Lolacat | ExpatWoman.com
 

Lolacat

Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:45
But you still have the most important problem - moving your children again... I don't think that is an issue, the issue is her relationship with her dh, if that is solid and correct then everything else will be easy.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:43
Hi All. I am moving from Spain this summer to Dubai, and I'm desperately trying to get my Son who is going to be grade 10 next term in a school. We have done 1 assessment test online which he has failed, I think the reason he failed was due to the contents of the assessment not being what my son has seen before. Also the school wasn't very helpful when I asked what he failed on, my Sons first language is Spanish, but his English is ok, can anyone help me with information about these assessment tests, what kind of test questions they contain, or if any schools English or American except children without doing an assessment test. Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.......... Hi Baya I'm sorry to say but you need to think very hard about moving a grade 10 to Dubai who is not solid in his english or been following a US , Uk or IB curriculum. You need to speak with the schools about this directly and see what can be done. Try looking for schools that have a English as a foreign language support unit. I think some of the GEMS schools do and Repton Dubai does have an academy but be prepared for your son to sit back a year due to language concerns. At this level every school will require some form of assessment.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:36
I need to check. When I was there early 2000's spouses were not allowed to work. Might have changed. Will check but not sure Malaysia is an option...ie what happens in 6 months. http://expatwomen.blogspot.ae/2009/01/good-news-for-expat-spouses-in-malaysia.html http://www.expat-blog.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=35500 Hi Everyone, In the Permits Foundation newsletter this week, they announced that new regulations allow spouses to take paid employment in Malaysia: "The Malaysian Immigration Department has published new regulations that allow spouses on a Dependent Pass to take paid employment after obtaining an endorsement in the passport by the Immigration Department. They no longer need their own Employment Pass or Visit Pass Temporary Employment. A job offer is required and the employer needs to have approval from the relevant authority / agency (MIDA / MDEC / Central Bank of Malaysia / Securities Commission / Public Service Department of Malaysia). At the same time, husbands of Employment Pass holders may now apply for a Dependant Pass. Previously, they were only eligible for a Long Term Social Visit Pass. The application can be made in Malaysia and no fees are made for the endorsement to work, beyond the normal cost of a dependant's pass.The changes, which are effective 20 November 2008, are published at: http://www.imi.gov.my/eng/perkhidmatan/im_PegawaiDagang.asp#new"
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:25
Thanks all. Sadly no real family and his family are in oz. Lolacat - good advice. Only reservation is my eldest is going into year 8 and was very uncofident. Has blossomed since coming to Dubai.youngest has had issues so another move will not be good for her. I've just completed my hypnotherapy training and was all set to commence work in 6 months or so under umbrella of an existing company. Spouses are not allowed to work in Malaysia so I'm back to drawing card with nowt for moi and no way of supplementing his POXY salary. I'm booked to go to uk with kids 1st july till 17 th aug so doesn't leave me any time to sort anything out. If I could rely on him sending money that would be the solution but I can't rely on that. Eldest DD would also face returning to school where she had all the bullying. What a mess but thanks for all the advice. Lets break down the issues and points and hope it may help. Firstly your older DD who lacks confidence and is at risk of being bullied is the perfect candidate to be home schooled, she will thrive and gain(continue to) confidence. Your next DD will also thrive from being kept in the family unit and will regain confidence. Kids are resilient and will thrive under some one to one, don't panic about education it's seriously over sold by schools, it's not difficult and kids just need to learn what they need to learn for life. Now the DH issues are major in my book and need to be addressed asap. "Rely" on him sending money suggests you have no control over finances, urm well this is in my book is just wrong and needs sorting straight away. The word rely also worries me, your dh needs to grow up and get responsible for his family, if he can not do this then there has to be a consequence, only you can work that out, but for me he had better grow up and grow a pair asap or you are better off without. Perhaps a hard consequence you need to make very clear. The UK trip can get cancelled if you are to move to KL or NZ or you use it to leave and return to UK, you can not afford to do everything? These issues should not be just your issues, they should be being communicated with your DH and resolved together. Your DH has to wake up to his responsibilities and the complications of movement and financial issues. You must sit with him with pen and paper and work through each issue together. Write a list with figures and costs. He has to carry some of the stress and burden for his choices. Financially you have to look at which options provide you with the least stress and worry and most of all least debt.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:08
