WhiteOrchid | ExpatWoman.com
 

WhiteOrchid

WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 23 February 2014 - 14:28
My kids school has a decent parking area and is able to absorb all cars during school events. It is against the rules for anyone to be dropped off outside the school boundaries. Just as well, because it is surrounded by busy roads. The carpark is constantly monitored by a group of very bossy security staff who will send you back to your car if you are outside the lines or have not pulled in enough. I don't know why these guys feel empowered to do this when so many others seem to be cowed by pushy, rude parents. Maybe the school backs them up, maybe they are better trained or maybe they have a good boss. You do see staff members assisting at busy times, but they are not generally needed. It is very refreshing to see a system that works. That sounds great. How many security guards are there? Also, what school is it?
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 23 February 2014 - 11:52
No, I haven't. I would like to know if it is sold there before going all that way. Sounds like a good plan ;-). If I go to Funky Monkey this wk I will have a look for you.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 23 February 2014 - 11:44
Hi have you tried Safestway?
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 22 February 2014 - 10:05
Hi all, I've found this thread really useful while looking for a maid/nanny. My experience of Filipinas has been similar to people below - I've had about 30 not return calls, 2 not turn up to interview, 2 accept an offer, then not return my calls....overall, lots of frustration and no success. So per the advice below, I widened the nationality search and have had better experience with Sri Lankans, although poorer quality of english (which is why I had originally preferred Filipinas, since my daughter is 3 so her english grammar is still developing). I also widened the search beyond "previous experience with a western family" as that generally translated to "high expectations of money and allowances". I've found that by looking for someone who has limited experience or experience only outside of Dubai, but a nice personality and common sense you get someone with more realistic expectations on workload and money. I'm using lots of "what if" questions in interview e.g. what do you do if the baby won't stop crying, what do you do if the baby gets sick and I'm not around, what do you do if the child tantrums in public etc to see how they think. Good luck for all of you who are still searching. Thanks, this is really useful info. Although I have to say I'm slightly disheartened to read that Philippinas are the ones with *better* English. My own experience is that they have extremely poor grammar, even after decades spent in the UAE with English-speaking families. Such a shame as many are great workers. <em>edited by WhiteOrchid on 22/02/2014</em>
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 15 February 2014 - 23:25
Listening to a prominent local lawyer on the radio recently, it is only a problem if you are doing visa runs and working, as it is against the law to work on a visitor's visa. Anyone doing so and found out would, apparently, be deported. edited by amelia on 13/02/2014 Thanks for sharing. Did he/she mention whether there would be a penalty for the employer? Some companies seem to use this arrangement for long periods of time...
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 10 February 2014 - 10:46
Jumeirah 1 and love it for all the reasons listed by oopsiedaisy. Still, wouldn't move here now as it's just got too expensive for newcomers.
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 10 February 2014 - 10:43
Hi yes there is a nice cafe called Zarafa now. BUT i can't remember much of what was on the menu, and it also gets v busy so tbh I would pack a healthy lunch all the same. If you have kids, it will also keep them occupied in the car. Lol.
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 09 February 2014 - 09:17
Hi there, not sure what your budget is but Cleopatra (not the spa) on Plant St (roughly opposite Al Maya) do very reasonable monthly deals. Not a fancy place but clean and functional :-)
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 08 February 2014 - 13:20
Hi there is actually a bilingual school which sounds nice: http://france.english-schools.org/ecole-internationale%20de%20lille-metropole.htm It's in Marcq-en-Baroeul which is a pleasant area (that's where both of my flatmates came from).
