and far between.
<em>edited by Green-ish on 09/11/2014</em>
Thanks girls. :)
I was only able to speak to a receptionist today and make an appointment for next week.
I have now been told (by a friend who is in emergency medicine) that the benign/borderline types of these tumours are not considered to be 'cancers' since the malignant form so rarely develops...yet they are always in a hurry to get them out. All a bit perplexing really. I guess I'll just have to sit tight for a week.
Hope you are all well. :)
Ooh....it has been a loooooong time since the original BM. Gosh, I haven't posted for months, but I read occasionally and live vicariously through EW. :D A new BM who's not actually B M perhaps?? Gosh, changing initials makes it WAY too hard for the occasionals to keep up! ;)
We have thought alot about importing from the uk, but are worried that a breeders may not be happy with the arrangements. Does anyone know of anyone that has adult or puppy dachshunds they know need a new loving home?
If the breeder is "not be happy with the arrangements", then you may have found yourself a good/ethical one! ;) Anyone who will sell a pup without putting you through the wringer is in it for the money, doesn't really care about their animals and possibly breeds from poor stock. :(
If you have your heart set on a specific breed, then the only ethical choice is to import one. It is a shame it's so expensive...but I actually see that as a benefit to the animals. Only people who genuinely want the animal and can afford to care for it will go ahead. ;)
In the meantime, make sure all of the rescue groups know what you're looking for. K9 has a waiting list for people wanting small breeds. You just never know what will turn up.
Ooh thats a sly trick! Lesson learnt as you say but I'd still pay and just end the social outings with this particular childs mum then for good.
...or be sure to discuss all of the conditions of the outing beforehand.
I agree...rude to ask for money after the fact!
I wish the US media would stop covering these tragedies 24 hours a day every time they happen. I'm sick to death of the attention the perpetrators get. There's clearly something very disturbed about someone who would do this...I'll bet they get a kick out of knowing it will make them famous. :(
I'm sorry things were stolen. Unless I'm mistaken and things have changed a LOT since we left, what I would call "security" and what those poor blokes are paid to do as 'security' are two very different things. They are under-paid, relatively un-trained men with absolutely no clout.
Yes, I need a syrup not an antibiotic. What is the name of the syrup? However I think I might get Flagyl for myself. Have been struggling with stomach problems for a week now.
edited by Appletiser on 24/11/2012
I wouldn't take Flagyl lightly Appletiser, I had to take it for giardia and it was AWFUL. Made me even sicker. Same with my silly husband who took it 'just in case' which I warned him not to do.
I agree with Daza...Flagyl is vile and should only be used for specific, medically diagnosed conditions.
It treats bacterial and protozoan infections (like giardiasis). I had a quick look at one site on flagyl and didn't see any indication that it acts on any other parasites so I imagine it's useless against worms.
When I was growing up, the culture in Aus was to worm the children at the end of every school term. My parents didn't follow that and only gave us worming medication when there was evidence of worms. My sister and I turned out fine-ish. ;)
My children have had revoltingly obvious signs of worms pretty regularly since moving & starting school here in Aus, so I'm doing the three monthly worming routine at the moment. Might let it go for a while now and see if the worms make a comeback...
For us, my kids are outside all day every day and playing with chickens, cats and guinea p1gs. We have wild ducks, possums and loads of native reptiles in the garden. Even with pretty good hygiene awareness, young, outdoorsey kids will pick up worms.
Worming medication does not prevent infection so it's best used only when there is evidence of an infestation.
We will get a puppy/dog for our family. Where is the best place to go and which race copes well here in Dubai? We do have a 7 year old daughter, so needs to love children too...We are looking for a smallish dog.
From any one of the rescue groups or from an ethical breeder overseas. There are no ethically bred puppies available in Dubai.
In terms of breed (if you must have pure-bred :) ), avoid anything with a brachycephalic/flat face. Pugs etc are not suited to the heat.
Your number one best choice for family friendly [u'>and[/u'> climate suitable would be a local saluki cross. :D Many are knee height or slightly less.