I cannot understand why you stayed here for so long anyway....all that you have said since you arrived is how hard it is to survive on your budget and even mentioning how you will not buy the over priced cordial for your girls. No offense intended but if you stayed this long, you are a sucker and so I am putting a 90% bet on it that you will tag along to humid land. I know it and he knows it. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Umm, perhaps a little harsh?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 16:03
In a good school a child will easily become fluent in the language of the school within 6 months, children are amazing at picking up language skills. Play dates, nursery time and english media will also help your little one.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 31 May 2013 - 15:49
Where there is a problem there is always a solution, try to stay positive. You can easily home school your two children for 6 months, there is loads of free stuff on the internet. You can rent a small apartment in KL and save some money. Get all your deposits etc back from here and try to leave here without debt, this has to be a priority. Alternative is you go back to UK and stay there while DH travels the world, he lives very frugally and sends money back every month for you to live off. I'm sure you have highlighted to your DH that your kids are now at an age where their education can not be messed around with nor their well being mentally.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 28 May 2013 - 22:21
I'm sorry but regardless of whether it's allowed I would never ever allow my children to have a glue stick when travelling or play doh. As another poster said it's a recipe for disaster! Surely if the airlines thought it was a good idea thye would put it in those children's packs? Oh but wait they don't they put colouring pencils, a book and a toy and most have TV and games.
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Latest post on 28 May 2013 - 22:14
It will be a selective school, finally. I believe that there is a hole in the market and there will be a lot of rejections in the applications dept. Repton is selective isn't it?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 26 May 2013 - 16:17
Really stuck on what to get hubby for his birthday, He really has every toy any man could ever want!!! Hes got the ipad, ipod, mac, go pro, i phone x2, dream car, a nice wallet, about 50 pairs of shoes, more clothes than me, play station, some stupid DJ thing that he plays with, at the weekends he like to ride his quad bike but has everything thing he could ever need for this. Really stuck need some ideas that he wouldn't expect please help !! A survival trip with no credit card, a charity based project where he takes nothing with him?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 26 May 2013 - 16:15
Just get out of the country and by any means go somewhere else before this baby is born. Once born, you will need to obtain 2 passports from your DH. Really just try and go anywhere in the world but here and back home. Perhaps you could suggest delivering the baby in the West somewhere for passport issues (anchor baby)....then once you deliver, don't ever look back. How can she leave if she is married to a pakistani and has no passport? Where should she go? seriously it's easy to say the above but the reality is what exactly? No passport, no visa's to enter another country.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 26 May 2013 - 15:54
Were some of these posts meant to be helpful? The reasons why the poster wanted a baby may defi normal logic for the unabused but with a step back and appreciation of the history it does not take much to fully understand why she felt this may be an answer and a need. This woman needs to find love in her life somewhere and a baby in her mind answers that. That's without the pressure of being married and the cultural expectations of where she is from factored in and the importance of producing offspring. All this woman strives is some normality to her life and simple happiness. Posters do not need to understand the reasons they need to offer constructive and supportive advice to this poster who has bravely posted about one millionth of her life and the abuse she has suffered. She has been told how to behave,think and how to act all her life, now she needs help and support in making her own choices a totally new concept. To the OP, can i suggest the following which may be of help. That you find a therapist who is western trained but of your own nationality. That you touch base with the womens welfare groups here and see if they offer a support or advice service. That you contact the Pakistani womens association and see if they have links to support networks. That you look into setting up a bank account in your name that no one has access to or knows about. That you try to regain your passport back from your dh. And finally that you gain some legal advice. My thoughts are that you are at a turning point in your life and now need advice as to what is actually possible and inspiration from women who have been in your shoes from your own culture. You are worthy of more and with the right advice and help i am sure you will find the strength to find a direction that brings you the happiness you dream of. There are no easy answers as you know, but somewhere there will be answers to your situation, i hope you can find the strength to find those answers and the courage to fullfill them. good luck.