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 08 February 2014 - 13:16
Hi Audreyfb, I'm slightly biased as I'm half French and lived in France as a teenager. I would say it's a good opportunity for your both you and your son to experience a different culture (and language), and spend more time with your dh. I haven't lived in Lille but had two flatmates from there so have a reasonable idea about the area. Pros of living in France: - Excellent educational system (your ds would have to learn French but there may be a bilingual school which could help him) - Great healthcare - Access to lovely food, wine etc - Good work-life balance - shorter hours and lots of bank holidays :-). Pros of living in Lille - Not far from UK and lots of other places (e.g. Benelux, Germany) - great for day trips and weekends away - Very friendly culture - locals rave about their city and are v proud of it. It's got a big student community, great nightlife etc. In fact they say that they have in their hearts what they lack outside (the sun)! I would say Lille's culture is similar to Newcastle in that sense. - Close to lovely countryside and sea - Manageable size - Reasonably low cost of living (need to double-check this though) - you could *probably* live in a nice house, cheaper than what you could get in Kent - Not sure about British expat community but I wouldn't be surprised if there were quite a few Brits there. Cons of living in France: - High taxes (but am guessing you would pay this anyway if you dh works there) - Some ppl are quite miserable (same as UK!) and complain a lot. Cons of living in Lille: - Same climate as in the UK - Less job opportunities for you (although you never know - depends on your profession). Personally I would go for it :-) Hth x
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 06 February 2014 - 14:04
Hi I know some western TAs working in Brit currculum schools (unqualified but with uni degrees) who were earning 4k a couple of years ago. At my dd's school, they are paid about 7k. I would say a newly-qualified nursery teacher can get 7-8k at a British nursery. I may be wrong though. Personally, I would only look at this line of work if a) you are passionate about kids or b) you really needs something that fits in with your family.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 05 February 2014 - 23:57
Hi paddington, I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. Around a year ago there was a similar thread from a woman in danger. She managed to flee the country with her children by contacting the following support group: The British Community Assistance Fund (BCAF) The British Community Assistance Fund (BCAF) is a non profit Organization run by volunteers from the resident British Community, which endeavours to provide help to British subjects who find themselves in distress in Dubai and the Northern Emirates, through no fault of their own. Where possible, help can be provided in the form of legal, financial, medical assistance, repatriation, as well as counseling if required, for those with marital difficulties and for the bereaved. As BCAF relies solely on donations and funds raised through hosting events we are always seeking new volunteers; if you or your friends can offer your services in your free time we would be delighted if you would contact us: 24 hour Helpline Telephone: (04) 337-1413 Hth x
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 01 February 2014 - 23:31
"impolite" is an understatement. Very impressed with your response. To be totally judgemental myself (because let's be honest, we all are) I feel very sorry for this woman's children. Can you imagine having such a clearly insecure and damaged person as your role model. Like! Having been a mum for 7 years, I've had my fair share of 'unhelpful' comments. I think the best thing to do is to disregard them as, invariably, they come from people unhappy with their own lives.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 31 January 2014 - 22:36
We had literally been speaking for only a few moments. I was kind of shocked and replied that I would be disappointed if I raised him to think that what she said was an appropriate comment to make to a stranger, and walked away. Well said! I wish I could come out with answers like that on the spot. I normally think of them 10 minutes later when it's too late.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 31 January 2014 - 22:15
As my sister once said: don't waste your best years on someone who doesn't want you or the things you want ..... Move on and find someone who does! Like!
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 31 January 2014 - 22:12
What a ridiculous comment. She clearly has issues of her own to deal with!
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:58
Hi TDB. What's your budget per head?
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:47
I went through this during the GFC when I got made redundant at 34.5 weeks pregnant, long story short, I was going to deliver at Med care hospital, but the company canceled my insurance/visa and when I checked out there rates, it was about AED10K for normal delivery, so I decided to jump on a plane instead- fat belly 36 weeks preggers (with doctors clearance) and gave birth at a government hospital in Australia, which worked out perfectly for me. Goodluck- I am sure there are plenty of cheaper options, but that was just my experience back then xx Sounds sensible! Glad things worked out well for you, SD.
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:46
Hi I would recommend Latifa. Not the cheapest, but defintiely worth it in case something goes wrong. Their nicu is the best and still much cheaper than AH or City. I delivered there 3 times despite having insurance which would easily have covered a private delivery. Incidentally, there is *always* a risk involved in having a baby here - even if you have insurance. People often assume that their policy will cover anything but many only pay for 2-3 days in nicu. This includes certain more expensive expat providers e.g. Goodhealth, Axa etc. So... insured ladies, make sure you read the small print!
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 30 January 2014 - 16:41
Hi you can easily have 3 kids in a junior suite at the Hilton Al Ain. In fact many families do so. The rooms are a bit tired but huge.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 18:56
Ok thanks. Any idea how long it would take to drive to Media City?
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 17:15
Great, thanks for your responses - v encouraging. Are there any buildings you would recommend/avoid? Quite a few are 'affordable' e.g. AED115k for a 3 bed. Is there a catch?