Some of my favourite authors are Wally Lamb, Tim Winton, Paullina Simons, Philippa Gregory, Bryce Courtenay (RIP :( ). Other books I've read and enjoyed..."Thirteenth Tale" (Dianne Setterfield), "The Good Thief" (Hannah Tinti) and "The Red Tent" (Anita Diamant), "Across The Nightingale Floor" (Lian Hearn, Otori trilogy). I love Sohpie Kinsella or Marian Keyes for a light read and a giggle. :)
We're considering whether or not to bring our two cats to Dubai. One is a fit and healthy 12 year old and the other is 8. How much does it cost approximately?
Doghouse and DKC always come highly recommended. Both will be happy to give you quotes.
You already knew the answer to your original question didn't you? I'm so sad for you as it's just so awful when what you thought would be 'forever' turns out to be 'for as long as he thinks it's worth it'. I have a good friend here going through a similar emotional nightmare and, strong as she is, it's very, very hard on her.
As you are clearly aware, the MOST important people here are your children. They learn everything from us, including what a healthy relationship is. Whether you and your husband make it work or not...don't teach your kids that second-best is good enough.
Love and strength to you. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your precious little ones.
I don't understand how you can blame a country your living in for marriage breakups.
Surely it doesn't matter where you live if your marriage fails its gonna fail wether your in London USA or Dubai. I understand about the op not wanting to come here because of the law supporting the husbands though etc.
But blaming Dubai is abit far fetched. It's not Dubai that breaks the marriage is yourselves that let money stress get Inbetween you. Which could happen in England or any other part of the world. Just my opinion on it.
Oh yes, you can - this place is dog eat dog when it comes to work and everything else! People are not living in a [b'>normal[/b'> community - the population is skewed here age wise and in other ways. People forget about " real life" . Added to that there are masses of young women who are out to get a passport , a life and/or a money earner who don't care about families or wives. Some people here end up thinking they are the dog's ********. I know of so many who have suffered here from cases as mentioned!
I know I'm staying a little off-topic but...
This alleged phenomenon was just not our experience at all. In the five years we were there I made many good friends. Not once did I meet a single person who thought Dubai changed them, their partners or their marriage. Some didn't like the hours they or their partners had to work, but now that we're back in Aus we are finding the work climate here (in the same industry) is no different in terms of employers getting their pound of flesh and all that.
My marriage has had some major struggles but none of them caused by or exacerbated by our time in Dubai. I know others who feel the same way. I am sure some relationships have fallen apart specifically because of the couple's experiences in Dubai. Who's to know if they would have survived Singapore, Cape Town or Sydney?
Wow Anchor...big decision ahead for you! I'll echo the others in saying that moving (anywhere) is not a good idea when your marriage is struggling. I also wonder how anyone can blame a specific place for a marriage falling apart, but I do agree that any expat position that takes you further away from support networks will make things very, very difficult for you.
In my opinion, your husband has no right to dictate to you the terms of your marriage. He owes you a discussion on the potential move at the very least. You say he has given up on making any effort to keep the marriage working yet he has assumed you'll follow him across the world and answer for every $70 you spend?
Anchor...we all deserve better than that. Please do not make this move now. Fight for your marriage if you think there's something there to save. Get out of it soon if he won't give you the basic respect you deserve. If nothing else, your children should grow up learning that a relationship is based on mutual respect and takes effort from both sides to keep it healthy, happy and strong.
Best wishes to you.
Thanks all for your great advise. I prefer first hand because I used some rental cars and I had issuses like getting flat tiers in the middle of a school run with the baby in the car du to expired tiers. So I think a brand new car is much mire practical for us.
You'll get a lot more car for your money if you buy second-hand. If you look for something under two years old it will still have manufacturers warranty. Your issue with tyres is easy to fix. Put new tyres on it as soon as you buy it (if it needs them!). ;)
Not interested in reading it. There are too many good books I don't have time to read - why waste it in this one.