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 23 May 2013 - 21:16
You can also use condensed milk (plain) mixed with water /half and half, i have used this for years with kittens without any problems. Once old enough chopped (very small) up cooked chicken will do as well for diet. I always have tins of condensed milk in the cupboard just in case. May be helpful if you can not source kitten milk.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 23 May 2013 - 21:09
There is a difference between would you, can you and do i have to. The fact you are asking the question suggests you are not jumping for joy at the prospect. Only you can way up the reality of driving up and down the same stretch of road day in day out under what could well be stressful conditions.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 23 May 2013 - 21:01
I can remember when Jess Jumeirah opened, it was considered the inferior option to Dess and there was much brouhaha! Totally laughable and absurd of course but the subject of schools has always evoked anxiety amongst some parents. In my experience different schools serve the varying expectations of parents and needs of individual children. Last year a friend moved her two children in Yrs 2 and 4 to Dess from Repton. Her daughter is much, much happier at Dess as in the mother's opinion Dess offers a more nurturing environment. Her daughter doesn't have any learning issues but she just responds better in a more gentle learning environment. Her son however has not done well at Dess as he thrived on the academic pressure at Repton. They've decided to move him back to Repton in September to prepare him for the Common Entrance exam in England at 11 but his sister will remain at Dess. Over the years i have met many ex Dess students who went on to Dubai College and then on to the Ivy league or top Uk universtites, many gaining masters etc. I also know parents whose children have moved from DESS straight to the UK into top private schools. I do hope your friends are aware that DESS has been producing well rounded academically strong children for years with proven results and before they move their child again. Moving schools continually is not a great idea.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 22 May 2013 - 22:21
Foremarke do start later - 8.30am to 1.30pm for FS1&2. I quite liked that idea! They said it was due to traffic and that they believe children learn better slightly later morning. What were the fees for Foremarke for FS?
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Latest post on 22 May 2013 - 22:20
Thank you for all your responses. I looked in to Repton to see hat kind of reputation they had and the results of inspections etc. it doesn't look too promising with regards to the school not being finished 5 years on! That's put us off somewhat. We have decided to go with the GEMS school instead. If Foremarke manage everything they promise then it could always be an option for the future. I would love to send her to an established school but we were very late to apply and none of them are accepting applications this late, or have accepted our registration fee then told us they are full. We only started applying 6 weeks ago as that was when DH had his job in Dubai confirmed. We visited Horizon school and loved it. They don't have any Fs1 spaces though but we are keeping our application with them open in case a place becomes available down the line. Safa is also a lovely school and check out Star umm sequin.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 22 May 2013 - 22:04
my friend went there in the sixties when it was the only expat school here !! so they don't come any more established.. lol Not just well established, low staff turn over, elected board of governors who run the school and are answerable to the parent body, Non profit making, higher salaries than other schools for staff, smaller class sizes.................
Lolacat
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Latest post on 22 May 2013 - 22:01
By the way what is the marble arch ? Pretty sure she means Repton. In my opinion, I think DESS is as good as a state school in the UK. What do you mean as "good as a state school? "
Lolacat
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Latest post on 22 May 2013 - 21:57
180 with a little flexibility but i to have noticed the days dwindling over the years or filled with non days of fairs and days out etc. A saturday only has to be put in once or twice and days are back up!