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 27 January 2014 - 17:11
Great - thanks for all those tips! I'll try C4 and Babyshop as I'm going to moe soon. It's true that I found a plain black tee in BS once for AED12! Failing those, I'll try FC stand :-) Cheers x
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 23:33
Hi does anyone know where I can find yellow, green or orange tee-shirts for 4 year-olds? They must be plain. It's for a carnival at school. TIA x
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 22:45
Hi congrats on deciding to start a family :-) As PPs have said, the most important thing is to start planning your pg with your dh... then you can find a suitable professional. In my view, the best way to achieve this is by understanding your body better. I got pg quite quickly *three* times by using FAM - the fertility awareness method. This is explained in Toni Weschler's "Take charge of your fertility" (TCOYF). It's a brilliant book which explains things very clearly and simply. I couldn't believe how much it taught me about my own body - very empowering. I think you can find it at Kinokuniya at DM - failing that, the old library had a copy you can borrow. Good luck and have fun :-)
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 26 January 2014 - 22:34
Hi I can't help on scholarships, but have you considered doing an online masters with a western uni? That could work out cheaper than attending a uni here. What is your home country? That might be a good place to start looking for courses. Hth x
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 24 January 2014 - 23:15
Also in Meed was a story about Jumeirah Beach Road and Al Wasl Road to be made one-way and a 16-lane bridge over the Dubai Water Canal that will link Business Bay and the Gulf along the southern edge of Safa park. Exciting stuff! Not exciting for people who live in or own homes in Jumeira 1,2, and 3. No, sounds awful.
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 24 January 2014 - 23:10
Hi Belhasa driving school near Latifa hospital run vg refresher courses. I did mine with a lady called Bina who was v professional. Took me out on SZR and made me feel a lot more confident. Good luck :-)
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 16 January 2014 - 08:47
They are doing it in DIFC too - a colleague was fined 2 days ago Really? Whereabouts?
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 22:25
I understand your frustration given the lack of pedestrian crossings. But... I did see a lady who had been knocked over there once. She was conscious but appeared to have quite a serious head injury with blood pouring down her face :-(
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 22:22
Ok thanks, mollydxb. Do you think they have access to a pool?
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 15:27
MOM - I had a C sec NOT by choice and it was a horrible experience, I didn't bond with my baby, I felt guilty of "cheating" and ended up with PND. So I can understand why you might think this, and to some extent, you are right. A lot of births here end up with C sections due to the private system and Drs pushing them, rather than being out of necessity. Unfortunately I was one of those cases, and didn't realise it til after that my care was handled very wrongly. I trusted the Drs who insisted on this and that, and I felt so cheated of the natural birth I wanted. It was a horrible, scary experience and I still now 1yr on have flashbacks about it, of my BP dropping on the table and feeling like I was going to pass out with no one listening to me despite there being 10 people in the room. I am going for a VBAC this time around. Having said that, my SIL had a very difficult and traumatic natural birth - she suffered injuries and pain for several years afterwards and the baby got stuck during delivery. It was dreadful for her and she wished she had had a C. So, I think it depends on your mind set as to whether it is something to go for or not. Trust me tho - for those who think C sections are for those "too posh to push" has obviously never had one. it is major abdominal surgery which leaves you in pain for weeks and makes bending over or lifting a massive chore. I would take a natural labour within pain for a day over the months of depression I suffered which I believe is 100% down to having had a CS. I'm really sorry to read all of that, TDB. I know it's disappointing, and I can relate to some of what you said with regard to my first baby's birth. But sometimes planned c-sections are much less stressful. At least that was my experience. I wanted a vbac too for my 2nd and was all set up with a doula etc but dd2 was breech so I had no choice. Again not the ideal outcome but tbh soooooo much less stressful and easier than 1st time round. For my 3rd, I just went with the flow and it was quite easy too (although the recovery longer). Anyway I really hope you get the birth you want... but try not to stress if you need another cs. You've got the benefit of experience now, which should stand you in good stead. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy xx
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 15:18
However discreetly you do it, it is impossible not to show a bit of nip when you're getting them to latch on, never mind putting yourself away afterwards. I Not impossible at all. You just need a bit more practice - which you'll be getting soon ;) True :-). I also meant to say that I don't use covers as I find they actually attract more attention!