Same here. Zero interest whatsoever when I have a long list of actual literature to get through. ;)
I'm so sorry you're in this position. Every break up is HARD! I admire your strength.
You are the only one who knows the truth of your situation. If the relationship is doing damage and cannot be saved, it's not worth staying in. You (and he) deserve better than that. If there is one thing in life we all deserve, it's the right partner for life. We should never 'settle' for less.
Take deep breaths. Surround yourself with supportive people. Eat well. Rest. Exercise. To have a clear, healthy mind you need a healthy body.
I wish you can find new home for him.
Maybe its not my right to comment on that, but why to put him down??
[b'>If you can't handle the situation anymore set him free. [/b'>I'm sure he will survive out there. Sorry but i can't understand killing animals for any reason, special healthy ones.
edited by cafelate on 17/10/2012
Please don't ever do that to any animal in your care. A domesticated animal "set free" is doomed to a miserable end.
The only toothpaste mine like is Colgate cool mint which is a blue gel with little sparkles in it. You can get it at Spinneys. It's [b'>an adult toothpaste so has a higher fluoride level which is really important over here[/b'>, but has a milder flavour than most.
There have been many discussions here in the past about fluoride. It's important for each family to research and make their own decisions.
In our case...I have family members with teeth ruined by too much fluoride. All who grew up on tank water have great teeth. Out dentists have always told us that fluoride-free or very low-fluoride children's toothpaste is best for children, regardless of their water supply, and that adult toothpaste should never be used for children who do not have their 'adult' teeth.
Perhaps tell her about my 7 yr old who has just had five fillings in his teeth!! (milk teeth fortunately)
He also battles with me about using toothpaste and the dentist flagged this as partly responsible...the main problem is brushing technique. (and probably genetics)
<em>edited by Green-ish on 17/10/2012</em>
Did anyone come forward for this cocker, I have a cocker and they are adorable. I really hope his owners were found and that he was not abandoned.
Ange had no luck finding his owners unfortunately. I have heard he has been successfully re-homed though. :)
Have you had problems with the application? I have had my application for citizenship by descent for my daughter in process now for nearly 12 months. They keep asking more and more questions, wanting more and more papers and now want a DNA test!!!!!! It is ridiculous!!!!! I have birth certificate, doctor's report, a statement from the consul general in the region in which she was born (in Pakistan) and the Australian government will grant citizenship - not even a visit visa for her. I am so stressed over this matter. Anyone have a contact in the Australian consulate in Dubai (or embassy in AD) with whom I could speak and just get clear a answer to "why???" so I can get the papers that they want. I was born in Brisbane, I grew up there; it is a ridiculous situation.
That all sounds so frustrating for you. :(
Were you born an Australian citizen, or did your parents have to apply for that for you too? I ask only because it is a more convoluted process to gain citizenship for your child if you were not born an Aus citizen. If you are an Aus Citizen by descent (or by other means), have you spent time living in Australia in recent years...or only in your childhood as you say you "grew up there"?
Have you spoken to someone in the Dep't of Immigration & Citizenship in Australia? I always found the consulate general staff in Dubai to be very helpful, but if you're having problems understanding the hold-up, maybe you need to talk to someone in Aus. You *might* have to consider returning to Aus to do the application???
We went through the process almost two years ago, from memory you apply online and make an appointment at VFS the visa processing centre which is in Bank Street Bur Dubai (not the consulate) you submit all the forms, documentation and fee to them. It took almost two weeks to obtain the certificate which you then require to apply for the passport, which is actually at the consulate in Burjuman offices, you need an appointment for that also and that takes a further 7 - 14 days. Unfortunately the whole process is all a bit time consuming and inconvenient IMHO but no other choice ;)
This is the process as I remember it too. A little inconvenient, but all simple enough. Definitely worth paying the extra to have the paperwork couriered to you so you don't have to trek back to collect it all!
Some advice...call the consulate general's office first and get an idea of the current wait times for an appointment. Sometimes you can get an app't in two weeks, at other times the wait can be six weeks or more. Also call and triple check costs...and be sure to have exact cash with you.