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:15
Starfish swimming does triathlon and ladies morning classes.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:14
Warqa 2 is not on the flight path but does occasionally get planes over head, no big deal. The area is more a local one than western expat one. There is not an expat community such as there is in AR, the Villa or DSO, nor many parks, public swimming pools etc. The houses can be cheaper per foot for what you get but do check your LL out and local construction going on. There are a lot of mosques in the area as well so if you are muslim you can walk to one very easily. We did smell the rubbish and swerage at times when the wind blew the wrong way. I also found the road in from Emirates Road could get very heavy with traffic in the evenings. :-( May change to option 2 - The Villas. Many thanks for advice!! Again, do check out the landlord, the drive in and local facilities. Also check out neighbours DEWA bills. There is an online forum for the Villa, may well be worth posting for info on there. AR is finished and has great facilities as does DSO. There is also Al Layan, Motor City, Victory Heights, Green Community .
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:10
Super tricky questions ... my cousin is an architect and at the moment things are definitely on the move ... prices are steadily increasing ... but not at the prices they went up to before 2007 .... in my opinion .. i really thinks it totally depends on the community you buy in to ... Ranches still seems to be a good buy ... other communities and or building maybe over valued ... hope that helps.. I think it depends on how much you can afford to lose should it go wrong. Lots of free capital then go for it if it's what you want.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:07
Such differences of opinion.............Barbara woodhouse any day lol
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:03
I feel a recommendation for a company coming.... A new school that makes lots of promises?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 17:02
Warqa 2 is not on the flight path but does occasionally get planes over head, no big deal. The area is more a local one than western expat one. There is not an expat community such as there is in AR, the Villa or DSO, nor many parks, public swimming pools etc. The houses can be cheaper per foot for what you get but do check your LL out and local construction going on. There are a lot of mosques in the area as well so if you are muslim you can walk to one very easily. We did smell the rubbish and swerage at times when the wind blew the wrong way. I also found the road in from Emirates Road could get very heavy with traffic in the evenings.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 16:53
On a lighter note i can understand why doing the school run could lead many to drink!
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 16:49
Oh you mean Tora, she is amazing. toratora boutique, Address: Ground Floor (between Costa Coffee and the Courtyard Marriott Hotel), The Market Mall, Green Community, Dubai Investment Park, Dubai. tel: 04 8800 911 email: [email protected] facebook:toratoraboutique
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 14:25
Risk to who? Risk is dependent on personality, some see risk as fun, you either make or lose big. Risk to most is not worth taking in case it goes wrong. Anyone who says they can predict the housing markets over the next few years is living in munchkin land in my view.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 14:20
Yes but if there were only a maximum of 15 kids inclusive of ages. Better than a school as the ratio teacher pupil would beeeee tiny!!! If I had 15 kids ( my grandmother had 12) this is what I would do but then no way I could live in Dubai with that amount of children. lol, please can i have what you had this am.............