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 15:16
Hi I think 2 cheques is the most common. When I arrived 10 years ago, everyone I knew paid in 2 installments. At the height of the boom in 2007-8, many LLs were requesting one cheque but tbh many were just trying it on. After the crash, they suddenly became more flexible, and some even accepted monthly payments. In 2011, many were happy with 4. Now it looks like it's back down to 2. Personally, I would never pay in one cheque - it's a total rip-off!
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 15:06
First I am going to say "Each to their own" Makes no diffeernece to me what other people choose to do or why, but I am wondering something. If you have not had a natural birth and have CHOSEN to have a C section, do you feel llike you have missed out giving birth to your child? Im asking because I gave birth to my daughter naturally and had a hard recovery due to medical issues so am considering a section with my next but I feel like it is cheating. I also feel like the whole point of my body is to birth my children, feed them etc. I dont want to have a section and then feel disconnected or something like that. Giving birth was amazing and there is nothing in the world like it, I am just a bit hesitant Don't worry... there's no need to feel 'disconnected' frm your child after a cs. I really wanted natural births for all of my children, but ended up with 3 c-sections. For the 1st I was a bit disappointed but had no problems bonding at all. And for the other two I was just so grateful for stress-free, safe deliveries. No matter how you deliver your babies, they are yours. Enjoy your pregnancy :-)
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 15 January 2014 - 15:02
Hi I have been bfing in public (on and off) for the past 7 years, all over Dubai. I have never had any problems although I am of course very discreet. The only time I encountered hostility it was from a visiting British couple at a hotel. But they had been making faces at us during the whole meal as they didn't expect to see kids at brunch... lol! It was actually quite funny, and I smiled sweetly back at them :-)
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 13 January 2014 - 09:03
Alternatively, you could always make some washable liners. I did this for dd2 and it saved me a lot of hassle and expense. You just need to buy a cheap fleece blanket (eg from C4) and cut it up into rectangles, similar in size to sanitary towels. Then just rinse them with shower hose over toilet when dirty and chuck in the wash with diapers. Et voila.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 31 December 2013 - 00:06
Or if you *really* want to cut costs you could try GMC Ajman... from 2k. Not sure what it's like though. Lol. http://www.emirates247.com/news/emirates/child-delivery-packages-fall-to-as-low-as-dh2-000-2010-09-01-1.286186
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 30 December 2013 - 20:40
The DHA website may not be up-to-date but this is what I found: The New Fees for the Antenatal and Delivery Package Implemented On 12/4/2010 as Follow: Antenatal Care: 5000 DHs Normal Delivery: 7000 DHs (SHARED ROOM) 9000 DHs (PRIVATE ROOM) Caesarean Delivery: 10000 DHs (SHARED ROOM) 12000 DHs (PRIVATE ROOM) Antenatal Package include: 1. Medical consultation= maximum 6 visits 2. Vaginal swab culture =1 time 3. Full blood count=2 times 4. Ultra Sound scan=(2 times) 5. Blood grouping=1 time 6. Breast Feeding Education 7. Indirect Combs Test=1 time 8. Antenatal Health Education (Arabic & English) 9. HIV Test (Aids) =1 time 10. Fetal CTG=1 time 11. Hepatitis B = 1 time 12. Rubella Antibodies= 1 time 13. Blood Test for Syphilis=1 time 14. Urine Examination=1 time 15. Blood Sugar level=1 time http://www.dha.gov.ae/EN/Facilities/Hospitals/AlWaslHospital/PatientsGuide/InOutPatient/Pages/PackagePrograms.aspx
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 30 December 2013 - 16:57
Hi last time I checked, Latifa were charging about 10k for a normal delivery and 12k for a cs. I had my 3 babies there (albeit not for cost reasons) and was v happy. I think the antenatal package is 5k. Remember that although private hospitals have 'reasonable' packages, they are v quick to add on charges in case of complications or just extras... whereas govt ones charge v little. When I was admitted to LH for dehydration at 35 wks, I was charged about AED360 for an overnight stay, several IVs and countless tests and dr consultations. Lol!