Thanks ladies, I've been here 2 years and DD is 18 months. I do have a group of "baby" friends and a group of friends for me but everyone seems to busily be getting about their own lives and fitting play dates / ladies nights in around school runs, work, teenage weekends etc.
I guess I've just lost my way...
Do you have a good friend with whom you can sit down for a cuppa, a laugh and a good-natured kick up the butt? ;) While I'm not suggesting this is your circumstance, I suffer on and off from depression, and a good swift kick from a trusted friend is often enough to get me back to a more positive way of thinking.
I don't mean to trivialise your situation. You do need to swing around to a positive train of thought. If you wallow in "I've lost my way" then you'll fall deeper into the hole. Nobody needs that. Be kind to yourself. xxx
<em>edited by Green-ish on 15/10/2012</em>
ladies thank you so much for your responses. I really needed them today after being told by a family member that I shouldn't give in to him. I'm 5 months prego with #3 and really can't lose a nights sleep because I didn't give him something at bedtime.
As long as he's brushing his teeth before he goes to sleep, let him have the bottle. You're right...if him having a bottle is not actually a problem for you, don't worry about it.
When you are ready for the end of the bottle, I did two things to 'get rid of it'...like kittycat71, I stopped offering it. He only got a bottle when he asked for it. The number of bottles reduced quickly - within days he only asked for one before bed at night rather than three times a day. After that, I took him shopping to choose a new cup. I stood him in front of all the suitable choices and let him choose whatever he wanted. We made appropriate, but not too full-on, 'big boy' fuss and he happily had the milk in the new cup with a built in straw within a week and he threw the bottle in the bin. He never asked for a bottle again.
Whichever way you go, don't stress over it. :)
As long as you're spending lots of time with him, he doesn't need anything else. Maybe lie on the floor with him and sing or tell stories...he loves your smell and your voice more than anything else on the planet. :)
As kiwispiers suggests, do try some tummy time. Mine all hated it so I never pushed it (and they are all fine :D ) but it is good for their development to spend some time on their tummy.
I think the most important thing is to recognise when he's had enough and the start your soothe to sleep routine [u'>before[/u'> he is actually tired. This avoids over-stimulation and helps in better, longer sleeps. :)
For both of our Dubai newborns, we found it easiest to do it ourselves. You can get a plain sheet or towel of the correct background colour (we used a white towel) and lie it on the floor. Lie baby on the towel and take a photo from directly above his/her face. Any good photo shop with a knowledge of passport photos can then crop and print the photos for you.
We found this much easier than trying to time a trip to the shop when baby is in the right mood. :)
If committing time worries you, is there anything you really love to do that doesn't require a commitment? On one of those mornings that your little one is in nursery you should do something just for you! I have finally learnt that lesson, seven years later, and the difference it makes to my state of mind is amazing.
Go horse-riding? Learn Arabic? Join a book club/craft group? Go to a spa and be pampered? Go to the gym? Sit in a beautiful park and read a book?
Find something you LOVE to do on your own and do that at least once a week. :)
Is there anything you feel passionate about that you could do to fill your days? Join a volunteer group etc?
When the timing was right for me, I got really involved in a breastfeeding support group. I also used to host morning teas to show mothers all about cloth nappies. I used to be involved in a lovely little toddler group where we took turns running educational (but fun! :) ) activities for the children each week. The first Mothers' group I joined used to take turns hosting at our villas in the summer and sometimes we had guest speakers. The whole five years I was in Dubai I was either pregnant or breastfeeding, so all of that worked for me. ;)
There are groups that work tirelessly with labourers or women in need or animals etc.
Is nursery or a nanny and option for you so you could seek part-time work?
I found that once I got a great group of friends established I rarely had a quiet moment during the day.
You sound like a really driven and organised person. How did you organise your days/schedule in the past? Do you need to get a diary going and start finding things to fill it? Do you need to get a 'Dubai To Do' list happening and plan family activities together?