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 14:18
wow I like that Lolacat, count to 10 before speaking your mind! and I really appreciate the insight I am hungree, this is a local, private company as well.. so honestly the thing I am most nervous about with the new job is being able to interact and deal with my colleagues.. I will be in a managerial role and I plan to def dress conservatively and deal conservatively with ppl, but I am worried about other things, like automatically being perceived as "weak" because I am a woman, when in fact I have a very strong personality.. in usual work settings, I start off as friendly and warm (but def not chatty) and earn my colleagues/superiors' esteem over time by my work and professional contributions.. but in this type of setting, I have heard that I have to be totally no nonsense, tough, and even borderline rude to my subordinates from day one to be taken seriously.. is this true?? They have obviously employed you for this reason, will they back you up when the proverbial hits the fan, which it will at some point, well that's the question. "Yes i have done it", does not always mean yes i have done what you asked me to do, initiative can be a dangerous thing. lol Depends on who you are dealing with, use your most educated and open minded to help and communicate with. Figure out quickly who you have to work with, their back grounds and personalities. A chat with each can tell you quite a lot in a short time. In fact many times you may have to count to 50 or take a walk and come back to a situation, sit down have tea, have more tea and then bring the matter up having asked about other things. It can be a process.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 14:07
Sorry to bring this back up again but I can't work something out. As I said before, I'm ok travelling except when I start reading. I always thought it was because I wasn't looking where I was going. So how come I dont feel sick when I close my eyes/sleep in the car? Totally random, sorry about that. Just wonder if there any clever ladies out there who know the answer? http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=why-does-reading-in-a-mov
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 14:05
Rent a villa, juniors middle years, seniors,. Way to go would be the answer to my prayers... Employ 3 plus teachers with accom in the upstairs bedrooms entire ground floor dedicated to the school. A maid of course for cleaning and general upkeep she could even cook the school lunches (after school dinner ok now I am dreaming) I wonder????? That is called a school...............but there are always possibilities and ways.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:57
try Valtrans or google limo companies, i have often done this for guests flying in and it really has never cost that much.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:56
The article is very badly written and im not sure I believe the statistic. Howevet I do believe a lot of marriages end in an early divorce because most of them were based on lust and fancying the pants off someone and not much else. Six months on and its mmmhhmmmm so that's what it's all about and now I know - I want out. There is no acceptable alternative to marriage, if people want to experience the joys of a marital bed, it really does have to be a marital bed they are in. Funny i would say the opposite, and much has to do as the article states with the segregation, expectations and arrangement of marriages. The article states cheating was more acceptable previously..............it doesn't say cheating has stopped though, so i'm not sure about the joys of the marital bed have much to do with it..........or that women are now to blame for this, maybe they just have more rights and have changed their mindset and find it unacceptable.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:48
I will be joining a new company in Dubai in a few weeks and would appreciate some tips from those who have been there/done that.. until now I've worked in a more western environment with a diverse mix of people, but the new job is with a heavily Arab/ethnic base .. as a women joining this company, any tips for do's and don'ts to get started off on the right foot? Learn about cultural sensitivities asap, inc dress, what is ok to discuss, your place as a woman, ie hand shakes. How you look will without question decide how you are thought of. Learn to count to 10 before speaking your mind. Have fun!
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:44
I think homeschooling or groups of parents clubbing together to employ a teacher . is that legal? Probably not, unless through a company who provides such a service, but everything is possible is it not?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:42
I don't think you should drive defensively, there are enough idiots on the road doing that already. Just drive normally but be more aware of who is around you and don't expect them to make a logical movement. LOL If you are not ready to drive and not confident then either get a driver to drive you or Limo company pick up rather than a taxi, or a neighbour/spouse/friend. Nervous drivers can make the roads even more dangerous.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:37
I thought it is not illegal (unless you are paying a teacher!), but that you can't then join a school later down the line as you don't have the transfer papers that you need. That's easy to get around, there are ways, I would not let that prevent me if it is the right thing to do for your own child.
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Latest post on 21 May 2013 - 13:35
I think homeschooling or groups of parents clubbing together to employ a teacher will become more and more, i think it's a great idea and much better value for money. The only problem that can arise is if you wish to put your child back into a school in Dubai, and then there is always a way around it. I can really see more and more parents opting for this, i certainly have and are considering it.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 20 May 2013 - 16:17
Changes to school hours, each section of the school has different times, longer for the senior school. Tutour groups in the senior school will be a mix of age 11-16. Lessons will be 2 hours long. The school is already over 2000 pupils growing to 4500. Thats just a few. We were made as Betti stated to pay our registration fees by the end of Feb or lose your place! These changes were annouced last week, leaving parents very little option to change schools if they didn't agree. Parents were not consulted about any of the changes! We personally feel our kids are being used as guinea ****! edited by Tykes on 20/05/2013 Split pick up times and longer days for seniors are surely a good idea? Tutor groups of mixed age, do you mean that group all gets taught together or the tutor is responsible for a range of ages? Lessons 2 hours long? Means the teachers will have to plan their lessons rather than wing them, it's just double sessions which are so much better in senior.