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 27 December 2013 - 19:31
Hi I would just get a live-out maid. That way you don't have to worry about her invading your privacy or making space for visitors when they come over.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 19 December 2013 - 08:17
http://gulfnews.com/news/gulf/uae/police-called-to-the-palm-after-road-collapses-1.1267695
WhiteOrchid
493
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EW EXPLORER
Latest post on 09 December 2013 - 12:07
Ladies thank you for your support. Just to let you know. My daughters have been pulled out of this school and now we are on the hunt for a new school. WOrse comes to worse they will be home schooled until the new year. I would love that but both my husband and I work so it may be a little too difficult as they are too young to take on the responsibility alone. Any suggestions would be very welcome :) Well done, janatks. It sounds as though that school was definitely not a good fit for your family. Apologies if you have already mentioned this earlier, but what ages are your dds? Also, which are do you live in? If you let us know then maybe we can help you in your search. Off the top of my head, I would suggest you contact Safa, Victory Heights and Wellington Al Khail. There is also Foremarke although atm it only caters for young children. Hth x
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 28 November 2013 - 23:43
Hi, a friend of mine was in a similar boat - Christian Brit marrying Leb muslim and they got married in Cyprus, the nearest place for a civil wedding (unavailable in Leb and the UAE). And is it attested in the UAE? Is it valid? Yes.
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 27 November 2013 - 11:19
What is a 'fair' salary for maids? Should you leave your dh in dxb over the summer with your sexy live-in helper? What is the 'best' school? Do you get what you pay for? I have a vicious pet with behavioural problems and am about to give birth.... could someone pls adopt it?
WhiteOrchid
493
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Latest post on 27 November 2013 - 11:15
After 9.5 years in Dubai sans maid, I have finally come to accept that if I want to go back to work I will have to hire someone. My question is: what is a realistic salary for a full-time live-out helper? I was thinking of offering AED3k (AED2400 + AED600 for rent). Duties would include: - Housework in the morning - Collecting older kids from school bus (outside our home) - Collecting younger child from nursery (across the road) - Taking them to 1-2 activities per week (5 mins walk away) - Preparing snack for kids - Preparing lunch boxes - Babysitting 1-2 nights per week. She would have 2 days off per week plus one flight ticket home. We live in Jumeira 1, very close to shared accommodation (so no bus or taxi required). I would want someone experienced, preferably with her own family and who has been in Dubai at least 5 years. Is this realistic? TIA x
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 25 November 2013 - 08:13
Tecom has some reasonable hotel apts... not an overly exciting area but easy to get to (metro) and close to lots of things (moe, marina, beach etc). Check out Auris (although these have gone up) and Legacy as a starting point.
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 22 November 2013 - 12:09
I think it depends on the person's culture... e.g. if she is from Leb she is probably used to being openly complimented for it. In Beirut, women parade around wearing vest tops and obvious bandages straight after an op. But if she is a Bit it may be different... lol. Incidentally, I don't think it is a 1st world problem! Plastic surgery is far more common in developing world e.g. south america and middle east.
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 22 November 2013 - 11:20
Thank you all, that is just what I thought. I hope she doesnt get caught as I would hate to be in her position. Like you say, you cant be in the ME, earn tax free money and claim benefits from a country you are not even living in. Although I hear the Eastern Europeans now living in the UK are claiming for their kids who dont even live in the UK. Is there any justice in that? That's Europe for you... You are very right - Europeans now have more rights in the UK than the British. My step daughter was turned down for some benefits at her local authority (she cannot find work and has a one year old child). However, a family of 6 Eastern Europeans, who moved in just a few months ago, live in the house next door and get everything going. It's a disgrace. This is total rubbish. I don't know the precise details of your sd's case, but I worked as a consultant for the DWP Benefit Policy Unit a few years ago. All EU citizens have equal rights to claim benefits in the UK. With regard to Child Benefit, the govt recently made some changes. Until a couple of years ago, the benefit was not means-tested. This meant that *everyone* (from poor ppl up to millionaires) were entitled to claim it, regardless of their income. I have to say I found that wasteful. So they introduced rules to begin screening for the benefit. Personally I do not agree with the current anomaly which means that single-income families on over GBP40k pa do not get it, whereas double-income families earning a combined income of more than that actually do. This definitely needs to be reviewed. But to state that 'Europeans' have more rights that Brits is utter rubbish. Enjoy your weekend :-) <em>edited by WhiteOrchid on 22/11/2013</em>
WhiteOrchid
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Latest post on 21 November 2013 - 09:51
I know! After 9.5 years here I'm finally enjoying it.
 
 
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The Real Expat: Chasing Your Dreams to Find Your True Purpose