You'll find your Dubai rhythm. xx
ETA: Now that we're back in Australia I have had to go back to full time work. My youngest is almost three and in full-time 'nursery', I desperately miss the time I used to have with her. I'm sad that I don't get to have those early years with her like I did with the other two until they started school. As long as those days at home sometimes seem, your baby will be grown before you know it...so for now, try to treasure every moment with her.
<em>edited by Green-ish on 15/10/2012</em>
If this was my dog this would be my plan...
Meet Verity (AMAZING!) and have her assess the dog and your family. Be prepared for her to be very honest with you and be prepared to have to do some work in order to have success with the dog. Verity will explain that the humans are the *problem*, not the dog. :D
If you do everything V asks of you and things still don't improve (which would almost certainly be a first ;) ), then I agree with Chocs...try to rehome him as an only dog with a couple who have no children, and no plans for them during the dog's lifetime. ;)
If he's healthy and can be happy, you can avoid euthanasia. If all else fails, I also understand having to make that very hard decision.
I hope you manage to find a good home for them. You will need to be very active in looking for a home. Your family needs to 'phone all of the rescue groups, place ad's in all classifieds, on local notice boards, with vets etc. Talk to everybody you know and ask them to spread the word. If you have a FB page, ask there for a home and ask all of your local friends to share the request. To try to home four cats together is a big ask, but someone will help you if you work to find that person.
Is it a Cockatiel Macaw? I saw an ad on Dubizzle for a lost Cockatiel Macaw with a picture, maybe it belonged to somebody.
What on earth is a "cockateil macaw"? Lol. I looked for the ad but couldn't find it.
I guess you can only do what feels right for you, within the parameters of her contract. The couple of maids we had did have the odd sick day and as they were genuinely ill, it did not even occur to me to dock their pay.
This does raise another issue though. Child trafficking could be a lot easier than we thought if a child get get onto a plane with no documentation, then smugglers using fake documentation should find it easy to transport children internationally.
I can't tell you how many times we exited and entered Dubai on an egate card and nobody (after baggage check-in) thoroughly checked any of our documents. Through a major airport and on and off planes...and all that was checked was the correct number of boarding passes...
So many ideas - thank you. We found the mats didn't work - they were eaten!
We didn't get our jack russell until she was 7 months old and she's now 11 months. All the time I'm with her and we go out for walks, she's really good. It's just the odd time indoors - mind you she does seem to make a mess in the bathrooms! I suppose what I'm looking for is how she can let us know she needs to go.
Also she is really bad at coming to us when we call her and I would love to take her to an open area for a really good run but I'm scared she won't ever come back! Any ideas from you lovely dog owners?
I think you'd benefit from a session with a dog behaviourist or trainer. Both can *fix* the problems you're having with the dog, but will tackle it in different ways. They'll give you tools and techniques to keep working with. :)
Whatever you do, DO NOT let your dog off leash until you have the recall 100% mastered in controlled environments. A JRT will smell any small mammal and be GONE! ;)
Verity is an amazing behaviourist and there are some very good trainers in Dubai...Ange74 is one. Someone will have current contact details for them if you're keen.
I'm trying to find a link...I remember reading an article a couple of years ago saying that "labourer" is one of the occupations now allowed to sponsor a wife. I think there was something like a 5000dhs deposit to pay on application of the spouse visa. Of course min salary applies too. Will keep looking for links.
ETA: minimum salary of 4000dhs is ringing a bell. Less (3K?) if the company provides accom
http://dubai.ae/en/Lists/HowToGuide/DispForm.aspx?ID=44 - the only link I can find on a quick search and with three kids screaming in the background. Really better go and do some parenting... ;)
<em>edited by Green-ish on 07/10/2012</em>
Jag...I grew up with a garden full of beautiful oleanders and survived. :D My parents did not want the garden trashed and did not want us poisoned, so ALL plants apart from the veggie patch were off limits.
ETA: they are more of a risk for pets (if you have a dog that chews plants)
<em>edited by Green-ish on 07/10/2012</em>