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Latest post on 07 May 2013 - 07:00
Someone works for you as part of the family for 5 years and you have to ask whether to get them a little something? I have always given any help we have had a cash bonus on finish of contract, why on earth wouldn't you?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 07 May 2013 - 06:51
Well i do hope it is not your organisation that has recently spayed a tiny kitten i have that was put back with a litter mate who was instantly killed as they had no chance of survival and the one I have has such a poor spay job with a raging infection is going to have to be re opened!!!!!!!!! If putting a young orphan kitten back out onto the streets isn't bad enough putting one back with a raging festering infection is not cruel i don't know what is!
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Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 16:46
We had 2 boys done at Safa Vets last year, and they only took the very tip of the ear off; hardly noticable. I did ask if it was enough, and they said that if the ear outline was even slightly different, then that was fine. As an earlier poster said, the shaving around the stomach cut would be the giveaway. It doesn't grow back fully until the scar is healed. No shaving on leg or tummy, 6 week old kittens don't have much hair when ferals. No leg shave means a different type of anaesthetic was used.
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Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 13:46
they can be done at 4 months or more but the recommended it 5 and over. 2 months is not done at all, well, I suppose someone would do it but I highly doubt it as that is way too young. Some vets still do the tummy incision but either side or tummy it will be shaved in a big square, cant miss it...it takes quite a while to grow back. The ear clip could be obvious but in a kitten that young it will grow fast so as the kitten grows the cut will/could become less obvious. Thanks sue, they can be done from 8 weeks sometimes less but it is dependent on the weight, however i fail to see the point when it has minimal chance of survival when put back by itself. But then i'm not a great believer in TNR in this environment any way, yet to see a healthy stray!
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Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 13:43
So kitten has been spayed. I don't know by which organisation. However the logic is just beyond me. To send a young kitten back out to fend for itself is illogical to me, care for it until it stands a chance of survival, which there is no way it does at this time. It's around 6 or 7 weeks old.
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Latest post on 02 May 2013 - 13:39
Thank goodness for posters like the OP who have an ounce of humanity in their bones and do the right thing.
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Latest post on 01 May 2013 - 21:19
Repton is a good school. It is big though so might be a change for you. Year One is ten form entry. X Good or outstanding?
Lolacat
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Latest post on 01 May 2013 - 21:14
My son felt safe and liked his"aunty" very much, so he was happy, the maid had her room for her stuff, so during the day they each had their own space. Our maid was not a stranger but part of the family. I understand that it's not the way in Europe but many children are brought up this way all over Asia and Africa and it is really OK. I feel that my kids are safe with the maid sleeping with them, the maid is happy, the child goes to bed easily, has no nightmare, I immediately know when he is sick and we, as parents, have our privacy. Yes many families co sleep you are correct. The word here being families not an employee. As for privacy, what's the point of having children if someone else is mum? Of course, historically, it used to be the norm to have a nanny who kept the children away from the parents most of the time in Victorian/Edwardian days (cf Mary Poppins) and an ayah would serve the same purpose in British Colonial India. Things only changed in the UK as a result of WWII. Historically for a very small percentage of the population and archaic. Certainly not what many nationalities have done for hundreds of years. Nanny would never sleep with those children either, nanny would have her own rooms, so this sort of misses the point re maid sleeping with kids.
Lolacat
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Latest post on 01 May 2013 - 21:11
WOW can some not read, this is terrible SD. Does anyone have anything helpful to say about the labour law here? What does the law say about treatment for an employee, anyone know? Is there anone this poster can call to get the employer to take his man to hospital and pay for his treatment? I'm sure the OP will pay for a taxi but will the treatment be free at Rashid or does this gardener have to have a labour card? Will the employer be liable or the employee? Poor chap, this is terrible stuff.
 
 
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(Images: Supplied)

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